


Dreamfall

by Kirye22



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 96,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirye22/pseuds/Kirye22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hi! My name is Anna. See that girl in the hospital bed? The one with the red pigtails and endless amounts of freckles? That's me. And the woman sitting next to me? The one with the hair like starlight? That's Elsa. She means the world to me. She's strong, smart, incredibly gorgeous, and, most importantly, she's going to save us all. Modern AU Elsanna non-incest (Rated Mature for language)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So, I have slowly started making the transition to AO3, and I have to say, I think I like it here. I hope y'all enjoy this story, and please feel free to comment any questions or concerns you have, along with any criticisms (constructive only of course.) Thanks for checking it out! 
> 
> Disclaimer: Disney owns Frozen and all characters associated with it.

Prologue

 

_I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing._

_I swear, you keep on giving me the reason to keep believing._

_-"Best of Me"_

_The Letter Black_

 

Every story has a beginning and an end. In some cases, the two are one in the same. My story ends here, in this hospital. In a coma. Waiting to die. Sad huh? But don't feel bad for me. I've accepted my fate. Shit happens right? I'll be okay. Really. I only have one regret. I regret leaving her. She's been through so much already. I hope she'll be okay. She's so strong, stronger than she thinks. But this…this might actually kill her.

I wish I could hold her one last time. Tell her everything's going to be all right. I just know she's going blame herself for this. Me dying, I mean. But it's not her fault. Not really. I made my choice a long time ago.  I wish I could say goodbye. But…I'm sorry…I'm throwing all this at you, and I haven't even introduced myself!

Hi! My name is Anna. See that girl in the hospital bed? The one with the red pigtails and endless amounts of freckles? That's me. I know I don't look so good. That's what happens when you get hit by a car I guess.

And the woman sitting next to me? The one with the hair like starlight? That's Elsa. She means the world to me. She's strong, smart, incredibly gorgeous, and, most importantly, she's going to save us all. I'll explain that later.

I guess you're wondering how I'm talking to you if I'm in a coma, huh? Well, to be honest, I'm not too sure myself. I've never done this before. Maybe it's one of those out of body experiences? I wouldn't be surprised if it was. After everything I've seen, I guess I should've expected something like this. I don't even know how it did it. I mean, I just started thinking real hard, and, well, here we are! Crazy huh?

I was actually trying to reach Elsa, but I guess you'll have to do. I really don't have the energy to try again, and my story,  _Elsa's_  story, needs to be told. There are things that need to get out, need to be known. And I don't have much time left.

But before I start, there is something I need you to do for me. It's super important. Like, it might be the most important thing I tell you. I know we've never met, and I know this might sound…strange but…I-I need you to tell Elsa I love her.

I know you don't know her, or me for that matter, but I really need you to do this. She needs to know how much she means to mean. I don't think I ever told her.

And I need you to tell her how sorry I am to have to leave her like this. I really do wish I didn't have to leave her alone. I wish I didn't have to break my promise.

Finally, I need you to tell her goodbye for me. I need you to tell her that no matter how far away I may seem, I will always,  _always_  be with her…I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry all over your conscience. I didn't even know it was still possible to cry.

Note taken.

Okay, so like, all this sounds really crazy, believe me I know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it myself. And…I know she might not believe you. I mean it  _is_  a lot to take in, so if she doesn't tell her I said 'Jeg er her min lille snøfnugg.'

It's something I used to tell her when she was mad, or scared, or stressed. Tell her that, and I promise she'll believe every word you say.

Now where was I? Ah yes, the story. Elsa's story. Where to start…hmmmm Oh! I know! The best place would probably be the day all this started. The day we first met.

It's kinda funny cause I broke her nose…well not that I mean breaking her nose was funny, just how it happened. I don't just go around breaking people's noses. Unless they deserve it of course. Not that she did! That was an accident! She'd never deserve that and…

I'm rambling, aren't I?

Sorry about that. I tend to do that sometimes when I get nervous or embarrassed. But, um, so yea I broke her nose,  _accidentally_ …and we started taking and stuff, and…

Wow. This is harder than I thought. Maybe…maybe I should just…show you. How you ask? Well I kinda have an idea. Now this may feel a little weird, if it even works. I've never done this before. I'm going to try and pull you into my memories.

Wait. Almost…got…it…

There!

Alright, are you ready? Yes? Good. So it all started about 6 months ago…


	2. Chapter one

Chapter 1

 

_Take me to a place where doors are open_

_A lovely little place where no one's broken_

_Welcome to the world that no one's listen'_

_Just wanna break out and escape this prison_

_-"Bring me To life"_

_Thousand Foot Crutch_

 

Beep! Beep! Beep!

What the hell is that? Oh right. My alarm. Shit. I groan, blindly swiping at the source of that incessant beeping. I don't want to get up, but I know I can't miss work again. Dr. Weasleton would fire me for sure.

I slowly drag my tired body out of bed. I shower, brush, and dress in record (for me) time. I just finish braiding my fiery main into my signature pigtails when my phone goes off.

"Crap." I say, trying to find where I left it. Eventually I find it in a dirty pair of scrubs, and I look down at it. A very large blond man standing next to a goofy looking reindeer fills up the screen. It's Kristoff. Probably calling to make sure I'm up and moving. I ignore the call. I finish getting ready and I notice a text flashing on my screen.

**Kristoff:** _Hey feisty pants, I just wanna make sure you're going to work today. You know Weasel won't give you any more chances if you miss again._

I scowl at Kristoff's nickname for my boss. Not because I really care, but because I used to find it hilarious. Now all it does is remind me how dead I am inside. I sigh and type a quick response.

**Anna:** _I know. I'm on my way now._

I put my phone in my pocket, and head out the door. It's cold outside, the sky overcast as a few snowflakes fall lazily to the ground. I'm glad I grabbed my coat as I pull it tight, grumbling about the weather.

I hate,  _hate_  the winter. I'm definitely a summer person. I stop by my favorite (or used to be my favorite) coffee shop. I'm going to need my fix if I plan on making it through today. God I hate the morning shift. Who in their right mind wants to work at 7am!

"Good Morning, Anna." I hear the barista greet me cheerily as I walk in. I look up at her, taking in her long golden hair, and warming smile. "I haven't seen you in a while. The usual?"

"Hi Punz," I reply, "Can I just get a large coffee? Black?"

"Sure thing," she says as she pours the drink, eyeing me cautiously. I know she's worried about me, but I really wish she'd stop looking at me like that. It won't help. If anything, it just makes me feel worse for not being my usual upbeat self.

"That'll be $2.09." she says, placing the drink in front of me.

I pull out my wallet and hand her a few bills. I can tell she wants to ask me how I am.

"I'm fine, Punz," I tell her, both of us knowing it's a lie. But to her credit, she just smiles and nods, handing me my change.

"I know, Anna. I just wish you would talk to someone. You used to be so happy and wild, and now you're just…" she leaves off, waving her hand vaguely.

"Dead?" I supply. She winces, but nods again.

I sigh.

"I'm just going through some stuff right now, Rapunzel," I say, using her full name for emphasis. "I feel like…I dunno like I just don't have any motivation. No ambitions. I'm on autopilot half the time and I can't seem to break out of this rut."

"Anna," she reaches out to put her hand on mine, but I pull away before she can. She scowls but continues.

"You know I'm here for you right? I just want to help. Ihate seeing you like this. We used to be such good friends, and now it's like we hardly see each other. I want my Anna back."

I nod my head as I grab my drink. I feel bad that I've been ignoring her, but there's nothing I can really do about it.

"Thanks for the coffee Punz," I say as I start to leave. I hear her call out to me, but I'm out the door before she gets two words out.

I sigh, pulling out my phone and checking the time. **6:30AM**. Maybe I'll actually be on time today. Ten points for Anna. I notice another text from Kristoff.

**Kristoff:**   _Hang in there Anna. You'll make it through this._

I don't reply. I scowl as I walk to the hospital. Why can't people just leave me alone? They act like I'm doing this on purpose. Do they think I want to be like this? To feel nothing all the time? To have all this guilt because I can barely force myself out of bed anymore? I hate them all.

I'm so engrossed in my thoughts, I don't realize the woman who steps out of a cab in front of me. I keep walking, eyes on my feet, and just as I look up, we collide. My coffee goes everywhere, down my front, and her back. The papers in her hands go flying, landing in the spilt drink, probably ruined.

Shit! I step back and trip over my feet, falling on my ass, as she is propelled forward from the collision.

Into a light pole.

Face first.

_CRUNCH!_

The sickening sound of breaking bone makes my heart drop. I just broke her nose. A woman I don't even know. A woman who, by the looks of all her luggage, is new to the city.  _And I just broke her nose!_ Way to go, Anna.

"Fuck!" the woman screams in pain, her hands coming up to cup her nose. I just sit there, like an idiot, watching her try to stem the waterfall of blood that is flowing from her face.

"What the hell!?" she yells, muffled slightly from her hands as she turns on me. "Watch where you're fucking going!"

I blink once. Twice. Even covered in blood, she's absolutely  _gorgeous!_  Her platinum blond hair tied up in an elegant French braid, bangs swept back. Her pail, snow-like complexion. Her cerulean blue eyes…Eyes that were currently glaring at me with absolute hate. All completely stunning.

"Oh. My. God." I exclaim, completely mortified. "I am sosososo sorry!"

I struggle to stand, hastily pulling a few tissues from my purse.

"Let me help you with that!" I say, reaching for her. Her eyes widen and she takes a step back.

"I don't need your help," she all but growls. "You've done enough!"

I pause for a moment.

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe I actually broke you nose. And I don't even know you! N-not that I would break it if I did know you…but not knowing you makes it even worse! God I'm such a freaking klutz." I say, feeling a rambling session coming on. I haven't rambled in a long time.It feels good. But I can't think about that right now.

"Please let me help? I can set that for you! If you want?! It'll just take, like, two seconds. And it'll feel better afterwards! I promise! Plus you don't want to leave it to long or it could get really infected and..." I trail off, wincing as I try to stop my word vomit. The woman is looking at me like I have snails growing out of my ears.

"Please? I'm really sorry."

The woman looks at me for a moment, before letting out a painful sigh, hands still cupping her ruined nose.

"You've…done this before?" She questions, anger still apparent in her voice.

"Yup!" I say. "I've done it, like, a thousand times. N-not the breaking noses part. The setting 'em part. I'm a registered nurse."

The woman takes a deep breath. She opens her mouth, and, for a moment, I think she's going to tell me to fuck off.

"Fine."

Her response surprises me. It's curt, but I don't really blame her. I walk up to her, slowly, and she puts her hands down so I can examine the injury. I wince.

I really did a number on her. Her nose is almost completely bent to the right. And it's already starting to bruise. She'll have two shiners for sure. I put my hands on her face, so can get a better look at it. She flinches from the contact but doesn't pull away.

"Okay, so, I'm not gonna lie, it's…pretty bad," I say, moving her head left and right so I can get a better angle. "But the good news is that it wasn't smashed, it's just crooked, so I should be able to set it no problem."

"So hurry up and do it already!" says the woman angrily.

I look up from her nose into those un-godly blue eyes. I didn't realize before how much taller than me she is. She's got at least four inches on me. She's clears her throat, and I realize I'm staring.

"I'll count to three," I say, "are you ready?"

The woman grunts the affirmative and I put my thumbs in position.

"One."

The woman closes her eyes to prepare herself.

"Two."

I flick my thumbs and set the broken appendage back into place.

_SNAP!_

"Auuughhh!" yells the woman backing away and grabbing her nose and letting out a steady stream of curses as I release her.

"You said on three!" she yells accusingly.

"I did," I reply, "but it hurts less if you don't expect it."

She glares at me, pulling her hands from her face. Though it's still a little swollen, it already looks much better.

"How does it feel?" I ask, the ever caring attendant.

"It still hurts like hell" she spits. Then her eyes soften, just slightly. "But it does feel better. Thank you."

I nod my head, still embarrassed about the whole situation. Just as I'm about to respond, my phone begins to ring. I pull it out, an apologetic look on my face, and check the caller I.D. It's the hospital. Shit. I hit the ignore button and look up at the woman. She is looking at me with intense, unreadable eyes. I blush.

"I-I really have to go. I'm already late for work," I say. "Once again, I'm incredibly sorry about your nose. And your clothes. And…yea." I finish lamely. She nods, the look never leaving her face. I pull out my wallet and grab a couple hundred dollar bills.

"Here." I say shoving them towards her, along with some tissues. "Even though it's set you should still go get it checked out. This should cover the fees." I say. She looks at the money, but doesn't take it. I sigh and push it into her hand. Before she can respond I turn and take off down the street.

 

*****line break*****

 

I rush through the hospital doors, checking the clock as I make my way to the locker room. **7:32AM.** So much for being on time. Luckily I don't run into Dr. Weasleton just yet. I peel off my coffee and blood-stained clothes, and change into my scrubs as quickly as possible, before starting my rounds. Still no sign of the Weasel. Maybe I'll get off easy after all.

As I check up on patients, my mind continues to replay the incident with the woman over and over again. I can't believe I broke her nose. How embarrassing. As if spilling scalding hot coffee on her wasn't enough? God, why do I have to be such a  _klutz_? And  _why_  did it have to be her? It couldn't have been some douchebag who had it coming. Like Belle's old stalker, what's his face…Gaston? No, it had to be one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. I shake my head in self-pity as I finish my rounds.

"Nurse Christiansen, good to see you finally decided to show up."

I sigh. I should've known I wouldn't get away with being late. Again. Today is just not my day.

I turn and look down at the man talking to me. He pushes his glasses up his face, mustache twitching in annoyance. It's a miracle those things slide off his face in the first place with the how large the man's nose is.

"I apologize, Dr. Weasleton. I had a…bit of an accident this morning on my way to work." I say, putting on my best (fake) smile.

He merely glares at me, not buying my excuse at all. I suppose I'll have to tell him. Though, now that I think about it, it does sound kind of ridiculous. He probably wouldn't believe me. Damn.

"This is the fifth time this month you've come in late, Nurse Christiansen. Not to mention, you've already missed three days. It seems as if you don't really want this job anymore. Is that true? Because if it is, I can certainly arrange for your immediate…departure."

I shake my head in the negative.

He scratches at his screamingly obvious toupee, and continues. "Then I suggest you make it to work on time, Nurse Christiansen. This is your final warning. Come in late again, and I  _will_  fire you. Are we clear?" I nod my head, and mutter the affirmative. As he walks—no  _struts_  away—I resist the urge to stick out my tongue at him. Stupid Weasel.

 

*****line break*****

 

The rest of my day is just one big hot mess. After arriving late, I manage to drop several empty vials, the sound of glass shattering filling the halls. Right in front of Dr. Weasleton.

Later, as punishment for my tardiness, I get to "help" the new interns with the rectal exams.

Even better.

Finally, just as I'm about to head home, one of my patients, a young boy by the name of Chip, decides to vomit all over me.

Fan-freakin-tastic.

Finally, I can clock out. I run to the locker room and grab my clothes, throwing them in a bag to wash later. As I start to head out, I get a text from Kristoff.

**Kristoff:**   _Hey Red, you up for a few drinks before you head home?_

It doesn't surprise me that he has my schedule memorized. He  _is_ my best friend. I hesitate for a moment. I just want to go home and relax. But I haven't really seen Kristoff for the past few days. It's really not fair to him. I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose before replying.

**Anna:**   _Sure. Usual place?_

**Kristoff:**   _Sounds great! Ill meet you there._

I arrive at the bar a few moments before he does. I look up at the fading sign. 'Oaken's Grill and Bar.' I let a small smile grace my features. It's one of the only places that can still get me to do that. I go inside, not wanting to stand out in the cold as I wait for Kristoff.

"Yoo-hoo!" I hear the moment I walk through the door. "Anna! It's good to see you! It's been too long, ya?"

I smile at the owner of the voice. "Sorry Oaken. I've been pretty busy lately."

"Not a problem, Anna," he responds with his heavy Swedish accent. "You come by whenever ya?" I nod my head, still smiling.

"So you here by yourself?" he asks.

"No I'm meeting Kristoff. He's late."

"Oh, well in that case, why don't you find yourself a seat ya?"

I nod again, and make my way to my favorite booth. Kristoff arrives after a few minutes, and we discuss the day over a beer.

"And  _then,_  the stupid bear decides to wake up in the back of my truck! So there I am, driving with this thousand pound, killer animal rolling around in the bed of the truck, when all of a sudden, it just decides to jumps out! It was insane!" he finishes, flourishing his hands wildly. I force a smile at the story, not wanting to upset him.

"So…how was your day?" he asks.

I grimace, and tell him about running into the woman.

"Wait wait wait wait wait, you  _broke_  her  _nose_!? Like seriously!?"

I nod, still grimacing. He's quiet for a moment, before he busts up laughing. "Oh my God, that's fucking  _hilarious_! Way to go, Anna! Really. Fabulous job!"

I scowl at him as he wipes tears from his eyes.

"It's not funny Kristoff. I really hurt her!"

He just shakes his head, laughter still bubbling from his mouth. I growl, and finish off my beer before standing to leave. He immediately stops.

"Wait, Anna, don't go. I'm sorry I shouldn't've laughed," he says, trying to get me to stay.

I sigh and look at him.

"It's okay, Kristoff. But I really should be going. It's getting late, and I have the early shift again tomorrow."

He scowls, but nods, standing up as well.

"It was good to see you again, Anna," he says, pulling me into a tight hug. "Let's try not to be strangers anymore, huh?"

I nod into his warm embrace, before pulling away. We leave the bar and head our separate ways. And,  _finally_ , I'm standing at my door. I open it, and step inside, locking it up tight. I lean back against it, and sigh, letting the stress of the day flow out of me. I look around at my small, empty apartment. The old, hazardous looking couch, the sink full of unwashed dishes, the pile of dirty clothes. It's pretty depressing.

I push myself from the door, and head to the bathroom to take a long, well deserved bath. I undress, pulling my hair from its twin braids, and sink into the hot water. As I settle, I think again about the woman.

She really was incredibly gorgeous. I wonder why she's moving to New York. It's really nothing special. Though, it did look like she was moving into the better part of town. I wonder if she's, like, rich or something? I mean, her clothes were pretty expensive looking. I hope I didn't ruin them. The money I gave her will only cover the medical costs. But if she's rich, why was she taking a cab?

Ugh, I need to stop worrying about this. I'll probably never see her again anyways. I mean, what are the chances of that happening? Probably like a million to one.

I think back to how beautiful she was. And to how she was able to get me rambling again, despite the circumstances. I haven't rambled in a long time. I just haven't been passionate enough about anything to go full ramble. It's amazing that she got that reaction out of me, when recently the most I can manage is slight indifference. And I didn't even get her name

…I hope she'll be okay.


	3. Chapter two

Chapter 2

 

_But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell_

_I know right now you can't tell_

_But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see_

_A different side of me_

_-"Unwell"_

_Matchbox 20_

 

I wake up at noon. Today's my first day off in weeks. No work. No forcing myself out of bed. No Weasel breathing down my back. It's nice. I slowly sit up, stretching as I let out a loud, unattractive yawn. I feel great today. Better than I have in a long time. I should do something today.

Whoa. What? I haven't  _wanted_  to do anything for months. What the hell is wrong with me?

…obviously a lot if I think wanting to do something with my life is strange. Well, I guess I'm going out for the rest of the day. I'm not wasting this feeling. Who knows when I'll feel good again? I'm gonna milk the shit out of this.

I get out of bed and begin to get dressed. As I pull on my favorite pair of jeans and a faded Metallica t-shirt, my mind is, once again, filled with thoughts of a certain platinum blond. It's been a week now. I hope she's healing okay. I still feel like a complete ass. And I  _still_  can't believe I broke her nose. I don't think I'll ever live that down.

I wonder what she's doing right now. Is she sleeping? No it's the afternoon. She looked too high class to sleep so late. Wait, she's probably at work. It is a Tuesday after all. I wonder where she works. Does she even work? I wonder what her name is.

…God, even my thoughts ramble. I shake my head, trying to forget the mysterious woman. It's not like I'll ever see her again. I really need to let it go. I finish dressing, now slightly annoyed at myself for obsessing. I decide I don't feel like my signature braids, so I put my hair up in a sloppy ponytail. I leave my apartment, and start walking down the street, not really having any direction. It's a beautiful day, the warmest we've had in weeks. I enjoy the fact that I only need a sweatshirt for once.

What should I do today? Should I call Kristoff? No…he's at work right now. That means Sven is too. Plus I don't really feel like listening to their crazy stories today. What about Meg? Wait, she's out of town, visiting her in-laws. Damn. Hmmmm….

As I'm thinking, my feet take me where they will. Eventually I look up, and find myself standing in front of the coffee shop. I guess, subconsciously, I wanted caffeine. I look at the worn-down sign. The Rubber Duck. Why the hell did Punz name it that again?

…I wonder if she's working today. I suppose I can go inside and say hi. It'll at least give me time to think about what I want to do. And besides, I haven't  _really_  talked to Punz, I mean, not counting last week, in a while. I shrug. Who knows, could be fun.

I walk through the door. I look at the counter, hoping to see the familiar long blond hair of my friend. But I don't. Instead I see a tall, platinum blond woman. She's facing away from me, talking to whoever is running the register. Eugene, I think.

The woman is obviously loaded, her designer pen-suit a testament to her wealth. I wonder what the hell she's doing in this quaint little coffee shop. Or why's she's even on this side of town for that matter. I look up from her outfit, and notice something. Her hair done up in a very,  _very_  familiar French braid.

I freeze. Oh no. Oh God no. I quickly duck into the bathroom before I am seen. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! This cannot be happening. She's  _cannot_  be here. Not now. Not on the first good day I've had in  _ages_! Does the universe just hate me?

I can't let her see me. What if she's still mad? What if she wants to sue!? Fuck. I need to get out here…No…no I need to face this. I can't avoid it. It's my own fault. She has every right to be angry. Damn it, why do I have to be so freakin' noble?

All right Anna, you got this. You're ready. You were born ready. As I'm pumping myself up for the, inevitably, heated confrontation, I hear a toilet flush. I turn around, and see Rapunzel coming out of one of the stalls. She doesn't notice me standing by the door at first. She walks up to the sink, washes her hands, checks her hair, and turns to leave. Then she spots me.

"Anna?" she asks, clearly not believing her own eyes.

"H-hey Punz. Long time no see," I say, still freaking out about the woman outside.

"Anna!" she says as she lunges at me. All of a sudden I'm pulled into a tight hug, my arms pinned to my sides. I have no idea what's going on.

"Anna, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you! I was just worried is all! Please don't stop coming by again!" She's talking so quickly, I almost don't understand what she's saying.

I realize she's talking about the last time I was here. Still pinned, I awkwardly pat her back as she cries into my shoulder.

"It's okay Punz, I know you just want to help," I say, trying to sooth her. She pulls back, and looks up at me with watery green eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asks. I nod and put on a smile. She studies me for a moment.

"Great!" she says clapping her hands, a huge smile on her face, startling me with her sudden change in attitude.

Sometimes I forget how quickly this girl can switch emotions. It like she's two different people. I swear she's going to give me whiplash.

"So, shall we?" she says, pointing towards the door, her earlier distress all but forgotten.

The blond comes back to the forefront of my mind.

"Uh, maybe not." I say, twiddling my thumbs nervously.

She looks at me, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Why not?"

I wince. I could lie to her...Except I'm a terrible liar. Damn. Guess I'll just have to settle for the truth.

"You know the woman out there? The one with the platinum hair?" I ask timidly.

"You mean Elsa? Yea what about her?"

Elsa?

"Wait, how do you know her name? How many times has she been here?" I ask incredulous.

"Well…" she starts, "she's been coming in every day for the past week. Says she's looking for the person who broke her…" she stops, her eyes widening.

"Oh my God. Anna, you didn't!"

I flinch at her accusing tone.

"Yea…I kinda did…but it was a total accident okay! I wasn't looking where I was going and she just came out of nowhere! Not that it's her fault or anything, it's totally mine, but it's not like I did it on purpose or anything! But yea, she just appeared, and I  _kind of_  ran into her, and she was  _kind of_  pushed into a light pole. I've felt really bad about it for the last week, and now she's been looking for me, probably to sue me or something! How the hell did she even find me!? I—"

Rapunzel puts a finger to my mouth to stop the endless flow of words falling from my mouth. I look up at her in embarrassment, only to find her looking at me with a smile so big, there's no way her cheeks aren't sore.

"W-what?" I stammer.

"You're rambling, Anna," she says, still smiling.

I shrug, a small smile pulling at my lips. She hugs me again.

"It's good to see the old you." Her voice is muffled by my sweater.

So," she says, pulling back, obviously trying to hide the wetness in her eyes. "I think you need to go out there, and see what it is she wants."

I feel myself pale at the thought, but I nod my head. Rapunzel notices my discomfort.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down. It'll be okay. I really don't think she's going to sue you, Anna. I don't even think she's still mad. She seems like she just wants to talk. I've spoken with her a few times. She's really nice, you know. She doesn't seem like the grudge holding type, though you really did do a number on her."

I doubt that. I let Rapunzel lead me out of the bathroom. As we approach the counter, she calls out to the woman.

"Hey Elsa! I think I found your girl!"

The blond turns around, and I wince, fire burning in my cheeks. She looks terrible. My eyes graze over the small brace on her nose, and I feel even worse about the situation. I was absolutely right when I thought she would have two shiners. Despite her attempts to cover them, they stood out, bright as day. Black and blue testaments to the horror I, Anna Christiansen, put her through. I'm  _so_  getting sued.

Rapunzel pulls me right up to Elsa, placing me in front of the goddess.

"Here ya go! Have fun you two!" she says before disappearing into the kitchen.

After she leaves, the room is filled with an awkward silence the likes of which I have never known. I look at my feet. Elsa is the first one to break it.

"Hello."

That voice. Dear God, that amazing voice. How did I not notice it before? Angels could sing praises about that beautiful sound…Damn, you really are obsessed.

I glance up at those gorgeous blue eyes. There's no anger in them. No hatred. Only kindness, and…curiosity? Why would she be curious about me? I'm nothing special. It's then I notice that she's smiling—well more like smirking—at me. Maybe she's really not mad anymore. Maybe I'm not getting sued after all. I mentally sigh in relief.

"Uh, h-hi." I respond. "So…this is really awkward…N-not that you're awkward! I'm awkward. You're gorgeous. Wait. What?"

I face-palm. Way to freak her out Anna. I look through my fingers, completely embarrassed, only to see her smile widen, a faint blush coating her features as she extends a small, pale hand.

"Elsa." she says.

Strait to the point I see. I take her hand, flinching a little at the contact. God her hands are cold.

"Anna."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Anna," she says. "Formally, of course. I was wondering if I was ever going to."

She gives my hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"Um, y-yea, it's…it's good to meet you too?" I say, unsure where this little meeting is going.

"You know, you're a very difficult person to find, Anna. I've been here every day for the past week, and this is the first time you've been in. I almost gave up." she says.

Almost. But you didn't. Why?

"Why?"

She looks startled. Guess she wasn't expecting that.

"Well, u-um, I wanted t-to, thank you. For setting my nose the other day," she stammers. "M-my doctor said if I had waited, it wouldn't have healed strait."

That's it? She's been coming here for a week…to  _thank me?_ Not uh. Not gonna happen.

"No no no no no!" I say quickly, shaking my head, my sudden outburst startling her. "You shouldn't be thanking me! If anything, you should be yelling at me! I mean, the fact that I'm a complete klutz is the reason your nose had to be set in the first place! I was just doing what anyone else would've done."

She's looking at me with that strange expression again.

"Either way," she says, "You still helped afterwards. Despite what you may think, not many people would have done so. So thank you."

I look at her for a moment. She looks absolutely determined to thank me…And she did come all this way…for a  _week_  to do it. I'm not going to win this battle, am I? Sigh.

"Um, y-you're welcome." I say, twiddling my fingers again.

She's smiling again. It is only a small one, just pulling at the corners of her mouth. It's beautiful. I like how her lips do this thing where one side hitches up farther than the other. It's really cute. Wait. What?

"Uh-hum," she coughs, bringing me back to reality.

I look up, and notice another blush. She caught me staring. Again. How embarrassing.

"There's another reason I wanted to find you, Anna," she says, reaching into her designer purse, ignoring the fact that I was just ogling her.

She pulls out a few crumpled bills.

"I wanted to give you this back. I really don't need it, my insurance covered the medical costs."

She extends her hand, offering me the money. No. No way. She can't thank me  _and_ not let me pay for the damages. This just won't do.

"Keep it," I say.

She looks confused.

"But, I just said-"

"No," I say, cutting her off. "I hurt you. Pretty badly. The least I can do is pay for it. And," I put up my hand to stop her retort, "if the bills are already covered, then use it to replace the clothes I no doubt destroyed. Or to buy a new hand bag. Or whatever you want to do with it. Either way, you're keeping the money."

Her eyes narrow, but she nods and returns the money to her bag without further argument. I nod in approval. A thought comes to my mind.

"Hey, h-how…how did you find me, anyways?" I ask.

Elsa smirks. She picks up her drink and points to the picture on the front of the cup.

"You left your cup when you ran off," she says. "It doesn't take a detective to find the only coffee shop in New York with a rubber duck as its logo."

I open my mouth to retort, but my phone starts to ring. I pull it out and check the screen. Aurora. Oh no you don't. Not on my day off. I should just not answer it…Oh who am I kidding? I sigh and bring the phone to my ear.

"Sorry," I mouth to Elsa. She shakes her head and motions for me to continue.

"Hello?"

" _Anna! Hey it's Philip."_

What, is she too good to call me herself? Bitch.

"Hi Philip. What can I do ya for?"

" _Well I'm kind of calling as a favor for Aurora…"_

No kidding.

" _You see she's kind of…maybe…a little…hung over. I can't seem to wake her up. And her shift starts in like an hour…so I was wondering if you could maybe…cover for her? So she won't get fired? I know it's your day off and all, but you know how Dr. Weasleton is. If she misses again, she'll lose her job."_

Seriously? This is the third time in two months! And it's not like I get very many days off as it is! I'm not doing it. I'm not!

…Shit. I'm so doing it, aren't I?

"Philip…ugh, yea, fine. But she owes me big. Like mountain of chocolates big. Like dinner at a five star restaurant big," I say, pinching the bridge of my nose.

I really need to learn how to say no.

" _Really? Oh man thanks Anna! You're the best."_

I smile. I really do like Philip. He's actually really nice. How he ended up with someone like Aurora gets me.

"Yea, yea. I'm a freakin' saint. Look, I gotta go get ready, so I'll talk to you later. Bye." I hang up and look back at Elsa.

"So, um, I have to cover a shift for a…friend…and it starts pretty soon, and it's kind of a long walk, so I should get going…" I say, rubbing the back of my head awkwardly.

She nods her head in understanding, but I catch a hint of  _something_  in her eyes. Was it…disappointment? I must be seeing things. We stand there awkwardly for a few more seconds before I start towards the door.

"Wait!" she exclaims, startling me with her sudden outburst.

I turn and look at her. She looks embarrassed for a moment, but seems to gather herself as she walks over to me.

"It was really nice to meet you, Anna," she says, a smile on her face. "I would like to see you again…when we have more time of course. Perhaps you would allow me to buy you lunch sometime? As a  _real_  thank you? I did just come into some money recently after all."

She winks at me. Is…Is she… _teasing_  me?

…

Wait. Did she just ask me out on a  _date?_ My mind goes blank for a second.

"As…as in a date?" I ask, still not sure I heard right.

I've never seen someone turn so red so fast before.

"N-no, of course not!" she stammers.

I frown. Of course I would jump to conclusions. She notices my expression.

"N-not that I wouldn't want to date you! I'm sure you're a lovely woman and all…It's just…what I meant was w-we could go as friends and…" she stops talking and looks at me incredulously.

I'm on the floor. Laughing. No, I'm  _dying_. I literally cannot breathe. That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. And I thought I was the only one who rambled. Now she's just staring at me with that same strange expression, while I make a fool out of myself, tears coming down my face.

"I'm sorry Elsa," I say, finally regaining some composer. "I just, I've never met anyone who rambled like me. I would love to have lunch with you."

She looks surprised at my answer for a moment, before smiling again, this one her biggest yet.

"Great," she says.

She reaches into her purse, and pulls out a business card. She hands it to me.

"Let me know the next time your free," she says.

Before I can say a word, she strolls past me out the door. I stand there for a few moments, looking at the card in my hand.

"Elsa Arendelle," I read aloud.

Now where have I heard that name before?

 

*****line break*****

 

"You broke  _Elsa_   _Arendelle's_  nose!?" screeches Snow, startling some of the patients.

"Shhhhh!" I say, not wanting to broadcast my failures to the whole world.

"Anna! She's, like, one of the richest women in the world! Her family owns like half of the industries in the US!" Cinderella whispers—well, tries to whisper.

"I know! As if it wasn't bad enough that I broke some random woman's nose! No, it had to be some world-famous billionaire!" I say, still freaking out about the whole situation.

I still haven't told them about her inviting me to lunch. Man, are they going to have a field day.

" _What!?"_  shouts Snow. It feels like whole hospital is staring at us.

"Sorry," she says, and they all continue what they are doing.

I shake my head.

"So, you're saying that you broke Elsa Arendelle's nose, bruised her billion dollar face, and she invited you to lunch? Just like that?" asks Cinderella.

"…Yea…" I say, unsure what she's getting at.

Her and Snow look at each other, then back at me. Suddenly, they both squeal.

"Oh. My. God! She totally has a crush on you!" gushes Cinderella.

"Anna has a date with a billionaire!" fawns Snow.

"What!? No, I don't!" I say, a little too quickly.

They both look at me, clearly not believing a word I say. They're hopeless.

"Anna, she obviously wants to date you. I mean, do you really believe she looked for you for a  _week_  just to tell 'thank you' for setting her nose, when you were the one to break it in the first place?" says Snow.

"Um, yea?" I say.

She smacks me upside the head. Hard.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!?"

"For being a complete idiot! Honestly Anna, sometimes you're blind as a bat," she says.

I grumble and walk away, rubbing the back of my head. They're such idiots. There's no way it's a date. She even said so herself. It's just lunch with a friend…a billionaire friend…who is extremely gorgeous…and who did spend a week looking for a complete stranger…

I shake my head. No. I'm not gonna let those two get inside my head. I mean, why would she want to date me anyways? It's not like I'm anything special. I'm just me. No. It's not a date. Definitely not a date.

…Yea, you keep telling yourself that, Anna.

 


	4. Chapter three

Chapter 3

 

_I'm not the same as yesterday, Ooh..._

_It's hard to explain how things have changed,_

_But I'm not the same as before._

_-"E for Extinction"_

_Thousand Foot Krutch_

 

I look down at the card in my hand. I read it again for the millionth time, even though I've already memorized the information. I want to call her, I do. But then I don't. What if she doesn't answer? What if she doesn't remember me? What if she does?

…

What if she changed her mind?

I mean, why would someone like her want to date me? Or even have a meal with me? I'm beneath her.

"Ugh," I flop down on the bed in the on-call room.

"Huh? What?" says Aurora, my out-burst waking her from her nap.

"Sorry," I say.

Not really.

"Just call her already," says Cinderella.

I shoot her a glare.

"And say what? 'Hi! Remember me? The girl who broke your nose? Sorry I haven't called in three days, I've just been having my own mini crisis over the fact that a gorgeous billionaire invited me to lunch. A lunch which, by the way, may or may not be a date'?" I say, exasperated.

She shakes her head at me. "You're such a drama queen."

"Just say you've been busy with work," yawns Aurora, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I mean, it's not a lie."

She's right. I  _have_  been pretty busy lately, thanks to a certain Weasel. Man I wish he'd get off my back. But that's not the real reason I haven't. Truth is? I'm a coward. I continue to stare at the card, not moving from my spot on the bed.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" says Snow suddenly, grabbing the card from my hand.

"Hey! Give that back!" I yell, as I lunge for her.

She shrieks and tries to escape as I chase her around the room. Out of nowhere, I'm tackled.

"Oof!" I look up to see both Cinderella and Aurora sitting on top of me, pinning me to the ground.

"Get off!" I grunt, struggling against their combined weight.

It doesn't do much good.

"Do it Snow!" yells Cinderella over my frustrated grunts.

"This is for your own good Anna!" says Aurora.

As I try to get out from under the two women, I hear Snow talking to someone.

"Hello, is this Ms. Arendelle's number?"

No. Oh no. She didn't. She wouldn't.

…

She did! That bitch!

"What're you doing!?" I hiss, struggling even harder.

Cinderella just clamps a hand over my mouth. Snow smirks at me, and continues.

"Oh good! Well I'm calling on behalf of my friend Anna. She said Ms. Arendelle had invited her to lunch?" she paused to let the person on the other line respond. She raises an eyebrow at whatever it is they say.

"Oh really? Well that's great, because Anna is free tomorrow around noon. M-hmm. Tiana's Place? 12:30? Sounds great, I'll be sure to let her know. Yes it's A-n-n-a C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-s-e-n. Okay. Thank you! Bye." She hangs up the phone, a look of triumph on her face.

I'm still pinned, Cinderella's hand over my face. I lick it.

"Ew! Anna! What the hell!?" she shrieks, pulling back.

I use her momentum to finally throw the two girls off. They land on the floor with a collected "Oof," as I lunge for Snow. She looks up just in time to see me tackle her. We struggle on the ground for a few seconds, before I come up victorious, holding the card in my hand.

"What the hell Snow!?" I turn on her, standing over her prone form.

"Well you weren't going to do it yourself! As far as I see it, I did you a favor. And did you  _really_  have to tackle me? I mean really, what are we, five?" she grumbles, picking herself up and rubbing her rear.

I scowl at her comment. Look who's talking.

"Besides," she continues, oblivious to my glare, "the receptionist said she's been expecting a call from an Anna for a few days now. She said, and I quote, 'Ms. Arendelle has been quite dejected upon not receiving a call from Ms. Anna. This will definitely lift her spirits!'" she mimics, using a ridiculous English accent.

"That doesn't mean you can just—wait what? She's was expecting a call? From me?"

Snow snickers at my astonishment.

"See?" Cinderella says from the floor. "You had nothing to worry about! And Aurora can cover for you tomorrow, seeing as she still owes you one."

"More than  _one_ " I mutter.

Surprisingly, Aurora nods in agreement. But that doesn't change anything.

"Nothing to worry about? Cindy, I'm going to a five star restaurant! With a  _billionaire!_  I think I have a whole hell of a lot to worry about!" I yell dramatically.

She just shakes her head at me.

"Oh my God." I say, "Oh my God! I'm having lunch with Elsa Arendelle!  _Elsa-freakin'-Arendelle!_ At a  _five star restaurant!_  What do I do? What do I say!?"

…

"What do I  _wear!?"_

"Anna! Anna calm down!" shouts Snow, grabbing my collar.

I start to respond, when the door suddenly opens, revealing a familiar toupee. Dr. Weasleton takes in the scene with an unamused look. Cinderella and Aurora are on the ground, still trying to untangle themselves, Snow is holding me up by my collar, and I'm having a miniature panic attack. We look like the aftermath of a WWE match.

"This isn't a wrestling ring ladies," he sneers. "I suggest you don't treat it like one."

The four of us struggle to collect ourselves under his judging glare.

"Nurse Christiansen," he says, turning to me. "Mr. Chip has come back in with another stomach ache. Please see to it that he is taken care of."

With that, he turns and walks away. I stare after the door in disbelief. It's quiet for moment, when suddenly the three women bust out laughing as I let out dejected groan. Seriously!?

"Oh man, bad luck Anna! Hope you have a clean pair of scrubs!" cackles Snow, holding her stomach, tears coming down her face.

"Why is it  _always_  me?" I groan.

"I swear that kid is vomit machine! Have fun girl!" laughs Aurora

I scowl and stomp to the exit.

"I hate you all," I growl, earning another bout of laughter as I slam the door shut behind me.

What am I going to do with them?

 

*****line break*****

 

" _Eeeeeeee!"_

I pull the phone away from my ear as Rapunzel screeches. I swear she's as bad as the others.

" _OMG Anna! This is so **cool**! Who would've thought Elsa Arendelle would come to my coffee shop! Oh my God, I have to post this on Twitter. And Facebook and—"_

"Rapunzel!" I yell, cutting her off. "You're kind of missing the point here!"

" _Oh calm down Anna; it's just lunch."_  She responds.

I roll my eyes. I'm not the one who was going to blow up Facebook because someone famous came into my shop.

"Punz, it's not just lunch! What if I can't find anything to wear? What if I make a complete fool of myself? What if—"

Now it's her turn to cut me off.

" _Anna!"_  she yells.  _"You'll be fine. Just be yourself. And just don't freak out, or you'll end up doing something stupid, like—"_

"Like breaking her nose?" I deadpan.

" _Yea! Wait…no…you…Damn it, Anna! Now you're the one missing the point! She obviously likes you, so quit stressing! And if you really need something to wear, you know you can always borrow stuff from me."_

I sigh. She's probably right. I sit down on my bed.

"You're right, Punz, as always."

I smile. "Thanks."

" _No prob! It's what friends are for, right? Hey, I gotta go, my break's over, and you know I can't leave Eugene alone with the cash register for long. I'll call you later, 'kay?"_

"Yea, talk to ya later Punz. Bye."

I hang up and flop back. I think about tomorrow. I have a lunch date—well at least lunch—with Elsa Arendelle, billionaire extraordinaire. Fuck. Okay, breathe. You heard Rapunzel, don't freak out. You can do this, Anna. You got this. I mean, it's just lunch right?

Right?

…

 

*****line break*****

 

It's 12:25 I'm standing outside Tiana's Place. I don't know what I'm doing. Is there a reservation? Do I go in? Do I wait for her here? I pull at the neck of my sweatshirt. Sigh. Maybe I'll just go in. I mean, they would know if she's coming, right?

Just as I'm about to walk in, a stunning white limousine pulls up in front of the restaurant. As soon as it stops, a valet runs up and opens the door, and out steps Ms. Elsa Arendelle herself.

She's not wearing anything fancy, just her usual—or what I assume is her usual—pen-suit. But she's still absolutely stunning. And I feel completely underdressed. Damn. I knew I should've worn that stupid dress.

She looks up at me. I notice her brace is gone, and the bruises are (finally) starting to fade. Thank God.

"Anna!" she smiles "It's good to see you again! I was afraid I'd miss you. I do apologize for being late. My chauffer decided to take a wrong turn," she turns to give her driver an ice cold glare.

Late? I look at my watch. 12:30 on the dot. I shake my head and smile.

"It's okay," I say, not wanting her driver to get in any more trouble. "I just arrived myself."

She looks back at me, and smiles again.

"I'm glad to hear that. Shall we?" She gestures to the doors.

"O-oh yea! Of course!" I stutter.

She smiles, and we head inside. Don't freak out, Anna. Just play it cool. We walk through the doors, and my jaw dropped to the floor.

"This place is  _amazing!_ " I say, the second we clear the door.

So much for playing it cool

"Look at the chandeliers! And the table cloths and—oh my god, the waiters are dressed like freakin' butlers!"

Elsa laughs, but I'm so excited, I don't care. Cinderella was right. I have nothing to worry about. Elsa smiles at me as we approach the podium.

"How can I help y—oh Ms. Arendelle!" says the host, looking up. "We have your reservation for two ready. Right this way."

He leads us to a booth near the back of the restaurant. A private table! I get to sit at a  _private table_! With  _Elsa Arendelle!_ My life is awesome.

"I'll just leave you ladies to look over the menu," he says.

And just like that, Elsa and I are alone.

"So, you've never been here before?" says Elsa, breaking the silence.

Is it really that obvious?

"N-no, I could never afford to eat at a place like this! This is awesome!" I exclaim, a huge smile plastered on my face.

Elsa smiles.

"I take it you're impressed then?" she chuckles, as I nod my head enthusiastically.

"Hell yea!" I say, earning another chuckle. "I mean this place is almost as gorgeous as you are."

I freeze. Did I just? Oh God I did. Way to go, Anna. Smooth.

"Yes, well it's nothing compared to you," I hear, and my mind fizzles out for a few seconds.

Did…did she just...call me gorgeous? I look up in time to see an astonished look cross Elsa's face, a blush bright on her cheeks. Evidently, she didn't mean to say that out loud. She ducks her head in slight embarrassment. Thankfully the waiter comes by at that moment, and takes our orders, Elsa's being a salad, and mine being some kind of gourmet sandwich. Boy do I love me a good sandwich.

"So, how long have you been a nurse, Anna?" she asks, clearly trying to break the tension from earlier.

"Well," I start, glad for the change in subject, "I was hired almost right out of college, so just about two years."

"So you're around twenty-four then?" asks Elsa.

"Uh, y-yea, just turned a few months ago," I stammer, surprised by her sudden change of topic.

She nods her head, still smiling.

"What about you?" I ask before I can control my mouth.

She looks at me, clearly amused.

"Don't you know to never ask a woman her age?" she teases.

I blush slightly, and start to answer, but she cuts me off.

"I'm twenty-seven," she says with a smirk.

I stick my tongue out at her, and she giggles quietly behind her hand.

So she's three years older than me? Who would've thought? She looks so young.

"So why did you decide to go into the medical field?" she asks, taking a drink.

"Well, I've just always enjoyed the whole laying of hands thing, ya know? I love watching people feel better because of my touch," I reply, playing with my utensils.

Elsa coughs into her glass, and I look up to see her turn scarlet. I realize what I just said. Oh God.

"I-I didn't…w-what I meant was…oh my God…" I hide my face in embarrassment.

It's quiet for a moment, then I hear it. I look up and see Elsa laughing. Well, more like trying not to. She has both hands over her mouth, and her shoulders are shaking from the force of her barely contained laughter, her face still bright red. I start giggling as well, and we fall apart.

Soon we're both holding our abs in pain as tears roll down our faces. I just about die when Elsa snorts. It's so adorable! And it was so unexpected. Elsa clamps her hand over her mouth in horror, as I fall into another round of laughter. Finally, we are able to collect ourselves.

"So, what do you do?" I ask, still chuckling. "I know you're famous and a billionaire and all, but not much else."

Elsa stops laughing. I've never seen someone turn so uncomfortable so fast.

"Oh, well…My father is…training me…to take over his company," she says, fidgeting in her seat.

She looks down at her plate. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it. But that doesn't stop me from asking anyways.

"Take over? As in…You'll be the CEO of Arendelle Corporation?"

She nods, eyes still downcast. I can tell she's not too happy about the situation. Damn it, Anna. Learn some freaking tact.

"Is…is that what  _you_  want?" I ask, hoping I'm not overstepping my bounds.

She looks up at me with a guarded expression.

"I want whatever my father wants," she says coldly.

I blink, surprised at her sudden change in tone. She's obviously surprised as well.

"I-I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't mean to snap at you," she says, guilt plain on her face. "I've just been asked that by rival companies since I was a little girl. They're constantly trying to break up my father's company, and the best way to do that is to eliminate the heir. They're all just jealous old fools," she says, scowling at her plate.

Wow. I guess her job is off-limits then?

"That…that's okay Elsa. I didn't know it was a touchy subject, or I wouldn't've asked." I say, smiling at her to show her I wasn't upset.

She looks up at me shyly, before returning the smile.

"So," I say, "jobs are obviously dangerous territory. What else can we talk about?"

She chuckles at my joke, looking relieved that we dropped the subject. As we finish our lunch, I learn her favorite color is blue, and that she plays the piano. She learns my favorite season is summer, though I do love building snowmen. Soon the waiter returns with the dessert tray.

"What's that amazing smell?" Elsa asks as he approaches.

We both sniff the air.

"Mhmm, Chocolate!" we both say before we dissolve into giggles.

We both order the chocolate cake, and he brings out two slices the size of a small country. It's the best cake I've ever had. Now full, I lean back in my seat with a content sigh. Elsa chuckles at me before standing and offering me a hand. I take it and she pulls me up with surprising strength. She leaves the money on the table and leads me out of the restaurant. This is the best lunch/date ever!

As we approach the entry, I see the valet bring the limousine around, and a feeling I can't quite place fills my chest. Is it…disappointment? Yes. Yes it is. Because I don't want this…whatever this is…to end quite yet. Because this is the best I've felt in a long time, and I know as soon as we part, that feeling of emptiness I've been fighting for months will swoop down on me.

Elsa seems to feel the same.

"So…did you drive or…?" she asks, somewhat awkwardly.

"Um, no, I, uh, walked here," I say, flinching slightly at the look she gives me.

"Walked!? Anna, you must be joking, it's freezing out here!" she exclaims.

"It's not that bad…" I mumble, even though we both know it's not true. It's easily below freezing.

She raises an eyebrow at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards her vehicle.

"W-what are you doing?" I ask as she drags me along.

"Giving you a ride," she says simply.

_What?_

"N-no that's fine, really! I can just take a cab," I try to refuse.

"Nonsense. I can give you a ride, Anna. It's no big deal," she refutes.

Wrong. It's a huge deal. But she doesn't give me a choice as she all but shoves me in the door, before sliding in beside me. I gather myself and look around. The inside is  _huge_! I knew limos were luxurious and all, but this is ridiculous! I mean, there's a flippin' television! Who even needs that!? Elsa laughs at my look of awe. She pokes me slightly to get my attention.

"What's your address?" she asks with a smile.

I give it to her, still in a bit of a daze. She relays it to her driver, and we are off. The first few minutes are filled with silence except for my occasional ooh's and ahh's. Suddenly, there's a pale hand under my nose, palm up. I look over at Elsa questionably.

"Phone," she says.

I hand her the device and she types a number into it, before taking a picture of herself. She presses call, and I hear a vibration from her phone. She picks it up, and takes a quick, and very unflattering, picture of me.

"There," she says handing my phone back to me. "Now you have my personal number, and I have yours."

She smiles at me as I look at her dumbfounded. I have her personal number. I have  _Elsa's_  personal number. _And_  her picture. Pinch me, I must be dreaming. All too soon, we pull up to my apartment.

"I-I guess this is it then." I say, rubbing the back of my head.

"I guess so," she replies, looking down at her hands.

As I go to open the door, I feel a cool hand on my forearm.

I look up to see Elsa smiling softly at me.

"I had a lot of fun today Anna," she says, squeezing my arm. "I would really like to do it again?"

I find myself nodding before she even finishes her sentence.

"Great," she says, her smile widening. "How about next week? Same time? Only I'll be picking you up. I don't want you to catch a cold from walking around in this weather."

"Okay," I chuckle. She releases my arm and I exit the limo.

I wave goodbye, and watch as the vehicle pulls away, and I swear I see a pair of bright blue eyes watching me until it turns a corner. I slowly walk up the three flights of stairs to my door, a smile on my face the whole way. Because for the first time in forever…

I don't feel alone.


	5. Chapter four

Chapter 4

 

_Don't look to close, its dark inside_

_It's where my Demons hide_

_It's where my Demons hide._

_-"Demons"_

_Imagine Dragons_

 

I'm angry. No, I'm beyond angry. I'm furious. I'm a seething, red, fiery ball of furry and hate. And two men—no two  _boys_ —are the source. Sven and Kristoff back into a corner, hands up in surrender as they try to hide my phone behind their backs.

"Give. It. Back." I hiss through clenched teeth.

"Calm down, Anna!" snickers Sven.

"It's just a stupid text," chuckles Kristoff.

I growl in response. I can't believe them. Really, they're unbelievable. Fucking children, I swear.

"Seriously, Anna…calm down," says Kristoff, a worried look on his face, his back against the wall.

I glare at him with all the anger I can muster, before I snarl and lunge. The shrill scream that comes from Kristoff's mouth normally would've sent me into a fit of hysterics, but right now all I care about is getting my phone back. I need to undo whatever damage they have done.

After a small scuffle—ending with Sven and Kristoff bruised and battered—I am able to retrieve my prize. I quickly unlock it and look at the infamous text. I groan.

**Anna:** _I don't know if I'm elated or gassy, but you've put me somewhere in that zone._

God, they can't even send an embarrassing text message right. Idiots. I'm surrounded by freakin' idiots. I quickly type up an apology, but before I can send it, my phone lights up with her response.

**Elsa:** _Really? That's the best your friends can come up with? I've gotten more offending texts from my grandfather._

I laugh. Burn. I quickly respond.

**Anna:** _Sadly, yes. They're a couple of real geniuses, those two. -.-_

**Elsa:** _Obviously lol. Hey I have to go, I have a meeting soon. I'll see you Thursday?_

**Anna:** _Of course :)_

I smile and put my phone away. Thank God she wasn't offended. I would've killed them. I turn to my so called "friends."

"Seriously!? What the actual fuck!?" I yell.

"What did she say? Did she know it wasn't you?" says Sven excitedly, ignoring me.

"Of course she knew it wasn't me! You guys couldn't be embarrassing if your lives depended on it. She said she got more offending texts from her grandfather. I mean, seriously, 'elated or gassy'? What are you, fourteen?" I say.

Sven pouts.

"Damn, guess we'll have to try harder next time," says Kristoff as he dusts himself off.

I narrow my eyes at him.

"Don't you _even_  think about it. You're lucky I don't kick your ass for this!" I snarl, jabbing a finger at him.

He puts his hands up in mock surrender.

"Whoa, calm down there, feisty pants. It was just a joke. I didn't think you'd take this little crush so seriously."

I don't think I've ever blushed so violently.

"W-what crush? I d-don't have a c-crush on E-Elsa." I sputter.

Yeah. Real convincing. Kristoff gives me his 'I don't buy it' look, and a glare at him.

"I don't! She's…she's just a good friend!" I say, a little more confidently.

"Oh really?" smirks Kristoff. "As 'just friends' would you know what her middle name is?"

"Lucile, why—

"Favorite color?"

"Blue, but—"

"Favorite food?"

"Chocolate—"

"Best friends name?"

"Probably Jane?"

"Eye color?"

"Dreamy…"

…

Damn. Kristoff busts out laughing. I flip him the bird, my cheeks burning.

"Smooth, Anna," chuckles Sven.

"Shut up," I growl.

"All right, all right, leave 'er be," I hear from behind me.

I turn around, and am assaulted by the curly red mane that is Merida. She throws her arm over me before glaring at the two men.

"Ye had yer fun, now git back to work, 'for I fire yer arses."

Though they know she's teasing them, Kristoff and Sven quickly hop in their truck with a collective "Aye, aye boss!"

We watch them drive away for a few seconds, and I turn to Merida.

"Thanks," I say, slipping out from under her arm.

"No problem, lass. Those two don't know when ta quit sometimes," She replies.

I look down at my watch. Shit, I was supposed to meet Rapunzel, like, twenty minutes ago. Damn those two and their "jokes."

"I gotta run Mer, I'll stop by again later, but I have plans with Punz," I say as I leave.

She smiles and nods her head. "See ye later then."

I take off running towards the exit.

"Thanks again!" I yell over my shoulder.

I meet Rapunzel at the Rubber Duck. She's talking with someone inside as I walk in. Is she sitting with—is that  _Eugene?_ Rapunzel sees me, and quickly stands up, her face pink.

"I-it was nice to talk with you Eugene," she stammers, before grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

"Wha—"I say, as she just about yanks my arm out of the socket.

We exit the coffee shop, and she pulls me down the street.

"Rapunzel, slow down!" I shout.

She stops suddenly, dropping my arm in the process, and I almost run her over.

"What the hell Punz?" I say, rubbing my arm.

Damn that girl's strong.

"Sorry," she says, looking anything but.

"Sure you are," I mumble. "So what was all that? Why were you talking to Eugene?"

She turns so red, she looks like a tomato with hair.

"N-nothing. What, two co-workers can't talk?" she stutters.

Not-uh. I don't buy it.

"Well yeah, but usually said co-workers don't turn bright red when they get caught," I tease. "Unless of course, one of them has a crush."

Rapunzel turns to glower at me.

"Oh shut up, Anna," she pouts. "Like you're one to talk."

I laugh but drop the subject. For now. We walk a few blocks before she speaks again.

"So," she says "how are things going with Elsa?"

I chose to ignore fact that she is obviously trying to change topics.

"It's….going?" I say.

She raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug.

"I just…I don't know. It's fun hanging out with her and all…but that's all I feel that we're doing. Hanging out. It's like, are we friends? Are we dating? Does she even like me? Like,  _like me,_ like me? I mean, sometimes it's almost like she's flirting, but...It's been three weeks, and I know  _I_ like her, I just don't know if this is going anywhere."

Rapunzel looks at me.

"Well, why don't you just ask?" she says.

"W-what? I can't do that! What if she just wants to be friends? What if I offend her? What if—"I exclaim.

"Oh don't be such a drama queen, Anna. You're both adults. I'm sure you can handle this like one," she says flabbergasted.

"But…what if I ruin this?" I say in a small voice. "I mean, yea this is frustrating not knowing what  _this_  is…but it's still nice, ya know? Talking with someone who doesn't know about my…well…you know." I duck my head in shame.

Rapunzel stops walking, forcing me to stop as well.

"Anna, depression is nothing to be ashamed of," she says sternly, but not unkindly.

"It is if you have nothing to be depressed about," I mumble, not meeting her gaze.

She sighs and lifts my chin, forcing me to look at her.

"Anna, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You have  _nothing_  to be ashamed of. So you're going through a rough patch. It'll pass. I know you. You're going to be just fine. Okay?"

I nod, still unconvinced.

"And so what if she knows? If she can't handle you,  _all_  of you, then she doesn't deserve you," she says.

I offer her a small smile. "Thanks Punz."

She smiles at me, then turns and continues walking. I follow, eyes on the ground.

"So," says Rapunzel, dropping the subject—much to my relief, "are you going to ask her?"

"I…I don't know Punz. I just don't know." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"You're not going to ruin anything, Anna. I really do think she likes you. I mean who goes to a coffee shop for a week to find a girl they don't even know? Maybe she's just shy?" she says.

"Yeah, I guess." I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

We walk for a few more blocks in silence, as I think about my next lunch with Elsa. Maybe I will ask her. Maybe it'll be better knowing…Or maybe it'll just blow up in my face. I guess there's only one way to find out.

 

*****line break*****

 

It's a bad day. I know from the second I wake up. As soon as I open my eyes, I feel this oppressive weight crash down on me, taking every ounce of happiness and light with it. I feel tears prick at my eyes, and I curl up into a ball on my bed, trying to keep out the wall of darkness surrounding me.

I manage to pull myself together long enough to text Snow to cover for me. There's no way I'm going to work. Not today. Not like this. I wouldn't last five minutes. My phone lights up with her response, but I don't look at it. I know she'll do it. She's not the kind of person to just leave someone hanging. But that won't stop her from blowing up my phone with questions.

It's a long day. A very long day. I cry a lot. I try not to. I hate crying, even when there's no one else around. I hate feeling weak. But I once I start, I can't seem to stop. I can't seem to escape this…this emptiness. The tears seem to fall endlessly, and no amount of willpower can stop them.

I hardly eat anything. I just can't bring myself to feel hungry. I can't seem to feel anything but pain. And sadness.

I think about killing myself. I'm ashamed that the thought crosses my mind, but it's there nonetheless. I'm ashamed that I'm too much of a coward to act on it. I mean, who would care? My friends? My family? Co-workers? No. They would be relieved. Relieved that they don't have to deal with depressed Anna all the time. Relieved that I'm no longer a problem. I wish I was strong enough to do it. But I'm not. So I just lie there.

After a few hours, I notice my phone light up with another text. I ignore it. Again. It's probably just Snow. She hates being ignored. A few minutes later, the phone starts to ring. I let it go to voicemail. I'm not talking to anyone today. The phone goes silent, then rings again.

Now I'm annoyed. Can't she tell that I just want to be left alone? I mean, I've ignored her all day. What makes her think this time will be any different? When it starts to ring a third time, I'm angry enough to get up. I grab my phone, and turn it off without looking at the caller ID. That'll show her.

I crawl back into bed, intent on sleeping. It's the only thing that seems to give me a break from this feeling of emptiness. Just as I start to fall out of consciousness, I hear a light tapping. At my door.

What. The. Fuck. Like seriously? I grumble as I get out of bed and head to the door. I mean, who does she think she is!? It's not like we're the best of friends or anything. I don't even really like her all that much. I just work with her for Christ's sake!

…Okay that was a little mean, but I'm really not in the state of mind to care.

I reach my door and fling it open with every intention of giving Snow a piece of my mind. But it wasn't Snow. My eyes widen as I take in the familiar platinum blond hair, fair skin, and blue eyes.

"E-Elsa! W-what're you doing here?"

She takes in my appearance, an unreadable expression on her face. The sleep shorts and ratty t-shirt. The frizzy mane of hair. The eyes, red and puffy from crying all day. I'm sure I look terrible.

"Uh-hum…It's, um, Thursday. I'm here to pick you up for lunch?" she says uncertainly.

Thursday?

…

Oh no. I look at the oven clock. **1:15PM**. Shit. Seeing as Elsa is compulsively early, she must have been waiting for over an hour. If I felt terrible before, it's nothing to how I feel now. God I'm such a fuck-up.

"Elsa, I'm s-so s-sor…" I start to apologize, but I don't make it more than a few words, before I break down into tears.

I can't believe I forgot about lunch. The one thing I look forward to all week. I'm so fucking useless. I can't do anything right. Elsa looks startled by my sudden tears, but it immediately changes to worry.

"Anna," she says, putting her hands on my shoulders and ducking to look into my eyes. "Anna, what's wrong?"

I just shake my head, unable to answer her through my sobs. She looks at me with those big blue eyes—eyes that are full of concern—before walking through the door, and closing it softly behind her.

She pulls me gently over to the couch, and sits me down on it, before walking over to my kitchen. I do nothing to stop her. I want to ask her what she's doing, but I can't seem to find my words. I can't even bring myself to feel embarrassed about crying in front of her.

And I am  _not_  a pretty crier.

I hear her rummage through the cabinets, muttering here and there. Then I hear her start the stove, and look over to see her heating water in a kettle. Where she found that, I have no clue.

After a few moments, the kettle begins to scream, and she pulls it off the flames. She pours the hot water into a mug, and stirs  _something_  into it. By the time she comes back, mug in hand, I've calmed down considerably.

"Here," she says handing me the cup. "Drink this. It'll help, I promise."

I take it without question, and bring the drink to my lips. Oh, my God. This is the best tea I've ever had.

It's a mixture of peppermint and…is that chocolate? Whatever it is, it's amazing. I instantly feel better, if only a little. I let out a small smile, and Elsa looks relieved.

"Ah. There's the Anna I know," she says softly, smiling back at me. "Now, why don't you tell me what's bothering you."

I drop my smile and look away, unable to meet her eyes.

"I…I'm sorry I missed lunch," I say softly, fiddling with the rim of my cup. "I understand if you don't want to go anymore."

Elsa looks at me, confusion clear in her eyes.

"Why would I not want to go to lunch with you?" she asks.

"Because I forgot. Because I can't do anything right. Because I'm fucking useless," I say bitterly.

I feel a cold hand on my chin, forcing me to look up into bright blue eyes.

"Anna, you are not useless. Don't you _ever_  think that. You are beautiful, and strong, and incredibly smart." I blush at her complement as she continues, "And don't ever think that I wouldn't want to spend time with you because of something so small. So what if you forgot? It seems as if you've just been having a bad day. It's no big deal. Really. Shit happens," says Elsa, a smile on her lips.

It doesn't even register that this is only the second time I've heard her cuss. If it did, I would've noticed how adorable it was. I look away. I want to believe her. Really I do. But I just…can't. By the look she's giving me, I can tell she knows that. I sigh.

"I-I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I say quietly, but she shakes her head.

"It's okay, Anna. Really," she replies.

It's quiet for a few moments, before she speaks again.

"Anna…" she says slowly, "How…How long have you been dealing with…" she gestures at me, "this?"

I cringe.

"I-I don't know…a few months maybe?" I say quietly.

Elsa nods her head. "And…what happened that…caused it?"

I close my eyes, tears forming again. I don't want to tell her. It's bad enough that she has to see me like this. I don't want her to know there's no good reason for it.

"Anna, it's okay. You can tell me," she says gently, putting a hand on my knee. "I'm here for you."

That strikes a chord. It's not like people haven't said that to me before. I hear it at least twice a day from Kristoff and Punz. But coming from Elsa, it's just…different. A good different. Believable. I take a deep breath.

"It, um, it wasn't anything…I…I just woke up one day, and…well…" I leave off, feeling like a terrible person.

I mean, people don't just become depressed out of the blue, right? She probably thinks I'm lying. She'll probably leave now. I wouldn't blame her. But she doesn't leave. She just looks at me, concern still written all over her face. And…something else. Something like…understanding? No, that's not it…maybe…guilt? Man, I really suck at reading facial expressions.

It's quiet for a few moments, when suddenly, she stands up, pulling me with her. The force almost causes me to lose my tea.

"E-Elsa, what're you—"

"Come on," she says, cutting me off. "We're going out."

"W-wait, what? No…Elsa, I-I'm not going anywhere," I say, pulling my hand from hers.

She looks at me with fierce, determined eyes. "Yes, you are."

I glare at her. I knew she wouldn't understand.  _Couldn't_  understand. She's just like everyone else. Wanting me to act normal so she can move on with her life. Not wanting to deal with the real me. I don't know why I hoped she would be any different.

"No," I say firmly, putting my cup down and crossing my arms. "I'm staying here. I'm not just going to pretend that I'm okay so you can continue your day as if nothing happened."

She looks hurt by my words. I don't buy it.

"Anna—"she starts, but I cut her off.

"I said No, Elsa!" I practically scream.

She looks startled at my outburst for a second, before fixing me with an ice-cold glare. She stalks up to me, and grabs my shirt collar, bringing are faces together until they are just a few inches apart. I have to admit, it's a little…what's the word? Oh yeah. Terrifying.

It's fucking terrifying.

"Now you listen to me, Anna Christiansen. You _are_  going to get up. You  _are_  going to get dressed. And you  _are_  going out. I am  _not_  leaving you here alone like this. We are going to somewhere to have some fun. Not because I  _want_  to, but because you  _need_  to," she growls. "Now march your ass over to your closet and get yourself dressed before I do it for you."

She lets go of my shirt, and I'm stunned for a few moments. She…she's trying to…help me? But…no one's ever wanted to do that before. No one's ever cared enough. I feel tears well up in my eyes, and, for the second time that day, I break down in front of Elsa. Her face immediately relaxes into compassion.

"Oh Anna," she says gently, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry again. I'm just worried about you."

"I-I know…I-it's j-just, no one has e-ever c-cared enough t-to do t-that b-before," I sob.

She puts a hand under my chin and lifts my face again. She smiles, really smiles, at me.

"How about I go pick you out some clothes, okay?" she says.

I nod, unable to answer her with words. She smiles even wider and walks off towards my bedroom. Before she makes it too far, I call out to her.

"Elsa?"

She turns and looks at me, one eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"Thanks."

She smiles again, nodding her head, and continues down the hall.

 

*****line break*****

 

We head out of the apartment, down to the parking lot. I'm surprise how in a matter of minutes, Elsa was able to make me look like my normal self. I swear she's a freaking magician. We reach the lot, and I look around for the familiar white limo, but I don't see it anywhere.

"Hey Elsa…did you're driver take off or something?" I ask.

She chuckles, shaking her head.

"No, I drove here myself today," she says, pointing past me.

I turn around, following her finger, and see a  _beautiful_ dark blue, brand spanking new Ferrari. I feel my mouth drop. You'd think after over a month I'd be used to how rich she is, but I'm stunned every time.

"You keep standing like that, and you'll end up eating a fly," chuckles Elsa, as she hops into the driver's seat. I quickly close my gaping face hole, and follow suit.

It's quiet while we drive. I can feel her glancing at me, but I ignore it and stare out the window. I can feel the worry radiating from the blond. I wish she would stop. I mean, I'm glad she's trying to help me and all, but I just don't know if this is going to work. After a few more minutes, I decide to try and break the tension.

"So, how did you know which apartment is mine? I mean, you've never been up before," I say nonchalantly (or at least what I hope is).

Elsa turns slightly pink, but keeps her eyes on the road as she answers.

"W-well, when you didn't come down, or answer your phone, I got worried so….I  _may_  have…bribed your landlord into telling me which one was yours," she says quickly.

Surprisingly, this causes me to laugh. Well, kind of. More like a small expulsion of air. Close enough.

"You  _bribed_  Jafar? How much did that cost you?" I giggle.

She mutter's something incoherently.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it," I tease.

She sighs.

"I said, he wouldn't take less than a grand, greedy old bastard," she swears gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.

This time, I laugh for real. Nothing big, or anything. But still. It's something. And Elsa just smiles, big and proud, relief clear in her eyes. And I'm surprised. I'm already feeling…better. I'm not a hundred percent, no that would be too easy, but…I don't feel like it's all so…hopeless. I think it's just from being near her. But what do I know?

After what feels like an eternity, we pull into a parking lot. I read the sign on the building, and turn to Elsa, one eyebrow raised.

"Ice skating?  _Really_? I mean, have you  _met_  me? I can barely walk on concrete without falling, much less ice!" I say, exasperated.

"Oh don't be such a drama queen, Anna," she says, getting out of the car.

I huff—why does everyone keep that?—and follow suit, knowing that I'm not getting out of this one. Elsa pays for my skates and ticket—despite my many objections—and all too soon we are standing by the rink, skates strapped on and ready to go. Well, at least she is. I'm having a mini heart attack. I mean, I'm not the most graceful person normally. Adding ice to the equation seems like a terrible idea. I look at Elsa, trying to convey all my discomfort and fear with my eyes, and she laughs. I scowl at her.

"What?" she says.

"I don't skate," I deadpan.

She grabs my hands, pulling me onto the ice.

"Oh come on!" she says, laughing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I say, my feet slipping out from under me. She steadies me, chuckling at my glare.

Slowly, she starts pulling me around the rink.

"Now remember, glide and pivot, glide and pivot," she instructs me.

After a few minutes, I'm able to at least stand on my own.

"Hey I got it! I got it!" I say excitedly.

Suddenly, I lose my balance and fall back, landing on my rear with a loud "Oomph."

"I don't got it," I grumble, rubbing my backside as Elsa almost falls over from laughter.

I stick my tongue out at her, and struggle to stand. She skates over circling me a few times backwards, before helping me up.

"Show off," I mutter, a small smile on my lips.

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," she says, a twinkle in her eye.

She leads me to the closest wall, making sure I'm okay, before she skates off to the middle of the rink. Much to my surprise (and chagrin), she begins to spin and jump around the ice, looking for all the world like an Olympic skater. I cling to the wall, gasping at her in awe. She's freaking amazing. What the hell  _can't_  this woman do?

She skates back over to me, laughing at the look on my face, before taking my hands and leading me around the rink again. After a few hours I'm so beat, I can't even stand on my own anymore. Elsa chuckles at my half-hearted attempts, and decides it's time to call it a day. I gratefully make my way to the exit, and pull off my skates. Despite how terrible I am, I actually had a lot of fun.

As I smile to myself, I realize that Elsa's plan to distract me from my depression was a huge success. I don't feel that oppressive weight anymore. All I feel is tired and… not exactly happy but…content. Yeah, content. The drive back to my apartment is quiet again, but a good kind of quiet.

"Hey Els?" I say, breaking the silence.

She smirks at the nickname, and hums in response.

"Where'd you get the tea? I know for a fact that I don't have any."

She smiles at me and nods at her purse.

"I always keep some with me. Helps to calm my nerves."

I nod, wondering why someone so confident would need to settle their nerves. Suddenly Elsa's pulling the car over to the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" I ask, unamused.

She looks over at me, smiling as she throws off her seatbelt, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Do you want to build a snowman?" she asks playfully.

I notice she has pulled over next to a huge bank of snow. I look at her for a moment, before I feel a smile pulling at my lips. Her eyes light up at my answer, and we jump out of the car. Careful to avoid traffic, we make our way to the fresh powder.

She's starts on the body, while I work on the head. When I finish, I gather rocks and twigs for the face and arms. I feel extremely lucky, when I find a patch of wild carrots. It must be fate. We put together the pieces, and laugh at our creation.

The head is…well it's an oval. And he has one large buck tooth. So I'm not great at this. Bite me. It doesn't make it any less fun. Elsa walks up behind him, and grabs his stick-arms.

"Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs," she says in a silly voice.

I laugh, until I feel something cold and wet hit me in the face. I wipe at it, only to find snow  _everywhere_. Did she just…she just threw a snowball at me! I look over at Elsa, and see her smirking at me, another snowball in her hand, and a challenging look in her eyes. So it's a snowball fight she wants, huh?

Oh, it. Is. On.

I Rambo roll, pick up some snow as I dodge her missile, and release one of my own. She shrieks, ducking behind Olaf. The fight that ensued was legendary. By the time we had worn ourselves out, we are soaked—me more so than Elsa. Somehow, she had managed to sneak up behind me, and stuff a handful of cold powder down my shirt.

I'm laughing so hard, it hurts.

We jump back to the car—heat on high— and, all too soon, we are pulling into the apartment complex. I think she is just going to drop me off like always, but she parks and steps out of the car. I give her a confused look but she doesn't say anything. She just walks beside me as we make our way up the stairs. We reach my door, and stand awkwardly in the doorway.

"Would…would you like to come in and dry off?" I ask timidly.

"No, thank you. I actually need to get going. I have a meeting with my father soon," she says.

I don't miss the dejected look she tries to hide.

We stand there quietly for a few more seconds, before I decide to speak again.

"Thanks, Els. For today. I…I really appreciate it," I say, not meeting her eyes.

She smiles at me, and I turn to open my apartment.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and turn to look at her.

Suddenly, I'm surrounded by warmth, as she pulls me into a tight hug.

At first, I'm too surprised to do anything but stand there. I mean, I know what's happening. I've been hugged before. Many times.

I'm a hugger by nature.

It's just, this feels so…different. Good different.

It feels safe.

I slowly bring my arms up to circle her waist, and I bury my face in her neck.

We fit like two pieces of a puzzle. Like we're meant to hold each other. She sighs when I embrace her, and sets her cheek on my hair. I breathe deep, taking in her scent.

She smells like…well like winter. There's really no other way to put it. I mean, there's pine, peppermint, and  _something_  else, something cold, like snow. It's amazing.

This is the absolute  _best_  hug I've ever had.

We stay like that for a few moments before she slowly pulls away. I frown at the loss of warmth, but she keeps her hands on my shoulders, ducking her head to meet my eyes.

"Anna," she says, "I want you to promise that if you ever feel like this again, no matter when or where, you'll call me. And I promise that I will come to you, no matter what. Okay? I'm going to help you get through this," she says firmly, yet gently, and I feel tears prick at my eyes again.

Damn it, how many times am I going to cry in front of this woman? I nod my head, and she offers a small smile.

"Good. Now go and get some rest; you've had a long day. I'll stop by to check on you tomorrow," says say, turning to leave.

And with that, she's gone. I stand in the doorway, still not a hundred percent sure what just happened. She…she just said that she'll always be there for me. Not directly, but still. I smile as I turn and walk into my apartment, one thought on my mind:

I can't wait for tomorrow.


	6. Chapter five

Chapter 5

 

_They say bad things happen for a reason_

_But those wise words don't stop the bleeding_

_-"Breakeven"_

_The Script_

 

"Mmmm, Punz this is the best one yet," I say, taking another sip of coffee.

"You only say that cause it's practically hot chocolate with a little bit of coffee flavor," she deadpans.

I laugh, picking up the next cup. "So? That's  _why_  it's the best one. You can never have too much chocolate."

Rapunzel shakes her head at me as I try the next concoction. I nearly choke.

"Nope. No good. Bacon coffee is a terrible idea, no matter how awesome it sounds. Bleck!" I say, taking a quick swig of water to rid myself of the taste.

Rapunzel laughs at me, and makes a mark on her clip board. "Okay, okay. No bacon flavored coffee. Next?"

She points to the final cup. I eye it warily. Out of the twenty different "experiments," only five have been even drinkable, the chocolate one being the only one that was actually good.

"Oh just drink it already," she says, exasperated.

I stick my tongue out at her, before picking up the paper cup. I cautiously bring it to my lips, and take a small sip.

"Punz," I say. "I lied before."

She looks at me confused, and I smile.

" _This_  is the best one. I mean, peppermint  _and_  chocolate? Amazing!" I say in sing-song. "This is Starbucks quality coffee for sure."

Rapunzel laughs, and marks on her paper.

"Peppermint and chocolate, check. Well that's all of them. Thanks again for being my guinea pig, Anna," she says as she begins cleaning up the various paper cups.

"No problem, Punz. You know I'd never turn down free coffee, no matter how bad it is," I reply, earning myself a smack on the arm.

"Hey, they weren't that bad!" she exclaims, as I laugh again.

I help her finish cleaning up the mess, and we sit down for the last few minutes of her break.

"All right, spill," she says the second my butt hits the seat.

"Spill what?" I ask, giving her my best 'I don't know what you're talking about' face.

I know exactly what she's talking about. I've been avoiding telling her about what happened with Elsa, because I don't want her to make a big deal out of it. Plus, her not knowing that I had another bad day is always a good thing. Keeps her off my back for a little while.

"Don't 'spill what?' me. You've been acting all dopey for the past week, which means 'something' happened. And if my guess is correct that 'something' has to do with a certain blond millionaire. A millionaire who, by the way, you've been spending exorbitant amounts of time with lately. So I say again," she jabs a finger at me. "Spill."

"I have  _not_  been all dopey!" I say defensively, purposely ignoring her question.

I've never seen someone look more  _done_  than she did in that moment.

"Seriously Anna? You've been walking around with the same love-sick face you get when you smell chocolate, and—" she says, continuing before I have the chance to argue, "you've seen her almost every day this week! Obviously there's something you're not telling me. Did you ask her about the whole 'dating/not dating' thing? Does she like you?"

I try—unsuccessfully—to hide my blush. Rapunzel gasps.

"OMG! She totally does! Did you guys hug? Ooh! Did you guys kiss!?—"

"Rapunzel!" I yell, cutting her off. "No, I didn't ask her, I don't know how she feels about me," (yeah right, there's almost no doubt now about that one), "yes we hugged, and no, we didn't kiss, all right?"

Her shoulders slump for a second, before she snaps her head up. "So you  _did_  hug! I  _knew_  something happened between you guys!" she says, smiling triumphantly.

"It was just a hug, Punz. It's no big deal." I say, trying to play it off.

Rapunzel won't have it.

" _Just_  a hug? Anna, it's never  _just_  a hug! Wait, did you hug her, or did she hug you?" she asks excitedly.

"Uh, she hugged me?" I say.

"Oh my God! She's totally into you!" she squeals "Now you have to make the next move!" she says, completely serious.

"Next move?" I say, incredulous. "What next move?"

"You have to be the one to  _kiss_  her!" she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Wait, what!? Why!?" I exclaim, completely flustered.

Just then, Sven and Kristoff decide to burst in, loud as ever. Thank God.

"But dude, reindeers are totally better than people!" exclaims Sven, obviously continuing whatever argument they were having prior to entering the shop. "People will beat you, and curse you  _and_  cheat you!"

"But people smell better than reindeers! Punz, don't you think I'm right?" asks Kristoff, looking at Rapunzel.

She shakes her head.

"Don't bring  _me_  into this," she says.

"Well, that  _is_ true," continues Sven.

"See—" starts Kristoff.

"For all except you," Sven finishes, earning a giggle from me and Rapunzel.

"Hey!" exclaims Kristoff. "I don't smell  _that_  bad, right guys?" he looks over at us.

Rapunzel and I look at each other, before we break down into hysterics. Kristoff huffs, crossing his arms in embarrassment.

"Thanks a lot," he mutters sarcastically.

I laugh again, and look at the time.

"Oh shit, I better go, or I'm going to be late," I say.

"Late for what?" asks Sven, as Kristoff pouts in a corner somewhere.

"Her lunch date with Elsa," teases Rapunzel.

I stick my tongue at her again, not even bothering to correct her. It won't do any good, so why bother.

"Ooh," says Sven, earning an eye-roll from me. "Where are you guys going?"

"I don't know," I answer, "but I'm supposed to meet her at her office today. She has a meeting right up until we normally meet."

I stand and make my way to the exit. "See ya later guys!"

I wave goodbye as they all respond in kind.

"Don't think you're getting out of our conversation missy!" shouts Rapunzel as I walk through the door.

I shake my head as I plug in the address Elsa gave me into my phone.

 

*****line break*****

 

Wow. I crane my neck to look up at the enormous building. It's indescribable. I literally cannot describe it.

"This is where Elsa works?" I ask out loud in wonder.

Damn. I check my watch before entering the building. **12:05PM**. Huh, I'm early. Like,  _really_  early. That's a first. I shrug and walk through the large double doors.

I let out a long whistle. If the outside was amazing, it's nothing compared to the  _inside_. The lobby is freakin  _huge_! This place is ridiculous! I mean, there's a gigantic fountain for Christ's sake! And—is that a  _chandelier!_ Holy mama. I need to visit Elsa at her officer more often! This is fucking  _awesome_!

I walk across the lobby in complete awe, my head swiveling to take in everything. I stop in front of the  _enormous_ receptionist desk, and notice several picture frames littering said desk. One has a picture of a very small man in glasses, and suspenders. I notice that though he is bald, he has enormous eyebrows, and an even bigger mustache. Seriously, this one could rival the Weasel's.

Another frame holds a picture of a tall,  _very_  fit man with dreadlocks standing—shirtless—next to a ginormous silver back gorilla. I continue to look at the other pictures, one even showing the man next to an elephant, until I hear a small cough. I look up to see a petite brunette staring at me in polite amusement. I realize she's been waiting for me to say something. I blush slightly in embarrassment.

"Oh! U-um, hi! I'm here to see E—Uh, Ms. Arendelle?" I smile nervously.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asks with a strong English accent, moving to check what I assume is Elsa's schedule.

"Um, n-not really. I'm just supposed to meet her here for lunch." I say, and she smiles.

"Oh, you must be Ms. Christiansen!" she says, extending her hand over the counter. "Jane Porter. It's lovely to finally meet you. I've been wondering who this mysterious girl is that's been making our future CEO so happy. I figured she must be something special to catch Elsa's eye," she says, causing me to blush again.

"Th-thanks," I say, ducking my head.

Her smile widens as she retracts her hand.

"You're a tad bit early, so she's still in her meeting. But you can go wait in her office until she's done. It's on the top floor, second to last door on the left. The code is 11379," she directs me.

I smile and stutter out a quick thanks before walking towards the elevator.

"Have a good time!" I hear her shout after me.

I wave in thanks as the elevator doors close. I look at the buttons, and gasp. _100_ floors! And Elsa's on the  _top!_ I swear the more time I spend with this woman, the more awesome she gets.

I select the top floor, and I'm off. The ride's (surprisingly) not long, despite having to stop a few times as other people got on and off the elevator. Soon the display reads 100, and the doors open. I see a long hallway, and, after a second of hesitation, I make my way to where Jane had said Elsa's office was. She did say second to last, right? Oh thank God there's a name plaque.

I jiggle the handle, only to find it locked. What the—I look down and notice a key pad. Oh, right! The code…Which was what again?

…

Shit. I rack my brains for a few moments. Nothing. Dammit Anna! She just told you! Wait…wait I think it was…11…something, something, something…I face-palm. Why didn't I write it down? I think for a few more moments, before finally giving up.

I groan, contemplating going down and asking Jane what it was again, when the door suddenly opens. A woman, who appears to be in her mid-fifties (at least I think with the grey hair and all) comes out almost running me over in her haste. She sees me just in time, letting out a surprised squeak.

"Oh my! Sorry dear, I didn't see you there!" she says, bringing a hand to her chest.

"N-no! It's fine! I shouldn't have been standing right in front of the door," I say quickly.

The woman smiles.

"Can I help you with something, Miss?" she asks kindly.

"U-um, well, I-I'm waiting for Elsa, uh I-I mean Ms. Arendelle to finish her meeting and, um, Jane? Yeah Jane, told me to wait in her office, but I kind of forgot the code, so that's why I was just standing here. Hehe. I-I was actually debating whether or not it would be worth it to go back down and ask, but then I thought 'what if Elsa gets done while I'm there and comes looking for me or something', and then, well, you opened…the door…and…I-I'm rambling, aren't I?" I say, blushing as the woman looks at me with an amused smile.

"Sorry," I duck my head, berating myself for talking off some random woman's ear.

I mean, come  _on_ Anna. Really?

"It's quite all right dear," she says with a smile. "If you're supposed to wait in Elsa's office, why didn't you just say so?"

She holds the door open for me. I stand there for a second before quickly entering the office.

"Thanks," I mutter, smiling at the woman. She smiles back, and turns to leave.

"Uh, wait!" I say quickly.

She turns back and hums in response.

"What, uh, what's your name?" I ask shyly.

The older woman laughs, her features lighting up.

"Gerda, dear. My name is Gerda."

I smile at her again. I don't know why, but something about this woman just makes me feel comfortable.

"Well it was nice to meet you Gerda," I say, extending my hand.

She takes it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"It was nice to meet you too, Ms. Anna. I hope you have a good lunch with Elsa," she says.

She turns and walks off before I can respond, leaving me stunned, hand still extended. How does she know my name? Did I tell her? No…I think I would remember that…Maybe Elsa told her? Yeah, that must be it. I mean, it's the only explanation, right?

I shake my head, and turn around to inspect the room. Oh my God. Is there anything about this place that  _isn't_  freakin' huge!? I run over to the enormous window overlooking the city. The view is  _amazing_! I swear I can see all of New York from here! So cool!

After drooling over the spectacular view for a few more minutes, I finally manage to pull my face from the glass to look around the rest of the office. Seriously, Els? Do you really need a couch  _and_ a television in here? I mean, really.

As I continue to look around, I notice a picture on one of the walls. It depicts a tall, ginger man, sporting a very neat pencil-stache, standing with perfect posture, hands folded neatly behind his back. He looks powerful.

But that's not what causes me to double-take. It's the woman in the picture. She's sitting down, and looks to be everything that the man does not. She's smiling, her posture relaxed. She looks incredibly happy. And there's something else. Despite the brown hair and lavender eyes, she looks exactly like Elsa. I mean, seriously. They could be freaking twins.

It's then I notice that the woman in the picture is holding a small baby in her arms. The child has a small tuff of platinum blond hair, clear blue eyes, and a familiar lop-sided grin. Realization hits me like a train. That's Elsa. This is a picture of Elsa and her parents. No wonder they look so alike. That's Elsa's  _mom!_

It occurs to me that Elsa has never once mentioned her mother. I wonder why. Maybe…maybe something happened? I mean, who doesn't talk about their mother?

As I try to puzzle out the mystery that is Elsa, I hear voices coming down the hall. One of them sounds like my blond friend, but the other I've never heard before. It's clearly male. Must be one of Elsa's associates. Guess she's done with her meeting.

I head back to her desk and sit on it, planning on surprising her. I hear someone key in the code, and the door opens. I see Elsa walk in, looking back at whoever she was talking to, so she doesn't see me right away.

"It was good to see you today, Els," says the man. "I feel like I never get to anymore."

"Me too. I'll see you later?" replies Elsa. I hear the man hum in response.

I crane my neck, trying to see what he looks like, my curiosity getting the better of me. I get my chance, however, when he pushes the door open wider. He's actually quite attractive. A girl could get lost in those green eyes. The sideburns are a little much, but hey, to each their own, right?

At this point, I've just about run out of patience waiting for Elsa to notice me. I am just about to announce my presence, when the man leans in.

And kisses her.

I feel my heart drop. I mean literally. It literally feels like my heart fell through my butt. I don't even notice how Elsa stiffens at the contact. Or how she almost pushes him away. All I see is his lips on hers.

And then I see red.

"Uh-hum," I cough to get their attention.

The two of them break from their kiss and look up at me, startled expressions on their faces.

" _Anna?_ " breaths Elsa, "W-what're you doing here?"

"Waiting. For you. But it would seem that you're busy, so I'll be on my way," I huff, hopping of the desk.

I can't believe what a fool I've been.

"Wait, don't go!" says the man, stepping into the room. "I-I'm sorry, we didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You must be the infamous Anna. Elsa's told me so much about you. I'm Hans Westerguard. Elsa's fiancé?"

I feel as though everything just stops. Fiancé? Elsa has a  _fiancé?_ As in, her and this douche are getting  _married!?_

If I wasn't angry before, I am absolutely furious now. I don't say a word. I just walk out.

I enter the elevator, and push the ground floor button. I look up as the doors close to see Elsa running after me, but she doesn't make it in time.

Surprisingly, I manage to keep it together until I hit the lobby. As soon as the doors open, I make for the exit.

"Ms. Anna? Is everything all right?" I hear Jane call out as I pass the front desk.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Fan-fucking-tastic," I growl as I pass her.

I don't give her time to respond as I walk out of the building. I still haven't cried yet. I can't believe I was so foolish. Was any of it real? Did she ever have feelings for me? Or was it all in my imagination?

Of course it was Anna. Because who could have feelings for someone so emotionally damaged, they can't even fucking cry when they find out they've been played. Who could have feelings for someone like you?

As I walk down the street, I hear someone calling out to me. I ignore them and keep walking. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, spinning me around to look at whoever is chasing me.

"Anna," huffs Elsa, out of breath. "Anna, wait. Just let me explain."

"Explain what Elsa?" I growl. "Explain how you've been tugging me along for weeks? Explain how you've been taking me on dates, yes—"I say, cutting her off as she tries to argue, "dates, when you have a fucking  _fiancé?_ I mean was all this just a big joke to you? Because it sure was a hell of a lot more to me!"

She looks down, hurt by my words.

"No, Anna, I-it wasn't a joke," she says quietly.

"Then what?" I yell, causing her to flinch. "What was this? A fling? Did the last month mean  _anything_  to you?"

Her silence gives me my answer. I feel tears well up behind my eyes. I've finally had it. I'm done.

"Fuck you, Elsa," I spit.

I turn around and start walking away.

"W-wait, Anna—"

"No, Elsa. Just…no."

I walk away, tears running down my face. I can't decide if I'm relieved, or disappointed when, this time, she doesn't follow me.


	7. Chapter six

Chapter 6

 

_If there's a prize for rotten judgment,_

_I guess I've already won that_

_-"Won't say I'm in love"_

_Hercules_

 

I don't remember getting home. All I know is one moment I am in front of Arendelle Corp. and the next I'm outside my front door. I walk in, and collapse on my couch. I begin to cry.

How could I be so stupid? I mean, this had to have been in the news at some point, right? Hot millionaire gets engaged? The press would've been all over that. So how the hell did I miss it? Was I just so blind, that I couldn't see what was right in front of me?

I think back to all the 'moments' we shared. Was I the only one that thought they meant something more? Did I just make all this up in my mind, because I just felt so…so alone? God, I'm such a fucking idiot.

I continue to berate myself for hours. I never once stop crying. At some point, I think I call Rapunzel. I don't really remember. All I know is suddenly she is at my door, hugging me and offering me words of comfort.

"Shh, Anna, it's okay," she says, holding me on the couch. "Why don't you just tell me what happened?"

I shake my head. No way. I'm not telling her. It's too embarrassing. She pulls away, and holds me at arm's length.

"Anna, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge all right?" she says.

I look down. I don't want to tell her…or do I? I mean, I  _did_  call her, right? Why else would she be here? I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. I'm quiet for a few moments, before I tell Rapunzel everything that happened after I left the coffee shop. When I finish, she scowls angrily, jumping up from the couch.

"That bitch!" she growls. "I'll kill her for this! I swear I will! You know what, where's my frying pan? I'm going to go over there right now and give her a piece of my mind!" she stands, but stops when I grab her hand, pulling her back to the couch.

"Punz…don't," I say quietly. "Please, just stay."

She looks at me, all anger gone, replaced with concern. Slowly, she sits back down.

"Okay, Anna," she says softly, pulling me into another hug. "I'll stay."

She doesn't leave for the rest of the night. She just holds me as I cry, comforting me, telling me that none of this is my fault, even though I don't believe a word of it.

"God I'm such an idiot," I say into her shoulder.

"No Anna, you're not. None of this is your fault. You couldn't've known," she says, combing her fingers through my hair soothingly.

"How? I mean, if she's…if she's engaged…wouldn't it have been all over the news? If I had paid more attention, none of this would've happened."

Rapunzel stops playing with my hair, and pulls away again.

"Anna, I can personally promise you this is  _not_  common knowledge. It's nowhere in the news," she says.

I look at her confused.

"How?" I say.

"How what?"

"How can you personally promise?" I ask.

Rapunzel turns slightly pink.

"W-well, I, uh, kind of…Facebook stalked her after I found out who she was…" she says, fiddling her thumbs.

Her confession is so random, I actually let out a laugh in surprise.

"You what?" I say incredulous.

"Oh hush Anna, I only did it for you," she says, still blushing.

"Sure you did," I mumble.

She sticks her tongue at me.

"Anyways," she continues, "It didn't say anything online about her being engaged. Nothing. Nada. And like you said, it would've been all over the news. So no, this isn't your fault. It's hers.  _She_  lied to you.  _She_  is in the wrong. Okay?"

I feel tears return to my eyes, and nod my head. I don't really believe her, but I let her think I do. She holds me tight as I break down again. Eventually, I cry myself to sleep.

 

*****line break*****

 

The next morning I wake to the sound of someone knocking at my door. What the hell? I lift my head from my pillow, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Funny I don't remember getting into bed last night. Must have been Punz. I wonder when she left.

You know what? I really don't care.

I look at my bedside clock, wondering how long I've been asleep. **2:15PM.** Wow, it's late. I mean, I'm no morning person, but this is ridiculous even for me. I decide, once again, I really don't care, and slump back down on my pillow.

I try going back to sleep, but I'm interrupted by another round of knocking. Oh. Right. I try ignoring whoever it is. I really don't feel like seeing anyone. Maybe they'll just leave. When they knock a third time, I realize they aren't going away. Damn.

I groan, pulling myself out of my bed. Why can't people just leave me alone for once? I swear. I grumble in irritation as I walk towards the front door. Maybe it's Rapunzel, checking up on me. It's not unlike her, I guess. She is a super caring person. And I did just cry all over…Yeah, it must be Punz.

I reach the door, but just as I'm about to open it, I hear a voice on the other side of the wooden barrier.

"Anna, I know you're in there. Please just open up."

I freeze, hand on the door knob. Is that… _Elsa!?_ What the  _hell_  is she doing here!? When I don't answer her, she continues.

"I just want to talk…I-I'm sorry about what happened. Please just let me in. Let me explain," she says, desperation clear in her voice.

I shake my head, not caring that she can't see me. No. Not uh. Not gonna happen. Not in a million years. I step away from the door, tears once again forming in my eyes. My back hits the far wall, and I slide down it, pulling my knees to my chest.

How dare she? How dare she come here, asking for my forgiveness? Is she absolutely mental? What could she possibly gain? I hear a light thud. It almost sounds like she had let her forehead rest on the door.

"Anna,  _please_ ," I hear her voice break, followed by a sniff.

Is…is she crying? What the fuck? Why? Why is  _she_  upset? What gives her the  _right_?

I feel my hurt replaced with anger, and soon I am shaking with rage. I feel my tears spill over and run down my face, but I don't move to wipe them away.

I hate her. I fucking hate her. I want to yell at her. To scream, and rage, and possibly even throw things. I want to break her. But I say nothing. I won't give her the satisfaction. I hear her sigh.

"All right, I can tell I'm not getting anywhere today," she says, disappointment lacing her every word. "I guess you want to be alone. I-I'll leave you for now."

I hear something rustling, and suddenly a piece of paper is slipped under my door.

"If… _when_ you feel like talking to me…just come to that address. It's kind of far, so you'll have to take a cab. I hope we can talk this out…I…I don't want to lose you, Anna. I know you don't think so right now, but I do care for you. I'm sorry that things happened this way. I never meant to hurt you."

She's silent for a second more, waiting to see if I respond, before she sighs again.

"Goodbye, Anna."

I hear her walk away from the door, and soon she's gone. The apartment is filled with silence. I frown, looking down at the small piece of paper. Care? Does she really? I stand and move forward, bending to pick up the slip before I realize what I'm doing.

No. My hand stops, hovering above it. She doesn't care. How could she do what she did, and still say that? I feel tears in my eyes again. I stand up, leaving the slip on the floor, and walk to my bedroom, suddenly exhausted.

I collapse on my bed, asleep before my head touches the pillow.

 

*****line break*****

 

The next time I wake, it's to the sound of my phone.

"Seriously?" I grumble, reaching for the device.

"Hullo?" I grunt, still groggy from my eighteen hour nap.

" _Anna, where the hell are you_!" whispers Snow angrily.

"What?" I say, still not sure what's going on.

" _Seriously Anna!? Your shift started, like, an hour ago. Dr. Weasleton is going to fire your ass if you don't get down here **now**!_ " she says, as comprehension dawns on me.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I jump out of bed, now fully awake.

"Fuck!" I curse. "I'm on my way. Snow, can you stall for me…just for a little longer?"

" _I'll try, Anna, but he's out for blood,_ " she responds.

Suddenly, she curses.

" _Oh, shit…Dr. Weasleton! How are you sir?"_

I freeze. I hear someone talking to Snow on the other line.

" _Anna? O-oh no, I- it's not her."_

I feel my blood run cold. I hear more talking.

" _Who? W-well,_   _uh it's, um, my, uh, Aunt? Y-yeah, that's it! My Aunt. Good O'l Aunt…Sneezy?"_

I face-palm. Seriously Snow? Sneezy? That's the best you can come up with? I hear Dr. Weasleton grunt, unamused. He says something else, and I hear Snow sigh. Hang up Snow. Please hang up.

" _Sorry Anna, I tried."_  She says.

I hear the phone being transferred, as I hold my breath.

" _Why hello Ms. Christiansen."_ My stomach drops at the sound of his voice.

He sounds happy. Gleeful almost. And he didn't call me  _Nurse_ Christiansen. Fuck.

" _I am sure you are aware that you're shift has begun, and you are, in fact, not here. Considering our conversation the last time you were late, it is my upmost pleasure, to inform you that you are no longer employed at Miracle West. Please collect your things by the end of the week. Oh, and **do**  have a good rest of the day."_

The line goes silent. I'm frozen in place. I can't even feel angry that he hung up on me. All I feel is numb. I can't believe it. I lost my job. Like, really lost it. I start to feel something hot bubbling up in my chest. God, can I do  _anything_  fucking right!?

I grip the phone tight in my hand. After everything, now this? I feel my frustration from the last two days building. I'm so angry, I can't see straight.

I hate my life. I hate everyone, and everything in it. I hate that no matter what I try, I just can't seem to win. You know what? I quit. I'm done with this. Fuck Elsa. Fuck the hospital. Fuck everything.

Just…just " _Fuck!"_

Suddenly, I yell and, with all the force I can muster, I throw my phone at the wall. It shatters, falling into a broken heap on the floor. It doesn't make me feel any better. Doesn't alleviate the anger I'm feeling.

I look around my room, and something just snaps. I don't know why, but I just want to break  _everything._ So I do. I just start throwing things, my lamp, my alarm clock, the laptop…really anything I can get my hands on. Nothing is safe.

When I run out of things to throw, I start tearing up my pillow, feathers going everywhere. I rip my mattress off of the bed frame. I tear apart my clothes. Soon, my apartment's a complete wreck. Broken glass and bits of fabric litter the floor. The couch is flipped over. The television has a stiletto stuck in the screen. It looks like a tornado came through here. And I'm not done.

I run into the bathroom, wanting to continue my rampage, but I stop when I see my reflection. My eyes are wild and crazy, my hair falling out of my braids in a frizzy mess. I have bits of feathers sticking to me here and there. At some point, I managed to rip my pajama shirt across my ribcage, revealing my freckled skin.

I don't look like myself. I look completely insane. And it makes me even angrier. They did this to me. Elsa, Weasel, that douche Hans. Even Punz and Kristoff, with their constant worry. They all did this. And I'm the one who has to live with it. Who has to clean up the mess they've made.

I scream in anger, punching the mirror and shattering it. I cry out in pain, clutching my hand to my chest as blood pours out from the various cuts I received. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I berate myself as I try to stop the bleeding, momentarily distracted from my rampage.

After a few minutes, I inspect my wounds. They're mostly superficial wounds. Luckily I won't need stiches. Thank God.

I stand up to open my cabinet, careful to avoid the broken glass, and reach for my first aid kit. I sit on the, now ruined, couch, and slowly wrap my hand. As I finish, I feel myself deflate. I no longer feel angry. I just feel drained.

I sigh, and look down at the floor. I notice, amidst the debris, the slip of paper with Elsa's address on it. It's right where I left it. Just sitting there.

Ignore it, Anna.

I stand up, and walk over to the slip.

Leave it be, Anna. It'll only hurt you more.

I bend down and pick it up. The handwriting on the paper is incredibly clean. It's probably the best penmanship I've ever seen. I read the address four or five times. I know I shouldn't, but for some reason, I want to go. I want to talk to her. To understand.

You don't need to go there. You just need to forget about her.

I stare at it for a few more moments.

Don't do it, Anna. Don't you dare.

Somehow, I find myself on the street, slip of paper in hand, as I try to hail a cab. I shiver, realizing I didn't change out of my pajamas. I must look like a complete idiot. Or a crazy person. There's that too. At least I had enough sense to grab a jacket, even if it is just a light one. I pull up the zipper and throw up my hood as a cab pulls to the curb.

Don't get in that cab, Anna. This is only going to make you feel worse.

I hop in, and give him the address, questioning myself the whole time.

What are you doing? Don't do this to yourself. She's engaged. To a  _man_. You're just going to end up getting hurt.

I stare out the window as we drive towards Manhattan. We pass through several neighborhoods, each one looking more expensive than the last.

You can still turn back. You don't need to do this.

The cab pulls up to a large gate.

"Here ya go, sweetheart," says the cabby.

Tell him to take you home. Do it. Do it now.

"Thanks," I say, handing him some money. "Keep the change."

I step out of the car, and it pulls away, leaving me alone in the fading light.

All right you're here, you stubborn ass. Now what? Do I knock? Is there a key or something?

I walk up to the gate, planning on testing it to see if it is locked, when it suddenly it swings open. I let out a small squeal, and jump back in surprise, before realizing what is happening. I blush in embarrassment, even though there is no one around. Huh, must be automated.

I slowly walk through the gate, and it closes behind me. Ooookay then. I look away from the gate, and see a house on top of a very large hill. I mean, like, huge. It's got to be at least a mile hike! I curse silently. I should've had the cabby drive me up to the actual house. Damn. Why is hindsight always 20/20?

I sigh and start walking. It's not like I have much of a choice. I don't have a phone anymore, so it's not like I can just call another cab to take me home.

As I walk, I pull my jacket tighter, shivering from the slight breeze. My hand throbs and I curse myself for losing control. I regret not wearing real shoes. Slippers outside in winter? Bad idea.

Eventually I make it to the driveway, panting and shivering. Despite my anger, and slight frustration, I can't help but stand in awe of the structure in front of me. The house—if it could be called that, it's more like a mansion—is like everything else that has to do with Elsa; freakin' amazing. It's huge. I mean  _huge_. Does this woman have to go big with  _everything_?

I shake my head as I finish the trek up to the front door. I stop in front of it, and put my hand up to knock, but pause just before my fist hits the wood.

Knock. Just knock. Why aren't you knocking? Did you forget how to knock?

I shake my head, and move to try again, when I hear faint voices coming from inside the house. It…it almost sounds like…yelling? No…like arguing. Someone is arguing in there.

…Maybe I should just go…I mean, I don't want to intrude or anything…but I don't have any way of getting home, and walking in this weather, dressed like this, is a no go. I need a phone if anything.

As I stand there trying to decide what I should do, the yelling gets closer. Suddenly, I hear Elsa's voice, raw from screaming, just on the other side of the door.

"Leave her out of this!" she yells to whoever she is with. "This is between us, it has nothing to do with her!"

The other person says something unintelligible back. Elsa's responds in kind, but I don't catch it. Their voices are getting softer now. It sounds like they are now moving away from the door.

I start to back away at this point, not wanting to interrupt whatever  _that_  is. Even though I think it's about me. The last voice sounded like Hans, though I can't be sure. Great. Now I'm a home-wrecker. This just  _really_  isn't my day, is it?

Fuck this, I'm going home…Though I have no idea how I am going to do that. Shit. I can't walk. It's too far for that. And in this weather I'll freeze to death for sure. Way to go Anna. Now your just stranded here, with the only way out being through that shit-storm inside. Good fucking job.

I sigh. Maybe…maybe I can just hitchhike or something. I mean, it's not that late, there's bound to be  _someone_  driving around, right? I guess I'll just have to take that chance. It's either that or facing those two.

I turn to leave, my mind made up. As I walk, the voices inside start to get louder. It's like, no matter how far away I get, I can still hear them. Does the universe just enjoy punishing me? I mean, seriously. Can't I have a break? Just this once. I continue walking away, ignoring the voices.

Just as I reach the edge of the driveway, I hear something that makes my blood run cold. I freeze, eyes going wide. That wasn't screaming. Or yelling. Or even the sound of breaking glass. That was worse. Much worse.

That was the sound of a gunshot.

_Elsa!_


	8. Chapter seven

Chapter 7

 

_Have you heard the news?_

_Bad things come in twos._

_-"The Little Things"_

_Danny Elfman_

 

_BANG!_

The shot echoes out across the property. The sound fades, leaving an eerie silence. I stand frozen in place, too shocked to do much else. That was a gunshot. Someone just shot a freaking  _gun_! In the house!

Oh my God…Elsa! I turn back to the house, and sprint as fast as I can to the front door. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's not like I'm a cop or anything. Logically, I should be trying to find a way to contact the police. God,  _why_  did I have to break my phone _?_

I reach the door, still unsure what exactly I am planning on doing. Come on Anna, think. Think. Think. Think.

I decide I am going to try and ram my way through the door. It occurs to me that this might draw attention—dangerous attention—to myself, but it's only a fleeting thought. Right now the only thing that matters to me is getting to Elsa, because she could be hurt. I refuse to believe she is dead.

I back up a few paces to give myself some momentum. All right Anna, you can do this. I take a deep breath, before running full speed towards the door, lowering my shoulder to take the impact. The door was, apparently, unlocked, because I went barreling through it, landing on the floor in a mess of pigtails and slippers.

"Ouch," I grunt, standing up and rubbing my head where it had hit the floor.

Guess I should've tried the door knob first. I stand, looking around, trying to figure out where Elsa and Hans could've gone. I notice the elaborate stair case and wonder if they went up there. My suspicions are confirmed when I see a light flick on down one of the many hallways on the second floor.

As quickly and quietly as I can (which isn't very) I make my way up the stairs towards the light. As I walk, I review everything I know about self-defense. It's not much. It mostly consists of watching Sandra Bullock beat up Benjamin Bratt in a tutu. Well shit.

I reach the top of the stairs, and head down the hallway. I realize I don't have any kind of weapon. I look around in the many rooms I pass, hoping to find something. I pass a room with a fire place, and notice several cast iron pokers. I quickly run in and grab one, thanking the heavens for small favors.

I continue on my way—poker held in front of me defensively—and, finally, I reach the room with the light. I can hear someone talking in the other room. I step closer to try and hear what they are saying.

"…Yea it's done…no she won't be a nuisance anymore, I made sure of that…yes sir, I will take care of the body…"

My blood runs cold. Body? Does…does that mean that Elsa's...? No. No I won't think like that. She's alive, I know it. And I won't believe otherwise until I see it for myself.

I take a deep breath, and slowly push open the door a crack, so I can see inside. The room is quite large, I note. Some kind of study I think? I see a man standing in the corner, gun in hand, hanging up a cellphone. He steps into the light, and realize that the shooter was, indeed, Hans. I'd recognize those sideburns anywhere.

He smiles grimly, those once warm green eyes now hard and cold. I pull my gaze from him, and notice a pair of creamy legs sticking out from behind the desk. One foot is incased in a stiletto, the other bare.

I feel my chest squeeze. Elsa. She's not moving. That's a bad sign. Hans walks over to her unconscious form.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way Elsa. But you give me no choice." He raises the gun, pointing at the area where Elsa's head should be. "I had hoped we could work together. I guess that just wasn't meant to be. Goodbye Elsa."

He puts his finger on the trigger, and my breath catches in my throat. He's going to kill her. He's going to kill her without a second thought. I have to stop him. I fling open the door, and do the only thing I can think of in the moment.

I throw the poker.

The sound of the door slamming open catches Hans's attention. He looks up just as I throw the poker. Normally I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, but for some reason whatever gods there are were smiling down on me tonight. As Hans looks up, the poker hits its mark. His face. He utters a painful cry, before collapsing on the floor, out cold.

I stand in the doorway for a second, still comprehending what just happened, before running over to Elsa's prone form. As I round the desk, my heart drops. She's surrounded by a massive puddle of blood.

I quickly drop to my knees, turning her over onto her back as I fall into nurse-mode. I place my fingers to her throat, trying to find a pulse. I cry out in relief when I feel one. It's faint, but it's there. Thank God.

It doesn't take me long to locate the source of the bleeding. She has a small hole in her right shoulder. It doesn't look like it hit any organs or major arteries, but it is bleeding profusely. It always amazes me how such a small wound can cause so much trouble.

"Shit, shit, shit," I mutter to myself as I rip of my jacket and use it to try and staunch the bleeding. I feel a small amount of relief when she moans slightly in pain as I touch the wound. "Stay with me Els. J-just stay with me. It's gonna be okay. You're going to be okay."

As I apply pressure to the wound with one hand, I use the other, along with my teeth, to rip a makeshift bandage from my shirt. It's already ruined anyways, might as well put it to good use. I quickly take the strip, and wrap it twice around her shoulder, tight, before tying a knot to hold it in place.

I go to return pressure to her shoulder, when suddenly I feel something cold touch the back of my head. I hear a faint click, and I freeze.

"That's right, bitch. You know exactly what this is," I hear Hans say from behind me.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! _Why_  didn't I grab the gun!?

"Stand up," he commands.

I don't want to leave Elsa, for fear she will bleed out, but he doesn't give me a choice. When I hesitate to stand, he grabs my hair and launches me across the room. I cry out in pain, and land in a heap on the floor.

I look up in time to see Hans stalk over to me. I try to back away, but he reaches me before I make it far. He smiles down at me, cruel eyes filled with hate and anger. I notice the poker had broken his nose, smashing it and ruining his "pretty-boy" look.

"Anna! It's a pleasure to see you again. I'm afraid you've caught me and Elsa at a bad time. Unfortunately for you, that means you have to die now. Sorry about that," he says, sounding anything but sorry.

He points the gun at me, but before he gets a chance to fire, I kick out, hitting him in the knee cap.

"Fuck!" he yells, falling over. I take the chance to stand, and I try to run out the door.

Unfortunately, I'm too slow. Hans managed to stand the same time as me, and he reaches out, grabbing me by my braids, and pulling me back. My head snaps back from the force, and I fell myself falling. I reach my hand back, trying to break my fall. As my palm hits the floor, I hear a loud crack, and pain lances up my arm. I scream out in pain, holding my now broken wrist to my chest.

I look up at Hans, and fear fills my chest. He looks absolutely livid. He bends down, and grabs the collar of my shirt, using it to pull my face close to his.

"You're going to pay for that, you little bitch," he spits. "I'll make you wish you had never been born."

I look him dead in the eyes, praying that I don't look as scared as I feel, and spit in his face. In hindsight,  _maybe_  not the best idea. Hans reels back, dropping me to the floor. He wipes at his face in anger, before growling and place a kick to my ribs. Fuck that hurt.

I cough, curling into a ball, groaning in pain, as he kicks me over and over again, until his anger diminishes some. At some point I begin to spit up blood.

Finally, he stops, and seems to collect himself. He walks over to where he had dropped his gun, and picks it up. He turns, pointing the weapon at me, and smiles. At this point, I am too weak to stand, much less put up a fight. So this is it. This is how I die.

"Say Goodnight, Anna," he says mockingly, putting his finger on the trigger.

I close my eyes, waiting for the inevitable, but it never comes.

Instead, I hear a familiar voice. "Hey shithead!"

I open my eyes as Hans looks behind him surprised, to the source of the noise. As he does, Elsa swings the poker hard, connecting with Hans face, and knocking him back several feet. He hits the floor, and doesn't move.

I look up at Elsa, disbelief written all over my face. She looks down at me, features softening, and carefully walks over to me, offering her uninjured hand.

"Come on," she says, helping me to stand. "We need t-to get out of here. It's…not safe."

As we make our way to the door, she walks over to Hans, and reaches down to pick up the gun. She tucks it into the waistband of her skirt, and grabs my hand, pulling me out of the room. I’m still in shock at this point. Both from pain, and from seeing Elsa up and  _running_  down a hall with a freaking  _bullet_  in her shoulder. How the hell she is even walking is beyond me. I mean, I've never been shot, but I've heard from several sources that it fucking  _hurts._ I decide Elsa's kind of a badass.

We apparently reach the door Elsa was looking for, because opens it and pulls me inside. I look around, realizing the room we are in is an enormous garage, filled with every type of car you can imagine. If we weren't in a life or death situation, I would be drooling over the Lamborghini.

Elsa pulls me to the closest car, her Ferrari, and shoves me inside, before hopping in herself. She starts the car, opening the massive garage door, and floors it. We fly down the road, easily going over 100 mph. As we approach the gate, she speeds up rather than slows down.

"Hold on," she says, and I look over at her like she's insane.

Because she is. Insane. She's going to ram the freaking gates for fuck's sake! Maybe she lost more blood than I thought, and it's messing with her mind.

I fumble to throw on my seatbelt as quickly as I can with my broken wrist, and it clicks into place just as she hits the gate. We break through it and hit the road towards the city, me gritting my teeth as my wrist is jostled from the landing. We tear down the road, quiet filling the car.

I look over at Elsa, noticing her once white bandage is now stained dark red, and I see wetness dripping down the seat.

"Elsa," I say, concerned.

She ignores me, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Elsa!" I say again, this time more forcefully.

"What," she replies, still not looking at me.

"We need to go to a hospital—"

"No," she interrupts. "No hospital. Too dangerous."

"Elsa, you are going to bleed out if we don't get you some help," I deadpan.

"I'm fine, Anna," she says.

"At least let me drive," I respond, fearful that she might pass out again.

She doesn't say anything; she just pushes down farther on the gas pedal.

"Elsa, please, you've already lost a lot of blood—"

"I said I'm fine!" she growls, gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turn white.

It's quiet for a few minutes as we approach the city. Suddenly Elsa's head slumps forward as she falls unconscious.

"Shit!" I yell out, grabbing the wheel.

We turn sharply to the right, and the last thing I remember is heading straight for a light pole. I feel a sharp pain on my forehead, then nothing as darkness surrounds me.

 

*****line break*****

 

I wake after I don't know how long. I groan in pain, grabbing my head. Everything hurts. I pull my hand from my face, noticing there's blood on it. I must have cracked my head pretty hard on the dashboard.

I sit up and look over at Elsa. She's slumped over the steering wheel, a trail of blood running down her face, which is incredibly pale, even for her.

"Elsa," I grunt, wincing as I reach for her. She doesn't respond.

I panic for a moment before I realize her chest is rising and falling with shallow breaths. I need to get her out of here. I need to get her to a hospital.

I slowly unbuckle my seatbelt, and open my door. I make my way around to the driver's side, opening it, oh-so-carefully pulling Elsa out. I lay her down on the sidewalk, and look around for help. There's no one around. Why the hell are the streets empty? It's 7PM on a Friday night for Christ's sake!

I curse to myself, before I realize I know exactly where we are. The light post, the one we crashed into, is the same pole I pushed her into the day we met. I laugh. Not in amusement, but in relief. Miracle West is only about 40 blocks from here. I can carry Elsa the rest of the way to the hospital!

I smile in triumph, before realizing that I have to carry Elsa  _2 miles_  in the middle of winter, in my torn up t-shirt and pajama pants. With a broken wrist and possibly broken ribs. Shit. This is going to suck.

I sigh, and look back down at Elsa. Besides the blood, she almost looks as if she could be sleeping. As I watch her, I realize that no matter how impossible it might seem, I know I will do everything in my power to help her.

My mind now set, I squat next to her and, painfully, pick her up. My wrist and sides scream in pain when I lift Elsa's unconscious form, tears coming to my eyes, as I grit my teeth and bare her full weight. Surprisingly, she's incredibly light. I cradle her to my chest, and start walking.

After about twenty feet, I realize that this isn't going to work. Not with my wrist how it is. It's just too painful. An idea hits me, and I slowly, agonizingly, adjust Elsa to ride my on my back, piggyback style. Though this causes more pain in my ribs, it alleviates the pain in my wrist considerably. I know I am able to make it now, so I slowly begin to walk again, praying that I can make it to the hospital soon.

The journey is incredibly slow, and mind-numbingly painful. But I push through it. I can't let Elsa down. I can't let her die. I care about her too much.

As I walk, the cold starts to numb my body. At first I take it as a good thing. If I can't feel my wrist, then I can't feel the pain, right?

But after I stumble for the umpteenth time, I start to realize that there is a very real possibility of me having hypothermia. And as much as I want to believe that I am badass, I know that unless I make it to the hospital soon, I could very easily lose some digits.

After what seems like an eternity, I look up, and, to my great relief, I see the lights of the hospital. It's only about 200 yards away. I laugh in triumph, and pick up my speed, happiness warming my body enough to move just a little faster.

"Hang in there Els," I say, huffing from my efforts, "we're almost there."

I hear her groan and mutter something unintelligible, before tightening her arms around me, if only slightly. This gives me just enough motivation to, finally, make it through the doors.

"Help! Someone help! Please!" I yell, the second I am inside. I don't even allow myself to feel the warmth of the heated air.

"Oh my God,  _Anna_?" I hear someone say, and I look up to see Snow running towards me.

"Snow, please help. She's hurt bad; she's been shot," I say, as Snow gets closer. She and a few of the other nurses carefully pull Elsa off my back and place her on a gurney.

I watch helplessly as they wheel her away, wishing I could be of more help.

"Anna," says Snow, forcing me to look at her. "Anna, what the hell happened? You look terrible!"

I stare at her for a moment, still in shock over what's happened. I open my mouth to answer her, when suddenly I feel my injuries all catch up to me at once. I stumble back, and the next thing I know, the floor is rushing up to meet me.

"Anna!" I hear someone scream. Probably Snow.

I feel strong hands catch me, and lay me gently to the ground. Snow's head appears over me, floating in front of my eyes as everything starts to become foggy.

"Hang in there Anna, we're going to get you some help," she says, her voice weirdly distorted. I want to say something back, tell her to focus on Elsa, not me, but suddenly blackness takes me and I know no more.

And for the second time that evening, I lose consciousness.

 


	9. Chapter eight

Chapter 8

 

_Oh, won't you stay with me?_

_'Cause you're all I need_

_This ain't love, it's clear to see_

_But darling stay with me_

_-"Stay With Me"_

_Sam Smith_

 

The first thing I notice is a soft beeping. At first, I think it's incredibly annoying, but as time passes, it actually becomes quite soothing. It might be the fact that it matches the pace of my heart. Like it's trying to remind me that I'm still alive.

After listening to the beeping for what feels like hours, but could've been minutes, I start to notice other things. Things like how the surface I'm on is  _really_  soft. Like, I swear this could be a freaking cloud. I notice that I don't feel any pain right now. And for that, I am incredibly thankful. Broken bones hurt.

Wait…why would I have broken bones? I mentally shrug. It's not important enough for me to figure out right this second.

I notice someone is whispering. I didn't catch it before because I was too enamored with the beeping, but now that I know it's there, I can hear little bits and pieces of what's being said.

"…not good…critical condition…still in surgery…" the voice says.

Surgery? Who's in surgery? Where am I?

And then it all hits me. Elsa, Hans, the gun, everything. Remembering the events of last night—at least I think it was last night, who know how long I've been out—is what finally gives me the energy to open my eyes.

The first thing I see is a huge bright light. I groan softly in pain as I am blinded, turning my face away from the offending light. I hear someone gasp.

"She's awake! Kristoff, Punz!" I hear that same voice say.

I open my eyes again to find Snow, Kristoff, and Rapunzel looking at me as if I was baby Jesus himself.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" I grin weakly, causing them to sigh in relief.

"Anna! You're okay! Oh my God, you scared the shit out of us!" exclaims Rapunzel, wiping at her eyes. I notice that her nose is red and that her eyes are puffy, as if she's been crying. "Don't  _ever_ do that again!"

"Sorry, Punz." I say as I smile and try to sit up.

"Whoa there, Anna," says Snow, gently pushing me back down. "You need your rest. You've had a rough night."

I fall back with a soft thump, too weak to offer much resistance.

"Yeah," says Kristoff, with a huge smile, "You look like you ran into a bear with chainsaws for hands."

"Thanks Kris," I grunt sarcastically, still smiling softly. "That's every girls' dream. To be told they look like shit."

Kristoff chuckles and I look over at Snow.

"So…how bad is it?" I ask slowly. I'm not sure I really want the answer.

Snow winces.

"Well," she says, "you have three broken ribs, your wrist was broken in two places, you have several lacerations on your hand, and you suffered a severe concussion. You've been unconscious for about 4 hours."

She finishes her list, and I grimace. I'm glad I know my status, but that's not what I was asking about.

"I meant Elsa. How is she? Where is she?" I say.

I don't like the way the three of them avoid my eyes.

"Snow?" I say looking over to her, knowing she probably has the most information.

She looks up at me sadly.

"Damn it, Snow! What is it? Tell me!" I say, panic slowly bubbling in my chest.

Was I too late? Did I take too long on getting her here? Did…Did she…? I suddenly feel a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," says Rapunzel, smiling gently. "It's nothing like that."

"She's alive," says Snow, and I feel some of my panic dissipate. "But she's in critical condition. She's still in surgery right now."

I breathe a sigh of relief. She's alive. She's still fighting. Thank God.

"What are her chances?" I ask. I know it won't help me feel better—in fact it may actually make me feel worse—but I need to know.

I need to know if she'll make it.

"She…she lost a lot of blood Anna," says Snow softly, "right now they don't know if she's going to make it. It's a miracle she was even breathing when you brought her in."

"That's not what I asked Snow," I say, feeling my gut wrench.

She sighs.

"Her chances right now…they're about 50/50."

I feel my heart squeeze. 50/50? It's…it's not terrible…but it's not great either. I wish they were better. But there's still a chance that she can make it. That she'll survive this. And that allows me some measure of peace. If only a little.

I am about to ask Snow more about Elsa's condition, when the door to my room suddenly opens, and the Weasel himself struts in, followed by two cops.

"Ms. Christiansen, it's good to see you up and about," he says, sounding anything but happy. "These two gentlemen would like to ask you some questions, if you are feeling up to it of course."

The tone he is using suggests that I don't have much of a choice.

"Sir, perhaps now's not a good time," says Snow cautiously. She too, must have heard the demand in his request.

"Well, that's not really your call now is it, Nurse White?" he sneers, and she shrinks back.

He looks at me expectantly. Guess I'm not getting out of this.

"Yeah, sure. I can answer some questions," I say quickly, looking at the cops. "Shoot."

Dr. Weasleton nods his head in approval, and exits the room. One of the cops, the shorter of the two, clears his throat.

"Good Morning, Ms. Christiansen. I am Officer Yoa, and this is my partner Officer Ling."

"It's nice to meet you," I say formally.

Yoa dips his head in return. "We would like to get started if that's all right with you?"

I nod my head, and he continues.

"Let's start with you giving us a full recount of everything that happened last night," he says, pulling out a pen and note pad.

I nod my head, and tell him everything that happened from the moment I exited the cab that evening. It takes a while. He doesn't say anything as I talk, just nods and writes, his hand moving left to right furiously as he tries to keep up with my words.

"…and then Elsa passed out, and I tried to grab the wheel, but we hit a light pole, and I was knocked unconscious," I say, throwing my hands around as I speak. "When I woke up, I noticed we weren't too far from the hospital, so I carried her the rest of the way."

Yoa stops writing, and looks at me in disbelief.

"You carried her, for  _two_  miles, with 3 broken ribs and a broken wrist?" he asks skeptically.

"Uh-huh," I say.

They look at each other, then back at me.

"And you expect us to believe that?" says Ling.

"Well, yeah," I say defensively, "it's the truth."

"Yeah, right," says Yoa, clearly not believing me. "We just have a few more questions."

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever," I huff, annoyed by their lack of faith.

"Why were you at Ms. Arendelle's house?" he asked.

I duck my head, slightly embarrassed.

"Well…we had a…fight…the day before, and she wanted to talk about it," I say, quietly.

"You had a fight?" asks Ling, suddenly looking very interested.

"Yeah," I say slowly.

"And you just happened to be there the same time that Mr. Westerguard  _supposedly_  shot Ms. Arendelle?" he pushes.

"…Yes…"

What is he getting at? For some reason, this seemed to confirm something for the cops.

"Ms. Christiansen, do you or have you ever had a history of violence?" asks Yoa.

"WHAT!?" Rapunzel shouts. "Don't  _even_  tell me you are  _seriously_  considering Anna _,_ Anna of all people, a suspect _!_  She is the nicest, gentlest, warmest person ever! _"_

I blush at the compliment.

"We're just covering all of our bases, Miss," says Ling.

"She's the one who saved Elsa's life in the first place!" yells Kristoff, turning red with anger.

"Possibly out of regret?" Ling replies.

"Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here!?" I shout, causing everyone to fall silent. "Look, I'm sure you're just trying to do your job, but I didn't shoot Elsa! I could never hurt her! And frankly, I feel a little insulted that you would think I did! I told you it was Hans. If you would just dust the gun for prints I'm sure—"

Yoa cuts me off. "What gun?"

"T-the gun that was tucked in Elsa's waistband. I told you she grabbed it before we left the mansion." I say, startled by the sudden interruption.

"There was no gun in Ms. Arendelle's waist band," says Ling.

"What? But…but I saw her put it there! Maybe, it fell out in the car?" I ask, starting to feel anxious about the way they are looking at me.

Like I'm some sort of criminal.

"I say again, Ms. Christiansen, there was no gun. Not on Ms. Arendelle's person, nor in her vehicle," answers Ling.

Now I'm freaking out. This doesn't look good. Us fighting, her being shot, the gun going missing. Not good at all. I'm about to reply, when suddenly my door bursts open, and Cinderella comes rushing in.

"She made it!" shouts the blond, startling everyone in the room. "Elsa made it! She's alive!"

It takes me a moment to absorb what she's saying.

"Elsa's…okay? She's going to be all right?" I ask, still not quite comprehending what's being said.

"Yes!" breathes Cinderella happily, "She's going to be just fine. It was touch and go for a while there, but she pulled through. She's in the ICU right now."

I let out a short laugh, tears of relief coming to my eyes. She's okay! She's going to be okay! I finally allow the last of my anxiety melt away at the news.

"How is she doing? When can I see her?" I say, struggling to sit up, only to have Snow push me back down again.

"She's doing well. Doc says she can have visitors within the hour," answers Cinderella.

I smile, big and proud, until I hear someone cough. It's Yoa.

"Uh-hum," he says, "We aren't finished, Ms. Christiansen. We still have questions for you."

Kristoff walks over to them, big and intimidating.

"No," he growls, causing them to flinch, "you don't. You're done for today. So leave. Now."

I almost feel sorry for the cops. Almost. Kristoff can be quite intimidating at times. They make their way to the door grudgingly.

"We aren't done yet Ms. Christiansen. Expect to hear from us again," says Yoa, before walking out the door.

And with that, they are, finally, gone. I sigh in both relief and frustration. How could they think I would do something like this? Are they freaking crazy? I shake my head at the predicament. But the issue is pushed from my mind when Cinderella speaks again.

"Hey Anna, why don't we see if we can't sneak you in to see your girlfriend?" she says, a cheeky smile on her face.

I'm too relieved to care that she's poking fun at me. I just can't wait to see Elsa. I might be relieved to hear she's okay, but I don't think I'll be a hundred percent until I see her for myself.

After making me eat and keep down the sub-par hospital food, Snow finally lets me go see Elsa. She pushes me in a wheel chair as I bounce in anticipation.

As we enter Elsa's room, I'm not sure what to expect. I mean, logically, I know. How can I be a nurse and not? I know she'll be hooked up to several machines. I know she probably won't be conscious. I know it could be days before she wakes up. But that doesn't make it any easier to actually see.

The first thing I hear when Snow opens the door, just like when I woke, is the soft sound of a heart monitor beeping in time with her pulse. And just like before, the sound is incredibly soothing.

Snow pushes me over to Elsa's bedside and leaves the room, closing the door softly behind her. I lean over, setting my elbows on the bed, my face resting on my hands and I just watch her. God, I'm such a creep. But I can't help it. Her beauty, mixed with my relief, makes it incredibly difficult to do much else.

You know, for someone who just went through hell, she looks incredibly peaceful. I notice that this is the first time I've ever seen her hair down. I wish she would wear it like this more often. It's splayed across her pillow, surrounding her like a soft blanket. If it was at all possible, it makes her look even more beautiful. My fingers itch with the need to feel if it is as soft as it looks.

Slowly, watching to make sure she doesn't wake, I reach out my hand, and weave it through her platinum locks. I was right. It is  _soooo_  soft. It's like touching a cloud. I play with her hair for a few moments, enjoying the feel of it in my hands.

"Hey Els," I say quietly as I stroke her hair. "We never really got our talk, huh? Well I guess now's as good a time as any, seeing as you can't interrupt me."

I feel tears well up in my eyes as I take a deep breath and continue.

"I, um, I don't know why you didn't tell me about…about Hans, and right now, I don't really care. We can figure that out later. All I care about right now is you getting better. And putting that bastard away for life. I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to know that…well not that I forgive you, I don't think I'm quite ready for that, but that I can at least forget. For now. Because, I really care about you," I feel the first tear make its way down my face. "Just…Just please get better. I don't want to lose you."

I wipe the tears trailing down my face, and sniffle. I stay and watch her for a few more hours before Snow forces me to bed.

"You need your sleep, Anna," she says, helping me onto the bed. "You'll never heal if you keep running around. You can go back and see Elsa tomorrow."

"It's kind of hard to  _run_  around in a wheel chair," I reply sarcastically as I pull the sheets up to my chin.

Despite my objections, I can feel the strong pull of good Ol' Mr. Sandman. I guess I didn't realize how exhausted I was. Soon, I am sound asleep, thoughts of Elsa running through my dreams.

 

*****line break*****

 

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Coming!" I shout, as I run to the door, wincing as my side twinges in pain.

I've decided that of all the injuries I have, have had, or ever will have, broken ribs are the worst.

"Hey girl! How are you feeling?" asks Rapunzel the second I open the door.

"Since you asked me twenty minutes ago over the phone? Fine," I smirk, causing her to stick her tongue at me as she pushes her way into my apartment, carrying ice cream and pizza.

God, when was the last time we had a girls night like this? It's been too long.

"Smartass," she says as she passes me.

I laugh and follow her over to the couch, slowly sitting, as to not disturb my side.

"Any news on Elsa?" she asks as I get comfortable.

I sigh, my mood instantly dropping.

"Nothing," I say dejectedly. "She's still just…sleeping. The doctors have run all the tests, and they say there's nothing wrong, that she'll wake up when she's ready, but it's been a week, Punz. I'm worried. And on top of that," I continue, my anger building, "the cops have been all over me lately. I guess somehow Hans managed to get his 12 older brothers to give him an alibi for the night she was shot, so they're not even looking at him anymore."

I feel her put a hand on my shoulder, before, carefully, pulling me into a hug.

"It's going to be okay, Anna. You just have to trust the doctors. You more than anyone should know that. If they say Elsa will wake up, then she will. Have faith. And as for Hans, don't fret so much. There's no way they would even think about accusing you, especially after Elsa wakes up and confirms your story. You did nothing wrong, so stop worrying. They'll get the bastard."

I smile, and hug her back, wishing for all the world it was Elsa hugging me instead. She pulls away, and wipes a tear from my cheek.

"All right!" she says, clapping her hands. "We have two choices tonight. Nightmare on Elms Street, or Friday the 13th."

I laugh at her picks; it's no secret that I absolutely  _adore_  horror films. No matter how bad.

"Ummm," I say tapping my finger to my chin, "I could really use some good Ol' Freddy Kruger horror."

Punz smiles knowingly. It's my favorite movie. She really knows how to lift a girl's spirits.

After we finish watching Freddy chop up high-school students, and inhale a tub of ice cream and one whole pizza each, Rapunzel takes her leave.

"'Night, Anna," she says, waving as she walks out the door. "Don't forget to call if you need anything!"

"I remember from the last thousand times you told me!" I yell back as the door closes, leaving me in silence.

I sigh and begin cleaning up the mess. After I finish, I head to my room, and get ready for bed, thinking about Elsa the whole time. I wish she would wake up soon. I hate seeing her like this…I miss her.

Soon, I hop—well more like painfully crawl—into bed and pull the covers over my head. I'm asleep before I know it.

 

*****line break*****

 

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I shoot up, startled awake by the loud banging on my door. I cry out in pain, holding my ribs and letting out a steady stream of curses until I can breathe properly again.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming!" I yell angrily, still sore about my ribs.

I get out of bed and make my way to the door, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. What time is it? As I pass the kitchen, I check the clock. **2:15AM**...Are you fucking kidding me? It's two o'clock in the fucking morning!? Whoever this is, it had better be pretty fucking important, or they are in for a world of hurt, broken ribs or no.

I reach the door and open it, ready to scream at the culprit. My jaw drops as I take in the hospital gown clad figure standing in front of me.

" _Elsa!?"_


	10. Chapter nine

Chapter 9

 

_Your magic white rabbit_

_Has left its writing on the wall_

_We follow like Alice_

_And just keep diving down the hole_

_-"White Rabbit"_

_Egypt Central_

 

" _Elsa!?"_

I can't believe my eyes. Elsa's awake. Elsa's  _awake!_ It's silent for a second while I try to process the scene in front of me.  She looks shocked, one arm resting haphazardly in a sling, the other is still raised to knock, like she didn't expect the door to open.

Suddenly I'm surrounded by white as Elsa pulls me into a tight hug with her good arm. My ribs twinge in protest, but it's pushed to the back of my mind as I'm nearly tackled by the billionaire.

"What—" I stammer, too surprised to hug her back.

"Oh my God, Anna. You're okay!" she whispers, holding me tighter, if it is even possible. "You're okay."

She keeps whispering, more to herself than to me, as she holds me close. It's then I realize my shirt is starting to get damp. I hear a small sniffle, and my heart clenches. She's crying. Elsa's awake, and she's  _crying._ I slowly bring my arms up and hug her back, too stunned to do much else.

"H-hey, it's…it's okay…I'm fine, Els," I try to say reassuringly. "And…and you're awake! God, you had me so worried!"

She doesn't respond, just lets out a low keening whine that nearly breaks my heart. I hold her close as she cries, my mind still reeling with both elation and complete and udder shock. Slowly, she calms down, and I pull back, keeping my hands on her shoulders.

She looks up at me with those clear blue eyes, tears stains on her cheeks, and my breath hitches. Even when she's a complete wreck, she's still beautiful.

I quickly pull her inside, closing the door behind us, and sit her on the couch. I take my seat next to her, keeping her hands in mine. I notice she's freezing cold to the touch. Well, more so than usual.

"You're okay," she whispers again, tears still running down her face.

She reaches up and cups my cheek with a cold hand, looking at me in both happiness and disbelief. Before I can say anything, she's hugging me again, nearly throwing me off the couch.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she says, over and over again.

"I-it's okay, Els," I stammer, still trying to recover from her unexpected assault.

I try to think of something to say, when suddenly, it hits me. Elsa's here. _Here_. In  _my_  apartment. Which means she's not at the hospital. Where she  _should_  be. I pull away again, as concern rushes through me.

"Elsa, why aren't you at the hospital?"

She looks down, shame apparent on her face, but says nothing. I try again.

"How did you even get here?" I say incredulous.

This time mumbles something incoherent, still refusing to look me in the eyes.

"What?" I say, ducking to meet her gaze.

She take a breath, and looks up at me uncertainly.

"I-I said, I walked," she says in a small voice.

"Walked!?" I nearly yell, "How the hell did you  _walk_  here? Are you fucking  _insane?_ It like a million degrees below zero outside! And that's besides the fact that you recently had a freakin  _bullet_  in your shoulder! And what the hell are you even doing  _here_? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're okay, but seriously Els!"

She flinches as I continue my rant.

"And on top of that, you've been I a fucking  _coma_  for the last week! You shouldn't even be out of  _bed_ , much less walking around in the dead of winter in a night gown! What the fuck were you thinking Elsa?"

It's silent for a moment as I pause to catch my breath, and Elsa just looks guiltily at her feet, which I notice are bare. Are you kidding me? No wonder she's so damn cold. The girl doesn't even have fucking shoes on!

"God Elsa, you must be freezing" I say shaking my head in disbelief as I throw a blanket over the shoulders.

I notice she smiles slightly before responding.

"The cold never really bothered me."

I look at her for a second, before I grab her hand, carefully pulling her from the couch.

"Come on," I say, tugging her out the door after shoving some slippers and a jacket into her hands. "I'm taking you back to the hospital."

I feel her rip her hand out of my grip. "NO!"

I look back, startled by her sudden outburst. She looks absolutely terrified.

"N-no hospitals. I-it's too dangerous," she stammers.

I look at her incredulous.

"Elsa, you're still recovering. You need to be in the hospital. And they're not dangerous, they're the exact opposite of that! They're there to help you," I say exasperated.

The expression on her face just about breaks my heart.

"Please," she utters in a small broken voice. "I-I can't go back."

My frustration is instantly replaced with concern. What is she so afraid of?

The room is filled with silence as I try to decide what to do. She needs to go back. She's still hurt. She still needs help. But how can I take her back there when she has that  _look_  on her face. I sigh and run my hand through my bangs. I slowly walk back over to her, and sit us down on the couch.

"Alright, Els. I won't make you go back there…for now," I say softly.

The panicked look on her face fades slightly at my words.

"But I need to know what the hell is going on. I mean, you were freaking shot Elsa! And I got the crap kicked outta me trying to save you! You can't expect me to just ignore that!"

She looks down at her hands. "You're right."

"I mean, I get if you don't want to, but—wait, what?" I say, surprised by her sudden acceptance.

"I said you're right, Anna," she says, meeting my gaze. "I-It's my fault you were thrown into all this. I…I can't tell you everything…you wouldn't believe me if I did…but I can tell you enough to keep you alive."

I reel back as if I had been slapped.

"What the hell do you mean keep me  _alive?_ " I breathe.

"Hans knows you saw him. He, and the people he works for won't stop until both of us are dead. They don't like loose ends," says Elsa, gazing at me guiltily.

She looks at the door nervously, pulling the blanket back over her shoulders and holding it tight. I shoot up from the couch, her words scaring me more than I care to admit.

"W-we have to do something!" I stammer, pacing around the room. "We have to call the police!"

"We can't," says Elsa, causing me to stop and look at her.

"What do you mean we  _can't_!?" I ask, my voice breaking.

"I mean the police can't be trusted," replies Elsa.

I stutter half formed words for a few moments, before I am able to complete a sentence.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on Elsa," I finally say through clenched teeth.

I don't mean to be short with her. I mean, I'm not angry…not really. But she basically just said that I have a big red target on my back. So I'm a little shaken…Oh who am I kidding? I'm fucking terrified.

Elsa just looks at me sadly, like she expected this reaction.

"I will tell you, Anna…but I need your help first," she says, and I almost scream in frustration.

I mean, are you freaking kidding me?

"Seriously Els?" I hiss, "You just barge in here, tell me my  _life_  is in danger, and expect me to help you without any explanation!?"

"I didn't say I wouldn't explain anything," she snaps, looking somewhat hurt, "I said I needed your help first. It'll make it easier for you to understand."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, and debate whether or not I am going to kick her out. I decide not to. No matter how angry I am, I can't just throw her out in the cold. My conscience won't let me. I sigh, finally sitting back on the couch. I look up into those big blue eyes, and I know there's no way I can deny her.

"I…I'll help you Elsa. But you have to  _promise_  me that after we do whatever it is you need to do, you'll explain everything," I hold up my hand to stop her interruption, "No matter how insane or unbelievable you think it is. I want to know—need to know—what's going on. Okay?"

Elsa's quiet for a moment, before slowly nodding in agreement.

"Okay," she says softly.

I hold out my good hand. "Shake on it."

She eye's my hand warily before taking it in her hand. I nod in approval before dropping my arm.

"All right," I say, clasping my hands, "What do you need?"

 

*****line break*****

 

" _Elsa!"_  I hiss, trying to jog behind her. "Elsa wait up!"

She ignores me, and continues weaving through the trees as if I had said nothing. I curse to myself, and try to speed up as much as my ribs allow. How the hell can she move so fast with her injuries!? God, I swear she's like, superhuman or something.

"Elsa, come on!" I say a little louder.

This time she stops long enough to put her finger to her lips, effectively silencing me. I grumble, and continue to trip my way over several dead branches as quietly as I can. Which isn't very.

Soon, we reach our destination. I look through a gap in the forestry, and the first thing I notice is the bright yellow police tape. God, I can't believe she convinced me to sneak her into a crime scene. This is worse than the time Kristoff convinced me to hop the fence to that creepy deserted carnival. Why is it  _always_  me? I swear the things I do for the people I care about.

I shake my head, and study the area. Elsa's mansion looks completely empty. At the risk of sounding cliché…

"It's quiet…too quiet," says Elsa.

Damn, she beat me to the punch.

"Elsa," I whisper, still trying to catch my breath. "Why did we have to go the back way? Couldn't we have just gone up the driveway like, I dunno,  _normal_  people?"

"They might've seen us. There's no way they aren't watching the house. They know I need to come back," she says, eyes trained on the building, as if she's waiting for something.

"Who knows?" I push, hoping to finally get something other than the same cryptic answer I've been getting for the last few hours.

"Them," replies Elsa, her tone suggesting that it's now time to shut it.

I sigh, but do as she wishes. We watch the house for a few more minutes, the silence surrounding us like a thick blanket.

As I wait, I study Elsa. I realize that this is the first—and probably the only—time I've ever seen her in, well, normal clothes. The hoodie, the jeans, the ratty old sneakers. It's really, what’s the word? Oh yeah, cute. It’s really cute. Makes her look like a normal person, not some rich, hot-shot CEO-in-training. I like it. And the fact that they are mine doesn't hurt either.

Surprisingly, my clothes fit her quite well, despite being a little short in the pants department. Almost too well. Especially around her…I glance down, then quickly look away, my face turning scarlet, as I usher my thoughts in a different direction. After all, now's  _really_  not the time. I mean seriously, Anna. It's not like your some horny teenage boy. Pull yourself together. Sheesh.

Suddenly, as if deciding the coast is clear, Elsa throws the hood of my borrowed sweatshirt up to hide her hair, and begins to move towards the back door, motioning for me to follow. I nearly yelp in surprise, before complying, my face still bright red.

We reach it without any trouble. I try the door. Locked. Of course. I didn't really think it'd be that easy anyways. Elsa reaches up under the hood, then curses silently, before looking at me.

"Got any bobby pins?" she asks, still whispering.

Luckily I always keep a few on me, just in case. A girl can never be too prepared. I nod, and pull a few out of my pocket, handing them to her. She smiles in thanks, before dropping to her knees in front of the lock, and pushing two of the pins in. What the hell is she  _doing?_

I want to ask, but she looks so concentrated, I don't want to disturb her. It's quiet for a few seconds, except for her muttering something about…tumblers? Suddenly there's a loud  _click!_  And the door swings wide open, closely followed by my jaw. Elsa knows how to pick locks!? What the fuck!? Who the hell is this chick!?

Elsa puts a finger under my chin, and pushes my mouth closed with a small smirk, before slowly walking into the house. I stand dazed for a moment, before quickly following suit. I notice we came in through the kitchen door. Elsa quickly takes advantage of the situation, and grabs two large knives, handing one to me.

"Just in case," she says softly.

I carefully take the weapon—not too sure what she expects me to do with it if anything happens—and follow her through the foyer and up the stairs, checking each room and dark corner for lurking bad guys. The house appears to be just as deserted as it looked from the outside.

Slowly, Elsa starts to relax. Soon we reach, what I assume is, the room she is looking for. She quickly ushers me in, before closing and locking the door. I look around. I notice a huge bloodstain. Suddenly I feel really,  _really_  uncomfortable. This is the same room Elsa was shot in.

"H-hey Els?" I say timidly, unable to take my eyes from the stain. "Did we really have to come in  _here_?"

Elsa turns around, and grimaces when she notices what I'm staring at.

"Unfortunately, yes. What I need is in here," she says, a scowl on her face.

She walks over to one of the bookcases behind the desk, and begins looking for…whatever it is she's looking for. I follow, and, as I watch her search, I realize something.

"Elsa?" I say quietly.

She turns her head slightly my way to indicate she's listening, but her eyes continue to roam the shelves.

"Why am I here? I mean, you obviously don't need my help, so why'd you tell me that you did?" I ask.

This, apparently, is enough to get her to look at me.

"I need you here in case things go wrong, Anna," she replies, looking at me like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

If I wasn't confused before, I sure as hell am now.

"In case things go wrong? What the hell does that mean? What could I possibly do if—?"

_CRASH!_

I feel all the blood drain from my face.

"Shit!" curses Elsa, turning back to the bookshelf.

She frantically starts pulling books and knick-knacks off the shelves, throwing them around the room as she continues her search. As she does, I quickly run to the door, and lock it, putting a chair up against the handle for extra support.

"Come on, come on!" growls Elsa, becoming more and more reckless in her search. "Where is it!?"

I hear shouts from somewhere in the house, but I push it out of my mind, and run over to Elsa.

"Elsa, we need to get out of here," I say.

She ignores me, and continues looking, muttering to herself.

"Elsa," I say, forcing her to look at me. "We have to leave, like  _now!_ "

She glares at me, before pulling herself from my grip and going back to her search.

"Not yet," she says, pulling another book off the shelf. "I need to find it. I can't let them get their hands on it."

I growl in frustration. I guess we aren't going anywhere until she finds the damn thing.

"Well, let me help. What does it look like? What are you looking for?" I ask, trying to remain calm as I hear the voices get closer.

We both jump in fear when someone jiggles the door handle, before banging on the door.

"OPEN THIS DOOR ELSA!" someone yells. Someone sounding suspiciously like Hans.

Elsa ignores him and turns back to me, looking like she just decided something important.

"Blue box," she says, hurriedly.

I look at her confused, and she huffs.

"It's a small blue box. With a snowflake on it. It's about the size of an index card."

Oh. I nod in understanding, and run over to the other bookshelf, mimicking her as I begin to throw things this way and that. I try to ignore the loud banging, and screaming coming from the door. I'm not very successful.

"ELSA!" roars Hans, and I hear the terrifying sound of wood cracking.

I turn to look at the door, and see the head of an ax sticking through. My eyes widen, and I turn back, looking even more frantically.

"Shit, shit, shit," I cry, my hands trembling in fear.

Then, I see it. Hiding behind a rather large dictionary. The blue box. I quickly grab it, and run over to Elsa.

"Elsa! Elsa I got it!" I shout, and she turns to me, checking to make sure I'm right.

Her eyes light up, and she takes the box, just as the door busts open. Our heads snap up, and we see Hans and two other men force their way into the room.

"Fuck!" yells Elsa, and she grabs my hand, pulling me towards another door.

We rush through, and close it just as Hans reaches us. I quickly lock the door, and look behind me to see where this door leads. My heart sinks. A closet. We're in a fucking closet. Oh my God, we're going to die.

"Elsa," I whimper.

She looks at me sympathetically.

"It's going to be okay, Anna," she says.

We both jump as Hans begins to speak, no longer yelling.

"You have nowhere else to run, girls," he says, his voice dripping with distain. "Just give me the key, and I promise I won't kill you."

It's a lie. I know it is…wait, key? What key? I turn to Elsa to ask her what the hell she's talking about, when I see her open the small box. Inside sits a small key, the end of it fashioned to look like a snowflake. Oh, that key.

It's…it's beautiful! I swear it almost looks like it could be made of ice! And…is it  _glowing?_ The small object is indeed letting off a small amount of light, bathing our faces in a soft blue. It's amazing, really. But…it's still just a key. A key that I am basically giving my life to protect. Am I the only one who see's something wrong here?

"Elsa, are you seriously telling me that I'm going to die over a fucking key!?" I hiss, too angry, too upset, too  _scared_  to do anything else.

I feel tears well up in my eyes.

"No, Anna," replies Elsa, wiping a tear from my cheek. "You're not going to die. I promise you, we will be okay."

Before I can say anything, she turns, quickly taking the key out, and puts it into the keyhole on the closet door. Somehow it fits perfectly. My eyes widen as I realize what she's planning. I reach out, and grasp her hand, stopping her from turning it.

"Elsa, what the hell are you doing!?" I say in panic.

She looks at me with those big, blue eyes.

"Do you trust me?" she asks.

I freeze.

"What?"

"I said, do you trust me?" she says again.

Do I? I mean, after everything she's done to me, do I really trust her? I don't even really know her.

As I look at her face, I realize something. I didn't go to the mansion a week ago because Elsa made me. And I sure as hell wasn't forced tonight. I could've said no at any time, and Elsa would've left. Just like that. Elsa smiles, like she knows what I'm thinking. She holds out her hand, willing me to take it. I look down, then back up into her eyes as I place my palm in hers.

"Yes," I reply. "Yes, I…I trust you, Elsa."

She squeezes my hand, and turns the key. The door flings open, and I flinch, expecting Hans to come barreling through. But he doesn't. Instead, the door opens to reveal a wall of swirling blues. I gasp, but I don't have time to admire it. Suddenly, the blues turn black, and I feel a strong wind start pulling me towards the open door.

"Elsa," I say, thoroughly freaked out.

She starts to respond, but stops when I start to hyperventilate. I step back, tripping over  _something_ , and end up on my back, looking up to see Elsa's worried face, her hair whipping around her as the wind picks up.

She seems to be saying something, but I don't quite catch it over the wind. I'm having a hard time getting my breathing under control. Vaguely, I'm aware that I'm probably having a panic attack, as we are pulled closer and closer to the door.

I feel darkness surrounding me. Seriously? Again? I think I grumble in frustration, then, I black out.


	11. Chapter ten

Chapter 10

 

_I'm freaking out_

_Where am I now_

_Upside down, and I can't stop it now_

_You can't stop me now_

_-"Alice"_

_Avril Lavigne_

 

The first time I wake, I feel like I'm floating. I open my eyes slightly, and notice I'm tucked up against  _someone's_ chest, but I'm too delirious to figure out who. All I know, is they are definitely male. The chest is too solid to be a woman's.

I note that I'm incredibly comfortable in their arms. Still groggy, I try to figure out what's going on. The man is running. I can hear him panting, feel each strike of his feet on the ground. I see flashes of blues and whites as he runs through, what I think, is snow. I look up, and see a familiar shag of straw blond hair.

"K-Kristoff?" I mutter, not sure if it's really my friend.

He looks down at me, and smiles real big, relief clear in his eyes.

"Hey feisty pants," he says affectionately.

I'm thrown off by the tone in his voice. It's not like Kristoff doesn't care for me or anything, but he's never talked to me like  _that_  before. It was almost…lovingly? I try to puzzle it out, but my head hurts too much, and the rocking movement caused by Kristoff's steps is actually quite soothing.

I feel myself slowly fading back out of consciousness, mumbling something as I tighten my grip on my friend's shirt. As I'm lulled to sleep, I hear a soft voice coming from somewhere to Kristoff's right.

"Hang on, Anna," they say, panting. "Just hang on."

I'm out before I can process that the voice belonged to Elsa.

 

*****line break*****

 

The next time I wake, it's incredibly slow. I try several times to open my eyes, but I just feel to lethargic. Eventually I give up and just lay there. I can feel the warmth of sun on my face, and hear the sounds of bird's singing.

Am I outside? No, the surface I'm on is too soft to be the ground. Like seriously, this is probably the softest thing I've ever been on. It makes it harder to get up.

I mentally sigh, and resign myself to falling back to sleep, when I hear the voices. I can't quite make out what's being said, but I can tell that there is more than one person talking. And it sounds like they're having an argument. Suddenly, I hear a door slam open, and the voices are almost right next to me. I do my best not to flinch as I listen to them.

"You can't keep disappearing and reappearing like this Your Majesty! It's not safe!" says one voice. It sounds like a woman.

"I think I know what I can and cannot do, Gerda. I am the Queen after all," replies the second voice—also a woman—venomously.

"All the more reason for me to be concerned! I'm just worried about your wellbeing, Your Majesty. You keep going on these so call 'quests," I swear I can hear Gerda —where have I heard that name before? —putting up air quotes, "and you always return less than whole! This time you show up with a strange wound, toting, who you claim to be is, the missing Princess!"

"I don't  _claim_  anything. It is her, Gerda," snaps the Queen and, though I can't quite put my finger on who, I know I've heard her voice before. I puzzle over it, still too groggy to come up with an answer.

"Your Majesty, I know how much you want it to be, but it's not her. You know it's not possible," replies Gerda, in a tired voice. It almost sounds like they've had this conversation before. "Whoever this is, she is not the Princess."

"I've spent time with her Gerda. It's her. I swear it," replies the Queen.

"It can't be. You know it can't," says Gerda.

"Then how do you explain the fact that she looks  _exactly_  like her?" the Queen nearly yells.

"Magic can do strange things. And you more than anyone should know that looks can be deceiving."

Magic? What do they mean by magic? Everyone knows there's no such thing. Must be a code-word for something.

"Please, my Queen, just let it go—" starts Gerda when the Queen cuts her off.

"No. I won't. It  _is_  her. It's my Anna," I feel my heart quicken at the sound of my name, "I know it is. And there's nothing you can say that will convince me otherwise."

If I wasn't awake before, I am now. Hearing my name being said with such care and possession sent adrenaline running through my veins. Who the hell is this woman? And how the hell does she know my name?

It's quiet for a few moments, and I can almost taste the tension in the room. Gerda speaks again, in a softer tone.

"Your Majesty, I know how much it would mean to you if she was alive—"

"Gerda, don't—" starts the Queen.

"Because it would mean that  _he_  is still alive," finishes Gerda, so soft I almost don't hear it.

I hear the second person inhale sharply.

"The King is gone, Elsa," says Gerda, still talking softly, and I nearly gasp.

Elsa? It can't be

…Oh my God it is. I  _knew_  I recognized that voice! I want to open my eyes, but I hold off as Gerda continues.

"I hate seeing you like this. You don't eat; you hardly sleep. You're wasting away. Please just let him go," she says.

"…I…I can't Gerda. He's alive. I know he is," replies Elsa, just as soft.

I swear you can hear my heart breaking. I hear Gerda sigh.

"Why don't you get some breakfast Your Majesty," she says, obviously trying to end the argument. "You've been here all night."

"But what if she wakes up? I don't want her to think I just left her here," replies Elsa weakly.

"Then I'll send someone to fetch you. You need to eat, Your Majesty. I promise, Princess Anna will understand."

"Can't you just bring it in here?" says Elsa, sounding for all the world like an indignant child.

I can practically hear Gerda's eye-roll.

It's quiet for a second, before Elsa sighs. "Fine."

I hear her walk away, and the sound of a door opening, and closing, followed by Gerda sighing heavily.

"You can open your eyes now, Miss. I know you're awake."

I stop breathing. Crap. Busted. I slowly open one eye, only to see, who I assume to be, Gerda looking down at me with her hands on her hips.

Now I know where I heard her name before. It's Elsa's maid, the one from her office. And the way she's looking at me reminds me of how my mother used to when she caught me stealing sweets.

"H-how did you know I was awake?" I say, smiling weakly as I try to sit up.

She raises an eyebrow. "I have my ways."

I sit uncomfortably under her gaze for a few moments.

"Who are you?" she suddenly asks, still glaring at me.

"U-uh, A-Anna?" I say, slightly flustered.

"You can drop the act, Miss. The Queen is no longer within earshot," says Gerda, and I huff indignantly.

"I'm not acting. I'm Anna," I snap, crossing my arms and meeting her glare with one of my own.

"Impossible," she says, waving her hand dismissively, "Princess Anna died almost six months ago. Went down with her ship, along with the King."

My eyes widen, but I keep my composure. Sort of.

"W-well I-I never said I was Princess Anna," I respond, softening my gaze a bit.

"Then perhaps you would like to explain to me why Queen Elsa seems to think you are?" says Gerda, stepping closer. "Because if anyone knows the Princess, it's her. And I do have to say, the resemblance is uncanny."

Suddenly, she grabs my chin, turning my face left and right to examine me.

"Amazing," she says, "You even got her freckles right."

I pull my face from her hand. "Hey!"

She steps back again.

"Look," I say, moving to get out of the  _enormous_  four poster bed I'm in, "I don't know where I am, or what's going on, but I don't like being interrogated for no reason!"

I jab my finger at her to enforce my point. Her eyes narrow, but before she can say anything else, the door swings open, and Elsa herself walks in.

"Gerda, I forgot to ask, but can you draw me a ba—" she freezes when she sees me and Gerda facing off.

I look at her, my anger melting away the second I see her face.

"Anna?" she says quietly.

I wave weakly. "H-hey Els."

Gerda moves out of the way just in time for Elsa to sweep me up into a bone crushing hug. I flinch, expecting my ribs to protest, but nothing happens. I file this discovery away for a later time.

"You're awake!" she says, somehow squeezing me even tighter.

"Ugh…Elsa…can't… _breathe_ …" I gasp.

"Sorry, sorry," she says, pulling back slightly, a huge smile plastered on his face. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Good to see you too Els," I chuckle, a blush coating my face when I notice, not only how beautiful Elsa looks in her ice-blue dress, but that I'm in a very,  _very_  thin night gown.

I tuck an invisible strand of hair behind my ear, and start doing what I do best. Talk.

"W-what's going on, Elsa? Where are we? One second we're chased into a closet by Hans, and then there was that key, and…and a door with blue light…w-which turned black…and then, boom, we're in this…place. And what the hell is Kristoff doing here? How do you even know him? Or…was that just a dream. I guess it could've been. But it just seemed so  _real_ , and—" Elsa puts a finger to my lips to silence my rambling, a smirk on her lips.

I blush again, and stop talking. While I was word vomiting, Gerda had narrowed her eyes in suspicion and now they were wide with shock.

"It can't be," she whispers to herself.

"Can't be what?" I ask, over hearing her comment.

She shakes her head.

"Nothing," she says, "It' just…what's your favorite color?"

"I thought I just said—" I say, but she cuts me off.

"Just answer the question," she snaps, ignoring Elsa's glare.

I narrow my eyes. "Green."

She nods, "Favorite food?"

"Chocolate" I say, "Why?"

She answers my question with another question.

"How old are you?"

"Gerda is this really necessary?" snaps Elsa, but I hold up my hand and answer.

"Twenty-four."

"And when's your birthday?"

"June nineteenth."

Something flashes through Gerda's eyes.

"What's the last thing your mother said to you before she died?"

Caught off-guard, I blanch at the mention of my mother. How did she know my mother?

"W-why?" I ask, defensively.

"You don't have to answer that, Anna," says Elsa, before fixing the maid with an ice-cold glare. "Gerda, I think it's time you left."

She does nothing. She just stands there, waiting for me to answer.

"Gerda!" barks Elsa, taking a step towards the woman. She stops when I put a hand on her forearm.

"I-t's okay Els," I say, trying to offer her a reassuring smile.

I face Gerda, and take a deep breath.

"She…she told me 'Jeg vil alltid være med deg, lille venn.'" I say, speaking past the sudden lump in my throat.

I hate when people bring up my mother. It just opens wounds that have never really closed in the first place. Gerda's eyes soften, and she suddenly pulls me into a tight hug, causing me to yelp in surprise.

"Oh Anna, it is you!" she says, as I awkwardly hug her back.

Now I'm really confused. One minute she's interrogating me, the next she's holding me? What the heck is going on?

"Forgive me if I seemed…rude before, Your Highness, but Her Majesty was devastated when you d— when you were lost. I had to be sure it was really you," she says, still hugging me.

"U-um, i-it's okay," I say, still trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Do you believe me now?" asks Elsa angrily.

Gerda bows her head, still smiling. "Yes, Your Majesty. Forgive me, but I had to be sure. You were right. It is her. I knew the moment she recited her mother's last words. Only myself, the Princess, and her dearly departed mother—bless her soul—would know them."

I inhale sharply. Okay, now I'm freaked out. There hadn't been anyone else in the room with us when my mom had died. Who  _is_  this chick!? Elsa notices my shock at Gerda's words, but says nothing. Instead she turns to the maid, and, surprisingly, she smiles at her.

"You are forgiven, Gerda. I know you were just looking out for me. As always. "

Gerda bows her head again. Huh. I guess Elsa doesn't hold grudges?

"But try anything like that again, and I'll have your head."

Whoop, there it is. The maid just smiles, like she's been threatened like this before.

"Now," says Elsa, turning back to me, "if you don't mind, I would like to speak with Anna alone for a while. We have a lot to talk about."

"As you wish, Your Majesty. I'll have some breakfast brought to you," replies Gerda, walking towards the door. She takes one last glance at us, before exiting the room.

And with that, Elsa and I are alone.

"Well, that was…different," I say, and Elsa starts laughing. I join her and soon we are gasping for air.

After a few minutes, we finally gain some composure.

"Y-you never answered my questions, though," I say, still chuckling.

Suddenly, Elsa stops laughing, and a worried look appears on her face. I stop as well, and look at her with concern.

"What is it, Elsa?" She shakes her head, and gives me a small, sad smile.

"Nothing…well, something," she says, sitting on the bed, and motioning for me to join her.

"I…I know I owe you some answers, Anna," she starts, looking down at her hands, "but I'm afraid you won't believe me."

I put my hands on top of hers, and smile reassuringly. "Try me."

Elsa closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. She then looks up at me, seeming to have decided something.

"Well," she says, "I'll start with your first question. We are in the Kingdom of Arendelle."

I look at her is disbelief. Not because of where we are, but because of the name. _Kingdom_  of Arendelle? Just how fucking rich is this chick!?

"You own a  _Kingdom!_?" I screech in shock.

Elsa chuckles. "Not…exactly."

"What do you mean?" I ask, still reeling.

"That's…well, I'm…kind of the…Queen…here," she says sheepishly.

My jaw drops to the floor.

"You're a billionaire… _and a Queen!?_ "

Elsa flinches from the pitch of my voice, but I'm too stunned to feel embarrassed.

"Um…yes?"

Is she asking me, or telling me?

…Wait a minute. Kingdom? How the hell did we end up in a Kingdom? The last thing I remember was being in a closet with those weird blue and black lights. We weren't anywhere near a Kingdom. And I think I would've noticed if one just popped up right next to New York.

"Elsa…" I say slowly, "how did we get here?"

Elsa begins to fidget uncomfortably.

"W-well, do you remember that key? The one in the blue box?" she asks.

I nod my head in confusion. "What about it?"

"It, uh, it kind of…opened a portal…" she says, not meeting my gaze.

"A…portal…" I repeat.

"Yes…a portal to a parallel reality where I'm Queen Elsa of Arendelle, and you're—"

"Princess Anna," I finish for her.

"Y-yeah," says Elsa.

It's quiet for a moment before I stand up.

"Anna?" says Elsa, uncertainly.

"I don't believe it," I say pinching the bridge of my nose, "I've been crushing on a freaking lunatic."

"Hey," says Elsa defensively. "I am not crazy. It's the truth!"

"Oh yeah, right, like I'm supposed to believe that I'm in some other dimension—"

"Reality," she interjects.

" _Reality_ , where you're a queen, and I'm a princess! Are you gonna tell me that magic is real now? 'Cause that would just complete the freaking picture, wouldn't it?!" I finish, throwing my hands up.

Elsa looks at me pointedly, before bringing her hand eyelevel, palm up. I look at it, my eyes widening in both shock and…well, fear. As I watch, snow starts to swirl around her palm, clumping together until it forms the most perfect snowflake I have ever seen.

"Oh. My. God."

"They don't call me the Queen of Snow and Ice for nothing," Elsa half smirks, eyeing her creation. She looks up at me, and concern floods her features.

I'm just standing there, gaping at her.

"Anna?" she says, slowly standing.

Like I'm some sort of frightened deer. Maybe I am. I don't say anything. I'm too busy trying to come to terms with what I just saw. Magic is real. _Magic is real!_ And...and Elsa can use magic. She's a…witch? No…a sorcerer? Holy shit, Elsa's a sorcerer! I start having a mini breakdown.

" _Oh my God!_ " I whisper, "Magic is real. W-which means…which means you're n-not crazy. O-or maybe I'm crazy. But you can do  _magic!_  And this place is  _real!_  A-and you're the Queen and I'm the… _I'm the Princess!?_ "

Elsa nods, but I'm not really paying any attention to her.

"If you're the Queen, and I'm the…Princess, does that make us… _Oh my God, that makes us sisters!_ "

I start hyperventilating again.

"I've been dating my sister. I have a crush  _on my sister!_ I'm sick. This is sick! Why did she have to be my  _sister!?_ "

I suddenly feel cool hands on my shoulders.

"Anna!" Elsa snaps her fingers in front of my face, and I flinch, unaware she had gotten so close. "Anna, you need to calm down! You're going to have another panic attack!"

She's right. I need to calm down. I focus on controlling my breathing. In and out. In and out. After a few moments, I am breathing normally again. Then I realize just how close Elsa is. I can't help it. I blanch. I don't mean to. But I'm a  _little_  freaked out. I mean, I just saw her make snow,  _with her bare hands!_ I immediately feel guilty when I see the hurt in her eyes. She says nothing about it though. She just clasps her hands in front of her and takes a step back.

"You can relax, Anna," she says, still looking somewhat hurt. "We're not sisters."

"We're…not?" I ask, relief flooding my senses.

"No."

"Then…then how am I a Princess? I, mean, that's really the only explanation, right?"

"Well," she says slowly, "'Princess' isn't your full title. We only call you that, because the whole thing really is a mouthful."

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean 'not my full title'?"

Elsa looks up at me, and smirks. "Your title is Princess Consort of Arendelle."

…

"Princess… _Consort_?"

Elsa nods, still smirking at me.

"As in…as in  _I'm your wife!?"_  I screech. "Oh my God. Oh my  _God!_  I'm your freaking  _wife!_ "

Elsa laughs at me. Not the soft giggle she usually does. No. She freaking laughs.

"I don't know if this is worse than when I thought I was you sister!" I say, pacing back and forth in total freak-out mode.

"Hey!" says Elsa indignantly, no longer laughing.

But I ignore her.

"What's next? A talking snowman!?"

Suddenly, as if on cue, the doors swing wide open. And would you look at that.

"Hi! I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!" shouts the stubby little snowman who runs into the room, followed by what appears to be a personal flurry.

That's it. That's all my simple little mind can take.

I faint.

I'm only out for a few moments, but I'm sure it was enough to freak Elsa out. I open my eyes, only to find us on the floor, me in her arms. She must have caught me. This time I don't flinch away.

I look around, and, to my relief, I don't see the snowman—Olaf, I think his name was—anywhere in the room. Then I remember that Elsa is supposed to be my wife, and I don't think I've ever blushed so hard in my life.

"Are you okay?" she ask me, probably due to my sudden red complexion.

"Y-yeah," I say, standing up unsteadily, "I-I'm fine."

She eyes me warily, but says nothing as she stands as well. She guides me over to the bed, still looking concerned, and sits next to me.

"I'm sorry about Olaf," she says, half smiling, "I told him to wait, but he just gets so excited sometimes. He really missed his best friend."

"Best friend?" I ask, "As in…me?"

Elsa nods, her smile widening. "Yes…well, the other you. Princess Anna you."

It's silent for a few moments, while I continue to try to process all the information that was just thrown at me. I let out a deep sigh.

"Elsa," I say, "I need you to tell me what's going on, because I'm going to be honest with you, I'm freaking out here. I need you to explain, like, everything. From the beginning. How does this place exist? Why are we here? Why am  _I_ here? And Kristoff and Gerda, how are they here? And what does this have to do with Hans? Why don't my ribs, or wrist for that matter, hurt anymore? And your shoulder—it seems fine, and…and I'm just…please? Tell me?"

Elsa's quiet for a moment.

"Will you believe me this time?" she ask, somewhat teasingly.

I give her my best '1000 percent done' look and she chuckles.

"All right. I'll tell you."

 


	12. Chapter eleven

Chapter 11

 

_Well she lives in a fairy tale_

_Somewhere too far for us to find_

_Forgotten the taste and smell_

_Of a world that she's left behind_

_-"Brick by Boring Brick"_

_Paramour_

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Both Elsa and I quickly look up as someone knocks on the bedroom door.

"Come in!" calls Elsa.

"Good Morning, Your Majesty, Your Highness. I've brought you your breakfasts," says a young maid as she peeks through the door.

Elsa stands and smiles at the girl. "Thank you; can you just leave it by the bed?"

"Of course, Your Majesty," says the maid, pushing a cart into the room.

It's silent except for the soft sounds of dishes clinking as the maid sets the cart next to the bed. I swear you can taste the awkward. I chew my lip as she finishes and heads towards the door.

"Good day, ma'am's," she says with a slight curtsy before closing the door with a small  _click._

Without a word, Elsa walks over to the cart and begins making a plate, piling on eggs, biscuits, sausage, bacon, pancakes and every other breakfast food I can imagine. Soon the dish is overflowing with food.

I gape at her. There's no way one person can finish all that. Like seriously, it's a freaking mountain of deliciousness. I can feel my mouth watering as she finishes it off with a generous helping of chocolate syrup. My favorite.  Elsa smirks at my glazed over expression, and hands me the plate. I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Eat," she says, still smirking.

"You really expect me to eat  _all_  of this?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes," says Elsa, "You need to get your strength up."

I cross my arms and glare at her playfully. "And what if I'm not hungry?"

Just then, my stomach decides to growl so loud, I'm sure the whole castle heard.

"I think your stomach says otherwise," Elsa giggles as I blush furiously.

"Shut it," I huff in embarrassment, as I take an experimental bite.

Holy shit, this is good! As soon as it touches my tongue, I'm in love.

"Mmmm!" I hum as I begin to inhale the rest of my food.

Elsa chuckles, and makes herself a smaller plate, before joining me on the bed, eating as well. Surprisingly, I somehow manage to polish off my plate. Guess I was hungrier than I thought.

"Ugh," I groan, laying back on the bed, arms spread wide. "I think I ate too much."

Elsa smiles and takes my plate, setting it on the cart, before lying down next to me, hands over her stomach as both of us stare up at the ceiling.

"So," I say, not really sure how to bring up our previous conversation.

"So," repeats Elsa.

It's quiet for a few moments, before Elsa lets out a small sigh and sits up.

"If I'm going to explain things to you," she starts, "I'll have to start from the beginning. The  _very_  beginning."

I prop myself up on my elbows. "Okay."

She takes a deep breath, and I prepare myself for whatever it is she is about to say.

"There's a legend in this world…about how our two realities were once one. A land of both science and magic. As the legend goes this land was ruled by a Great Queen. Queen Elsa the first."

At the sound of her name, I sit up completely. Elsa smiles at my reaction.

"Yes, she is my namesake, and for good reason. She was the original Snow Queen," she says, "Queen Elsa was the first and only person, well at until I was born, to have control over ice and snow."

I subconsciously move away from Elsa at the mention of her…powers. I can't help it, it's still kind of…freaky. If she notices, she doesn't mention it.

"Because of her unique abilities," she continues, "the people grew weary of her. Soon, it turned into mistrust, and eventually fear. They were afraid that she wouldn't be able to control her powers, and would accidentally—or worse, purposefully—throw the land into an eternal winter. This angered and saddened the Queen."

Elsa pauses, looking troubled.

"Her…our powers are linked to our emotions. When I'm mad, or scared, or stressed, it becomes harder to keep control. Unfortunately, that has caused problems in the past," she looks down at her hands in…shame?

She doesn't say anything for a few minutes. I can tell something is bothering her. A bad memory perhaps? I take a deep breath, steeling my nerves, and take her hands in mine, attempting to comfort her. I nearly yelp at the feeling of her hands in mine. Holy crap, her hands are cold! Like seriously, it's like holding a freaking ice cube!

Elsa looks up in surprise. I smile at her, trying my best to look reassuring, as though my hands don't feel like they're freezing off. She smiles back, and her hands warm considerably. I try not to look relieved.

"Thanks," she says.

I nod, smiling again as she takes a deep breath, and continues.

"As I said before, Queen Elsa was furious. She had been leading these people in peace and prosperity for years, and suddenly she was the bad guy. Fortunately she had much better control than I do, and was able to prevent her powers from running wild. But that didn't stop her from giving the people a harsher winter than they were used to," Elsa grimaced. "Of course this only solidified their fears. It was the last push they needed. After months of cowering and waiting, they finally had a reason—even if it was just a small one—to rebel."

I lean in, captivated by the story.

"The people stormed the castle," continues Elsa. "The battle was long and harsh, and the Queen's Guard fought valiantly to protect their monarch, but in the end, Queen Elsa was gravely wounded."

Elsa frowns. "She fled to the throne room, locking her attackers out. As she lay, dying, she vowed she would make them pay. With the last of her strength, she cast a curse that would strip the land of magic. But she was weak, and she died before the curse was complete. This caused the land to be split into two worlds; one of science and one of magic."

She stands, and begins to pace.

"The day Queen Elsa died, a prophecy was made," she says, "that one day the Queen would return, and make a choice. Either she would bring balance and reunite the world again, or she would complete her revenge, and strip the world of magic, completely eradicating this reality."

Elsa halts, and I gape at her. Is she really saying what I think she's saying?

"Wait, wait, wait...are you telling me that you're supposed to be, like, the reincarnation of this chick?" I ask incredulous.

Elsa hesitates, before nodding. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Unfortunately," I scoff, "why unfortunately? That's awesome! You get the chance to be, like, a superhero or something!"

She smiles at my enthusiasm, but frowns again as she answers my question.

"When my father—my father in this reality—found out I had these…abilities, he feared them. And, after an…incident when we were children, he had a reason to conceal them. He locked me away behind closed doors, and taught me to hide my powers. Of course that didn't stop you from trying to sway him otherwise. You always did love it when I would, as you used to put it, 'do the magic,'" she smirks as she looks back up at me.

Why is she staring at me? Do I have chocolate all over my face?

…I do, don't I? Damn it.

"What?" I ask, trying to slyly wipe any offending morsels from my face.

"It's…uh…" Elsa stammers.

Elsa never stammers. She's a queen.  _And_  a billionaire. What in heck?

I quirk a brow. "What?" I ask again.

Elsa coughs awkwardly. "It's just been… _nice_ to have you back."

I feel myself blush. Not cool, Elsa. I'm already a redhead. I must look like an overgrown cherry right now.

"Just nice?" I ask, teasingly.

If I'm embarrassed, she better fess up.

Elsa rolls her eyes and gives in. "Fine, it's been amazing. There."

I return her earlier smirk and she glares. Wait…

"Wait, what do you mean 'have me back'?" I frown, "I mean, I  _kind of_  get the whole, 'two realities' thing now, but, like, that doesn't really answer why people seem to believe that I'm your…w-wife," I stutter on the last word.

It's still a little…strange. I mean, I like her. Really, I do. But…I'm not sure I'd be ready to be married to her. I hardly even know her.

Elsa pauses for a second, as if to gather her thoughts. "When the world was split, so was every living creature, except for those born of magic, of course. Each person's soul was torn in two, one piece for each reality. That's why the people in this reality know you as Princess Anna. She was—is—your other half."

I nod, trying to keep up.

"These two halves were still connected though. They lived two different lives, but they were, essentially, still the same person. They shared looks, traits, and, sometimes, even family members or friends. But most importantly, they were linked through mortality. When one half died, the other followed suit, if not at the same time, then soon after."

"So…is that why I thought I saw Kristoff? Cause it was his 'other half'" I put up air quotes.

Elsa nods. "Yes. In this reality, he is your brother."

That explains that strange tone he used. The Kristoff I know would never talk to me like that. It'd be too weird. Suddenly, I realize something.

"Wait, hold up. You've known me…or at least the other part of me…who I was…this  _whole time_?"

Elsa looks at me guiltily. "…Yes…"

" _And you didn't tell me!"_ I say, exasperated.

She scoffs. "Like you would've believed me, Anna."

I narrow my eyes and stick my tongue out at her, even though I do have to admit she's right. After all, I didn't even believe in magic until a few moments ago. She laughs at my childishness, as I think back to the first time we met. Strange, she didn't act like she knew me…

"…Wait…but when we first met…you acted like I was a complete stranger. You never once seemed like you knew me. I mean, don't you think after, what was it, four months? You'd act a little more…happy to see your missing wife?"

Elsa coughs again, a blush dusting her cheeks.

"W-well, about that…" she stammers, "W-when we ran into each other…it, um, it was kind of…my fault."

Her fault? Wasn't I the one that ran into her? Noticing my confused expression, Elsa continues to explain herself.

"I saw you from the cab, and, well like you said, you had been missing for a while. I kind of…how would you put it...freaked out? I couldn't believe it. You were still alive! Which meant…which meant that the other you was still alive. I was so happy. So…I had the cabby pull over, and…planned…for you to run into me, so we could 'meet.' I didn't, however, expect you to break my nose." She smirks again as I blush. "And as for me acting as if I didn't know you, don't you think you would have been a little freaked out if some random woman on the street had known who you were, let alone one of the richest women in the world?"

So humble, aren't we?

"I…guess not," I concede, "but, like, you still seemed  _really_  angry. Either you're an amazing actress or…"

Elsa grimaces. "Well I'm sure you'd be upset if someone pushed you into a light pole, Anna. But I was really angry at myself. I should have known you would injure me in some way. You always seem to find a way."

God, I'm going to perma-blush if this woman keeps it up. It's quiet for a few minutes while I try to tame the red in my face.

"Okay," I say, breaking the silence, "so, let me get this straight. There are two realities, in which there is one half of a…soul…in each…and you're some prophesized savior that's going to…join these two worlds together again?"

Elsa nods as I finish.

"All right. Cool. I can handle that…I think…" I say, and she chuckles at me. "Wait…but, what about you? You said every living creature had two halves, one in each world, and yet, you seem to be a part of both."

"Well," she starts, "I should've said, every creature except myself. Because I'm the…Snow Queen…my soul is the only one that isn't halved. And, because of that, I can travel between the worlds, with the key, of course. And, before you ask, no, I haven't always been able to do so. I've only been moving between the two realities for about nine years."

"But, everyone in my…reality…knows who you are—who your family is. The world has practically watched you grow up. How do you explain that?" I say.

"Magic," she says simply.

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean, magic?"

"I mean, magic created an image for me. I was never really there, but everyone believed I was. But now, because I can freely move between the worlds, I'm only present in one at a time."

Wow. This magic stuff is complicated. Noticing my expression, Elsa speaks up.

"I know it's a lot to take in," she says, taking a step back towards the bed, "but, to be honest, you're handling it quite well…except for the constant fainting, of course."

"Hey! That was one…okay two times!" I exclaim, and she laughs.

I huff, blowing a puff of air up at my bangs as I look away and cross my arms in a slight pout. Elsa wears an unforgiveable smirk at my stance and rolls her eyes to top it off.

"Shut up!" I say defensively.

She only laughs some more until she's hugging her sides and tears start to form at the corner of her eyes in her guffaws. I scowl at her, but with a wave of her hand an icy blast pushes me back onto the bed.

Shit shit shit! I grimace, my eyes shut tight, expecting my ribs to send searing pain through my body. But they don't. Again. What the…I feel frigid hands take mine and I brave an eye open.

Elsa looks at me with a quirked brow. "You okay?"

"Um…yeah…" I frown. "That's the…problem."

Elsa copies my expression. "What do you mean?"

"Well…unless this really is all just a dream, I distinctly remember having broken ribs. And a broken wrist. Oh, and let's not forget the freaking  _bullet-hole_  that was in your shoulder. What happened to that? You seem to be just fine! I mean, I couldn't have been out for  _that_  long…could I?"

She shakes her head. "No, you've only been unconscious since yesterday."

"Then why are we not broken? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I would like to know," I say, as she joins me on the bed, sitting across from me.

"Remember the whole 'magic is real' thing?" she asks, smirking, "Well it really comes in handy when healing wounds."

Is magic the answer to everything around here!?

"Magic….healed us?" I ask skeptically.

You'd think after everything I've learned, this wouldn't be such a big shock. Elsa chuckles and nods the affirmative.

"But—and I'm guessing that you can come here anytime with that key—why didn't you heal your nose after we ran into each other. I'm sure it hurt something awful, and you could've saved yourself a lot of pain," I ask, still not a hundred percent convinced.

"And what would you have thought when I found you if my nose was completely healed, as if it had never happened?" she replies, raising an eyebrow.

…Good point. I would have freaked. I don't say anything, and she takes my silence as my answer.

"That's what I thought," she says with a nod, and I stick my tongue out at her again.

"Speaking of…that…you never did tell me what was up between you and Hans. I mean, I know the guy s-shot you and all," I stammer, "but he was still technically your fiancé, right? What's with that?" I start to grow angry just thinking about it. "Like, you didn't even  _tell_ me! You could've at least given me a heads up ya know! It's not hard to say 'Hey! I'm engaged! To a man!' I mean, really Els! Come on! You let me believe that you were single for almost  _two months!_ And then I just had to catch you  _kissing_  him! I—" Elsa puts a finger to my lips, effectively stopping my rant.

It's then I realize I was yelling and pacing the room. I don't even remember standing up.

She looks at me sadly, taking her finger from my lips.

"You should've told me," I say quietly, and she looks down biting her lip.

"I know. And I  _am_  sorry, Anna. I never meant to hurt you," she says, taking my hands and looking me in the eyes.

Now it's my turn to look down. I want to forgive her. I just…don't know if I can yet. I feel a hand under my chin, and she lifts my face to look at her.

"Will you at least let me explain?" she pleads, giving me those damn puppy dog eyes.

How can anyone say no to them? I nod once, and she takes my hands, leading us back to the bed, sitting us down. She never once lets go.

"Well, I'm going to start off by saying that I never wanted to marry Hans. I was only with him because my father requested it," she says.

"That doesn't really make me feel any better, ya know," I deadpan.

Elsa rolls her eyes, but continues as if I hadn't spoken. "His father and my father are trying to merge companies. His family owns Southern Isles Inc. Our marriage was a business deal, to help the merger to run smoother. I've really only known Hans for a few months. I met him right after you…disappeared."

"So, your dad made you marry some guy you just met?" I ask, incredulous. "That's crazy!"

What kind of father does that? Treat his daughter like some…bribe? Suddenly, I'm filled with the intense need to punch a certain ginger billionaire.

"Well, no…he didn't  _make_  me do anything. He asked, and I agreed," she says stiffly, not meeting my eyes.

"It doesn't sound like he really gave you a choice, Els," I say softly, trying not to yell at the poor girl.

It's not her fault her father's a jackass.

"He didn't make me do anything," she repeats.

I'm not sure who she's trying to convince at this point.

"Elsa—" I start.

"I just…couldn't be alone anymore," she whispers, effectively shutting me up.

I can see a tear make its way down her face. Oh. Now I feel terrible. All this time, I've been angry at her for lying to me, when all she was trying to do was move on. And I thought her dad was the jackass.

I pause for a second, before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She looks up at me, more tears in her eyes. I give her a big smile, and wipe the tear from her cheek with my thumb. She smiles back, and leans into my hand.

"God, I've missed you," she whispers, closing her eyes.

It's quiet as we sit there for what could have been hours, though I'm sure it's only a minute or two. Man, sometimes I forget just how freaking  _gorgeous_  she is. Gods I want to kiss her. Wait. What?

I glance down at her lips, and unconsciously lick my own. Elsa opens her eyes, only to find me staring intently at her. She pulls away, a soft blush on her cheeks, and continues talking as if nothing had happened, startling me out of my daydreaming.

"Uh-hum, I uh, I didn't know he knew about…this," she says gesturing around, still blushing. "I didn't know  _anyone_  in that world knew. I didn't think it was possible. But, after you…left…he confronted me about you. Somehow he knew who you were—who we were. He told me he was part of an organization that descended from the original Royal Guard that had failed to protect Queen Elsa. He explained that they wanted to help the Queen—that is, me—get her revenge. They want to eradicate all magic."

I'm gaping again. I can feel it.

"I was appalled, of course, having grown up with magic. I knew it wasn't bad, it was just," she waves her hand around, trying to find the right words, "misunderstood. He then tried to convince me to give him the key so he could start his 'work' in this world. When I refused, he grew angry, and threatened you," she continues.

So that's what I heard them fighting about. I guess that  _kind of_  makes me feel better.

"He kept trying to get me to tell him where the key was, but I wouldn't. I couldn't just let him destroy my home. In the middle of our yelling, he got a phone call. When he answered, I went up to the study to gather my things. I was going to leave, to get as far away from him as I could. And I was going to take you with me, whether you wanted to go or not. But before I got too far, he came in, still on his cell with a gun in his hand, and…well…you saw what happened next," she finished, glowering.

I felt my stomach twist and my blood drain from my face at the memory—hearing the gunshot, racing to Elsa and praying she wasn't hurt, only to find her lying in a pool of her own blood. Elsa seems to since my unease.

"Hey, I'm right here," she caresses my cheek with the back of her fingers tenderly.

I jolt involuntarily out of my memories. She continues to look at me with concern so I attempt a smile, but… well, you try smiling after you remember something like that. Elsa gives me a sympathetic smile that doesn't quite form in return and I suddenly find myself lunging at her with a fierce hug. I just want to be sure she's really okay. That we're both okay.

Elsa is tense at first, but I feel her relax and return the hug gently. "It's okay, Anna," she says as if reading my mind. When she starts to rub soothing circles on my back I begin to relax too. I pull away after a moment, wiping a tear away and sniffing briefly.

"Okay," I breathe at last and look at her with as much determination as I can muster. Which is a lot.

I kinda like her. A lot. And I want to help.

"Okay," I say again. "So?"

"So?" Elsa's brow furrows in confusion.

"So what do we do now? You've gotta save the world right?"

Elsa smirks. "Right."

"All right…so, uh, how do you do that?" I ask.

Elsa frowns slightly. "I'm…not sure."

I raise my eyebrows at her. "What do you mean you're not sure?"

"I mean the prophecy never actually says how I'm supposed to unite or destroy the two worlds. It only says that I have to decide before my 27 summer solstice," she says, her brow furrowing further in thought.

Summer solstice?

"Isn't that in, like, 4 months?" I ask, a little taken aback by the short timeframe.

Elsa nods. "So you see my problem."

I hum in response, and stand up clapping my hands together, startling Elsa.

"I guess we had better get started then," I say, and Elsa chuckles at my enthusiasm, standing as well.

"Hold on there, feisty pants," she says, "first, thing's first; we need to teach you how to be a princess. People here will notice if you don't know the proper behavior, and we can't have them locking you up for impersonating a royal. Anna may have been just as clumsy as you are, but she still knew how to act like royalty when the occasion called for it."

I scowl. "But…I'm not a princess, Elsa."

She smiles at me, and takes my hands in hers.

"Not yet," she winks, "but don't worry, by the time I'm done with you, you will be."

I gulp.

"O-okay," I stammer. "What, uh, what's first?"

Elsa smirks and pulls me over to, what I think is, the closet. She opens it, and my jaw drops. What is with this woman and the need for large spaces!? The closet's bigger than my whole freaking apartment! I look inside and see hundreds of dresses, all in different colors.

"Uh, Elsa? What am I supposed to do with—" I turn to look at her, only to see her looking at me with an evil grin on her face.

Oh crap. What have I gotten myself into?

 


	13. Chapter twelve

Chapter 12

 

_But you, make wanna act like a girl_

_Paint my nails and wear high heels,_

_Yes you, make me so nervous_

_That I just can't hold your hand_

" _Heart attack"_

_-Demi Lovato_

 

"Ouch!" I pull away from Elsa's nimble fingers, rubbing the back of my head. "What the hell are you doing back there?"

"Brushing this mane you call hair. Honestly Anna, if you took better care of it, it wouldn't hurt this much," she quips, pulling me back and running the brush through my hair again.

"Maybe you shouldn't try to rip it off my head," I mumble, and I hear her chuckle.

After a few more strokes, she begins pulling my hair up into an intricate bun, leaving my bangs down. As she works, I fidget with the hem of the dress she forced me into. I hate dresses. I tried to explain this to her, multiple times, but she wouldn't have it. Something about 'dressing the part.' I think she just enjoys watching me suffer.

"Stop messing with it," she reprimands me, "You'll wrinkle it."

I sigh, but do as she says. We sit in silence for a moment, before she starts to hum as she continues to work on my hair. It's incredibly soothing now that all the kinks are worked out. I wonder what she would sound like if she sang. I bet it would be amazing. After a few more minutes, she finishes, and I move to stand, but she pushes down on my shoulders, stopping me.

"Not yet," she says, "I still have to do your make-up."

I groan. What am I? Her personal Barbie doll?

"Apparently," I mutter aloud.

"Apparently what?" Elsa asks and examines an eye-shadow brush.

"Oops!" I chuckle nervously. "Didn't mean to say that out loud."

Elsa laughs lightly, the sound bringing a sympathetic grin to my lips. "You mean you actually manage to not say some things out loud? And they say after marriage, all the mystery and magic is gone."

"Hey!" I protest. "I filter…some things. And well you're magical, so that doesn't make sense anyway. And wait, hold on, what the heck, did you just—" I say and my eyes go wide when I'm able to process what she's just said. " _Marriage!?_ "

Elsa laughs again. "Well we are married in this world, Anna. Close your eyes so I can put on eye-shadow"

"Yeah," I concede as I obey her. "Obviously, but that doesn't mean you and me, I mean, that I'm, that-that you're—"

I hear Elsa snicker and I realize she's been egging me on. I open my eyes. Glaring. That'll teach her.

"Don't give me that face," Elsa still wears an unforgiveable smirk. "You're my wife. Deal with it."

"No," I deadpan.

Elsa unsheathes a lipstick somewhere between the shades of I-would-never-wear-that red and holy-Christ-is-that pink and arches a brow. "No?"

"No," I say stubbornly. "I'm not the Princess Consort and I'm not your wife. We've only known each other for two months!"

Then Elsa does something so dangerous, so evil I can't believe it. She pouts. She actually pouts. There's puppy-dog eyes. And a pucker. Fuck that pucker.

"Stop that," I roll my eyes.

It only gets worse somehow when she blinks her eyes at me several times.

"Ugggghh! Okay, I'll be your wife! Here.  _Just_ here in Arendelle!" I scowl.

Elsa grins and chuckles to herself. "Would it really be so bad to be married to me? You'd be rich, you know."

"Show off," I still glare, crossing my arms and narrowing my glare further.

I can't believe her pout worked. Bitch.

"And powerful," she continues, almost in a whisper.

It's then that I realize she's tracing my lips with the lipstick and those stupid lips  _of hers_ are in a sympathetic pucker again about an inch away from mine. Damn. It. Why does this chick have to be so freakin' gorgeous? Why?

I mean, she's put me through  _a lot_ of shit. But…Elsa gives me a half smile, still a mere inch away and I swear I can feel her wintry breath, almost taste it. Not cool. Heh. She brushes my cheek with the back of her fingers and leans in, humming.

Is she going to...?

I mean, I guess we're…married…and even in my world, we  _have_ known each other for a while and… My eyes begin to flutter shut and I find myself leaning in as well, my heart racing. I realize I want this. Like,  _really_  want this. At some point, I stop breathing.

Elsa hums again, taking my other cheek in her palm. "Hmmm…"

God, that voice.

"Maybe a little blush."

She's gone before I know what's happening—or rather,  _not_ happening—and I nearly fall over when our lips don't meet. "Ahh!" I yelp before I'm able to collect myself.

I stand, still in shock at how, how…cruel she is!

Elsa finds the blush and her eyes are innocent when they meet my renewed glare. "Did you stumble, dear?"

My cheeks are so red, I'm sure I don't need the blush anymore.

"I was just—I mean, I wasn't—I, uh…You were leaning in too!"

Elsa bursts into a fit at my words. Perma-blush it is.

"Shut up," I mutter. "Tease."

Elsa grins and dabs a smidgen of blush on my cheeks. "I'm simply demonstrating yet another perk to our marriage."

I swat her and she gapes mockingly at me. "You dare lay a hand on your queen?"

"If Her Royal Pain in the Ass deserves it," I smirk.

"Careful," she grins. "You're Mrs. Royal Pain in the Ass," Elsa waves her hand and brings me close with a chilly gust forcing me forward at my back and before I know it her lips are on mine.

I'm so surprised at first, I don't react. My mind just kind of…short circuits. Then, I realize what's happening, and my eyes flutter shut once again. I forget why I'm supposed to be upset with her. Something about…

You know what, I really don't care.

Cause I've been waiting for this—daydreaming about this—for weeks, and now that it's finally here, it's better than I ever imagined. Colder, I admit to myself, but soooo much better. She tastes like winter and…home. This is the best damn kiss I've ever had. The kiss is brief and my eyes remain shut, my lips still in a slight pucker after it's finished.

I hear Elsa chuckle softly and feel her take my cheek in her palm once more. "There. Now I'm not a tease anymore."

"Mmm hmmm," I agree, shaking my head as I open my eyes to gaze into hers.

I can't really form words yet.

"You okay?" she chuckles again.

"Uh hum!" I clear my throat, taking a step back.

I can probably do the whole word-forming thing better if I'm not up against her.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and nod. "Yeah, um…"

I can't help the soft smile that forms. "I'm great."

"Good," Elsa smiles. "Then let's go."

"Go?" I tilt my head in question. "Go where?"

Gerda interrupts, appearing at the door of the ginormous closet Elsa's been keeping me in for the past several hours.

"Your Majesty, Your Highness, the guests are waiting for you," she says with a smile.

"Very well, Gerda," Elsa answers, "We'll be down in a minute. Anna just needs to finish her make-up."

Gerda bows, and exits the closet.

"What guests?" I ask, turning to Elsa.

She smirks, moving to finish applying blush to my still-red cheeks. "Guests of the ball of course."

_What!?_

"Ball! What ball!?" I squeak.

"You didn't think that the people would really just let their missing Princess returning go without a celebration, did you?" she chuckles, putting away the several make-up containers.

"But, but, Elsa! I'm not ready! What do I say? What do I do? I can't just go out there all willy nilly and—" Elsa silences me with another chaste kiss, causing my mind to have a mini meltdown.

She pulls away, and I get the impression that's she's been wanting to do that for a while now. Kiss me, I mean.

"You'll be fine, Anna," she says, looking me in the eye. "Just stay next to me tonight. I'll guide you through any encounter's we may have."

"O-okay," I say, still a little shaky.

She smiles, and begins to pull me towards the exit.

"Wait!" I exclaim, suddenly remembering something Gerda told me.

Elsa pauses, turning back and raising an eyebrow at me. "Yes?"

"W-well," I stammer, tucking an invisible stray hair behind my ear, "if I remember correctly, Gerda told me t-that the, uh, King…who I assume was your dad…was with me when I…'drowned'"

Elsa frowns, and I can see it's still a difficult topic for her. "You are correct. My father was with you when the ship went down, though he is obviously alive, his other half being a testament to that. What does it matter?" she asks, clearly confused by my question.

"U-um, well, it's just…what if someone asks what happened? Or where I've been? Or where the King is? I-I can't answer those questions, Els," I reply, looking down at my feet.

Elsa pauses for a moment, considering the predicament. Apparently she hadn't thought about that. Then her eyes light up with an idea.

"We'll just have to tell them you forgot. Suffered a head injury," she says, and my jaw hits the floor.

"Seriously Els? A head injury? That's the best you can come up with?" I say, exasperated.

"Do you have a better idea?" she asks teasingly.

I roll my eyes, but shake my head.

"No," I huff.

She smirks triumphantly.

"Then that's what we'll say. Simplicity is sometimes best, Anna," she says, and I fight back another eye roll.

She continues to lead me out of the closet, but stops suddenly.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she says, walking over to the nightstand.

"Forgot what?" I ask, following her.

She smiles at me, before opening a drawer and reaching in. Whatever she pulls out is small, hiding in her closed fist. She walks over to me, and opens her hand, showing me what lay on her palm.

"This," she says softly, and I gasp.

There, on her hand, is a  _beautiful_ white gold wedding band.

"You forgot it when you boarded the ship. At first, I was upset that you had left it, but when the ship went down…I was glad that I had this as a reminder…" she says just as quiet.

She holds out her hand, and I realize what she wants.

"E-Elsa…I-I can't wear that! I-it's…it's, you know,  _hers_ ," I stammer, my face cherry red.

Elsa smiles at me, but says nothing. She just continues to hold out her hand, waiting for me to take the ring. I blush even more, if it's even possible. I mean, I guess  _technically_  it's mine but…I just don't know that I'd feel right wearing it.

"Elsa…" I say uncertainly.

She sighs, and, before I realize what's happening, she grabs my left hand and slides it onto my ring finger. It's a perfect fit. I freeze, my hand still held out in front of me. At first…I don't know how to react. I mean, there's a freaking wedding ring on my finger! But, the more I examine it, there more it just feels…right.

God, this is too weird.

After a few seconds, Elsa clears her throat, and I realize she's waiting for me to say something.

"Oh!" I say, jolted out of my meanderings. "It's, uh, it's beautiful, Els. Really! But…a-are you sure?"

She smiles at me again before pulling me into another kiss, this one soft and loving. Just like with the others, I melt the second her lips touch mine. If being 'married' to her means I get to do this more often, well, I think I might just be okay with that. I swear she's the best damn kisser I've ever met. I can't help a small groan of protest when I feel her pull away to lean her forehead on mine.

"I'm sure," she says, and it takes me a moment to remember what she supposed to be sure about. "Now come on, our guests are waiting."

I groan in complaint once again as Elsa pulls me out of the bedroom, and leads me down a long hallway. As we make our way to the ballroom, I look around in awe. This place is awesome! I makes her office look like a freaking toy house!

Elsa chuckles at me as I 'ooh' and 'ah' at my surroundings. Suddenly, we stop, and I notice we are in front of two large doors. Elsa, still holding my hand, pulls me closer to her and pulls my arm through hers.

"Here we go," she whispers into my ear, just as I hear trumpets on the other side of the doors.

Suddenly they swing open, and I gasp. There are soooo many people! I've never seen this many people in one place before! And I live in New York! I duck my head, feeling incredibly self-conscious as every single eye in the room fixes on us the second the doors open.

"I present to you, Her Majesty, Queen Elsa, and Her Highness, Princess Consort Anna!" announces one of the servants next to the doors.

As soon as he does, the room erupts into cheers, causing me to flinch at the influx of sound. I feel Elsa tug at my arm as she begins to walk us forward.

"Head held high, Anna," I hear her quietly instruct as she glides through the crowd.

I quickly do as she says, trying not to blush as everyone stares at us. Finally, we make it to the dual thrones. Elsa turns us to face the crowd, and raises our joined hands into the air.

"Let the ball begin!" she announces, and everyone cheers once more as the music starts and several servants bring out enormous trays of food and drink for everyone to enjoy.

Elsa turns to me, and brings our intertwined hands to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

"Relax," she giggles, "Just think of it as a large party."

"Biggest freaking party I've ever been too," I mutter, causing her to chuckle again.

She waves her hand to get one of the server's attention.

He quickly makes his way over and bows before us. "How may I serve you, Your Majesty, You Highness?"

"Can you bring us a tray of those delectable looking truffles over there?" Elsa points to one of the tables.

My eyes follow her finger, and my jaw drops as I take in the  _enormous_  table that is absolutely covered in chocolates of all kinds.

Oh. My. God.

I've died and gone to heaven. It takes all of my willpower not to just rush over there and stuff my face, though I have a feeling that no one would stop me.

"Of course, Your Majesty," says the server with another bow, before he makes his way over to the table.

I'm practically bouncing when he returns with a tray laden with several different types of chocolate, along with a standing tray to place it on. He sets down the treasure, and bows once more, before departing to continue his duties. The second he leaves, I nearly pounce on the tray, but Elsa, seeming to have realized what I'm about to do, holds me back.

"Easy, Anna," she smirks, "the chocolate's not going anywhere."

I blush for the umpteenth time that evening, sticking my tongue out at her. Elsa laughs and picks up a truffle, holding it out to me. I start to take it, but she pulls it out of my reach, a devious smile on her lips. She holds the truffle out once more, and I narrow my eyes before slowly reaching for it again. And again, she pulls it away, her smirk only widening.

I pause for a second, before I realize what it is she wants. My eyes go wide. No. Oh no. I'm not doing  _that._ Nope. Not gonna happen.

Elsa raises an eyebrow expectantly, and my cheeks light up. Again. I huff, and turn away, reaching for another chocolate, but she steps in front of me, blocking the tray. I glare at her, and we stay like that in a silent stand off for a few moments, neither of us willing to yield.

When it becomes obvious that she is just as stubborn as I am, I sigh, and, begrudgingly, I open my mouth. Elsa smirks in triumph, and gently places the truffle on my tongue. She begins to withdraw her fingers, but I'm not going to let her get away that easy. I trap her fingers between my lips, and lick the chocolate from them, startling the Queen. Her eyes grow wide, and she turns a shade of red I never knew existed. I release her, and smirk as I finish the truffle, watching as she visibly swallows.

See? I can be a tease too.

"Uh hum!" I hear someone cough, effectively breaking the moment.

We swivel around, both looking incredibly guilty.

"K-Kai!" stammers Elsa, addressing the older man standing in front of us. "What do you need?"

If I wasn't so embarrassed myself, I would laugh at how flustered the Queen appeared.

The man smiles knowingly, before answering her. "Your Majesty, Your Highness, may I present, the Duke of Weasel town—"

"Weasleton! It's Weasleton! How many times do I have to tell you!?"

I jump at the interruption, only now noticing the small man standing next to Kai. When I look at him, I immediately recognize that damn toupee. I narrow my eyes, my mouth falling into a frown. Elsa notices my expression, and lightly elbows me in the ribs—a not so subtle hint to let me know to behave. She gives me a worried look, questioning me with her eyes, before turning back to the short man.

"Your Grace," she greets, nodding her head.

"Your Majesty," He bows, and both Elsa and I almost burst into giggles when his toupee flips over, revealing his bald spot.

It gets harder to not laugh when he doesn't seem to notice. He rises, and the toupee settles back into place as if nothing happened.

"I was wonder if, perhaps, I could have a dance with you, Your Majesty. That is, if your wife doesn't mind," he says, glancing at me.

I'm about to answer him, but Elsa speaks first.

"Oh, I'm sorry Your Grace, I don't dance," she says, and I'm glad that she won't be leaving my side.

"But my wife does."

…

Wait,  _what_!?

My jaw drops. What the hell, Elsa!? I start to protest, but the Duke pulls me out to the dance floor before I can get a word out.

We stop in the middle of the floor, and he starts 'dancing.' At least I  _think_  it can be considered dancing. Really, it's just him hopping around like an idiot. Fortunately, this means I don't have to do much more than sway back and forth. Unfortunately, it also means that the Weasel keeps stepping on my feet.

"Like a chicken with the face of a monkey, I fly!" he exclaims, before coming down hard on my right foot.

"Ow!" I hiss, but he doesn't notice as he continues his 'dance.'

Suddenly, he pulls me in, and dips me. I squeak in surprise at my new angle, and see Elsa giggling, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Sorry," she mouths, looking anything but.

I glare playfully at her, before the Duke pulls me back up. Finally, after a few more minutes and several bruised toes, I am able to escape the tiny man. Panting, I make my way back to Elsa's side.

"What the heck!" I exclaim as she laughs at me.

"I'm sorry, Anna, but I just couldn't resist. The look on your face!" she laughs, wiping tears from her eyes.

I huff, crossing my arms, trying to keep the smile off my face. I don't succeed.

"Well, to make up for it, now you owe me a dance," I say, and Elsa abruptly stops laughing, her face paling.

"Uh, Anna, I wasn't lying when I said I don't dance," she says shakily.

Nope, she's not getting out of this one. Not after what I just went through.

"Well that's just too bad, because you," I point at her, "are going to dance with me. No if's, and's, or but's."

I start moving towards her, and she takes a step back, eyes going wide. "Anna…"

I smirk, and reach for her wrist, when I hear a familiar voice.

"Anna!"

I turn towards the voice, and I get a glimpse of shaggy blond hair, before I am engulfed in a massive bear hug.

"Kristoff…air… _air!_ " I gasp.

He chuckles and sets me down.

"It's good to see you up and about, Sis! You had me a little worried there," he says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

Despite his comment, I can see how relieved he looks. I can also see the tears he's trying to hold back. Then it hits me. Not only did Elsa lose her wife, but Kristoff lost a sister. A sister who, by the looks of it, he was very close to. I feel a twinge in my chest, and tears prick at my eyes, but don't fall. I smile and pull him into another, gentler, hug.

"It's good to see you too, Kris," I say, and I feel him hold me a little tighter.

We pull away, and he tries—and fails—to discretely wipe away a tear, before speaking again.

"So what did I interrupt? Elsa looks like she's about to have a heart attack," he chuckles, and Elsa glares at him.

"Well," I giggle, "I was trying to get her to dance with me."

"Anna, you two haven't danced since your wedding, and you had to fight her every step of the way to get her to agree to  _that._ What makes you think this time will be any different?" he asks, and my eyebrows disappear into my bangs, but I refrain from answering.

Instead, I turn to Elsa, and waggle my eyebrows. "I think I can change her mind."

Elsa looks like she can't decide whether to be angry with me or afraid of me as Kristoff bursts into laughter.

"Well I'll let you two fight it out. I need to check on Sven anyways. You know how he can get around a lot of people," he chuckles.

He gives me one last hug before leaving me and Elsa alone—kind of—once more.

"Check on Sven? He's never had a problem with large crowds before…" I ask Elsa.

"Well, here he can get a little skittish. Plus, the staff hates it when we let animals in the castle," replies Elsa.

Animals? What?

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, thoroughly confused, and a little offended for my friend.

Elsa raises an eyebrow at me. "Sven's your brother's pet reindeer, Anna. It's not very sanitary to let him wonder around the food, you know."

"Reindeer!? What do you mean he's a reindeer!?" I exclaim.

"Of course he's a reindeer. What else would he be?" she ask, exasperated.

"Um, I don't know, maybe a  _human!_ " I respond.

Elsa looks at me like I've lost my marbles.

"Human?" she ask.

"Yes, human! At least, that's what he is in my reality," I say.

Elsa brings her hand to her chin in thought.

"Huh," she says. "That's new. I've never seen nor heard of a soul turning into two different species before. But I suppose it's possible."

"So…Sven's a reindeer?" I ponder it. Elsa nods her head. "Does he at least talk?"

Elsa laughs. "No, though your brother does this thing where he talks for him. It's really quite strange, actually."

I join her in laughter.

"And Sven—my Sven—always did have this strange obsession with reindeers," I say shaking my head, "I guess that explains it."

We laugh again for a few more moments at the absurdity of it all.

"So," I say, still chuckling, "How about that dance?"

Elsa freezes. "Anna…"

"Oh come on, Elsa. It'll be fun!" I say and she grimaces. "What's the problem?"

She looks at her hands and mumbles something.

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you," I tease.

Elsa huffs. "I said I can't dance, Anna. Happy now?"

My eyes widen at her confession.

"What do you mean you  _can't dance?_ " I exclaim, "You're the Queen! Isn't that like, a requirement or something?"

Elsa turns her head, face red, and glares at the wall, arms crossed.

"Well I'm sorry for not being picture perfect," she huffs.

I can tell she's incredibly embarrassed, and I feel kind of bad.

"Elsa," I say, trying to look into her eyes. "Elsa, hey. Come on, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

She looks at me sheepishly, and I smile real big. She smiles back, and I take her hands.

"Come on, I'll teach you," I say, still trying to coax her out.

She looks at me worriedly. "I-I don't know, Anna. They tried teaching me for our wedding but I still ended up stepping on your toes multiple times. It was so embarrassing."

I chuckle and cup her cheek. "That's because  _I_  didn't teach you."

She avoids my eyes, and I duck to meet her gaze.

"Please?" I ask softly.

She hesitates, before nodding her head, and I squeal in delight. I pull her out to the dance floor, noticing how the crowd is murmuring as they watch us. Obviously, they know about Elsa's dancing abilities. I feel Elsa's unease, and glare at the whispering nobles, causing them to look away.

Good. Assholes.

We reach the floor, and I take her hand in mine, moving her other hand to my shoulder as I grab her waist, pulling her in tight. I suddenly realize that the ballroom has gone completely silent, and everyone's eyes are on us.

"Anna, I don't know about this…" says Elsa nervously.

I shush her and shoot a glare at the orchestra. The conductor squeaks and quickly starts a classic waltz. Damn right.

"Alright Els," I say, looking back at her, "Just follow my lead."

I almost laugh at the terrified look on her face as I take one step, then two. It's a little awkward at first, mostly because she's taller, yet I'm the one leading, but eventually we find an easy rhythm.

As we move, I notice she keeps her eyes on her feet, muttering to herself. "…two, three…one, two, three…"

I laugh, and grab her chin, forcing her to look up at me.

"Hey, just relax. You're doing fine," I say, smiling at her. "See?"

She half smiles back as we glide effortlessly around the ballroom. I don't understand what all the fuss was, she's doing just fine. She even starts to enjoy herself, smiling even wider as I speed up the pace. After a few more moments, I grow confident enough to spin her out, then back, causing her to laugh in exhilaration.

As we dance, my vision narrows until all I see is her. She's so beautiful. And Amazing. And…and…man, I  _really_  want to kiss her…so why don't I? She's my wife right? So what's stopping me?

I lean in and place a gentle kiss on her lips, causing her to squeak in surprise, before melting into the kiss.

She pulls away, and rests her forehead on mine. "I love you."

My heart stops. Did she…?

 


	14. Chapter thirteen

Chapter 13

 

_Can't you see?_

_There's a feeling that's come over me_

_Close my eyes_

_You're the only one that leaves me, completely breathless_

_-"You Set Me Free"_

_Michelle Branch_

 

Did I hear her right? Because I know what I thought I heard, but, that can't be right…Can it? I mean, we  _have_  been…'dating'….for almost 2 months. I guess it would make sense but…did she say it to me? Or did she say it to her wife?

Suddenly, there is an explosion of applause, startling us. I realize that we, along with the music, have stopped, and all eyes are on us.

"That was amazing, Your Majesty!" exclaims the Duke, walking over to us. Great. "I thought you said you didn't dance?"

"Uh-hum, I don't," Elsa blushes. "But that didn't stop my wife from forcing me to anyways."

She gives me a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Well, I'm glad she did! That was quite a sight to see!" responds the Duke.

Elsa inclines her head, still blushing. "Thank you. But I couldn't have done it without Anna. She's really improved since the last time we danced."

She smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back, despite my internal conflict. She's just so beautiful when she smiles and she seems so happy. I make myself a promise to make her smile like this again. As many times as I can.

My smile broadens as she begins to beam with pride and brings my hand to her lips once again. Her touch is always cool, but I mind less and less. I kind of like it. Whoa` there, Anna. Down girl. We're not married. Not really. Take it slow.

Elsa lowers my hand, as if reading my mind.

"Sorry," she mouths silently, then steps closer to whisper "this just feels so right…t-to have you again."

I give her a small smile again, but I can't help my brows from coming together. I must look insane.

"What is it?" Elsa furrows her brows.

She cups my cheek and I find myself forgetting what was bothering me. Again. She's really good at that.

"Um…" I begin. "Nothing," I say softly and cover her hand on my cheek with mine.

She's right. This feels…right. Elsa's brilliant smile returns. Even her eyes are smiling at me, but the smile vanishes at something she sees over my shoulder. I turn.

What the F-

Before I can finish the thought, a mountain—literally, a freakin' mountain!—of snow hurls into me and I land flat on my back with an "oof!"

Now I've been in my fair share of snow fights, but I'm just  _a tad_ surprised that it's the snow fighting  _me_.

"Marshmallow!" I hear Elsa scold the ginormous snow beast.

The thing makes a sad growling noise before it lifts me off the floor, only to throw me at Elsa so that I land clumsily in her arms. Elsa tuts with a barely stifled smirk, but I'm rolling up my sleeves. Figuratively, of course.

"It is not nice to throw people!" I shout, Elsa holding me back.

"Easy, feisty pants," Elsa laughs under her breath. "Marshmallow's just happy to see you again, right?"

The abominable snowman before me nods his head enthusiastically, almost losing his… _is that a tiny crown!?_ Suddenly, I feel something…twiggy wrap around my torso.

I look down, only to see the same smaller snowman from earlier. "Hi Anna!"

It takes all my willpower not to scream. Then the thing smiles. I feel my eye twitch. Magic. This shit is going to kill me someday.

"Are you all right, Princess?" someone asks me with a wry chuckle.

Tall. Blonde. Bitch lip. I'd know her anywhere.

"Aurora?!" I ask in complete surprise, dusting snow off of my dress, as I try to untangle myself from the smaller snowman—Olaf, if I remember correctly.

"That's  _Princess_ Aurora,  _Princess_ Anna," Aurora rolls her eyes before yawning and stretching. "I know you're still new to the whole 'royalty' thing, but really, is it that hard?"

"Honestly, Aurora, we're all royalty here. Must we keep up the formalities?" a familiar voice asks.

"Snow!" Elsa grins. She grabs my hand as she makes her way to the girl's side. "How  _are_ you? It's been ages!"

I blow air up toward my bangs in a huff. Apparently we're past the whole abominable snowman assaulting me in the middle of a ball. Then I see him. I freeze. At least it feels like the fear, the anger—no the rage—keeps me frozen to the spot. Because if I move, I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him.

Elsa goes pale when she sees my expression, but appears relieved when she sees him. What? Shouldn't she be…afraid? Furious? Why isn't she calling the guards?

"Elsa…" I hiss in her ear, "What the  _hell_ is he doing here!?"

She turns to me, guilt apparent on her face.

"I, um, invited him?" she says uncertainly.

"WHAT!?" I explode.

The ballroom goes silent, and everyone looks at me in surprise.

"S-sorry," I say, blushing, "c-carry on."

I grab Elsa's arm, pulling her in close.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?  _Alone?_ " I hiss.

She nods, a slight fear in her eyes. Good.

"If you'll excuse us, I need to have a  _talk_  with my wife," I say, before dragging Elsa into the nearest hallway, not giving the two astonished princesses a chance to answer.

I'm so angry, it doesn't even register that it's the first time I didn't stumble over the word 'wife.'

"Ooh, she's in trouble!" I hear Aurora whisper to Snow.

"Shut up, Aurora," she retorts.

We reach the hallway, and as soon as the doors close, encasing us in silence, I turn on her.

"What. The. Fuck?" I say, through clenched teeth.

It's a miracle that I was able to form cohesive words. I'm trying real hard not to yell. I'm trying to give her a chance to explain. But,  _fuck_  is it hard. I swear I've never been so angry in my life.

Elsa backs away from me, hands up in surrender. "C-calm down, Anna. I-it's not what you think."

"Then what exactly is it, Elsa? Please, enlighten me as to why you invited  _Hans_ , the man who  _shot you_ , your  _ex-fiancé_ , to a ball at _your_  palace?" I growl, shaking with rage, "Because I swear to God, Elsa, if you don't give me a good reason, _right now_ , I am going to march out there and kill him with my  _bare fucking hands!"_

Elsa's eyes widen. "Whoa, Anna. There's no need for violence!"

I cross my arms, shooting daggers at her. "You're joking."

Now it's her turn to glare at me. "No, I'm not. I can't have you running around killing my guests, Anna!"

"Your guest? He shouldn't  _be_  your guest, Elsa! He tried to fucking  _kill_  you!" I nearly yell. "What the hell were you thinking!? God, are you fucking insane? Do you  _have_ a death wish!?"

She huffs, crossing her arms as well. "Are you going to let me explain, or are you just going to stand there, yelling at me?"

I narrow my eyes, and expel air angrily out of my nostrils. I need to calm down before I do something rash. Like strangling someone. An auburn haired, sideburn growing someone. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.

After a minute or two, I look at Elsa. "Proceed."

Her eyes narrow slightly at my tone, but she continues.

"Prince Hans has been our friend for almost 4 years, Anna. That's why I invited him," she says curtly.

That's it? That's the explanation I get? Are you fucking  _kidding me!?_ I stare at Elsa for a few moments in disbelief.

"That's it?" I say incredulous, "That's all I get? You told me you've only known him for a few months!"

Elsa sighs.

"I said I've known Hans for a few months. Prince Hans, however, I've known for nigh on 6 years. How was I supposed to know he was the bad guy? Though…I guess I should have seen it coming after the whole 'I'm going to kill you for your thrown' incident…" she trails off, her eyes widening as she realizes what she just said. "Oh no—"

"WHAT? HE'S TRIED TO KILL YOU BEFORE!?" I explode cutting her off, no longer able to hold back. "That's it! That's the last straw! I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

I start marching to the doors, when I feel a cool hand on my arm, holding me back.

"Elsa, let me go," I say as calmly as I can.

Which isn't very.

"No. Not until you calm down," she responds.

I'm about to retort, when the doors open revealing a worried looking Kristoff.

"Hey guys, everything okay?" he asks timidly, trying to gage our moods.

Elsa speaks up first, cutting off my response. "Everything's fine, Kristoff. I was trying to remind Anna that Hans is our friend now. Her injuries have caused some memory loss, so you can imagine how upset she was when she saw him here."

Understanding floods Kristoff's features. "I can see why she'd be angry, especially after the 'if only there was someone who loved you' fiasco. I don't really blame you Anna, I almost killed him myself after he just left you to die—"

"Not helping, Kristoff," growls Elsa.

"Right, sorry. But, yeah. You guys forgave him after he fell in love with Princess Snow, and saved her life," he finishes.

…

"Him and… _Snow!_?" I screech mortified, "Are you  _serious!?"_

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he says nonchalantly.

I blink a few times in rapid succession, before sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Explain to me," I say, eyes still shut, "how,  _exactly_ , did that happened again?"

"Something about an apple, and true love's kiss. I-I don't really remember the story, hehe," says Kristoff, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

I look at the two of them for a few moments, before sighing and running a hand through my bangs.

"All right, all right. Fine," I say, "I won't strangle him. But I still don't trust him, so don't expect me to act all buddy-buddy."

Elsa smiles in relief. "Thank you, Anna."

I deflate slightly, and smile in return, as she takes my hand, placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

"Shall we head back?" she asks, "They're probably wondering where we are."

I hesitate, then nod, allowing her to lead us back into the fray. We approach Snow and Aurora, and I blush a deep red as they both raise an eyebrow at me.

"Have a nice talk?" teases Snow, and, if possible, I blush even deeper.

"Anna was having some…memory problems, due to her injuries. She saw your husband and freaked," explains Elsa, and now it's my turn to raise my eyebrows.

_Husband?_ Wow, it's more serious than I thought.

Snow looks confused, then understanding crosses her face. "Oh. Ooooh! Well that's…awkward. What's the last thing she remembers about him?"

"Six years ago," says Elsa, and Snow flinches.

What happened six years ago? I'll have to ask Elsa later. Just then, the devil himself decides to join us.

"Elsa! Anna! It's good to see you! It's been too long! How have you been?" Hans asks, reaching in to hug us, first Elsa, and then me.

I immediately stiffen at the contact, and it takes all my willpower to not punch him in the face. It's very tempting.

Noticing my wariness, he pulls back, looking confused and a little hurt. "Is…everything okay, Anna?"

"Um, dear," cuts in Snow. "Anna doesn't exactly…remember that you're friends."

"What do you mean?" he asks slowly.

"Well, the last thing she remembers about you is…well it's the first time you met. Six years ago? During Elsa's coronation?" says Snow.

With each word, I can see the fear growing in Hans's eyes. What the  _hell_  happened six years ago!? He gulps.

"So, the last thing you remember is…oh no," he turns to Elsa in a panic. "You explained everything, right? How you two forgave me? Because I have to say, I didn't like being punched the first time."

I punched him? Cool. I hope it fucking hurt.

Elsa smiles at Han's panic. "Don't worry, Hans. I told her everything, though she probably won't trust you until she gets her memories back."

Hans turns back to me. The fear in his eyes is gone, but he still acts wary. Good. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"I understand," he smiles. "I suppose this means I'll just have to prove to you that I've changed. Again."

Yeah, good luck.

"Great!" claps Snow, obviously trying to break the tension, "now that that's settled, dear, would you like to dance? I feel like we have to show up these two after that outstanding performance earlier."

Both Elsa and I blush.

"Of course, my love," Hans bows, smiling at her.

I can see at the love and adoration he has for her in that one look. I almost feel bad for hating his guts. Almost. The two of them head off to the dance floor, waving goodbye as they depart.

"I suppose I should find Phillip. I know he'll want to dance as well," sighs Aurora, "It was nice to see you two, Your Majesty, Your Highness."

She curtsies, before wondering off into the crowd, leaving me and Elsa alone once more.

"Is she always that…formal?" I ask as I watch her leave.

"Unfortunately, yes. It can be quite annoying sometimes," replies Elsa, before taking my hand and pulling us back towards the thrones.

When we reach them, Elsa turns to me. "You know, I never did get a chance to ask you where you learned to dance like that. After all, it's not really a common skill where you're from."

I blush, and pretend to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.

"Oh, yea…that," I chuckle nervously, "Well, um, my mom made me take etiquette and ballroom dancing classes until I was fifteen. Something about 'better to have the skills and not need them, then to need them and not have them.' Who would've thought I'd actually use it?"

Elsa smiles at me, adoration glinting in her eyes. "Well I'm glad she did. I had a lot of fun."

I smile back, as we watch the rest of the guests enjoy themselves.

 

*****line break*****

 

The rest of the evening is pretty uneventful. I mean, Elsa and I  _may_  have gotten into a small fight over the last truffle, but we won't get into that. All that matters is that I won.

As the ball begins to wind down, Elsa suddenly leans over to whisper in my ear.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" she ask mischievously.

Noticing her tone, I smirk before answering. "And where exactly would we be going, Your Majesty?" I tease.

Elsa smiles and winks at me, before pulling me towards one of the less conspicuous exits.

When we get outside, I look up and my eyes widen. "Whoa!"

Elsa frowns and follows my gaze upward. "What?"

"The sky's…awake," I say, my eyes still saucers in my amazement at the Northern lights dancing above us.

I've never seen anything so beautiful.

I feel more than hear Elsa chuckle when she places a chaste kiss on my shoulder as she wraps me in a magenta, heavy wool shawl. "You've always said that."

I give her a small smile as I look back at her. I stand corrected. She's sooooo stupid beautiful.

"I have? Wait…I mean…She did?" I ponder aloud.

Elsa returns my small smile. "I've told you, Anna, you and she are the same person, really. And when the solstice comes, you will be whole."

I lower my eyes to the floor, doubt weeding its way into my mind. Are we though? I mean, yeah, we're technically the same person, but…But one of us is married to Elsa, and the other's…not. And Elsa doesn't seem to get that. Sensing my brooding, Elsa turns me around to face her.

"Anna, what's wrong?" she asks softly.

I don't answer her, choosing instead to study the space just above her left shoulder.

"Anna, look at me."

When I don't oblige, she uses her forefinger and thumb to capture my chin, and forces me to look up at her, before trying again. "Please tell me what's wrong?"

Finally, I meet her gaze, but only for a second, before I look away again. "It's nothing."

"Anna, it's hardly ever nothing with you," she says, ducking to look me in the eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I make the mistake of looking up again. Damn that pucker! Why is she so good at that!? I sigh.

"I-it's just…well…Elsa I just feel like maybe you're…confusing your Anna…with me," I stammer.

Elsa looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I say, a little more confidently, "You're always talking about things we've done or said, but…Elsa I hardly know you. I don't have the memories, the experience she has. I wasn't the one who married you. You keep saying that we're the same person, but…I don't think we are. And…and you told me you loved me. I…I really care about you Els, but, I'm just not sure if you were talking to me or…or if you were talking to your wife."

Elsa releases my chin to stroke her own as if in thought. "Anna…"

I cast my gaze downward, unable to meet Elsa's scrutiny. I mean, it's true, isn't it? I'm know I'm right. But…I guess she kinda is too. When I look up, Elsa is holding her elbows and her shoulders are hunched as if she's cold. But I know better.

"Els…I'm sorry, it's just…you see my point, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Anna," Elsa says softly, nodding, but not meeting my eyes. "I guess I just wanted everything to…" she sighs, "not go back to the way things were, but…"

Her voice becomes soft, but I can still hear it break a little. I take a step toward her and take her hands in mine, waiting for her to continue.

"Gods, Anna, I just missed you so much," she looks up at me. I can see tears in her eyes though she hasn't let any escape.

"I missed  _you_ , Anna. It was…"she laughs as she wipes a tear that's finally betrayed her. "It was like—no it _was_  falling in love again."

She looks into my eyes and her grip tightens around my hands. "That's why I told you that I love you, Anna. Because I do. Both of you. You're  _both_  my Anna."

I gulp. I care about her. Hell, maybe I  _do_ love her, but…I can't say it. It's too soon and all of this has just been too much. I need to get my bearings. I need…I need…

"I need time," I say gently.

Elsa nods, smiling softly. "I know. The solstice is coming soon," she brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "All those memories, all those experiences…" Elsa's smile deepens. "You'll have them. And I'll finally have you. All of you."

"Elsa, it's not that simple, I mean…"

She inches closer to me, a digit trailing my jawline delicately and I start to panic, mostly because I'm starting to lean a kiss that I know is coming, and I'm powerless to stop it. I want to kiss that stupid pucker more than anything in the world…either world, but…

Somehow when her frozen lips brush against mine I melt. So much so that I lose my footing, let alone my train of thought. She catches me and pulls me further into her, but that only makes my situation worse. She's way too good at this, I decide through the fog of my thoughts.

"Anna…" Elsa whispers and trails her lips along my jaw.

I'm panting over her shoulder, trying to catch my breath. Damn you, Elsa. I'll get you for this… I smirk when I realize how. I pull away, causing her let out a small groan.

"Anna, what are you—Aaack!" she suddenly reels back, sputtering as she tries to wipe the snow from her face.

I can't breathe. I literally cannot breathe. The look on her face? _Priceless!_

"Anna! What the hell!" she exclaims, glaring at me.

I merely buckle over in response, holding my ribs. "E-Elsa!" I still can't breathe as I burst out in another set of guffaws. "Oh my God, you should have seen you  _face!_ "

That look of indignant shock is just too much. Elsa narrows her eyes and brushes snow off her shoulder. Then she smiles deviously, twirling her arms in a circle so that a giant snowball appears. Holy…

My eyes bulge from my head. It's so freaking huge she has to hold it over her head. _Maybe_ picking a snow fight with the Snow Queen was a bad call. A very,  _very_  bad call.

"Hehe," I laugh half-heartedly, then chuckle nervously. "W-whatcha gonna do with that, Els?"

Elsa lips split in a Cheshire grin, and she starts running after me. I squawk in fright, nearly tripping over myself as I run away. Shit, shit, shit!

She chases me, both of us laughing as we tear around the castle grounds. We look like a couple of hooligans. I love it. I round a corner, trying to stay out of the sights of her massive snowball, when suddenly I run straight into something—well more like someone—knocking me on my rear.

"Anna Marie Bjorgman! What do you think you are doing?" scolds Gerda, looking down at me, hands on her hips.

Bjorgman? What?

Before I can answer, Elsa appears, a triumphant smirk on her lips. "I have you no—"

She stops mid-sentence the second she sees Gerda, her cheeks lighting up like a beacon. The snowball immediately hits the floor behind her with a dull thud.

"G-Gerda! W-what are you d-doing out here?" stammers Elsa as I get to my feet, rubbing my rear in pain.

I gotta say, I really love it when Elsa's embarrassed. Or flustered. It's so cute.

Gerda raises a knowing eyebrow at the two of us. "I was looking for you two, Your Majesty. You didn't really think you could disappear from your own ball without anyone noticing, did you?"

Elsa blushes deeper and ducks her head, mumbling a small "no."

As I look at the scene in front of me it takes all my willpower not to burst into laughter. Elsa's getting scolded. By her maid. And she's acting like a little girl who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

This is just too  _cute_!

Noticing my silent snickering, Gerda turns on me. "Don't think you're getting out of this, young lady. You're in just as much trouble as she is. You both know better than to just go running around the castle grounds at night! It's dangerous! And careless! Especially since you've just returned, Anna! I know you two are just enjoying your reunion, but don't you think you can wait for the snowball fight until morning?"

We both slowly nod our heads in shame, neither of us taking our eyes off the ground.

Gerda sighs. "Come on, let's get you two inside. I'll make you some hot chocolate to warm you up. It's freezing out here. And I don't want to hear how the cold never bothered you, Your Majesty," she says, effectively cutting off Elsa's remark as she gives us both a warm, motherly smile.

Elsa rolls her eyes, but smiles at the maid. "Hot chocolate sounds wonderful, Gerda."

Gerda chuckles, and begins to make her way back to the castle. I smile as well, taking Elsa's hand. I decide I really like holding her hand. Like,  _really_  like it. It almost makes me feel…safe. Elsa chuckles at me, before giving me a small kiss on the forehead.

"Come on, we should probably head back before Gerda has a heart attack," she says.

I smile again and nod, as she leads us back to the castle, following Gerda. The head maid stops suddenly and turns around. I skid to a halt, nearly falling over again, making Elsa laugh. I stick out my tongue, but quickly draw it back in when I see Gerda giving me the  _look_.

I can see why Elsa has a hard time standing up to her, even as Queen.

Gerda is almost, but not quite able to hide her smirk at my expense as she turns to Elsa. "Shall I take your hot chocolate to your and Princess Anna's chambers after you take your leave from the ball, Your Majesty?"

"Yes, we'll be in our chambers. Thank you, Gerda."

Wait…what? Our…chambers…

_Our_ …chambers!?

 

*****line break*****

 

"No."

"Come on, Anna."

"Not gonna happen."

"You're acting like a child."

"Still no."

Elsa glares at me, hands on her hips. "Are you really that uncomfortable with this?"

I turn my beet red face away, and cross my arms. "I hardly even know you, Elsa!"

She raises one eyebrow at me. "It's just sleeping, Anna!"

"In the same bed!" I exclaim throwing my hands up in embarrassment.

Elsa chuckles—she actually freakin' chuckles—at me. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

I grumble and shoot a glare at her, before grabbing a pillow and throwing it on the floor.

"Really, Anna?" deadpans Elsa, and I lay on the floor as my answer.

She sighs, before moving to stand over me. "And what will the maids think when they come to wake us in the morning?"

"That I pissed you off and had to sleep on the floor," I retort, closing my eyes.

"Get up, Anna. It's a large bed. I'm sure we can stay on our own sides if it really bothers you that much," she says, and I can hear some hurt in her words.

I crack an eye open, only to see her holding her arms across her stomach and looking away from me. Great. Now I feel bad. Damn it.

"Elsa," I say scrambling to my feet, "I-it's not that I d-don't want to...it's just…I mean I'm not—"

I stop when I see her trying to hold back a smirk. Was she…? That bitch! She was totally faking it!

"You little…!" I throw the pillow at her, and she bursts into laughter.

"Oh come on, Anna," she chuckles as I pout, "You were asking for it. Now, come. It's time for bed."

I glare at her again, but I know I'm not going to win this battle. I sigh, and allow her to lead me to the bed, but stop when she climbs in.

She turns expectantly. "Anna?"

"I-I don't know Els…" I say shyly, and she rolls her eyes at me.

"We're not going to have sex, Anna," she deadpans, earning a swat from me as I blush furiously.

I grumble, before slowly sliding underneath the sheets, as close to the edge as possible. I hear her sigh, before a cool hand wraps around my abdomen, quickly pulling me into her embrace. I squeak, and try to escape, but she's incredibly strong for someone so petite.

"Elsa!" I huff indignantly, earning a soft chuckle as she spoons me.

I'm not getting out of this, am I? I lay as stiffly as I can, just to spite her. I may not win the battle, but I will win the war. After a few moments, I feel her sigh again, and she starts stroking my hair. I have to admit, it feels pretty awesome. And for someone who has control over snow and ice, she's incredibly warm.

Man am I tired. I didn't notice just how exhausted I was before, but now it's hitting me like a freight train. Reluctantly, I begin to relax into her embrace.

Elsa chuckles again, still running her fingers through my hair. "See? Was that so hard?"

"Shut it," I mumble, my eyes dropping shut.

I feel her place a soft kiss on my shoulder as I slowly begin to fade. "Goodnight, my love."

"goomite," I mumble, as I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	15. Chapter fourteen

Chapter 14

 

_I did not become someone different_

_That I did not want to be_

_But I'm new here_

_Will you show me around_

_No matter how far wrong you've gone_

_You can always turn around_

_-"I'm New Here"_

_Gil Scott-Heron_

 

The next thing I know there's a sharp knocking. Shave and a haircut? Really?

I yawn cavernously. "Who is it?"

I can feel myself about to drool as I prop my head up and begin to doze again, sitting up.

"Sorry to wake you, Ma'am."

"No no no no," I say and begin to stretch my limbs. "I've been up for hours," I half say, half yawn.

I let my head rest again.

When I snore, I'm jolted awake. "Who is it?"

"Still me ma'am," the same voice answers.

Whoever it is almost sounds amused.

"Time to ready for the day, Ma'am," the voice says and this time I distinctly hear a chuckle.

Wait…why does he keep calling me 'Ma'am'? Where am I? I finally open my eyes, everything from the last two days rushing back. Oh, that's right.

I rub my eyes and look around the room. When I see myself in the mirror, I roll my eyes and laugh briefly. I've got some impressive bedhead going. Like, I should enter a contest. Then someone next to me sits up.

"We'll be right out, Kai," Elsa says through a yawn, her eyes still closed.

My eyes widen. Oh. My. God. I clamp a hand over my mouth in an attempt to control my sudden burst of laughter.

Elsa finally opens her eyes at the sound. "What?"

I shake my head, my chest aching from a lack of oxygen as I go into hysterics.

"Anna, what?" persist Elsa, sounding slightly annoyed.

"I-it's…it's just…oh my God, Elsa, your  _hair!"_  I laugh, unable to hold it back any longer.

She looks at me confused, reaching a hand up to her scalp. As soon as her fingers come in contact with her hair, her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, and her face turns cherry red. Suddenly, she jumps from the bed, and runs over to the closet mirror.

She groans as she takes in the  _enormous_  mane of platinum locks that is almost standing straight up from her head. And I thought I had bad bedhead. I swear, her hair is defying gravity. Her reaction only makes me laugh harder, and I almost fall off the bed, trying to breathe.

"Shut up, Anna," she growls, as she runs a brush through her hair in an attempt to tame it.

After a few moments, I notice that brushing it isn't doing much. Sighing, I rise and move to stand behind her.

"Here," I chuckle taking the brush from her, "let me."

She grumbles, but allows me to gently untangle her hair. It's so soft, despite its unkemptness. When it's manageable, I find myself massaging her scalp more than anything else. I start from the base of her neck, and I see her close her eyes to savor the touch in the mirror. I can't help a small, smug grin. I'm still combing my fingers through her hair when a small tap sounds at the door.

"Your Majesty? Your Highness?" I hear Gerda call.

Elsa jumps at the sound, and I giggle, realizing she had fallen back to sleep.

"J-just a few more minutes, Gerda!" she calls, fighting back a yawn.

I hear the maid chuckle. "Of course, Your Majesty. I'm just informing you that breakfast will be served soon."

"Thank you, Gerda! We'll be down shortly!" replies Elsa.

I hear Gerda's fading footsteps, as Elsa begins to stand.

"Wait," I say, pushing her back down.

She looks up at me curiously, and I smile at her. "I'm not done yet."

Elsa chuckles, realizing what I mean, and sits still while I finish her hair.

"So," I say, as I twist her locks into her signature French braid, "what are you plans for today? Like, what exactly do queens do all day?"

"Unfortunately, I'll be incredibly busy the next couple of days. I have several meetings, and a mountain of paperwork I need to catch up on. It really does stack up when you disappear for months at a time," she chuckles nervously, "But we can still have our meals together."

"Uh huh," I say, finishing off her braid, "and, what exactly am  _I_  supposed to do while you're in these meetings all day?"

"What is it you would like to do?" Elsa asks, turning to face me.

"Honestly? I just want to spend the day with you. Learn a little more about you, me…us. This place," I say shyly as I begin braiding my own hair into my signature twin plates. "If I'm going to be 'Princess Anna,' then I need to know at least something about her life, don't you think?"

"Are you seriously suggesting that I play hooky?" Elsa asks walking towards the closet.

"…maybe…"

Elsa sighs. "I can't just abandon my duties, Anna"

I pout at her as she returns, carrying two dresses.

"Don't give me that look," she deadpans.

I give her my biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes. I know it'll work. No one can resist my puppy eyes. No one.

"Anna…" groans Elsa, and I know I've won. "At least let me go to my morning meetings. I really don't want to have to reschedule them. Again."

I sigh. I guess that's better than nothing.

"Promise you'll come find me when you're done?" I ask.

"Promise," Elsa says as she finishes dressing, taking a step toward me and kissing my cheek. "In the meantime, why don't you check out the library? I know how much you enjoy reading. I can show you how to get there after breakfast?"

I nod my head in agreement, my eyes a still little wide from her show of affection. After all, it's still pretty new to  _me._ The library. Right. I do love me a good book.

She smiles at me. "Good, now that that's settle, let's get you dressed."

She holds up a simple blue, black and teal dress. I groan. Another dress? Really?

Elsa chuckles, apparently reading my mind. "You're going to have to get used to wearing these, Anna. You're expected to dress appropriately."

I shoot her a glare, grumbling as she helps me into the abomination. I _really_  hate dresses.

 

*****line break*****

 

"Ugh," I exhale, collapsing on the small couch I've been reading on for the past few hours. "Where  _is_  she?"

I hear a soft chuckle. "Relax, Your Highness. Her meetings probably just ran a little late. She'll be here."

"But Gerda, she told me noon and it's all ready, like, noon-thirty!" I exclaim, throwing my hands dramatically.

"Oh don't be such a drama queen," quips the maid.

Seriously,  _why_  does everyone keep calling me that!? I'm about to retort, when, finally, Elsa walks through the library doors.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologizes, "the council just wouldn't come to an agreement. This one want's money, that one want's land…I swear those greedy old bastards will be the death of me."

She slumps down on the couch next me, placing a kiss on my forehead and throwing her arm across her face. I smile and weave our hands together. Though nearly hidden beneath the arm resting on her forehead, I see a small smile emerge on Elsa's lips.

"I'll leave you two ladies alone," smiles Gerda, exiting the room. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do!" I pipe happily.

And then, we are alone. Finally. It's quiet for a few minutes as I let Elsa unwind from the morning. I don't mind. It's actually quite nice just sitting here with her. I could get used to this. As we sit, I feel Elsa remove her arm from her face, and start to play with my hands, humming softly. She starts gently tracing patterns on my palm, a small smile on her lips. It actually feels pretty amazing. I sigh, relaxing further into the couch. Finally, Elsa breaks the silence.

"So," she says, still playing with my hands. , "I was thinking we could go on a little picnic for lunch? We could even pack some sandwiches and maybe even some chocolate?"

"That sounds awesome!" I say, quickly sitting up and causing her to laugh, "Where would we have it? I think I saw a garden on the way here that looked like,  _super_  pretty! Wait, you already know that. It is your castle after all, right? Hehe. Or, Ooh! We could have Kristoff take us somewhere! I bet this place is beautiful in the snow! We could find some secluded hill somewhere! Under an oak tree! That would be perfect! Though, then we'd need to dress a little warmer…well I mean I would—" Elsa silences me with a quick kiss.

"Calm down, Anna," she chuckles, causing me to blush, "I already had a place in mind."

"You do?" I ask, "Where?"

I swear Elsa's eyes twinkle—like literally  _twinkle_ —and her lips spread in a huge smile. "You'll see."

 

*****line break*****

 

"How much further?"

Elsa rolls her eyes at me and smiles as I ask for the umpteenth time. "It won't be long now. We're almost there."

"That's what you keep saying, but we've been riding for  _hours!"_  I complain.

"Oh quit your whining. We can't have left more than half an hour ago," she quips, still smiling.

I stick my tongue out at her, causing her to chuckle. We ride in silence, and I entertain myself by studying Elsa. It's amazing how regal she looks, riding straight-backed in her ice-blue dress atop her snow white horse. It's not hard to believe she's the Queen.

What the hell did I do to deserve someone like her?

…

Nothing. I didn't do anything. _She_  did. Anna Bjorgman. 'Princess Consort of Arendelle' Anna. Elsa's  _wife_  Anna.

I sigh, my good mood from earlier slowly dwindling as my thoughts continue to run rampant. I don't deserve to be here with Elsa. She does. I wonder where she is. She's obviously alive. I wouldn't be here if she wasn't. But…why isn't Elsa looking for her? And…and what if she comes back? What would Elsa do? What would I do? Would I make her choose between the two of us?

Or would I do the right thing and let them be happy together?

I mean, I really like her. And…and I think I might be falling in love with her. I glance back at Elsa, and, noticing my gaze, she gives me a huge, loving smile, that I can't help but return, despite my thoughts.

When the time comes, would I be strong enough to let her go?

Noticing my sudden mood change, Elsa pulls her horse up next to mine. "Is something the matter, Anna? You're not usually so quiet."

Should I tell her? I mean…I don't want to upset her. I don't want to ruin our day. No. No, I won't tell her. I don't want her to worry. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

I give her my perfected 'fake' smile. "Nothing, I was just enjoying the scenery."

Elsa doesn't seem to buy it.

"Are you sure?" she presses.

"Yes."

Elsa furrows her brow, and it looks like she's about to call me out on my very blatant lie, but she's interrupted by my sudden gasp of awe as we crest the mountain we've been climbing.

Oh. My.  _God!_

It's beautiful! The way it glints in the light, the way the blues and purples reflect onto the surrounding snow…I just…I can't even describe it!

"Did you make this?" I ask, still in awe.

"Yes," Elsa chuckles at my reaction to the enormous ice palace. "I take it that means you approve?"

I nod my head enthusiastically, never taking my eyes off the masterpiece. "It's gorgeous! Seriously Els, you really outdid yourself."

I finally turn to face her, only to notice her blushing at my praise. God this girl is too  _cute!_

"Would…would you like to go inside?" she asks timidly.

"Uh, Hell yeah!" I exclaim excitedly.

I jump off the horse, stopping to grab her hand and our picnic basket, before dragging her up the stairs.

"Anna, slow down," she chuckles, "the castle isn't going anywhere."

I make a face at her, but slow down as I reach the doors. I reach out slowly, and place a hand on the door. It's cool to the touch, but not overly so. It's actually quite pleasant. I give the door a gentle push, and it glides open without a sound.

My jaw hits the floor.

If the outside was beautiful, then the inside is ethereal. The staircase, the chandelier, the  _fountain_. I've never seen anything so amazing. Maybe this magic stuff isn't so bad if it can make stuff like this.

"Wow," I say, unable to form any other words.

And, really, there are no words.

"Do you really like it?" ask Elsa shyly.

I turn and smile at her. "Uh,  _yeah_! Why wouldn't I? This place is amazing!"

Elsa smiles softly. "It's nice to be inviting you in rather than telling you to go back to Arendelle this time."

"Huh?" I frown, completely lost.

"Nothing. Well…when I first made this place, it was because I was running away from Arendelle, and…you."

I frown further, and finally gaining the courage, ask "You mean the Princess?"

Elsa sighs. "Yes. You. Your other half, Anna."

I sigh in return. Apparently we're going to agree to disagree on that front.

"Anyway," Elsa says.

"Nice job of changing the subject, there," I tease. "Smooth."

"Shut up and follow me," Elsa rolls her eyes, but she's grinning too.

She holds out her hand and I take it. After climbing the gorgeous staircase, we come to a dining hall, the table made of ice, of course. Elsa begins unpacking the picnic basket she brought with us. Bread. Cheese. More bread. More cheese. Sandwich fixings. Fruit. Berries. What must be a pound of chocolates. A thermos.

"Hot chocolate," Elsa explains as she sets it down along with two mugs.

"This  _is_ a picnic for just us, right?" I laugh as I ask. "You could feed Arendelle's entire guard with this, Els."

Elsa merely raises a brow at me, her features otherwise stone-faced. "Anna. Who are you kidding?"

I gape at her. She laughs.

"How dare you," I chuckle with her. "Calling me fat?"

"No, you talk all the calories off."

I gape at her again, my jaw dropping further. Looking for any weapon I can seize, I finally settle on a blueberry and pelt it at her. Elsa blocks the berry from hitting her square in the face, and I pout.

"It's not nice to throw things at people, Anna," she smirks as she pours my mug of cocoa.

"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and feed your fat girlfriend."

She chuckles and continues pouring her own mug, obviously choosing to ignore the fact that I said 'girlfriend' and not 'wife.'

"So," I say, as I make myself an enormous sandwich, "Are you going to tell me what you meant earlier? When you said you made this place to escape from…me?"

As I talk, Elsa's shoulders start to creep up to her ears.

"I'd…rather not talk about that, Anna," she says quietly.

"Please?" I plead. "You know, I kind of need to know about your—our—past if I'm going to pretend to be your wife."

Elsa's brows furrow at the word 'pretend' but she says nothing.

"Come on, Els! It can't be that bad, can it?" I say, and Elsa scoffs—she actually scoffs—at me.

"Fine," she says, "if you want to know so bad, fine. I'll tell you," she snaps, causing me to raise an eyebrow at her.

"Sorry," she says meekly, "it's just…it's kind of a sore subject."

"It's alright, Els. You don't have to tell me if it bothers you that much," I say gently, taking her hand in mine.

"No, you need to know this. It's…it has to do with how we fell in love," she says, giving me a small smile.

I lean in, now excited for the story. What can I say? I'm a bit of a romantic.

Elsa takes a breath. "Remember when I said there was an incident when we were children that caused my father to hide me from the world?" she asks and I nod my head. "W-well, when we were younger, we were best friends. One night, I think you were about 5, you were staying the night, and we had snuck out of bed. We were playing, like we always did, and…things got a little out of control, and I…accidently struck you with my powers."

Elsa flinches at the memory, but continues. "We had to take you to the trolls to save your life, but they took all memories of my magic from your mind. After that, my father forbid me to see you, and locked me away until I learned to control my powers. I cut off all communication with you, without a reason as too why. I shut you out. But you wouldn't give up on me. For thirteen years, you would sneak into the palace, and would come knocking at my door, but I was always too afraid to open up. I was scared that I'd hurt someone again. I couldn't even go to my own mother's funeral," Elsa shudders, a tear rolling down her cheek.

I give her hand a gentle squeeze, trying to comfort her.

"On my twenty-first birthday, my father, for reasons that are still unknown to me, decided to step down and hand the thrown over to me. There was a big coronation party, and I was crowned Queen of Arendelle. And I saw you for the first time in years, hanging off of Hans arm, claiming that you were engaged. It…it broke my heart. And then you tried to confront me as too why I had ignored you for years, and…and I lost it. I let my powers get out of control," Elsa says, looking up into my eyes.

"I was so afraid, Anna. Afraid that you would think of me as a monster. So I ran. I created this place, so I could live in solitude, and never hurt anyone again. Little did I know, my powers had thrown Arendelle into an eternal winter."

Elsa pauses, letting me absorb the story so far.

"What happened then?" I ask.

Elsa smiles at me. "You came after me. You and Kristoff. You tried to convince me that I wasn't a monster, and that I could end the winter I had cast," she says. Then she frowns. "But I didn't believe you, and I became more upset upon learning what I had done. I…I struck you again…this time in the heart. I-I didn't mean to, but my powers were out of my control. Fearful of hurting you again, I threw you out."

"Eventually, Hans, along with some guards, came to bring me back to end the winter. There was a struggle, and I was captured, and thrown into a dungeon, where I was told that you had yet to return. I managed to escape, only to see the damage I had caused. I tried to run again, but Hans found me. He…he told me that I had killed you," more tears begin to fall from Elsa's eyes. "I broke, Anna. I…I couldn't live with the fact that I had killed you…the love of my life. I heard Hans draw his sword, to strike me down, but I just couldn't find the strength to move. I thought I deserved to die."

I feel tears in my eyes at the thought of Elsa feeling so…worthless. Then I feel angry at Hans all over again. I swear, the next time I see him, I'm going to punch him. I don't care if we're 'friends.'

Oblivious to my inner thoughts, Elsa continues. "I waited for him to cut me down, but…it never came. I heard the sword strike something solid, and then there was a large shockwave," Elsa was crying freely now, deep into her memories. "I-I looked up and s-saw you s-standing there…protecting me. A-and…and you were frozen. I…I froze you, Anna. And y-you still saved me."

I stiffen.

What? She…she froze her? But…but I'm still here, so…what?

"Um…Els? W-what happened then?" I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She looks up at me, sniffling. "W-well, I was…God I was devastated. I…I held you for the first time in years, and I cried. I thought I had lost you. But…but then something…happened. You began to warm up. And then…then you were holding me. You were alive! I didn't know how, and, frankly, I didn't care. Because you were okay. And…that was the first time you told me you loved me."

Elsa smiled at me, and I return the gesture. "That's when I knew the answer to controlling my powers was love. I was able to thaw the kingdom, and bring back the summer. It was also about that time that I learned that Hans was only with you to get close to me so he could rule Arendelle, though I'm not too sure how he thought that would actually work. Apparently he had left you to die in the library, after telling you that there was no one who loved you," she says, and I growl.

She's really not helping his case.

Elsa chuckles at my reaction. "Don't worry, you got him back. I must say, you really know how to pack a punch."

I chuckle as well, more at the fact that I…well she…actually punched him.

"That, um, that's just about it, I guess," says Elsa, her shoulders up to her ears again as she wipes away her tears.

I reach over, and pull her into a hug. "That's one hell of a story, Els. I can see why you didn't want to talk about it."

I pull away, and place a hand on her cheek. "But I'm glad you did."

She smiles and leans into my touch. "It felt good to say it. I…I never really talked about it before. It was just too…painful."

We sit like that for a few minutes, before Elsa speaks again.

"Come on," she says, still sniffing a bit, "let's not let all this food go to waste. Gerda would have a fit."

I chuckle, withdrawing my hand as we dig into our lunch.

 

*****line break*****

 

We finish, and just as Elsa predicted, I'm up to my freakin' ears with food by the time I finally slow down.

"Ahhhhhh," I sigh in satisfaction. "I was starving."

Elsa closes her lips tightly, and I can tell she's trying not to say anything.

"Shut it," I warn then laugh.

Elsa puts on an innocent face. "I was only going to ask if you wanted some of the chocolates for dessert."

My eyes become saucers.

I forgot about the chocolate. "Hand 'em over!" I say, extending my hand for the bag of bonbons.

Elsa picks up the bag, opens it, inspects it, and hums.

I narrow my eyes. "Hand 'em over, Els." I say again.

She reaches into the bag and takes one out, inspecting it like it's work of art or something.

She hums again and I huff. "Elllls," I whine, my voice's pitch going up and down.

"I'm sorry," Elsa pretends to have just noticed me. "Did you want something?"

You little flirt. I narrow my eyes again in answer.

Elsa grins mischievously. "Come and get 'em."

Well that's a challenge if I ever heard one. Without warning, I suddenly leap across the table in an attempt to tackle the Queen. Unfortunately, she's too quick, and dodges my attack, her eyes now as wide as saucers. Apparently she didn't expect me to launch myself across the dining room. I land on the floor with a loud "oof," just a few feet from her.

Elsa smirks, and pops one of the bonbons in her mouth, letting out a long "mmmmmm" that leaves me blushing. "You'll have to do better than that, Anna."

I growl—yes  _growl_ —and shoot after her as she takes off, the bag of goodies clutched tightly in her hands.

"Get back here!" I shout, laughing as I chase her through the palace.

"Not on your life, haha!" she responds, somehow managing to keep a good three feet in front of me.

Man she's fit! Suddenly, I slip on a particularly slippery patch of ice, and down I go. My momentum keeps me going forward, even though I'm now on my back, and I feel myself speed up, heading right for the blond.

"Elsa, watch out!" I shout, causing her to look back.

Her eyes widen in surprise, but before she can move out of the way, I collide into her. She lands on top of me, as we continue to slide. Right towards the stairs.

Oh shit.

"Elsa!" I exclaim, just as we shoot of the top step into the air.

As we fall towards the floor, I throw my hands up in an attempt to protect my face, as Elsa throws her hands out, instantly creating a thick layer of soft powder. We land in an explosion of white, burying us in snow.

After realizing that we aren't dead, I open my eyes, only to see bright blue ones looking up at me. It's quiet for a moment, as we merely blink at each other, astonished at what just happened, before we both starting laughing hysterically.

"That. Was. Awesome!" I exclaim, causing Elsa to double over again. "Let's do it again!"

Elsa looks at me like I'm insane. Which I probably am.

Our laughter slowly dies out, leaving us gazing into each other's eyes, and, again, I'm blown away by just how  _gorgeous_  she is. It's then I notice that we landed with me practically on top of her. I blush, but I don't move. To be honest, I really don't want to. I continue to stare at her, and my eyes, of their own accord, flick down to her lips. And, again, I'm consumed with the overwhelming want—no  _need_ —to kiss her.

"You know you can kiss me if you want to, Anna," Elsa whispers, reading my mind.

I look back up to her eyes, and unconsciously lick my lips. Then, slowly, I lean down and capture her lips with mine. My eyes flutter shut, and I melt into the kiss. I swear, I don't think I'll ever get used to kissing her. It's just…it's so…so  _amazing._

Her lips start moving with mine, and I moan, kissing her back with more intensity. I feel her arms wrap around to grasp my back, as she responds in kind. We stay, locked in our embrace for a moment, before I feel her hands start to trail down my back. Suddenly, the room is spinning, and I'm on my back, with Elsa on top of me. She pulls back and looks at me with hooded eyes.

"I love you, Anna," she whispers, "I love you so much."

Whoa. Hold up. This is going a little too far. I blush, unable to meet her eyes, but she doesn't seem to notice. She leans in and begins trailing kisses down my jaw.

She latches onto my neck, and I nearly throw my head back in pleasure.

Too fast.

I moan again, grasping onto her back.

This is too fast.

"Anna…" she moans, her hands trailing up my sides.

Too fast, too fast,  _too fast!_

My eyes snap open and I gasp, sitting up quickly, pushing her off of me.

"S-stop!" I exclaim, breathless, "J-just…just stop."

Elsa looks up at me from the snow, hurt and lust in her eyes. "Anna? What's wrong?"

I close my eyes and shake my head as I try to regulate my breathing.

"Anna?" I feel a cool hand on my shoulder, and I look up into her cerulean eyes.

"I-I…" I start, before running a hand through my hair. "I'm…I'm sorry Els. It was…it was just…too fast…I-I'm not ready…"

I look away, tears in my eyes. God, I am such a  _fuck-up_!

"No you're not, Anna. Don't ever think that!" exclaims Elsa, and I realize I must have spoken aloud. "It's okay if you're not ready. Really," she gives me a small smile. "I know that this is all new to you."

I sniff, and finally meet her gaze. "Do you, Elsa?"

She looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you really understand that I'm me? That I'm not…her? I mean, you say you do, but then you go and say or do something that says otherwise!" I exclaim, my earlier turmoil turning into anger and frustration. "I like you, Els. Really, I do, but I'm not her! And I won't be her replacement! And…and if you can't see me for  _me_ …then I don't know if this is gonna work, Elsa," I look away, crossing my arms as Elsa looks at the floor.

It's quiet for a few moments, and I start to feel my anger fade. Then I hear her sniff. I look back to Elsa, and notice her shoulders shaking as she silently cries, tears running down her face.

My heart drops, and instantly I'm pulling her into a hug. "Elsa, I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you cry," I coo softly as I run a hand through her hair.

I swear this girl is going to be the death of me. She clings to me like a life raft, her tears soaking through my dress. After a few minutes, she calms down enough to speak.

"I-I j-just miss her s-so m-much…" she cries, pulling me tighter to her.

Ouch. That stings.

"B-but…but then I found you…and…oh Anna, I'm sorry," she continues. "I never meant to make you feel like you were just some replacement," she pulls away and looks me in the eyes. "I care about you.  _You_ , Anna Christiansen. And I'm trying, really I am."

I sigh. "I know, Els. And…I'm sorry I got angry. It wasn't fair to you."

She sniffles again, finally pulling from my embrace.

"No," she says softly, "you had every right."

It's silent for a few minutes as we each gather our thoughts.

"Let's make a pact," I say suddenly, breaking the silence. "A pact that...you'll try to remember that I'm my own person…and that I'll try to remember that, somewhere deep,  _deep_  down, I'm you're Anna too."

Elsa gives me a small smile. "How about we just start over?"

I cock my head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Elsa gives a soft chuckle.

"I mean, I want to court you, Anna. You're right, you are your own person. And I want to get to know you. Really know you. I want to know about your childhood. I want to know your hobbies, your dreams. I want to know everything," she smiles at me as I gape. "Will you let me start over?"

I stare at her, before breaking into a large smile. "I…I think I'd like that."

Elsa smiles even bigger.

"Come on," I say, standing, pulling her with me, "let's get going. I'm sure Gerda's wondering where we are."

Elsa nods, and, with a wave of her hand, the snow dissipates, leaving the foyer looking as if nothing ever happened. Before we start our trek back to the castle, Elsa pulls me into a tight hug.

"Thank you," she says softly, "for giving me a second chance."

I sigh gently into her embrace, and all I can think is: Did I ever really have a choice?

 


	16. Chapter fifteen

Chapter 15

 

_When you see my face_

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way_

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell_

_-"Gives You Hell"_

_American Rejects_

 

"98…99…100! Here I come, ready or not!" I shout, pulling my hands from my face.

With a smile I begin searching the many rooms of the castle for a certain snowman.

"Olaf! Where are you?" I call, knowing full well he won't answer.

As I walk down the hall, I hear a faint giggling from behind one of the curtains. I smirk, and walk by it casually, before stopping and bringing my hand to my chin in mock thought.

"Hmmm, I wonder where he could be?" I say to no one in particular.

I hear the snowman giggle again, and I smile, knowing I've fooled him. Suddenly, I lunge for the lump behind the curtain, pulling a struggling Olaf into my arms.

"Got you!" I announce proudly as I begin to tickle his sides, causing him to squeal before dissolving into giggles.

I have to admit, it's still kind of weird to be tickling a  _snowman_ , but he's so cute, like a little kid. It's almost like having a little brother. After a few minutes, I put him down, but not before giving him a warm hug. Boy does he love warm hugs.

"That was fun, Anna!" he exclaims excitedly, "Can we play again? This time you can hide and I can seek!"

I chuckle at his enthusiasm, but I'd expected nothing less. After all, this is his favorite game. Like seriously, we've played every day for the past month.

"Okay," I say, ruffling his hair—er I mean, twigs.

"Yay! Okay, I'm going to start counting, and you start hiding!" says Olaf excitedly, turning around and putting his—uh branches?—over his eyes.

"1…2…3…" he starts, and I giggle again, before tearing off down the hall.

What can I say, this is one of my favorite games too.

"All right, hiding spot, hiding spot, hiding spot," I mutter to myself after running what I hope is a good distance from the snowman.

I really need to find somewhere good this time. I swear, Olaf is like, the master of seeking. I swivel my head back and forth several times as I walk through the castle. I hear some of the maids' chuckle at me, knowing exactly what I'm up to, but I ignore them. Then I see it. A small broom closet.

"Aha!" I exclaim in a whisper, in case the snowman is close by, "Perfect!"

I quickly look both ways, to make sure Olaf's not around, before I quietly slide inside the closet. I snicker into my hand as I try to get comfortable in the cramped space.

"He'll never find me here!"

I sit there for a moment, before I hear something just outside my hiding place. Seriously? It couldn't have been more than two minutes! This has got to be a record of some kind. I mean, we're in a freakin' castle. I could've been anywhere!

I suck in my breath, trying to stay as quiet as I can. I see the doorknob start to turn, and I curse quietly to myself. Olaf is  _way_  too good at this. I press myself into the back wall, though I know it won't help me at all. Suddenly, the door flies open, and I'm face to face with a familiar blond.

"Elsa!" I stage whisper, completely surprised. "H-hey!"

Elsa says nothing. She just smirks at me, an evil glint in her eyes. Suddenly she steps into the closet, and closes the door behind her with a soft click.

"Uh, w-whatcha doin Els?" I ask nervously, as she closes the small amount of space between us.

"Playing," she purrs, before crashing her lips to mine.

I squeak in surprise, causing her to chuckle against my lips.

"Shh," she says, pushing back a little to look me in the eyes, "you don't want to give away our hiding spot, do you?"

I shake my head quickly, not trusting myself to speak. Elsa places her hands on the wall now once again at my back, trapping me. A corner of her lips turns up when I gulp. She dips toward me, her head askance so that our lips glide together effortlessly.

A month. A month of this and I'm still not used to it. I don't think I ever will be. I cling to her, because every brush of her lips against mine feels like some sort of spell to take my breath away. She's magic. Pure magic. I can still feel her smirk on my lips, but I couldn't care in the slightest. I'm a little busy.

My heart starts hammering when she lowers one hand to rest on my hip and I feel her tongue on mine at the same time. I pull her closer and by her slight hesitation, I can tell she's surprised. I don't really blame her. I usually push her away at this point. But I can't bring myself to do it this time. I just can't.

I've never felt like I've only just come up for air and out of breath at the same time before. Encouraged, she presses herself closer and I'm glad her mouth muffles a moan that escapes from me. She moans too and I swear, I'm going to lose it. No sound has ever been so beautiful.

_Click!_

"I found you!" Olaf cheers and I slip out from beneath Elsa before he can really see anything.

I can tell my face must be a little red, so I cover my cheeks with my hands as if in surprise. "You did!" I say and chuckle shakily.

I hear Elsa's forehead slump onto the wall behind me and have to stop myself from laughing.

Olaf peers behind me. "Elsa! You're in here too! Bonus!"

Elsa stands, still facing the wall and straightens her dress, coughing once before turning. "Yes, you did," she smiles fondly at the little snowman.

Bitch looks like nothing happened! Not fair. So not fair. I huff aloud, blowing a stray hair out of my face.

Olaf and Elsa look toward me and I chuckle once more, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well, I guess it's your turn, Olaf."

"Actually," Elsa takes my arm gently. "We have a meeting of sorts. Lunch. I need you to attend."

I frown in confusion. Usually Elsa doesn't bother me with meetings since I wouldn't have much of an idea about anything going on in them.

"A meeting?" I ask. "With whom?"

I see a hint of mirth flash in Elsa's eyes.

Yeah, yeah, so those etiquette 'review' lessons have been sticking.

Elsa recovers quickly. "With Aurora, Cinderella, Rapunzel and …Snow."

"Oh!" I say surprised. "Great! I haven't seen them since the ball when I…to celebrate my return."

"Yes…" Elsa hesitates and averts her eyes.

I frown further. "Wait…"

If Snows going to be there then that means…My eyes narrow in suspicion, then widen. Oh no. Not that. Anything but  _that._

"You didn't," I nearly hiss.

Elsa looks at me sheepishly.

"Yeah, I kinda did."

 

*****line break*****

 

"Do I have to go?" I half ask, half plead for the answer I want as we walk toward what I know will be a disaster of a lunch.

"Anna, you already know the answer to that. It would be rude if you didn't."

"But I don't even like him! Can't you just say I'm sick or something?"

Elsa turns and raises an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I ask, feigning innocence as we make our way to the dining hall.

"Like it or not, Hans is our…well  _my_  friend. He wants to prove to you he's not a bad guy—not anymore. And really, Anna, it's just lunch; it's not going to kill you," retorts Elsa.

"Yeah, but it might kill  _him_ ," I mumble in threat, earning myself a smack on the arm.

"Behave, Anna," she warns, as we turn down a hall.

Yeah. Right. I mean, really. Does she honestly think that I'll be able to stop myself from hurting him? Especially after what she told me at the ice palace? Because if she does, she's going to be sorely disappointed.

"Elsaaaa," I whine, "please, please,  _please_  don't make me go!"

Elsa gives me an exasperated look. "You're not getting out of this, Anna. So just suck it up a deal."

…

_Excuse_  me!?

I stop walking, the feeling of indignant shock too great to push past. How dare she? After what he did to me? To us? I mean, I know that this Hans didn't shoot her, or kick the crap outta me, but from what I hear, he still tried to  _kill_  us!

It takes Elsa a few seconds to realize that I'm no longer right next to her.

"Anna, what are you doing? We are going to be late," she huffs.

I don't answer her. I just turn away, and cross my arms.

"Really?" she ask, incredulous. "You're really going to act like this?  _Right now?_ "

I huff in response. I see Elsa pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration from the corner of my eye, before she walks over to me.

"Look, I know how you feel about him, and you have every right to feel that way, but I still need you to do this. I know we agreed that you are your own person, but everyone else here believes you are Princess Anna, and you need to act the part, or they will start getting suspicious. The Anna they know wouldn't refuse a diplomatic lunch just because of her personal feelings," she says, and I feel myself deflate. "Besides, all of our other friends will be there, and they would really like to see you."

Damn her and her logic. But she is right. Fuck.

"Please, Anna? It's just for a few hours," pleads Elsa. "It would mean a lot to me if you went."

Then she does something unforgivable. She gives me what I swear is the _best_  friggin pout I've ever seen. Like, Damn. And I thought  _I_  had mastered the puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh! Fine! I'll go!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up in defeat.

Elsa blinks, then her lips spread in a large smile. She pulls me into a tight hug, and I can't help but smile too.

"Thank you," she says, before pulling away.

"Yeah, yeah," I say, giving her a small push. "Come on, we don't want to be late."

We reach the dining hall, and I immediately start to regret agreeing to this. Noticing my hesitation, Elsa takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. I smile at her and take a deep breath, before pushing the doors open. Immediately I'm tackled.

"Anna! Oh my God, I didn't think you'd come!" exclaims Rapunzel as I try to breathe. "It's so good to see you again!"

"Its…good to see you too…Punz," I gasp as I awkwardly hug her back.

I hear Elsa giggling behind me and I turn to give her a playful glare.

Punz pulls away and gets straight to business, whispering "Have you started to remember anything yet?"

I make a face that tells her 'no' and she giggles.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Well…call me selfish, but I'm hoping you'll dive across the table at some point to punch Hans in the face again. I wasn't there for it last time," she grins.

I shove her lightly for her tease and Elsa clears her throat, displaying a quirked brow and smirk at our behavior. "This way, Anna," she says, holding an arm out in the direction of our seats and placing a hand at the small of my back, then on my hip opposite her to direct me.

Really? Queen Quirks-Her-Brow is getting handsy in front of company? I quirk a brow in return with a friendly eye-roll, but then I look to where she's leading me and I see why she's so firmly directing me.

Mother F—

"Hans!" Elsa says, a grin plastered on her face. "Snow! It's so good to see you  _both_. Allow me, Anna."

Elsa replaces the accolade that would normally pull out my chair for me. I almost refuse. Do we have to sit  _right_ next to him? Elsa and I exchange a silent battle of wills with our eyes, but eventually I sigh and sit down.

I agreed to come and it's only one lunch. Maybe he'll have half a brain and know to keep his big mouth shu—

"Princess Anna," Hans interrupts my thoughts. "It's good to see you again."

I eye him wearily. He looks almost…afraid to be sitting next to me. Good. He should be. Suddenly I feel an elbow in my ribs, reminding me to mind my manners.

"Ow! Uh…I-I mean…Hello, Prince Hans," I stammer.

Smooth, Anna. Smooth. I rub my, now sore, ribs, and shoot Elsa a glare. She doesn't acknowledge me, but I  _know_  she saw me.

"So," says Rapunzel, breaking the awkward silence that has settled over the table, "Anna! How has it been to be back?"

Thankful for the distraction, I enthusiastically tell Rapunzel about the last month. You know, it's really nice to be able to talk to her again. I really missed my friend. It's almost like I never left.

I wonder how she's doing back in my world. Is she worried about me? I mean, I did kinda just disappear. Is Kristoff, Sven, and she looking for me? I hope they're doing okay.

Noticing my sudden distraction, Elsa discretely places a hand on my knee.

"You okay?" she whispers.

I nod my head, and give her a smile. "I'm fine, I was just thinking about the Rapunzel back home."

Elsa gives me a small understanding smile, before returning the conversation. Soon, lunch is served, and I nearly squeal in excitement. What can I say? I  _really_  like sandwiches. I'm almost excited enough to forget who I'm sitting next to.

It occurs to me that Elsa probably planned this to make me a little happier with the situation. And it almost works. Almost. But then he opens his big mouth.

"Anna, would you be so kind as to pass the—"

"No," I cut him off midsentence, not even bothering to look up from my food.

Like I'd really do  _anything_  for him after what he pulled. I hear the table go quiet, but I ignore everyone and continue eating as if nothing happened. I promised I'd come. I never said I would be civil about it.

"Uh…you didn't even let me finish," he says, and I have to fight the eye-roll I feel coming on.

"No, I didn't," I say as I start in on my second sandwich.

"Anna," I hear Elsa warn, and I sigh.

"Yes?" I say, knowing full well what I'm doing.

Elsa gives me her you-better-behave-or-you're-going-to-regret-it-later face.

"Fine," I huff, finally turning to Hans, who visibly gulps. "What is it you need,  _Prince_  Hans?"

I can practically hear Elsa face-palm as I continue to use his title. Excuse me for feeling like we're not  _quite_  at the personal level just yet.

"U-um…I-I just needed t-the s-salt?" he stammers, clearly intimidated.

I stare at him for a few seconds, before I slowly reach over and place the salt within his reach, before returning to my food. I swear, you can hear every single person let out a sigh of relief. Well, except for Rapunzel. I try to hide my grin as I hear her mutter something about 'where's her lack of self-control when I need it.'

"T-thank you," says Hans, but I ignore him.

At least, until I feel Elsa's heel in my foot.

"Ouch! Okay, fine!" I turn back to Hans, and I swear he flinches.

"You're welcome," I huff, no longer caring about controlling my tone.

I turn back to my food, Elsa's glare burning a hole into the side of my face.

"Um, Anna?" I hear Cinderella say. "Don't you think you're being a little…rude?"

I glance up at her. "No."

"Well you are," retorts Aurora.

Always blunt, that one.

I turn to look at her, and blink. "And your point?"

"Her point, Anna, is that  _maybe_  you could try giving my  _husband_  a chance to prove that he's not a bad guy," snaps Snow, startling me.

Well then. I look around the table and notice everyone—even  _Rapunzel!_ —nodding their head in agreement. I stand up in anger.

"Excuse me? Are you serious?" I look at them incredulously. "Did you guys forget that he tried to  _kill_  me and Elsa? I know I might not remember the last few years, but I  _do_  remember  _that._  So I'm sorry if I seem a little 'rude,'" I put up air quotes, "but I don't just forgive people for that. I mean, really, what could he have  _possibly_  done—besides marrying you, Snow—that could justify me even considering to forgive him!?"

It's quiet for a few moments after I finish my rant, before I hear Elsa's soft voice.

"He saved our lives."

I swear my eyes are as big as my plate.

"He  _what?"_ I turn on her, unable to believe my ears.

"I said he saved our—"she starts but I cut her off.

"Yea, I heard you the first time Els," I turn back to Hans who, by this point, looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

That makes two of us.

"Is that true?" I ask him, causing him to jump at the sudden attention.

"Y-yes," he squeaks, and it would be funny if I wasn't so shocked at the revelation.

I swivel back to Elsa. "And you didn't think that  _maybe_  I would've appreciated that information!?"

"I, um, asked her not to tell you," I hear Hans say. "I wanted to prove to you that I had changed without relying on my prior actions, which you didn't even remember in the first place."

"Oh," I say.

Because that's all I can really say. Oh. I look around the table once more, before bringing a hand up to my forehead. Great. Now I look like a complete ass.

"How?" I ask, sitting back down. "How did you save us?"

"Well, Snow and I were coming to visit, to announce our engagement, and when we arrived, we learned the two of you had gone on a picnic in the forest," starts Hans. "We were told where you would be, and decided to surprise you. But when we arrived, we found the two of you surrounded by a pack of wolves. Elsa was unconscious, and you had a pretty nasty gash on your shoulder. I had Snow wait in the carriage, and I fought them off."

"Don't be so humble, Hans," says Elsa. "You forgot to mention the fact that there were about 15 of those beasts. Or that you fought them off single-handedly. Or that you were severely injured in the process."

I gape at the prince, as he shrugs. "The only important thing was that you two made it back to the castle."

I look between Elsa and Hans, before dropping my head in my hands.

"Great. You freakin' saved our lives, and all I've done is act like a complete ass," I groan.

I feel horrible. But I'm also a little, I don't know, angry. Seriously, Elsa could've at least said  _something_  so I didn't make a complete fool of myself.

I hear Hans chuckle. "Its fine, Anna. I understand. You didn't know, and considering what you do remember, I really expected nothing less. If anything, I'm surprised you haven't physically assaulted me yet."

"Me too," mumbles Rapunzel, earning a smack from Cinderella.

I peek out at him from my fingers. He smiles at me, and I remove my hands from my face, before standing again.

"Prince Hans, I'd like to formally apologize for my behavior today," I say with a small curtsy.

Hans smiles again and stands as well.

"Apology accepted," he says, bowing before offering his hand. "Truce?"

I look at it for a moment, now seeing the man in a new light, before taking it. "Truce."

We both sit, and, thankfully, the rest of the table resumes their lunch without any further comments. The meal runs, and finishes, a lot better than it started. Mostly because I'm not being completely hostile towards Hans anymore.

"Thank you for giving me a second…well  _third_  chance, Anna," says Hans as he and Snow take their leave.

"No problem," I chuckle nervously.

Suddenly, Hans pulls me into a hug. I stiffen at the contact, but then, slowly, I manage to hug him back Sort of. I mean, it's the least I can do. I don't really trust him still, but I don't necessarily hate his guts anymore. I hear him chuckle again as he pulls away.

"Goodbye, Anna. Elsa. It was good to see the two of you again. I hope we do this more often," he says as he makes his way out of the dining room with Snow hanging off his arm.

"You know, I was  _really_  hoping you'd at least hit him once before you mellowed out," whispers Rapunzel as I hug her goodbye.

"Shut up," I chuckle, as I playfully shove her again, earning another raised eyebrow from Elsa.

The rest of the Princesses depart, leaving me and Elsa alone.

"See," she says, breaking the silence, "that wasn't so bad, was it?"

I turn on the blond, glaring at her.

"Yea, thanks for the heads up, by the way. You let me act like an asshole the whole time!" I exclaim, earning myself a chuckle.

"I didn't  _let_  you do anything, Anna. And like Hans said, he had asked me not to tell you," she retorts.

"But you could have said  _something!_ " I say.

Elsa raises an eyebrow and gives me a playful smile. "But this was just  _so_ much more entertaining."

I narrow my eyes at her, but I can't help the smile that forms on my lips. "You're horrible."

She raises her hand to her chest in mock surprise. "Who, me?"

I smack her playfully on the arm, causing her to laugh.

"Come," she says, tugging me at the elbow.

"Where are we going now?" I say with a tease in my voice.

Elsa rolls her eyes. "Where do you think? We still haven't found the answer to the solstice."

I groan.

"The library  _again?!"_


	17. Chapter sixteen

Chapter 16

 

_Now, son, I'm only telling you this_

_Because life can do terrible things._

_-"Terrible Things"_

_Mayday Parade_

 

" _Eeeeeeeeee_!" I scream.

Elsa bursts into the bathroom, much to my embarrassment, only to find me hoping up and down muttering "coldcoldcoldcoldcold."

"What?" she exclaims, looking around for intruders or something similar.

"Elsa! What the hell!" I scream, causing her to look at me.

My cheeks flush red when I notice she's staring just a  _tad_ longer than necessary.

"Elsa!" I exclaim, breaking her trance.

"Oh," she coughs, looking away. "Uh-hum, sorry, but…you screamed and I was worried."

I huff, finally able to drape a towel around my more private parts.

"The water was cold!" I growl. "I mean, like freaking ice!"

Elsa looks at me again, but this time in bewilderment.

"Really? You screamed because it was cold?" she asks, exasperated.

"Hell yeah! You know, that wouldn't be a problem if you wouldn't just implement some, I don't know…modern plumbing!" I retort.

I'm not really mad at her but…it would be nice to have running water. Especially when I comes to the loo. I mean really. Who wants to do their business in a jar!?

"Anna, you know the people aren't ready for that," deadpans Elsa, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Oh come on, Elsa. It would be a Godsend to these people! And you can't tell me you don't miss being able to take a nice, hot shower at the end of a long day," I respond.

When she hesitates, and by the longing in her eyes, I know I'm right.

"I'll think about it, Anna," she finally concedes, making me smirk. "But for now you're just going to have to deal with it."

I grumble at her words.

Elsa rolls her eyes, but chuckles at my childishness. "If it really bothers you that much, just have Gerda draw you another one."

I look up at her in surprise. "I can do that!?"

Elsa laughs at my expression. "Of course you can! You're the Princess Consort. It's, like, part of the maids' jobs to tend to you."

I stare at her for a moment, trying to judge if she is lying or not. Elsa sighs.

"Gerda!" she calls, "Could you send in someone to draw Anna another bath? Hers is cold."

"Right away, Your Majesty," comes Gerda's reply.

"See," says Elsa, smirking at me. "Easy as pie."

I stick my tongue out at her as she leaves me to bathe in peace. Smartass. After the maid fixes my bath, I sink into the, now warm, water as I plan my day. I should try to explore the castle a little more today. I mean, I've really only memorized a few of the hallways. Most of the time I have to rely on others to get me where I need to go. That makes the whole, 'I'm supposed to have practically grown up in this place' thing kinda hard.

As I sink farther into the water, I start to think about  _her_ again. Shouldn't Elsa be looking for her? I mean, I get that that's kind of hard, considering  _I'm_ supposed to be her, but still. I wonder where she is. I…I hope she's okay…Okay that's weird. Did I just hope that my other self is okay?

I swear this place is going to make me lose my damn mind.

 

*****line break*****

 

"Anna! Anna! Anna!" shouts Olaf, running towards me, a huge smile on his face.

I chuckle at the snowman, bending down to his level. "What is it, Olaf?"

"I just saw the  _prettiest_  flower! You have to see it! Marshmallow's guarding it so the snow won't bother it, but you have to hurry!" he exclaims, pulling me down the hall by my hand.

I let out a surprised squeak at how strong the tiny snowman is, but allow him to lead me to, at least what I think, is the gardens. We run down the hallways, both giggling as we try not to run through any of the maids wandering about.

"Come on!" says Olaf, turning down an unfamiliar hallway. "I know a shortcut!"

I follow him, though I'm a little skeptical. The last time we went through one of his "shortcuts," I got so lost I had to wait for Elsa to come find me. Now  _that_ was embarrassing.

We walk down the hall for a few moments, when something catches my eye. I pull away from Olaf, confusing the snowman. I slowly walk over to the painting hanging on the opposite wall.

"Is…is that…me?" I whisper.

"Yep!" answers Olaf, making me jump.

I had forgotten he was there.

"That was painted on your wedding day! Don't you remember that?" he asks innocently.

I look down at him, then back up at the painting. The Anna in that painting looks so…happy. I'm…I mean she's…I mean…the person in that picture looks so beautiful in her white dress. And, of course, so does Elsa. How could she not? Though I have to say, she does look especially stunning in that suit.

I feel a sudden rush of jealousy. Why did  _she_ get to marry Elsa? Why does  _she_  get to look so happy, so…in love? It's not fair!

"Anna?" says Olaf quietly, pulling on my dress to get my attention.

I blink a few times, the red haze that was filling my vision dissipating. It's then I realize I had yet to answer him. I smile down at the snowman, and pat his head.

"Yes," I lie. "I remember."

 

*****line break*****

 

"Ugh!" I sigh for the thousandth time, flopping onto the library couch.

"What?" I hear Elsa ask from behind a shelf.

"I can't find anything!" I huff, throwing the book in my hands across the room in frustration.

"Hey!" Elsa says, catching the projectile, "be careful, Anna! These books are extremely old. And not to mention incredibly valuable."

I roll my eyes, but say nothing as she places the book on a table and joins me.

"Don't give up just yet, Anna," she says, "There has to be something here that explains how I'm supposed to join the two worlds."

"Elsa, we've been at this for weeks, and all we know is that it has something to do with your powers!" I say, exasperated. "You'd think there'd be  _something_  in this place!"

Elsa chuckles at me. "I agree. That's why we need to keep looking."

I give her my 'done' face, and she laughs.

"Come on, we can't stop now. The solstice is just over a month away," she says, rising from the couch, pulling me with her.

"Uuuuuuuuhhhhnnnn," I groan allowing her to guide me towards another pile of books.

 

*****line break*****

 

"Elsaaaaaaa," I whine, "I'm so boooored."

Elsa raises an eyebrow at me from her desk. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

I huff, and look around the room in hopes of coming up with something. Then I see it.

"Well," I say, a smirk growing, "you could always play me a song."

Elsa cocks her head in confusion before following my line of sight, her eyes landing on the grand piano. It's quiet for a few minutes, and I'm about to ask her again, when I notice the tears running down her face. What the fuck!? Like seriously! What could I have  _possibly_  done now!?

"Whoa, hey Els, what's wrong?" I ask, forcing her to face me.

"N-nothing," she says, wiping at her face, "it's just…the last time I played was just before you—I mean, she—left."

…

"I'm sorry," she says quietly, taking my silence the wrong way, "I-I know how you feel when I bring her up, but—"

"What, no! That's…no. I was just surprised, is all!" I say, my inner rambling beginning to show, "I mean, I remembered that you said you played, but you hadn't played for me yet, and I was curious! But I didn't think…well duh, of course I didn't think, I never do…but I didn't think that you haven't played for a reason! If anyone should be sorry it's me! It was super insensitive of me and—"

"Anna!" exclaims Elsa with a small smile, effectively shutting me up. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"You…you do?" I say, and she nods, still smiling.

"Yes. I was just caught off-guard," she says, "I'd love to play for you. But just one song, then we have to get back to work. Okay?"

I smile back at her, and nod in agreement. Elsa's smile widens and she leads me towards the piano. I take a seat across from her, as she plays a few keys experimentally.

"It's been a while, so I might be a little rusty," she says, sitting on the bench.

"I'm sure it'll be perfect," I say with a smile, earning one in return.

"All right, here it goes," she says, laying her hands on the keys.

It's quiet for a moment, then the room fills with the soft sounds of the piano as Elsa plays. I'm amazed at her skill, even though I'm sure this is only a warm up. Her fingers fly over the keys, moving faster and faster as she gains more confidence in her skills.

Then the melody shifts and slows, and my smile vanishes. I'm stunned. It's …It's Elsa. The song she's playing can only be described as beautiful, magical. It's timid without hesitance; it's delicate, but strong. I'm sure if my jaw wasn't on the floor at this point, it's there the second Elsa starts to sing.

_“Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave?_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow._

_One step closer”_

Oh. My. God. I mean, I had a feeling she could sing, but not even in my wildest dreams did I think she could sing this  _good!_ Like, holy shit. She freaking  _amazing_!

Elsa looks up at me a smirks at my expression as she continues.

_“I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more”_

I feel a blush coating my face. I know she's told me she loves me before, but it still makes me all giddy when she does. I smile at her and rest my hand over my heart. It's beating so hard and she's taken my breath away. How does she do these things to me?

Elsa continues to look at me, her expression transforming into one of love, and I glance away.

_“Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer”_

I look up and our eyes lock.

_“I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more”_

I smile, not sure what this feeling is that's taking over me. It's like I'm flying and falling at the same time. Like…like I can't breathe, and like I've taken the biggest breath I can.

_“And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more”_

Elsa never once looks away, her fingers moving only by memory as she plays the bridge.

_“One step closer_

_One step closer”_

I stand, and make my way to sit next her, the smile never leaving my face.

_“I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more”_

Elsa smiles as I join her, never once halting her playing.

_“And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more”_

Elsa finishes, letting the room fall silent.

"That was…wow," I say, looking at her in astonishment.

Elsa giggles, and takes my hand in hers. "Thank you. I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? Elsa I freaking  _loved_  it! It was so amazing! Where did you learn to play like that? And since when do you  _sing_?" I say, causing her to giggle again.

Then she pulls me into a gentle kiss, ceasing anything else I was going to say. We pull back, and rest our foreheads together, just staring into each other's eyes. Into each other's souls. Yeah, yeah, I know. Super cliché.

We sit there for a few moments, with her just looking at me with those big blue eyes full of love and adoration, when it hits me.

It's love.

This big feeling that I have, the one that's filling up my chest and making my heart flutter when I look at her, the one that causes me to smile when she laughs, and comfort her when she cries. The one that is keeping me here, in this place that's as far away from home as I can get, just so I can be near her.

The feeling is love.

I…I love Elsa. I love her. And I…I think I always have. Since the day we met. I smile at the realization.

I. Love. Her.

She picks up my left hand, still smiling as she places a gentle kiss to my ring…well  _her_ ring. Doubt weeds its way in, worming a hole in my chest where a few seconds ago it'd been filled with the greatest happiest I've felt since…ever. But that's just it. She makes me so happy, but…she's not mine. Not really.

She's hers.

Unsuccessfully, I beg the horrible thoughts suffocating me to stop, but I feel the darkness that has been ruining my life for the past seven months descend upon me. I knew it would come back. Sooner or later. I suppose I should feel lucky that I've avoided it for this long. But there's no escaping it. I feel the blackness take over my thoughts until I'm nothing but doubt and self-hate. And there's nothing I can do to stop the pain.

I…I can't. I can't love her. Because she…she doesn't…she doesn't love me

…No…that's not…that's not true. She said it. She said she does…But as much as she says it, I know she's not speaking to me. She's speaking to…to her.

I pull away from Elsa, causing her to look at me with confusion. How could I ever think that she would love me? I'm nothing. No one. I don't even belong here. I feel tears prick at my eyes, but I don't let them fall.

"Anna?" Elsa says, placing a hand on my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I look up at her, and I feel my heart clench. I want to tell her. I want to tell her I love her. I want to be her Anna. To be her wife. To be her love. But I'm not. And…and I never will be.

I finally let the tears fall, shaking my head.

"N-nothing," I stammer, knowing full well she won't buy it.

Elsa once again forces me to look at her.

"Anna, what's wrong?" she asks more forcefully, but not unkindly, a hint of desperation in her voice.

I stand quickly, not wanting to face her anymore. Vaguely, I remember Elsa telling me she would be there for me when I was feeling this way, but in this state of mind, I don't believe it.

"I-I…I just need a moment alone…" I say, pulling my arms across my stomach in a motion not unlike Elsa's when she's afraid.

Elsa stands, taking a step towards me, but I move out of her reach.

"Please?" I say, just above a whisper.

Elsa hesitates for a moment, obviously conflicted, before nodding.

"Okay," she says, softly, "okay, but…just let me take you back to our room. You can lay down and rest for a while. Then maybe you'll be ready to tell me what's bothering you."

I almost say no, but…well sleep actually sounds really good right now. I slowly nod, allowing her to approach me and lead me out of the library. It's quiet as we walk, Elsa being kind enough not to push me. We reach the door, and I quickly run inside the room.

All I want is to be alone.

As I begin to shut the door, Elsa stops me, and I look up at her in slight panic.

"Anna…you know I'm here for you…right?" she asks quietly, and I look away, unable to meet her gaze.

"Y-yeah, Elsa. I-I know," I say quietly, shutting the door before she has a chance to respond.

I let my forehead rest on the door for a moment, tears running down my face, before I make my way to the bed. I strip, and lay down, curling into a tight ball, finally allowing myself to cry—I mean really cry—for the first time in months.

I love her. I love her, and she's in love with someone else. I feel a sharp pain in my chest as my thoughts run wild. Is this what a broken heart feels like?

Eventually, I fall into a restless sleep.

 

*****line break*****

 

I wake a few hours later, feeling the same pain I had when I fell asleep. Only now it's worse. I gasp, and clutch my chest, tears running down my face. I don't think they ever stopped. Why won't this stop? I…I need to see Elsa. I need to talk to her. Maybe…maybe she can help.

It's then I hear the whispers in the back of my mind.

_She doesn't love you. She never loved you. She doesn't want you. Who could love you?_

I let out a strangled cry, pressing my hands to my ears in an attempt to stop the voices.

It's not true. It's not true! She said she loved me! She said it…

_But she doesn't. How could she? How could someone love something as broken as you?_

Stop it!

"Stop it!" I scream aloud.

I stand, looking around for some way—any way—to stop these thoughts…these…these feelings.

_You don't belong here. You're nothing. No one. Worthless trash!_

"I'm not! I'm not…" I cry, wishing for all the world that this would stop. "Please…"

I fall to the floor, not noticing the doors to the balcony swing open, letting the winter air in. It doesn't register that they opened on their own.

_You are! Trash! Filth! You shouldn't even be alive. You're worthless._

"I…I'm not…" I whisper.

It's getting harder and harder to make denials.

_Do it. End it all._

"No!"

 _Do it. Kill yourself. You want to. You_ need _to._

"No…" I whimper, knowing I've lost.

_Do it._

I stand, my hands falling from my ears.

_Do it._

I begin to walk towards the balcony, feet dragging as I ignore the banging on the bedroom door.

_Do it._

I reach the rail, and look down. A jump from this height would kill me for sure. Then I wouldn't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. I wouldn't have to feel this…this pain.

Then I'd be free.

_Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit!_

I step up onto the railing, flailing slightly as I straighten up, before looking down once more.

_Do. It._

"Anna!" I hear the scream over the wind, and look back in time to see Elsa run out onto the balcony.

She looks up at me with terror in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Elsa…I-I need to…I need to do this," I say, looking back towards the ground.

"Anna, please…just…just step d-down. We can talk about this!" she pleads, causing me to look at her again.

I notice the tears running down her face. She takes a step towards me, her arms outstretched.

_Do it. Don't let her stop you. She'll only hurt you more._

I close my eyes against the voices. I feel a single tear make its way down my face.

"No," I say softly. "We can't."

And then I jump.

" _Anna!"_


	18. Chapter seventeen

Chapter 17

 

_A pity to believe in what_

_You know is what you know_

_-"Above You, Below Me"_

_Badly Drawn Boy_

 

"Let me go! LET ME GO!" I shout, struggling against the pale arms that are clamped around my waist.

So close. I was  _so close!_ How could she stop me!? I need this! I just want all of it to end. Anything would be better than this.

"S-shh, Anna. I-it's okay….It's o-okay," coos Elsa, sobbing softly as she holds me against her body.

I try to stand from where her powers pulled me back over the railing, but she tightens her grip. I scream out in frustration, pushing against her in my attempt to escape. I resort to scratching her, biting her. Anything to make her release me. Elsa only cover's her arms in ice, preventing me from causing any harm.

"I hate you!" I scream, hoping to shock her enough to let go, "I  _hate_  you!"

And on some level, I believe it. I hate that she's in love with someone else. I hate that she's making me fall in love with her, that she's the love of my life, and I'm not hers. I love Elsa with all my heart…and I hate her for it.

"I'm sorry, Anna. I'm sorry," she whispers, as she cries harder into my shoulder, never once loosening her grip on me.

I start to cry as well, still beating against her half-heartedly.

"Please," I whimper, causing her to let out another sob, "Please just let me go."

"I…I can't," she says with a broken voice, pulling me impossibly closer.

Eventually, we both wear ourselves out, and I stop struggling. I feel all the anger and pain slowly start to drain out of me, leaving nothing but an empty husk of a human being.

"Anna?" says Elsa cautiously, slowly loosening her grip on me.

I don't say anything. I mean, I hear her…but I don't. I just lay there, stiff as a board, as I stare off into space. I'm the definition of catatonic.

Vaguely I'm aware of someone picking me up. I don't fight it. I'm in my own world. I feel the person carry me into the room and lay me gently on the bed. I roll over onto my side, facing away from them.

"We should let her rest. She's had a long day," I hear someone—I think Kristoff—say.

"I'm not leaving her," replies Elsa, softy.

"Elsa—"

"I said I'm staying, Kristoff!" she snaps, cutting him off.

I hear him sigh.

"All right. I'll come to check on the two of you in a little while," he says, as the sound of his footsteps get farther away.

The door opens, then closes, leaving me and Elsa alone. I hear the sound of a chair scrapping as I fight to keep my eyes open. Now that it's all over, I just want to sleep.  I finally give up, closing my eyes as I let myself fall into a deep slumber. The last thing I hear before I lose consciousness is Elsa whispering broken apologizes over and over again.

 

*****line break*****

_Anna…_

I groan internally. Whose calling me? Can't they see I'm trying to sleep?

_Anna…Anna you need to wake up._

Stop it. I just want to sleep. Why won't you let me sleep?

_Anna…she needs you._

I don't care.

_Anna!_

Go away.

_ANNA!_

I shoot awake, gasping for air before groaning in pain, my head in my hands.

"Whoa, there," I feel hands on my shoulders, pushing me gently back onto the bed. "Calm down, Your Highness. You still need your rest."

I slowly crack open my eyes to see Gerda staring down at me, her eyes full of concern.

"Gerda?" I say as she puts a cool cloth over my forehead, "What…what happened?"

If possible, even more concern fills the maid's eyes.

"You mean, you don't remember?" she asks softly.

I shake my head. It's hard to remember anything with this pounding in my head. Then, as if I'm pulling it from the deep recesses of my mind, it all starts coming back to me. I remember the piano. I remember my depression rearing its ugly head. I remember…I remember…

Oh God.

I jumped. I fucking jumped! What the hell is wrong with me!? I mean, yeah I've thought about…about killing myself…before, but…but I've never actually acted on it! Truth is, I don't want to die. Not really. I like being alive too much.

I feel tears start to fall down my cheeks, only to be wiped away by Gerda.

"There, there," she says gently, soothing me by rubbing circles on my back. "It's all right."

"No, Gerda it's not!" I exclaim, more tears escaping, "I jumped! I can't believe I actually jumped…"

"Shh," coos the maid, pulling me into a hug.

She clutches me tight and rocks with me. "Shh, Your Highness. I know you didn't mean it, my dear,  _dear_ girl."

"I don't know what came over me," I whimper into her shoulder, "I-I just wanted the pain to stop. I-I wanted the voices to s-stop. I-I never wanted…"

Gerda continues to hold me as I cry and I can tell it's as comforting to her as it is to me.

"Thank God Elsa was there to pull me back over," I sniff after a few minutes.

…

"Oh my God, Elsa!" I gasp.

I pull back from Gerda, my eyes going wide.

"I-I have to find her! I have to tell her that I didn't mean it! I-I need to apologize! " I say, trying to stand, but Gerda stops me.

"Perhaps that's not the best idea right now," she says, pushing me back down.

I narrow my eyes at the maid. "What? Why?"

"Her Majesty was quite shaken by…what happened. She—both of you—just need some time to…think," she says slowly.

"What do you mean?" I ask softly, my brows furrowing in confusion.

Does Elsa…does she not want to see me?

Gerda sighs.

"Your Highness…Her Majesty, after she was sure you were going to be all right of course, became quite…we to be honest, Anna, she became very angry. Especially when you didn't wake up right away. I had to send her to—pardon my wording—but I had to send her to 'cool off'," she says.

Angry? Elsa's angry at me? Why?

…

Because she almost had to watch the love of her life die. Again. That's why. God, Anna, you're such an  _idiot!_

I let my head fall into my hands. "I really messed up…didn't I?"

Gerda's silence speaks volumes. I try to stand again.

"I need to talk to her. I have to fix this!" I say, but, once again, Gerda tightens her grip, not allowing me to move.

"I know you want to make this right, Anna, but she needs her space right now. She's still upset, and believe me, you don't want to deal with an angry Elsa. Just give her another day. She'll come to you when she's ready," she says, and gulps.

My eyes widen even further. Holy cats, Elsa must be livid.

"Okay," I concede, "I'll give her a day."

Gerda gives me a small smile, before moving to clean up the various medical supplies on the bedside table. It's silent for a moment, before I speak up.

"Gerda, how long was I asleep?" I ask.

"Just over a day," she responds, as she continues to clean.

A day. It's been a whole day. And Elsa's still mad at me…Wow, I really fucked up.

Eventually Gerda finishes, and goes to fulfill her other duties, leaving me alone. I sigh, and resign myself to waiting for Elsa to come find me, so we can talk. So I can apologize. Because I never wanted this.

I sit for hours, only moving when I feel nature call. When I realize it's starting to get dark, and Elsa still hasn't come to talk, I wait for her to come to bed at least.

But she never comes.

I feel tears fall down my face, as it dawns on me just how bad I've messed everything up. This is all my fault! If I could've just accepted that she loved me, if I wasn't such a fuck up, then…then maybe I wouldn't have jumped.

Then maybe I wouldn't have ruined everything.

I finally lie down, knowing that Elsa isn't coming. And that hurts me more than I can stand. It feels like my heart has frozen. I never realized how cold the bed is without Elsa here to hold me. I roll over onto my side, my tears still falling, as I whisper a silent apology, even though I know she's not here to hear it. And for the first time since my arrival in Arendelle, I fall asleep alone.

 

*****line break*****

 

"All right, Anna, you can do this. You're ready. You were born ready," I mutter to myself as I pace back and forth in front of Elsa's study.

I halt, and take a deep breath, raising my hand to knock, but it refuses to fall.

"Knock," I hear Olaf say, encouragingly. "Just knock."

My fist won't move.

"Why isn't she knocking?" I hear the snowman whisper. "Do you think she knows how to knock?"

I groan in frustration, and continue my pacing.

"Will you just go in already?" Kristoff says, and I stop in my tracks.

"Just go in?  _Just_  go in? Kristoff, do you even know how much trouble I'm in!?" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air. "She hasn't talked to me in three days.  _Three days_  Kristoff! Not a single word! She won't look at me! She couldn't even be in the same  _room_  as me until today! She's been sleeping in one of the guest rooms, just to avoid being around me! And you want me to  _just go in!?_ "

"Well, yeah," he says, like it's the easiest thing in the world.

I groan again, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Look, Anna," says Kristoff, putting his hands on my shoulders, "you just need to go in there, explain what happened, and apologize. Elsa will forgive you, I promise. Yeah, she's going to be upset, and yeah, she will probably yell at you, but you know she's only mad at you because she cares about you. You really scared her. You scared all of us," he finishes, and I feel a pang of guilt.

"I'm sorry," I murmur for the thousandth time, and he pulls me into a hug.

"I know," he says softly, "but I'm not the one you need to say that to."

I nod into his chest, and he releases me.

"Okay," I say, walking up to the door, cracking my neck. "Okay."

I raise my fist again, and this time I'm actually able to complete the action.

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Enter," I hear Elsa say, and I take a deep breath, before opening the door.

I see her sitting at her desk, her hand busily scrawling across the page as she works. When she doesn't say anything right away, I clear my throat. Elsa looks up at the sound, her hand freezing when she realizes that it's me who entered.

"Anna," she says so softly, I almost don't hear it.

For the briefest moment, her eyes are a vast ocean of relief and love. And then it's gone, replaced by pure, unbridled anger.

Oh fuck.

"Uh-hum, you, um, summoned me?" I say timidly, standing in the doorway.

Elsa lays down her pen, and seems to take a deep breath, sitting straighter in her chair, before she answers me.

"Come in, and shut the door," she says—no  _commands_ —and I can hear how hard she is trying to keep from yelling.

I gulp and do as she says, walking forward until I'm a few feet from her desk, my eyes never leaving my feet. Neither of us say a word, and I shuffle in the uncomfortable silence. I swear you can cut the tension with a knife. Not being able to take it any longer, I look up, and open my mouth to speak.

"Elsa, I am so so—" I start, but she raises a hand, cutting my off.

"Don't," she growls, and I close my lips.

We sit in silence for a few more moments, before Elsa speaks again.

"Do you realize what you did, Anna?" she nearly whispers, and I shiver at the furry in her voice.

I nod my head, not trusting myself to speak.

"Why?" she asks, that one word conveying all the anger and betrayal I know she's feeling.

I look away, unable to meet her gaze. "I don't know."

I jump when her fist hits the desk.

"That's not good enough, Anna!" she exclaims, now standing. "Do you know how worried I was!? How  _scared!?_ "

I flinch when her voice breaks slightly on the last word. I notice that frost has started to creep up the walls.

"I-I know, Els," I say, still unable to look her in the eyes.

"Do you, Anna?" she yells, and I finally look up, only to feel my heart clench when I see tears in her eyes. "Do you really? Because from where I stand, it doesn't seem like it!"

Elsa pauses for a moment, before continuing.

"Why didn't you just  _talk_  to me?" she asks in a small voice. "I was right there, Anna.  _Right there._ One minute I'm staring into your eyes and I  _know_ , Gods," her voice breaks again and I feel my still-cold heart sinking, "I know that you love me and that you know I love you. How can you be the happiest I've ever seen you one moment and …willing to kill yourself the next? How can I be the happiest  _I've_ ever been one moment and… and…" she braces herself on her desk, unable to continue except to ask "Why, Anna?"

It starts to lightly snow, but I don't really notice it. I'm too focused on Elsa. It's all true. I've never been happier…And…did she say  _she's_ never been happier? Not even with…her? I gulp, knowing she's still waiting for an answer.

"I…" I start, before sighing, "I just…couldn't…"

"Why?" she asks, and I shake my head, tears in my eyes.

I feel her suddenly grab my arms.

"Why, Anna?" she asks a little more forcefully. "Why did you jump? Why did you feel like that was the only way?  _Why didn't you let me help you_?"

I flinch again, fearful of the half-crazed look in Elsa's eyes.

"Elsa…" I say, bowing my head. "I'm sorry. I'm  _so_  sorry."

I feel her release me, and look up, only to see her running a hand through her bangs as she tries to fight back her tears.

"I…you…" she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sits leans on her desk.

She looks back at me, anger still in her eyes.

"I don't think that I can forgive you for this just yet, Anna," she nearly growls. "I mean, I watched you jump off of a fucking balcony for Christ's sake!"

I blanch, still unused to Elsa cussing.

"Do you realize what could've happened?" she exclaims, now standing, her hands balled into fists. "What if I hadn't been there? What if I wasn't fast enough to save you!?"

"Elsa,—" I start but she cuts me off.

"Do you realize just how fucking  _selfish_ you were!? Are!?" she snarls, her voice rising with each word as she advances on me.

It begins to snow harder, accompanied by a strong wind that grows by the second.

"Elsa, if you would just let me explain—" I plead, backing away.

"You almost  _died_ , Anna!" Elsa's yelling now, and the snowstorm only continues to grow, but neither of us really care at this point.

"Elsa, please—"

" _I could've lost her!_ " screams Elsa, and everything just stops.

The wind. The snow. Everything. Elsa's eyes go wide.

"Y-you…I-I could've lost you," she says, trying to back pedal, but it's too late.

The damage is done.

I feel my heart break—I can literally feel a crack form down its center—as I back away from Elsa, my eyes widening as well. I knew it. I knew she didn't— _couldn't_ —love me. She only ever loved her.

Now my heart is splintering as I succumb to the realization. All of this was just…just a way for Elsa to have her wife back. God, why did I have to be right about this? The tears that have been threatening to fall this entire time finally break free.

"Anna—" Elsa says, reaching for me, but I can't let her reach me.

It would be too painful.

I turn and run. I burst through the doors, running past Kristoff and Olaf, ignoring their calls. I fall, landing hard on my knees, but I'm up and running again, before I can register the pain. I hear Elsa calling after me, but I don't stop. I  _can't_ stop. I just keep running, tears running down my face.

I reach the door to my bedroom, and rush in, slamming and locking the door shut, before sliding down the wooden frame.

She doesn't love you. She never fucking loved you. All of this…everything, was just to get  _her_  Anna back. It was never about you.

I sit with my back against the door, pulling my knees to my chest. I should've known. I bang my head back on the door, more tears leaking from my eyes. God, I'm such a  _fucking_ idiot!

And yet…strangely, I don't feel the urge to kill myself this time. You'd think that this, of all things, would be what pushes me over the line…and yet I feel…nothing. Nothing but the pain in my chest, that is. What would be the point? I've never felt so hollow.

I lay my head on my knees, curling in on myself.

She doesn't love me. She doesn't care. And I'm a fool for thinking she ever did.

I cry, until my tears run out, and even then, I don't move. I stay in that position, huddled against the door for the rest of the night, as my heart shatters into a million pieces.


	19. Chapter eighteen

Chapter 18

 

_It's too late to apologize_

_It's too late_

_-"Apologize"_

_One Republic feat. Justin Timberlake_

 

"Anna," Kristoff says through the door. "Anna, come on, open up."

"Go away, Kristoff," I sigh, not moving from my spot on the bed.

"No. Not until you let me in," he replies stubbornly.

When I don't respond, I hear him sigh.

"Please, Anna. I saw how you looked when you ran away yesterday, and Elsa's been a complete mess."

I nearly scoff at that.

"I just want to know what happened. You can tell me. You're my sister, and I want to help you."

I hesitate. Maybe…maybe I should just tell him. Not all of it…but enough. It  _would_  be nice to talk to someone. To not have to carry this alone.

"Fine," I groan.

My decision made, I stand and shuffle to the door, opening it to a very concerned Kristoff.

He gives me a small smile, before pulling me into a tight hug. "Hey, Sis."

I sigh and pat him on the back. "Hey, Kristoff. Get in here," I say, and pull him inside, closing the door behind us.

I unceremoniously make my way back to bed and climb into the covers without a second glance back at Kristoff. I said I'd let him in, I didn't say I'd get up.

"So…" he begins, "You wanna tell me what's up?"

I groan, pulling the covers further on top of me. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

There's no way he'll understand—no way that he  _could_ understand. I mean, how am I supposed to tell him his sister isn't actually his sister and she isn't actually mad at her wife, because they aren't actually married, because there are two worlds and I'm from the other one—oh yeah, by the way, your sister is missing and—

"Anna?" he asks, interrupting my inner rambling.

I sigh and sit up, letting the covers fall a bit.

"What, Kristoff?" I huff, but he only gives me another small smile, waiting patiently.

I glare at him for a moment, before I deflate.

"Look," I say, staring at the comforter, "I know you just want to help, Kris, but trust me, you wouldn't understand."

Kristoff sits on the edge of the bed, looking me in the eyes. "I can try."

"Kristoff…" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Anna, do you really think that I'm going to just sit here and watch as my little sister wallows in her grief?" he asks, and I shake my head. "No, I won't. It pains me to see you so unhappy, Sis. And, honestly, I think you'll feel better once you get it off your chest."

I sigh, and pinch the bridge of my nose. "It's not just something I can go around telling people about, Kris."

"Why not?" he pushes.

"Because…because…ugh! Kristoff, I just…I don't want to talk about it!" I exclaim.

"Anna, come on. Let me in. Let me help," he says. "I'm sure that whatever is going on between you and Elsa is fixable, but you have to open up."

I roll my eyes, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "Yeah, right."

"What could be so bad, that you don't want to tell me?" Kristoff says.

"Kris—"

"Don't 'Kris' me, Anna. I want to know what happened, and I'm not leaving this room until I do!" he exclaims, and I finally break.

"She's in love with someone else, Kristoff! Okay!?" I scream.

Kristoff freezes, his eyes wide in shock.

Then they narrow. "I'll kill her."

I roll my eyes. "Pleeease," I say, waving him off. "I don't need you to do anything, Kris. There's nothing you  _can_ do," I throw my arms up in frustration before deflating once again. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"I can beat some sense into her!" he exclaims and stands, but I hold him back by his wrist.

"Kristoff, don't," I say softly, and he halts, turning back to me. "I just…I need to handle this myself, okay?"

I watch as the blond clenches and unclenches his jaw several times, before he sighs, and sits back down on the bed.

"All right, Anna," he says, uncertainly, "All right, but I swear, if she makes a single move towards…whoever this other person is…I'll kill her with my bare hands."

I smirk, chuckling humorlessly. "Trust me, Kristoff, there is absolutely no way that can happen."

Kristoff looks at me, confused.

"Never mind," I wave him away again. "Like I said, this is something I have to figure out myself…but thanks," I give him a small smile, "for being here and wanting to help."

He smiles back softly. "Of course, Sis. Okay," he pats my knee. "Anything I can do for ya in the meantime? Cocoa?"

You know... "Cocoa sounds great," I smile again.

"Okay!" he says excitedly. "You wanna get dressed or should I bring some back here?"

I look down. I've been in the same clothes for more than twenty-four hours now and I haven't had a bath since yesterday either. "Um…"

Kristoff laughs. "Here it is, Sis. I'll be right back."

I smile as he leaves. Despite the gaping hole where my heart used to be, telling him even a little bit did seem to help. Good ole Kris. I decide I should probably at least change to nightclothes since I'm in bed and do so. I hear a knock on my door.

"Come on in, Kristoff!" I call, still wearing a feeble, but genuine smile for him.

The door opens slowly and a different blonde appears.

No. Oh no. No way. I am  _so_  not ready for this.

It takes all my willpower to stay where I am, to not walk over there and slap her. Because, now that I've had some time to think, I'm not just sad, or depressed. I'm angry. No—I'm fucking pissed.

"Get out," I growl, and Elsa flinches. "Now."

"Anna—" she starts, taking a step into the room.

"I said GET OUT!" I scream, and all the blood drains from her face before she turns and runs out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

I stand, shaking with rage, as I stare after her. How dare she? How  _dare_  she come in here? Did she really think I'd want to see her after what she did!? After what she said!?

I take a deep breath, running my hand through my bangs and clench them between my fingers.

All this time. All this time, I was right. She doesn't love or want anything to do with  _me_. And I called her on it. Several fucking times. And she still led me on. For five…fucking…months.

Really, I'm angry at myself. I'm such a fucking fuck fucktard.

Son of a fucking FUCK!

Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck!

"Phooooooo," I puff air out slowly, trying to calm down.

Slow breaths.

Deep breaths.

Another knock on the door. "WHAT?!" I explode.

Kris enters with wide eyes and a tray of hot cocoa fixings. "Um…" he hesitates.

"Oh," I roll my eyes at myself—no, at this situation. "Sorry, Kristoff. I thought you were someone else."

"Three guesses who," Kristoff mutters under his breath, but I catch it and scowl. "So I'm guessing that went well?"

I deadpan, and he nods as if he expected as much.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he says. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" I exclaim, working myself up again. "She's just came in here! As if I would just talk to her! Just like that? Like, what the fuck!?" I yell, and Kristoff flinches.

I realize this is the first time I've cussed in front of this world's Kristoff, but at the moment, I don't really care.

"Like, does she really think it'd be that easy?" I continue, pacing around the room. "Does she really think I'd forgive her after what she said!?"

"Uh, Anna, maybe you should calm down," says Kristoff uncertainly, but I ignore him.

I'm too revved up now.

"And why am I the one hiding out in here? Why does she get to roam around, when she's the one at fault!?" I rant, still pacing.

Suddenly, I stop, my anger getting the better of me.

"You know what? I'm going to give her a piece of my mind! I'm going to go tell her she can go take her apology and shove it up her—"

"Whoa! Okay, then!" interrupts Kristoff, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Look, you can do that if you want, but you might say some things that can't be taken back."

I flick dangerous eyes in his direction. Things that can't be taken back!? "Good," I shove past him, aiming for Elsa's study.

 

*****line break*****

_BANG BANG BANG!_

"Elsa! Open this door,  _now!_ " I yell angrily.

I hear shuffling behind the door, but it remains shut.

"I know you're in there!" I continue.

"Go away, Anna," responds Elsa softly. "I'll talk to you when you've calmed down."

"No, Elsa! You will talk to me _, now!_ " I snarl.

Her silence is her only response.

"Ugh!" I scream, banging both my fists on the door, and I hear a small squeak of surprise, then a sniff from behind the barrier.

I stay like that for several minutes, taking deep breaths. Realizing that she's not going to open up, I let myself slide down the frame, my back to the door as I draw my knees up to my chest.

"Fine," I huff, all my anger vaporizing, leaving me drained. "If you don't want to talk…fine. But, Elsa…this is— _was_  your last chance. I'm done, your hear me?  _Done,_ " I emphasize, "and there's nothing you can say or do that's going to change my mind."

I move to stand, but pause when I hear a soft sob from behind the door. I feel tears in my eyes at the sound, but it only makes me hurt more. It hurts that, even after everything she's done to me, I still can't help but want to rush in there and comfort her. Tell her everything's going to be okay.

But it's not.

And…I don't think it ever will be.

"Anna," I hear Elsa cry out softly. "Anna, I'm  _so_  sorry. Please, can you ever forgive me?"

I hesitate for a moment, a single tear running down my face. I bow my head, that familiar pain weeding its way back into my heart.

"No…I don't think I can."

 

*****line break*****

 

"If she thinks,"  _bite "_ tha giffin meh chocats," _bite_  "wil chanff anyffin,"  _swallow_  "then she's got another thing coming!"

I look up and notice Kristoff giving me an amused look as I finish demolishing the very  _large_  box of chocolates I found outside my room this morning.

"What?" I huff, but he only raises his hands in surrender, shaking his head.

"Nothing, feisty pants," he chuckles.

I roll my eyes at the nickname, but smile at him. I'm so thankful he's been around since…well, yeah. I don't know what I would've done without him.

"Hey Kris?" I say, softly.

"Yeah Sis?" he responds, taking a chocolate of his own.

"Thanks. For being here for me. I…I really appreciate it."

Kristoff looks at me, before giving me a warm smile and pulling me into a tight hug.

"Of course. Anything for my little sister," he says, and I smile into his shoulder, but I can't help but feel a small pang of guilt.

Because, I'm not his sister. Not really. She should be the one eating chocolate with him, not me. Because I don't belong here.

…

I want to go home.

I stiffen slightly at the thought. Not because it isn't true, but because this is the first time it's crossed my mind in the three months I've been in Arendelle. But I do. I want to go home. I want to see  _my_ Kristoff.  _My_  Rapunzel. I want to sit in  _my_  apartment, and cry on  _my_  bed.

And I want to be as far away from  _her_  as possible.

I feel tears in my eyes at the thought, but I don't let them fall. I don't really want to have to explain myself to Kristoff.

I want to go home…but Elsa has the key. And I'm stuck in this place, this…this  _hell_. I need to get out of here.

Thankfully, I'm able to pull myself together, at least somewhat, by the time we separate. Kristoff gives me another smile, but then he looks as if he notices something, worry flitting across his features.

"What?" I ask.

"Noth—" he starts, but I narrow my eyes, and he sighs.

"It's just…you've stopped wearing your ring," he says solemnly.

I raise my eyebrow, before looking down at my left hand, the pale stipe of skin where  _her_  wedding band had sat on my finger standing out on my tan skin.

"Yeah," I say flatly. "I have."

Then there's a knock at the door.

"I got it," says Kristoff, jumping from the bed.

I know the reason he does, is because he's afraid of what I might do if it was Elsa.

He opens the door, and immediately scowls. "What do  _you_  want?"

Whoever it is—though I have my suspicions—mutters something, before shoving flowers in Kristoff's hands, and, from the sound of it, takes off down the hall. Kristoff looks shocked for a moment, but says nothing. He just shuts the door and makes his way back to me.

"Wow," he says, throwing the flowers unceremoniously onto the bedside table. "Elsa's really laying it on thick, don't yeah think?"

I don't respond. Instead, I whirl off the bed, bounding for the door.

"Sis, I—" Kristoff calls after me, but it's too late.

I fling open the door to see Elsa and Gerda arguing mutedly.

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday that she was this upset? I know you played policeman keeping her from me for a few days to cool off!" Elsa complains.

"Your Majesty, I tried to warn you. She needs some more time in the least," Gerda shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Oh not you too!" Elsa says in exasperation. "This whole castle is mad at me! Even the servants who don't have a clue what's going on! And you should've seen the glares Kristoff has been giving me. He even had the gall to brandish his axe—not that it scares me, I mean I could make it splinter with the snap of my fingers, but it's still a little unnerving for the Queen to be hated in her own castle!"

It's almost cute. She's rambling just like I do. She must really be upset.

She can deal when I'm gone.

"Chm," I interrupt by clearing my throat. "Elsa, I need to speak with you."

Elsa slowly turns. When her eyes meet mine, they are wide with fear.

"H-hey Anna," she stammers. "Um sure. I-I mean, of course."

She follows me into an empty room, and closes the door behind us. We stand, facing each other awkwardly, and Elsa begins to shift uneasily in place. It's unnerving how our positions have switched in just a few days.

"Anna—" Elsa starts, looking somewhat hopeful, but I cut her off.

"I want to go home."

It nearly breaks my heart how hard her face falls. I almost take it back.

"W-what?" she asks, tears in her eyes.

"I said, I want to go home," I repeat firmly, no emotion in my voice.

Elsa looks as if she's having trouble standing. She leans back on the door, her hands coming up to her chest.

"A-Anna…what…w-why…?" she stammers again.

All my control vanishes.

"Why!?" I exclaim, causing her to flinch. "Why—are you serious, Elsa!?"

I growl, and run my hand through my bangs before taking a deep breath. I really need to keep my emotions in check for this.

"I don't belong here," I continue in a slightly calmer tone. "I never did. So, yeah, I want to go home. I don't want to be a part of…whatever  _this_  is anymore."

Elsa closes her eyes, tears leaking out.

"Anna, please…" she pleads softly, and I'm on the verge of crying as well.

But I won't. I need to get through this.

"I can't be here anymore, Elsa. It…it hurts too much," I say, deflating completely. "Being around  _you_  hurts too much. Now, please, just give me the key so I can go home."

It's quiet as Elsa seems to take a moment to collect herself.

"No," she says softly, and I scowl.

" _Excuse_  me? You want to run that by me again?" I growl, my temper slowly rising.

Elsa finally looks me in the eyes. "I won't let you leave yet, Anna."

I cross my arms in anger. "And why not?"

"Look," she says, standing tall again, "I-I know…I know I messed up," I scoff at that, "but I know I can make it up to you, if you just let me. I'm not going to give up on you just yet."

I take another deep breath, scrubbing my face as I fight to stay civil.

"Elsa, believe me when I say there is  _nothing_  you can do to make this up to me," I say slowly. Pointedly. "Give. Me. The. Key."

Elsa shakes her head. "No, Anna. I'm not going to let you just walk away from this, from us!"

" _I'm not her, Elsa!_ " I scream, no longer able to hold back, "I'm not your wife! I'm  _not_ Anna Bjorgman! And I never will be! You've made that  _perfectly_  clear!"

More tears start to make their way down Elsa's face.

"I-I'm sorry, Anna," she cries softly, but it only makes me angrier.

"Shut up! Just  _Shut. Up!_ " I yell, my own tears starting to fall. "It's too late to apologize! It's five months too late! I had a  _life_ , Elsa! Maybe it wasn't the best life, but it was a  _life_! Here I'm just a shell, a replacemat for a wife that isn't here anymore!"

"So you'll leave me too," Elsa says softly, more to herself than to me.

I get it. I really do.

This sucks for her too, but did she have to drag me into it? "I told you, I don't belong here."

"And I told you ' _no_ '," she says with venom and she's shaking with anger, refusing to look at me now, as her arms wrap around her torso.

I start to feel tears trying to escape again, but this time I want to cry from sheer frustration.

"Elsa, I'm leaving one way or another," I stare her down, even if she won't meet my eyes.

At my words, she finally does though and says with the most pained expression I've ever seen her wear "Then leave."

Ouch. That hurt more than it should have. I reel back, my breath hitching for a moment.

"Fine," I spit, storming past her.

 

*****line break*****

 

Stupid. Stupid.  _Stupid._ I'll find a way back home myself. I don't need her stupid key.

I hear something rustling behind me as I gear up in the stables for a ride to anywhere-else-but-here, and I jump a good three feet in the air, turning to see what caused the noise. Sven emerges from one of the stalls, looking somewhat guilty.

"Holy fuck, Sven! You scared the crap outta me!" I exclaim holding a hand to my chest, as I try to still my franticly beating heart.

He seems to smile at me. The resemblance to his human counterpart in my world should be unsettling, but being a reindeer just sort of  _suits_ him.

I ponder him. "Didn't Gerda say that you were the only thing that came back the first time I disappeared? I mean, before Elsa found out I was lost at sea along with her father?"

Where did this world's Anna go that made her decide to completely flee Arendelle? With the King? Sven nods.

"So you took me where I was going when I left last time…" I think aloud.

The reindeer nods his enormous head once more. I scrub my chin in thought. Okay. This is how I get home. Elsa has been so preoccupied with the solstice she hasn't had the opportunity to look for her wife. If I find Elsa's _actual_  Anna, then they'll be reunited and…and I can go home. Because Elsa will move on…

I sigh.

….and then so can I.

"Where did I go?" I ask, resolved now that I have a plan. "Can you take me again?"

Sven turns his broadside to me and jaunts his hip as if inviting me for a ride. I arch a brow. Walking, I'm a natural disaster waiting to happen. I'm supposed to get on a reindeer and be expected to live?

"Uh, how about, you lead…and I follow?" I say nervously.

The reindeer shrugs and…uh, smiles? at me. I return the smile, and gesture at the stable doors.

"All right, lead on, Sven," I say, as we head off into the woods.

 

*****line break*****

 

"J-just g-great," I shiver, pulling my light cloak tighter. "S-she j-just had t-to b-be f-from a p-place w-where its w-winter eight m-months out of t-the y-year."

I trudge throw the snow, too stubborn to head back to the castle. Screw Elsa. I continue on, still muttering to myself.

"S-snow! It h-had t-to be s-snow?! S-she couldn't h-have b-been from a  _t-tropical_  l-land that w-was covered in white sand and warm—" I suddenly look up and see a trail of smoke just over the trees. "Fire!"

I take a step forward, a smile on my face when suddenly, I'm falling.

"Ahh!" I scream out as I slide down a large hill, before landing, ungracefully, on my rear in a stream, my cloak now missing.

"oo-oo-ooh" I shiver, standing up, my dress  _immediately_  freezing.

Are you fucking kidding me!? I start to stand, and Sven helps me up by giving me an antler. I slowly look up towards the smoke, noticing that it's coming from a small trading post. Sven pushes me towards it, his expression telling me that this is where he had taken me—I mean,  _her_ —before. I raise my eyebrow at him, but he only shrugs as if to say 'this is it.' I sigh, and start making my way towards the building.

"Coldcoldcoldcoldcold…" I mutter as I walk up the three steps to the front door, my dress catching slightly on the top step so I have to maneuver awkwardly to move forward.

Sven decides to stay outside and wait for me. I look up at the sign hanging above me, and tap it to rid it of the snow covering it.

"Wandering Oaken's Trading Post," I read, "Ooh! And Sauna!"

I open the door, and wander in, only to be greeted by a very familiar "Yoo-hoo!"

I swivel my head towards the voice and see a giant that I wasn't expecting.

"Oaken?" I say incredulously.

I probably should've gathered that from the sign. Smooth, Anna. Real smooth.

"Oh hello, Miss Anna! It's been too long, ya?" he responds with a large smile.

His smile vanishes suddenly. "I'm so saurry!" he says in his thick accent, his eyes nearly bulging. "I meant 'Your Highness', Your Highness!"

I shake my head quickly. I'm so tired of all this 'Your Highness' crap.

"No no no, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Just Anna's fine," I stammer, giving him a warm smile. "I'd prefer it, actually."

His smile returns and widens. "I vill add a quart of lutefisk so we have good feelings," he says, patting a jar of I-don't-want-to-know-what.

"That's quite all right," I pat the air to stop him. "I really just need to warm up and ask for some directions."

"Oh?" he cocks his head to the side. "Vhere are you going, Miss Anna?"

Good question. "I'm looking for someone, actually," I say vaguely. "When I left…before…It's rumored- I mean, I passed by here, right?"

Oaken scrunches his brows together. "Of course, Miss Anna. I pointed you to the love experts in these parts because you and your lovely wife ver having some problems, ya? You remember?"

"Yes," I nod. "Of course. Love experts. Can you remind me vhere—I mean  _where_ they are?"

He frowns still. "Just over the hill, Miss Anna. Dere's a clearing, ya? Wait dere, Miss Anna."

I nod my head.

"Okay! Thanks!" I say, heading towards the door.

Before I leave, I turn back to the giant. "And, by the way, it was good to see you again, Oaken."

He smiles again, waving at me as I walk out. "You too, Miss Anna. You too."

When I walk back out, Sven is sitting, waiting patiently for me.

"So," I say slowly, "Uh, thanks, Sven, for helping me," The reindeer seems to smile and nod his head enthusiastically. "But, um, I think that I should go the rest of the way alone."

Sven starts to pout, and I pet him behind the ear.

"Hey, it's not cause you're bad company!" I say, somehow knowing what the reindeer is thinking. "It's just…this is something I need to do myself, okay?"

He pouts a little more, but nods his head in understanding, before licking my face. That's not weird. Nope, not at all.

"Thanks, buddy," I smile. "Now, go on. I'll head home when I'm done."

Sven hops up, and—not before I give him one last pet—takes off towards the castle. I sigh as I watch him go, before turning towards the hills.


	20. Chapter nineteen

Chapter 19

 

_I can't feel my senses_

_I just feel the cold_

_All colors seem to fade away_

_I can't reach my soul_

_-"Frozen"_

_Within Temptation_

 

"I hate snow," I mutter to myself as I trudge through the thick powder towards these so-called 'love experts.'

Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it.

I start making my way towards the hills Oaken had pointed out, huffing at the effort it takes to climb them. I continue until I crest the hill, constantly looking out for any sign of life. I halt after a moment, putting my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath.

"Wow," I pant, "I—really—need—to—work—out—more."

When I recover, I look up, and notice that I'm in a clearing. This must be the one Oaken was talking about. And it's completely empty save for some random boulders.

"Hello?" I call out, hoping that I'm not really alone.

Because I would hate to have come out all this way for nothing. I continue to look around, squeaking in delight when I see puffs of steam coming up from the earth.

I quickly run over, shivering as I feel warmth seep back into my bones. "Aaah. Thank God for small favors."

"Yes, it does hit the spot, doesn't it?" I jump at the unexpected voice, yelping in surprise as I look around, trying to locate the owner.

I swivel my head back and forth, searching the entire clearing. Nothing. Nothing but those stupid boulders anyways.

"H-hello?" I try again, hesitantly. "Is anybody out there?"

It's quiet for a moment, before I hear someone clear their throat. "Chm. Down here, dear."

I slowly lower my gaze to the ground, only to see a two-foot-tall woman, who seems to be made of…rock!?

My eyes widen, and I gape at her as she smiles up at me, warming her hands in the steam. "Long time, no see, Anna."

Then I lose it.

"AAAHH!" I scream, stepping back, only to trip and land on my ass, with an "oof!"

The rock-woman-thing, looks at me with concern, but before I can react, I feel the ground begin to shake. The boulders start rocking, and, before my unbelieving eyes, they unroll into more rock people. I scramble to my feet, my eyes still wide with shock. At first, there are only about ten of them, but then more seem to appear. Soon I'm surrounded but hundreds of eyes staring up at me, blinking in unison.

"U-uh…" I stammer, trying to back away, but finding that I have nowhere to go.

It's quiet for a moment as the wide-eyed boulders stare at me and I stare back, before all of them yell in unison "Anna's back!"

"Ack!" I exclaim from the hundreds of miniature hands that begin pulling me in for hugs.

"All right, all right, let the girl breath," I hear a gravelly voice say, and I'm released as the creatures part, making room for a single rock-person to roll up to me. "Hello, Anna."

Guessing from the cloak, I take it he's the leader.

"Uh…Chm, h-hi," I stammer, suddenly shy, as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Hello, Anna…Christiansen."

My eyes widen once again. "How do you know who I am!? I mean, the real me, not the Anna Bjorgman, Your Highness, Princess Consort of Arendelle me?" I blurt out.

The rock man chuckles. "I have my ways. We trolls tend to be more attuned to these kind of things than humans."

Trolls?

…Why am I not surprised? I swear, I am so done with this magic crap.

"So…um, Mr. Troll King—" I start.

"Pabbie," he interjects with another chuckle. "Please, call me Pabbie."

"Right, uh, Pabbie," I continue, "I-I guess, if you know who I am, then that also means you know why I'm here?"

The troll nods. "You are looking for your other half."

"Uh, y-yeah," I stammer, "I guess I am."

Pabbie gives me a small smile. "And why would you be doing that so close to the solstice, young one?"

I sigh, looking down at my hands, suddenly unable to speak.

"Anna?" pushes the troll gently.

I look up at him, seeing only compassion and understanding in his eyes, as if he already knew what I was going to say.

"I…" I sigh again, not sure how to explain. "I just…need to."

Pabbie gives me a sad look, waiting for me to continue.

"I just…want to be happy again…I want Elsa be happy again. Is that crazy? That after everything she's put me through, I still want her to be happy?" I feel my voice break slightly on the last word.

The troll shakes his head. "You love her."

It's not a question, but I answer him anyways.

"Yes," I gasp, tears building in my eyes, my own admission feeling like a punch in the gut.

Because this is the first time that I've said it aloud.

"It's okay to be in love, Anna," says Pabbie, when my tears start to fall.

"Not when you're in love with someone else's wife," I bite back, but the troll just smiles again. "And I don't' want to hear some bull about how we are the same person, cause we're not."

"No, you're not," agrees Pabbie, and I pause.

That's the first time I've heard that since being here…and actually believed it.

"N-no, we're not," I repeat.

Pabbie smiles again. "So, you want to find Miss Bjorgman, because you believe it will make Elsa happy, and you want our help? Is that correct?"

"Y-yes," I stammer, surprised at his sudden forwardness. "Can you help me?"

The troll nods. "We can. But it won't be easy."

"I don't care," I exclaim, "I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever I need to do to…" I sigh, "To put all this behind me so I can get on with my life. Even if it's just for a little while."

Pabbie gives me another sad smile. "Then let's get started."

 

*****line break*****

 

"Are you comfortable dear?"

I turn my head.

"I'm fine, Bulda, thank you," I respond, smiling at the troll.

She smiles at me, before walking off, leaving me lying on a large pile of moss. Pabbie walks over and stands next to me, placing an old book on the ground.

"So…what exactly are we doing?" I ask, and he smiles at me.

"We are going to try to view Anna Bjorgman's most recent memories," he says. "Hopefully, they will show us her location, and we can go retrieve her."

"It's that simple!?" I exclaim, pushing myself up on my elbows, causing the troll to laugh.

"Yes, it is," he replies, gently pushing me back down.

"Well, then why didn't Elsa come here when she was looking for her?" I ask, furrowing my brow.

Pabbie looks at me with sad eyes. "She did. But the spell only works if we have the other half of the soul to use as a focus point. And we weren't even sure if Miss Bjorgman was still alive."

"Oh, I…guess that makes sense," I concede. "But, then why didn't she bring me here sometime in the last few months?"

Pabbie shakes his head. "That, I do not know."

I furrow my brow in thought. If Elsa had a chance, even a small one, to bring back her wife, why didn't she? Could…could it have been because she…really loved me?

No. No…she doesn't. She never loved me. She made that perfectly clear…But, that begs the question…why? As I try to puzzle out an answer, Pabbie kneels and places a rough hand over my forehead.

"If it is all right, Miss Christensen, we will begin," he says. "Please close your eyes."

I nod, and do as he says, closing out the world around me.

I hear Pabbie's voice from somewhere to my right. "Now, I must warn you, Anna, this spell can be quite painful at first. Please let me know if it becomes too much, and I will stop. As much as you want to find your other half, it will not do us any good if you are injured."

I gulp, but nod. I'll do anything to get out of this nightmare.

"Are you ready?" Pabbie asks one last time.

I pause for a moment, before nodding again. "Yes."

"Very well," he says, before a sharp pain, unlike anything I've ever felt, shoots through my head.

I feel my back arch in reaction, a yell escaping my lips. Then everything goes black.

 

*****line break*****

_Rain._ _Lightning._ _Pain._

_"Ow," I mumble, standing and rubbing my head._

_"Your Highness!" I hear someone shout, and I turn to see a guard running down the ship, slipping in the rain. "Your Highness, are you all right?"_

_"Yeah, I think so," I yell back, the storm nearly drowning out my words. "Just slipped is all."_

_The guard nods, taking my elbow, pulling me towards the captain's cabin. "Come on, Your Highness. We need to get you out of this rain. The storm's worse than we thought it was."_

_I follow him for a second before pausing, causing him to lose his grip on my arm._

_"Wait," I call over the storm. "What about the King? Where is he?"_

_"He's fine," yells the guard, "He's belowdeck, now please Your Highness, we need to get you to safety!"_

_I nod, and allow him to lead the way, when suddenly we are thrown to the floor when a large wave hits the side of the ship, washing over us._ _The water drains away, leaving me sputtering for breath and coughing up sea water._ _When I recover, I look up, expecting to see the guard, only to find I'm alone._

_"Guard?" I call out as lighting flashing through the sky. "Guard!"_

_My only answer is the sounds of the storm._

_Fear starts to fill my chest. "Oh no."_

_Then another wave hits the ship, the water once again knocking me off my feet._ _Only this time, I go over the edge._ _I try to scream for help as I feel myself falling, but water fills my lunges._ _I flail, reaching out for something-anything,-to hold onto, and I manage to grab a rope._ _I'm thrown hard against the side of the ship, coughing up more sea water, as I hold on for dear life._

_"Help!" I yells over the rain, hoping—no praying—that someone hears me. "Help!"_

_I look up and see movement at the edge of the ship before someone looks down at me._ _I can't see their face, only their silhouette._

_"Help me!" I call to them. "Please!"_

_The person moves their hand, as if to pull the rope over, but when another flash of lighting lights the sky, I see the glint of a knife._ _Panic fills my chest as the weapon moves closer to the line._

_"Wait!" I cry out, causing the hand to pause. "Please, don't do this!"_

_The person hesitates for a moment, before grabbing the rope and pulling it up, bringing me closer to the edge._ _I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking I was in the clear, that I was safe._ _But when the person—a man I think—grabbed me by my collar, and lifting me far from the railing, I knew that I never was._ _I don't know how, but I feel the man smile cruelly as I struggle against his grip._

_"Please," I beg, tears running down my face and mixing with the rain._

_The man then leans in, bringing his mouth to my ear._

_"Begging won't do you any good, Anna," he whispers, and my eyes widen_

_No. It can't be._

_"Why?" I ask, and he laughs._

_"Because you are in my way, Anna. You are a distraction, and I won't allow Elsa to lose sight of her true path," he answers, pushing me farther out over the water._

_"Goodbye, Princess," he says, still smiling, before releasing me, letting me fall into the waves._

_"AAHH!" I scream, until I hit the water._

_I sink fast, and, not for the first time, I wish I had learned how to swim._ _I flail, somehow breaking the surface of the water, only to be pushed down again by another wave._ _My lungs begin to burn as I fight to break the surface again, but I am unable to._ _Slowly, I stop fighting as my body starts to shut down._ _My eyes start to close, my body surrendering to death as I sink father and father into the ocean._

_I think of Elsa, trying to calm myself as I face the inevitable._ _Her hair. Her eyes._ _Her smile._ _I'm never going to see any of them again._ _And it's all my fault._

_My last thoughts are regret, because I never should have come._ _And now I'm paying the price._ _I can feel myself slipping away._

_I'm so sorry, Elsa._

_I love you._

_And then, I know nothing more._

_*****line break*****_

 

I sit up, gasping for breath as the last bits of the memory fade. I cough, and pant for breath, my adrenaline running. What the hell was that!?

My vision blurs, and I wipe my face, only to find it wet with tears. I look up and see none of the trolls will meet my gaze.

"Pabbie?" I call out, my voice breaking slightly, "Pabbie, what the hell was that!?"

The elder troll looks up at me.

"It was her last memory, Anna," he answers softly.

"Her last memory!? What the fuck does that mean!?" I nearly scream, panic filling my chest as the truth of his words start to sink in.

The troll king looks at me, sadness in his eyes. "It means, dear one, that your soul's other half has had its light extinguished."

I suck in a breath, his words feeling like a punch to my gut.

"Y-you…you mean that…s-she's…d-dead?" I stammer, more tears threating to fall.

Pabbie nods solemnly.

"B-but, but that can't be!" I exclaim, standing up. "E-Elsa told me that…that if one half…d-died…then so did the other…and, and I'm still here!"

The trolls says nothing.

"Pabbie," I cry, "Pabbie what does that mean? A-am…am I going to…"

"Yes, Anna Christensen. Your light will soon end too," finishes Pabbie for me, and I fall to my knees in anguish.

"But, it's been nine months…" I say quietly, and I feel a rough hand on my shoulder.

"I do not know why you have lasted this long, young one, but you will not last much longer," says Pabbie, as tears start to fall silently. "I am truly sorry."

I'm going to die. After everything I've been through…I'm actually going to die. Then it clicks. The depression, the voices in my head, the sudden need to jump off of a balcony. It's all because of this. It was nature's way of telling me that it was my time, and I was just too stubborn to see it.

"How long?" I ask softly, and I can feel the troll's hesitation.

I look up at him, and repeat my question. "How. Long."

Pabbie looks down at me sadly. "I'm not entirely sure, but...soon."

"Soon!? What do you mean soon!?" I exclaim, but the troll doesn't answer me.

He only continues to look at in pity.

"Oh my God," I whisper to myself in horror, "I-I'm going to die..."

And to think I had just decided that I wanted to live. I stand, numbness filling my body.

"Anna?" says Pabbie, concern in his voice, but I ignore him.

I walk away from the clearing, back the way I came. When I make it to the trees, I start to run. I run from the trolls, from the memories, from the pain. I run from everything.

My vision once again becomes blurry, but I don't stop, even when I continue to trip over the forest floor. Eventually, I fall, and don't get back up, instead curling in on myself as sobs rack my body.

I'm going to die. I'm going to fucking die.

I use the last of my strength to pull myself under a tree, resting my back against the trunk and bringing my knees to my chest.

All this time. All this time, I was never supposed to be alive. I place my head on my knees, shivering from the cold. I should move. I should go back to the castle. I should tell Elsa. But I can't seem to move. Because what's the point? I'm going to die, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

I cry into my knees, rocking back and forth as the light begins to fade, and the moon begins to rise. And all through the night, I repeat one thought over and over again.

I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die.

"I don't want to die."


	21. Chapter twenty

Chapter 20

 

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_-"Chasing Cars"_

_Snow Patrol_

 

I don't remember when I stop feeling cold. Or when I stop shivering. But when I realize that I have, I can't seem to bring myself to care. I know somewhere in the back of my mind that I probably have hypothermia, but I don't do anything about it. I mean, I'm going to die anyway, right?

Might as well speed up the process.

The longer I sit, the more I realize just how tired I am. Slowly, I feel my eyes start to droop. I lay my cheek on my knees, allowing my eyelids to shut. I'm so close to unconsciousness that I don't notice when the sun begins to rise. I don't hear the crunch of footsteps in the snow, or the sound of someone calling my name.

At least not until I feel warm hands on my shoulders, shaking me back into awareness.

"…nna! Anna! Wake up!" I hear someone yelling, as if from far away, and I look up to see Kristoff's worried face. "Dammit Anna, wake up!"

"K-Kristoff?" I say slowly, confused as to why he would be here. "What…what're you doing here?"

"Christ, Anna!" he exclaims, "What the hell are you doing out here!?"

I try to answer him, but my mind is all foggy.

"Never mind," waves off Kristoff, before bringing his hands to my cheeks. "We need to get you back to the castle. You're freezing cold."

"I-I'm fine," I stammer, even though we both know that it's not true.

"No, you're not," he retorts, "I mean, Jesus, Anna, for a minute there I thought you were…" he shakes his head, "just…come on."

Kristoff bends down and picks me up bridal style, and, being too weak to do much, I offer no resistance. I just snuggle into his chest, my body automatically curling towards the nearest source of heat.

Kristoff then jumps onto Sven—how did I not notice him before?—and within seconds we are off, the reindeer galloping at a fierce pace.  


"Hang in there, Anna," he says, before shouting out to the reindeer, "Faster Sven!"

As we ride, the blond tries his best to keep me warm. He holds me close, throwing his beanie over my head, and rubbing my arms to get my blood moving. It does help a little, and by the time we reach the castle, I've started shivering again.

Despite my weak protests, Kristoff carries me inside, and I let an involuntary groan out when the warmth of the fire washes over me.

"Anna!" I hear someone exclaim, and I look up to see Elsa running over to us.

As she gets closer, I can tell from her red, puffy eyes that she's been crying, and her hair's falling out of her normal braid, as if she's been constantly running her hands through it. At this point, I finally convince Kristoff to let me stand on my own two feet, though I do have to lean on him for support.

At least until Elsa pulls me into a bone-crushing hug.

"H-hey, E-Els," I stutter, my teeth chattering from the force of my shudders.

"Gods, Anna! You're freezing!" she cries, pulling back and cupping my cheek, though I flinch.

Her hands are like ice. Wow, she must be really worried. I wonder how cold it'll get when I tell her that her wife is dead. I shake off the thought. I'm not going to tell her anything right now. It'll only make her more upset.

"I-I'm f-f-fine, E-Elsa," I try to reassure her, "J-just a l-l-little c-cold is a-all."

Elsa just ignores me, and turns to Kristoff.

"We need to get her warmed up," she says, and he nods in agreement. "Go find as many blankets as you can and bring them to our room. And find Gerda."

Kristoff nods again, and takes off without another word as Elsa carefully leads me to our room, my body racked with violent shudders the entire time. We reach the bathroom, and Elsa immediately goes to the tub. She begins to run the water, but it starts to freeze the second she touches it.

"Shit," she curses to herself, and she thaws it with a wave of her hand, only to have it freeze over again.

I stand in the corner, shivering with my arms wrapped around my torso as I try to reserve some of my non-existent body heat. Just as Elsa tries to thaw the water a third time, Gerda bursts in. She takes in the scene for a moment, before walking over to Elsa, and moving her towards the door. The Queen tries to fight her off, but the maid stops her with a look.

"Gerda, I want to stay," she pleads with the older woman, but Gerda won't have it.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but I can't have you in here right now. Not until you can control yourself," she says firmly. "Her Highness needs to get warm, and she can't do that if you keep dropping the temperature."

"But—" Elsa begins to argue, but Gerda cuts her off.

"No, Elsa."

Elsa looks over to me worriedly, then back a Gerda, before releasing a shaky breath and nodding. She allows the maid to guide her towards the door, and, before Gerda shuts it, she looks at me one more time. My heart breaks when I see the tears in her eyes, and the worry on her face.

Then the door shuts, and it's just Gerda and me.

The maid runs me another bath, not saying a word before moving over to me. She leads me towards the tub, and begins to help me strip. I don't try to stop her. At this point, I just don't care anymore.

When she finally manages to get me out of my clothes, she helps me into the, now warm, water. I shudder, and let out a gasp as I settle. I feel my toes and fingers begin to tingle at the sudden change in temperature. Then it starts to burn and hurt. I may have been a dumbass, letting myself get so cold.

Fuck that hurts. Yeah. Dumbass.

Gerda walks behind me, and begins to pour more warm water over my back repeatedly, trying to warm my body temperature. The pain subsides as the heat brings life back into my limbs. Gradually, I begin to cease my shuddering, until I finally feel my muscles un-tense and I am able to settle into the water.

"Better?" Gerda asks.

"Mmmm much better. Thank you, Gerda," I sigh with my eyes closed.

Man it feels good to relax. I've  _kind of_  had a rough few days.

"Good," I hear Gerda respond. "Then I can do this."

I feel a sharp sting at the back of my head where she just smacked me.

"Ow!" I cry, rubbing the sore spot and turning to regard the scariest version of Gerda I've ever seen.

I gulp. Daggers. That's all she's got for me.

"Serves you right, Your Highness," she fumes, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes in a glare.  
"How  _dare_  you do that to Her Majesty, to all of us!?"

I look down, adequately shamed. She doesn't know why I did it, because she doesn't know what the trolls and I found out today.

I sigh and continue to rub at the sore spot now forming into a lump. "I'm sorry, Gerda."

It's all I can say, really.

"Sorry for what exactly?" Gerda says, evidently still fuming. "Sorry that you ran out on us again? Sorry that you—"

"I'm just sorry!" I interrupt her. "Look, you just…you don't understand what's been going on with..." I pause, trying to choose my words carefully. "With Elsa and me. It's…complicated."

"What's complicated?" Gerda demands. "You love each other. That's it. Honestly, sometimes I think..."

Gerda continues to angrily ramble, but I'm no longer paying attention.

We love each other? No. No, I love Elsa and Elsa…Elsa loves a ghost.

I breathe deeply. I have to tell her…Right? Or...or do I?

"Gerda?" I interrupt the woman again.

"What is it now, Your Highness?" Gerda tsks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I was trying to find some answers and well," I pause. "I found them."

"Well..." Gerda hesitates. She places a gentle palm on my shoulder. "Good. That's…good, I suppose, Child. I really didn't mean to scold you, Your Highness, I just worry about you. Both of you. I know I'm just a maid, but I've seen you both grow into the beauties you are, and I just couldn't forgive myself if anything ever..." she stops and when I look back to see why, I see tears in her eyes as she looks to the side into a nonexistent distance.

I shake my head at myself. It's bad enough they've lost the princess. I shouldn't be the cause of any more grief. So I'm going to die. So what? People die. Part of life, right?

Right?

I gulp. No matter how messed up things are, no matter what I've been through these last few months, I still don't want to die. But it looks like I don't really have a choice. I look back at Gerda to see her wiping her tears away on her apron.

"I really am sorry, Gerda," I say and it's the truth.

I'm sorry I'm not  _her_. I'm sorry Gerda and Elsa and everyone will have to lose her all over again. And I'm sorry I'm going to die.

It's true what they say. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. I wish I could have had that.

I feel Gerda press a kiss to the spot where she'd smacked me and sniff as she turns toward the door. "I'll fetch you some hot chocolate, Child. We'll warm your insides up as well."

"Thank you, Gerda, for everything," I say, not wanting to leave things unsaid at least. The Powers That Be might drop a piano on me at any moment.

I almost laugh at the thought.

Gerda smiles warmly at me. "Of course…Anna."

I return the smile. I'm going to count that as mine. She used my name, not  _her_  title. Gerda leaves me alone, and I lean back, closing my eyes as I try not to think about how I'm going to break the news to Elsa.

I don't want to tell her. It'll break her heart, and…and I don't think I can watch that. I…I don't think I'm strong enough. Especially since, even if it's indirectly, I'll be the cause. I sigh as I wrestle with the thought.

I have to tell her. I have to. It's not fair for her to continue to think that her wife is alive. It's not fair to give her false hope.

When Gerda returns, she finds me crying into my knees, violent sobs wracking my body. I hear her come in, and feel her hands rubbing soothing circles on my back as she offers me calming words. I turn to her, and pull her towards me, clutching to her front as I continue to sob.

Gerda says nothing. She just holds me until my cries die down, and all that's left is a sniveling mess. As I calm, I feel myself slowly losing consciousness as the events of the past few days catch up with me. I guess I didn't realize just how exhausted I was until now.

I feel Gerda help me out of the tub, wrapping me in a robe, before leading me towards the bed. She helps me lay down, and covers me in several blankets. I feel my eyes slowly close, not able to fight off sleep any longer.

"Goodnight, Your Highness," she says softly, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I'll check on you in a few hours."

I'm asleep before she leaves the room.

 

*****line break*****

 

I awake to the sound of someone snoring.

"What the hell?" I grumble, slowly opening my eyes, only to find Kristoff asleep in a chair next to the bed.

"Kristoff," I mumble, still groggy.

He doesn't move.

"Kristoff," I try again, a little louder.

"Kristoff!"

He lets out a loud snort, but doesn't wake.

"Son of a—" I grab a pillow and throw it at him. "KRISTOFF!"

He wakes with a jolt.

"Huh? What?" he exclaims, looking around the room for a second before he realizes where he is. "Anna, what the hell?"

I glare at him for a moment. "You were snoring like a freaking lawn mower."

"A what?" he asks, confused.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. "Nothing. Never mind."

We sit in silence for a few moments, before Kristoff decides to speak up.

"So, chm…how are you feeling?" he tries—and fails—to say nonchalantly.

And just like that, all the events from the last few days come to the front of my mind, and I feel tears prick at my eyes. I look away from Kristoff, not answering his question.

"That bad, huh?" he says.

I rest my head in my hands. "How did everything get so…messed up?"

Kristoff says nothing, and I look up at him, only to see him looking at me with worry.

"What's going on, Anna?" he asks after a moment.

I look down at my hands, not sure what to say.

"N-nothing," I mutter.

"Bullshit," he retorts, and I flinch at the sudden venom in his voice. "Something is going on between you and Elsa, and I want to know what. And don't give me that 'she's in love with someone else' crap, because the way she looked when you didn't come back, there's no way she doesn't love you with all her heart."

I close my eyes, tears finally leaking down my face. "Kristoff—"

"Don't 'Kristoff' me, Anna," he cuts me off. "Tell me what's going on."

"No," I say softly.

"Anna, tell me," he demands, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. "Please."

"I can't, Kris," I retort, and he glares at me.

"Why not?"

"Because I just…I can't, okay?" I snap, suddenly annoyed with his sudden interest. "Besides, you wouldn't believe me if I could."

I realize this conversation is similar to the one Elsa and I had the day she escaped the hospital. I almost laugh at the irony.

Kristoff looks me in the eyes, concern showing in his face. "Try me."

Should I tell him?

…no. No he doesn't need to know. Not yet. Because if I tell him, then I have to tell him that his sister, his real sister, is dead. And…and I don't know if I'm strong enough to do that.

Christ, how the hell am I going to tell Elsa?

I sigh again.

"Can…can I just see my wife? I…I need to talk to her," I say softly.

"Anna—" he starts to argue, but I cut him off.

"Please?"

Kristoff sighs, and runs a hand over his face, contemplating if he's going to let me off the hook. It doesn't look likely.

"Look," I start to lie, "I promise…I promise I'll tell you everything after I see Elsa, okay? I just…I need to see her first."

Kristoff looks at me warily, and for a moment I don't think he's going to believe me, but then he's nodding and standing up.

"All right," he sighs, "All right, fine. I'll go get Elsa. But Anna," he glares at me, "when you're done, we  _will_  have a talk, and you  _will_  tell me everything. Understand?"

I nod, though I have no intention of keeping that promise.

"Good," he walks out the door, leaving me alone.

A few minutes pass before I hear a soft knock on the door.

I take a slow, deep breath in and let it out even more slowly.

"Come in," I call, wrapping my arms around my knees as I sit against the headboard.

Elsa ducks in and turns to close the door softly as though I were still asleep and she was trying to be quiet. She doesn't want to poke the angry bear again, I guess. She turns around, but stays near the door, holding one of her elbows and biting her lip nervously.

"Els—"

"Anna," Elsa stops me, a hand patting the air. "Wait," she closes her eyes tightly as if in pain. "First, just let me apologize. I didn't mean to tell you to leave yesterday. The words just slipped out. I didn't want you to be here because I was holding you prisoner. I wanted...I wanted..." she sighs and looks up at me finally. "I wanted you to be here because you made the choice to be here. I was too hurt that you made the opposite choice so I—"

"Els," I interrupt gently. "Come here," I pat the bed beside me. "We should talk."

I see Elsa gulp and can't help a small smile that forms at the corner of my lips. Fuck her and her fucking adorableness.

I sigh. "Just sit. I— _we_ —need to talk."

Elsa hesitates for a moment, before slowly walking over and sitting on the farthest corner of the bed. I sigh, giving her another small smile, before patting the spot right next to me again.

"Come on, Els," I say softly. "I promise I won't bite."

Elsa gives me a wary look as she slides up next to me, stiff as a bored. I don't say anything. I just lay my head on her shoulder, feeling her tense even more at the motion. We stay like that for a moment, and I feel her finally begin to relax. When it feels like she's not going to bolt, I lift my head and place a gentle kiss on her temple, startling her.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa," I whisper, a lump forming in my throat as I try not to cry.

Elsa looks at me with big, confused eyes.

"S-sorry?" she stammers, clearly stunned by my words. "What could you  _possibly_  be sorry for, Anna?"

I turn away from her gaze, choosing not to mention the whole 'I almost killed myself over a week ago' fiasco. I have to tell her. She has every right to know.

I steel myself for what I have to do, ignoring the pain in my chest. I look back at her again, the words on my lips, but when I see her concerned expression, my resolve breaks.

I can't do it. I can't tell her. I'm…I'm not strong enough. I can't tell her I'm going to die. Because if I say it out loud, then it makes it real. And…and I just can't handle that. Not yet.

"Anna?" Elsa presses, and I realize I haven't answered her.

I shake my head, letting out a soft sob. I feel a cold hand on my cheek, whipping away the tears that had started to fall.

"Oh, Anna," she coos gently, pulling me onto her lap as more sobs start to escape me.

I cling to Elsa, crying for the umpteenth time, my tears soaking through her dress. She gently rocks me back and forth, offering soft words of comfort as my sobs turn even more violent.

I can't do it. God, I'm such a coward, but I can't do it Why am I so weak?

I can tell that Elsa wants to ask me what's wrong, but she doesn't pressure me. She just holds me as I cry, and for that, I'm incredibly thankful. After a few minutes, I finally calm down to just hiccupping softly as Elsa strokes my hair.

"I-I'm s-sorry," I stammer, sniffing softly, "I-I s-said we w-were going t-to talk, and t-then I j-just break d-down."

Elsa places a kiss to the top of my head.

"It's all right, Anna," she says gently, "Sometimes you need to cry, to let out your pain."

I nod in agreement, tightening my hold on her dress as I snuggle further into her embrace. She's right. Now that I've calmed I feel…better. I just…I just needed to be held I guess.

We sit in silence for a few moments until Elsa speaks again. "Anna, do…do you mind if I say something?" she asks hesitantly, and I shake my head, not looking up at her.

"I just…I want to apologize. For everything," she says, and I hear her sniff. "I just threw you into all of this, without once asking if it was okay with you, and for that I'm so sorry. I never meant to…to make you feel like you were some replacement, but I think that, at least on some level, you were," I flinch slightly at her confession, but I never really expected any less. "But the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that I was falling in love all over again. And that scared me. I felt…I felt like I was betraying my wife, but I just couldn't stop. I tried to justify it by telling both you and myself that you were the same person…but you're not. And when…when you jumped…it brought all my guilt to a head. I know I've caused you a lot of pain, but…just know that I  _do_  love you, Anna, and I'm sorry for what I said, but it would be a lie to say I didn't mean it. All this is just so confusing."

I feel Elsa lay her head on top on mine as my heart breaks with every word. I wish she would stop. It only makes the truth of my situation that much harder.

"Elsa," I say after a moment, "Can…can we just…forget everything? At least for tonight? Can we just lay here for a while?"

I feel her lift her head, and I look up into her eyes, which are filled with concern.

"I…I just need you to hold me tonight," I plead softly. "Please?"

Elsa hesitates for a second, before nodding once, slowly. We adjust slightly so that we are now laying down, with me curled up against Elsa's chest, her chin on my head as she holds me close.

I know I need to tell her. I shouldn't put it off for much longer but…but I just…can't. I'm not ready. And I don't know that I ever will be.

I let myself slowly drift off to sleep in Elsa's arms, telling myself that maybe I'll find the courage to tell her in the morning.

 

*****line break*****

 

It's 1 AM. I know because the grandfather clock in the corner has ticked approximately 14, 322 times…give or take a few. Okay, fine, the toll the clock gives every hour may have clued me in as well.

But I am pretty bored.

I woke up shortly after falling asleep, I think, and couldn't convince myself that sleep mattered that much. What? Was I going to damage my health? Who the fuck cares when you're dying?

Ah, one silver lining to this mess. Guilt. Free. Everything. Maybe I'll have the kitchen staff make me every kind of chocolate under the sun…well, at least this world's sun.

I stare up at the ceiling, my hands folded over my stomach atop Elsa's forearm which is wrapped around my waist. I glance down, out of the corner of my eye to watch her sleep and indulge in gazing at her dreamily. It's not like the hollowness in my heart is going to matter much longer. I might as well enjoy this while I can.

When did I fall in love with her? It took me a while to realize that I loved her, but when exactly did it happen? Probably the second I laid eyes on her. She's so  _so_ beautiful.

…

And she's in bed with me right now. Forget chocolate…I could…

I mean, why not?

I'm gonna die. And I love her.

I shake my head to snap out of it, and return to staring up at the ceiling.

Nope. Not gonna sleep with her. Nope. Well, I mean, I'm sleeping with her right now technically. Well…actually, I'm not sleeping right now. Ugh! I think I know what my own mind freakin' means! Point is: not gonna happen. Nope.

I gulp and turn my head ever so slightly so as not to disturb her as I gaze at her once again. She really is…very…beautiful…

"Is the sky awake?" Elsa suddenly asks.

I recoil in surprise. "What? Uhh…" I stammer. "Weren't you asleep?"

"The sky must be awake; you're awake," she smiles softly as she speaks, but her eyes remain closed.

"Well so are you," I quirk a brow and purse my lips to one side in puzzlement.

How long have we both been awake? I feel my cheeks warm as I wonder if she knows what I've been doing…and thinking…

"I may have been awakened, because  _someone_ has been fidgeting," she says with a smirk, at last opening her eyes and I find myself gazing into them—no, through them—just to try to memorize them.

Even dead, I hope I'll remember what it's like to feel those eyes on me and God, I don't use words like "dazzling" lightly, but Elsa's eyes  _are_.

Elsa's smirk spreads into a grin as I stare at her and she pulls herself closer to me. "What's keeping you up?"

I break our eye-contact, not wanting to give anything away. "Um, well, you know…" I hesitate.

"No, I don't," Elsa says softly, kissing my shoulder gently in encouragement. "I can guess, but I'd rather you tell me."

I let out an involuntary chuckle. I doubt she could guess. She probably thinks I'm still bothered by the whole I-yelled-at-you-because-I-was-afraid-I-would-lose-my-wife-again thing when really it's about the I-don't-know-my-wife-that-I've-used-you-to-replace-is-dead thing.

I furrow my brows. Shit has gone down recently.

I feel a light bite on my shoulder now and I squeak. "Hey!" I yelp.

Elsa chuckles. "I was trying to get through to the mothership. Anna, let's talk. We have to work through this."

I clear my throat, feeling a lump building up there.

I…

I look at her. _Really_ look at her. If I love her…then I need to put her before myself, even if she hasn't always done that for me.

"Okay," I begin, taking a deep breath and letting out a slow exhale. "Okay," I sit up slightly and Elsa follows.

I hesitate, despite my resolve.

"Maybe you could tell me where you went today? Start there?" Elsa suggests, rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand with her thumb as she holds my hands in hers.

"Um…okay…well, I had Sven take me where this world's Anna went when she left," I say, struggling with every word.

Elsa is silent for a moment as she stares down at our hands, the soothing circles no longer being traced.

"Els?"

"I'm listening," Elsa says, barely above a whisper.

She seems afraid, like she fears exactly what it is I have to tell her.

I swallow the lump that's fully formed in my throat now. "And, well," I swallow again and concentrate on keeping my voice steady. "He took me to Oaken's."

"Oaken's?" Elsa repeats, frowning as she looks up again.

I nod in affirmation. "And he told me she went to see some love experts."

"The trolls," Elsa nods. "I see."

I nod again.

"What'd they say?" she cocks her head to the side as she ponders aloud. "I didn't go, because…I feared the worst. I didn't want them to confirm it," she says.

I gulp.

"But that's not possible," Elsa smiles at me. "You're here, so I know she's fine, wherever she is."

My heart is racing and I feel tears start to form in my eyes.

Elsa frowns and brushes my cheek. "What is it?"

I shake my head. I don't know if I can do this.

"What'd they say, Anna?" Elsa seems more frantic each second I prolong this.

Band-Aid. Rip it off, Anna

I take a deep breath. "They said her light is extinguished."

Elsa doesn't react. She just sits there.

"They're wrong," she denies, frowning. "You're alive. Each half of a soul lives while the other lives. It dies when the other dies. They're wrong."

More tears beg to escape me, but I hold them back. "It's true, Elsa. They pulled the memory from me. I saw it all with my own two eyes."

Elsa stands at once. "No. No!"

Deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, Elsa," I say softly, reaching for her, but she flinches away.

I can't deny it hurts, but I didn't expect this to be easy.

"It's just not possible," Elsa reasons. "You're alive! She has to be alive! What  _exactly_ did you see?"

"I saw her drown, Elsa," I answer.

"Drown?"

"And someone..." I pause, trying to filter through the foggy memory, "a man pushed her into sea. She was murdered, Elsa."

If it's possible, Elsa seems to pale further. "Who? What did he look like?"

I shake my head. "It was too dark. I couldn't see."

I think better of telling her what the man said. It's bad enough hearing about your wife's death, I'm not about to tell Elsa that Arendelle's Anna died because some psychopath said she was a distraction to Elsa.

"Her last thoughts were of you," I offer gently. "She loved you so much, Elsa."

"No," Elsa still denies it. "No, I'll speak to the trolls in the morning. This just isn't possible. It's been months. You should have died ages ago if this were true."

I ignore the flippant remark regarding my life and refrain from telling her my time is indeed coming. One thing at a time.

"Okay, Elsa," I say.

Maybe it'll help to hear it from the trolls.

"That's what we'll do," Elsa nods. "We'll go see the trolls together tomorrow. It's impossible, so something else is going on here," she nods to herself, climbing back into bed and dropping her head on her pillow, facing away from me.

Wow, denial really is the first step. It'll take time for her to accept this.

Time I don't have.

 

*****line break*****

 

I stand, staring down at Elsa. I shake my head, and clutch the piece of paper in my hands a little tighter. I look at the clock when its toll sounds. 3 AM. Everyone's probably asleep right now. I look back at Elsa and a lump starts to form in my throat.

God, I'm such a fucking coward. Why can't I be the rock for once? I mean, I can't even write why I'm doing this in a fucking  _letter._ And I tried…I tried so hard. But I just couldn't. All I could manage was a short statement. Two small words that I know will hurt her more than anything I could have said.

_I'm sorry._

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. She's going to hate me for this. But…but it's better that way. It's better that I'm not here when I die too. I won't put her in any danger my death might involve. And maybe this way she won't come looking for me.

I feel guilt well up in my chest as I look down at my pathetic note. I take another breath as I fold the paper in half and place it on the table next to Elsa. I then reach up and pull the chain around my neck, snapping it, before pulling the wedding band off of it. I may have stopped wearing it, but I wasn't going to part with it so easily.

I place the ring on top of the note, as I will myself not to cry. I fail when I finally look back at Elsa. She looks so peaceful, despite the fact that she just learned her wife is dead. Even if she didn't believe it. But she will. If I know her, and I'm pretty sure I do, she  _will_  go see the trolls, and they  _will_  tell her the truth.

And then she'll break.

Maybe…maybe then she'll understand why I had to leave. Maybe then she'll know that I was just trying to protect her, the only way I know how.

I stifle a sob when I realize that this is probably the last time I'm ever going to see her, but I can't break down now. I'm so close. I can do this.

I sniffle before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her temple, causing her to smile in her sleep. Then I whisper the words that, until now, I couldn't bring myself to tell her. The words that I couldn't even write, because of how much they hurt.

"I love you, Elsa," I swallow another sob. "I love you so much, and I'm so,  _so_  sorry."

I stand, wiping my eyes, before quietly pulling open the small drawer on the nightstand, where I know Elsa keeps the key. I take it, and quietly make my way to the closet door. I put the key in the lock, and turn it quickly, not wanting time to chicken out. Because I need to do this.

I open the door, the blue swirls greeting me, but this time they don't turn black. I leave the key in the lock. It's not like I'm going to need it again. I steel myself as I take a step, but my resolve breaks, and I take one last look back at Elsa.

"Goodbye, Elsa," I say, then turn and walk through the portal, the sound of the door softly clicking shut behind me the last thing I hear.


	22. Chapter twenty one

Chapter 21

 

_I will dedicate and sacrifice my everything_

_For just a seconds worth of how my story's ending_

_And I wish I could know if the directions that I take_

_And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing_

_-"Crawling in the Dark"_

_Hoobastank_

 

The next thing I know, I'm standing in front of a familiar yet unfamiliar door, which I open without a second thought. I really shouldn't be surprised that I came out here, and frankly, I'm a little relieved. I mean, I could've just popped out anywhere, so stepping through Elsa's closet was a nice surprise. If I was in a better state of mind, I probably would've laughed at the situation.

Me coming out of the closet.

But instead, my knees buckle as my heart rips in half at the realization that this is all really happening. I actually left Elsa. I'm really going to die…And I don't know which though hurts worse. I catch myself on the doorframe, bringing a hand to my mouth as I try to hold in a sob.

Come on, Anna. Pull yourself together.

I stifle another sob, my other arm coming to wrap around my torso, feeling like it's the only thing keeping me together. The hollow feeling in my chest feels more like a black hole now.

Come on, Anna. You need to get moving. You don't have much time. I take a deep breath, using all my willpower to stand tall again. You know she's going to come looking for you. You can't let her find you.

Not now.

I quietly close the door, pausing to rest my forehead on the barrier, a single silent tear making its way down my face.

Be strong, Anna. You can do this.

I take another deep, shuddering breath, steeling myself as I turn to leave. I slowly walk through the house, ignoring the mess that Hans and his goons left. I wonder if he's watching the house. And if he is…I wonder if he'll come after me.

Not like it would matter anyways. I wouldn't tell him a thing. I mean, what's he going to do? Kill me?

Suddenly, I find myself standing in front of the door to the garage, not really remembering how I got there. I notice that there are several keys hanging on the wall and take one at random, before walking through the door.

I should feel bad about stealing one of Elsa's cars, but, in light of the situation, I don't think she'll really care. I push the alarm button and the Lamborghini lights up. Really? Now I have good luck? Fuck you, Fate.

I shrug into the car and drive off, speeding down the driveway before heading towards the city. I don't let myself think as I drive. Or feel. I just drive, numbness filling my mind and body. Eventually, I find myself parked by my apartment complex.

I slowly get out, and make my way to my apartment. As I reach the stairs, a thought makes me stop. I haven't been here for over three months. I haven't paid rent in over three months. I probably don't even have an apartment anymore.

I groan aloud in frustration, dragging a hand down my face. Maybe…maybe they haven't gotten rid of my stuff just yet. I mean, maybe, now that I don't have all that much time left, the Powers that Be will be kind enough to throw me a bone. Besides, all I really need is clothes and my emergency funds.

I reach my level, and walk up to my apartment, only to see remnants of police tape stuck to the door. What the fuck?…Well, I suppose I have been gone for a while…And knowing Punz and Kristoff, they probably filed a missing persons report.

Great. Just fucking great. As if I didn't have enough shit to deal with.

At the thought of my friends, my throat closes up, and I feel tears in my eyes. How the hell am I supposed to explain all of this to them? I mean, Elsa didn't even believe me, and she knows magic and shit is real.

But these guys? They'll think I've lost my fucking mind.

I shake my head, ridding myself of those thoughts. It's not important right now. I wipe at my eyes, sniffling as I kneel down and lift up my welcoming mat (at least they left something) looking for my spare key. It's still there.

Wow, with this luck I should try the lottery.

I pick up the key and unlock the door, praying that all my stuff is still here. Well…mostly the money I keep hidden behind my toilet. And my clothes. I would really like to wear jeans again. I couldn't care less about everything else right now.

I walk in, and sigh in relief when I realize that my apartment is exactly how I left it. Well, besides the fact that it's spotless. Who the hell cleaned?  It's then I notice something on the table. I walk over, and carefully pick up the note.

_Anna,_

_If you're reading this, it means you finally came home. And if you're home that means that you're safe, which makes me incredibly overjoyed. I don't know what the hell's been going on these last few months, or where you've been, but the only thing that matters right now is your safety. I bet you've noticed that your apartment is still here, even after you've been gone all this time. Well you can thank the gang for that. Jafar wanted to kick you out after the first month, but Kris, Sven, Merida and I all pitched in to pay your rent. And we will continue to do so until you come home. We also cleaned your apartment after the police tore it apart (I'll explain in person), because we care about you. Next to this note is a cell phone (I know you broke yours), and it has all of our numbers in it. After you read this note, please, please call one of us. I don't care who. Just…just let us know you're okay. But whatever you do, don't go to the police. Not until we've had a chance to talk. I…I really hope you get this message, Anna. We all miss you so much. I miss you._

_Please come home._

— _Rapunzel._

By the time I finish reading, I have tears falling down my cheeks. I…I never knew they cared that much. I mean, maybe Kristoff, but…the rest?

I put the paper down, and pick up the small flip phone that was next to it. I open it, and scroll through the contacts. Sure enough, there are four numbers. Kristoff, Sven, Merida, and Rapunzel.

Fuck!

Why does everyone have to make this so God damn hard! Why couldn't they just not care!? Ugh, okay, that's not fair. They're just being amazing friends. Gee, what bastards.

I sigh and scroll through the names again, finally deciding to dial Punz.

The phone barely rings once before she answers.  _"Anna?! Anna? Is that you?!"_

"U-um, yea. Yea, Punz. I-It's me. I'm okay."

She must have put the number into her phone with my name before leaving it for me in the apartment. The phone is silent for a moment before I hear soft sniffs.

"Punz…are-are you crying?" I ask, holding the phone with both hands now, wishing like heck I had just gone to see her instead. "Please don't cry."

I'm such a fucking jerk.

" _Y-Yeah,"_  she stammers a little.  _"Sorry, I just…wait a minute, no! I'm not sorry! Where the heck have you been, Anna?!"_

I begin to answer, not really sure what I plan on saying, but before I can, she cuts me off.

" _No, no, that's not really important,"_  she signs, and I can picture her running a hand through her blond locks. _"What matters is you're back, and you're safe. You_ are _safe…aren't you?"_

"Yes," I answer readily, wanting to allay any worries I can. "I'm fine, Punz. Really."

" _Okay,"_  she responds, puffing air out. _"Okay,"_ she repeats in a calmer tone.

"Okay," I nod, though she can't see me

I let her process things for a minute then say "I'm really sorry, Punz. I can't imagine what you must have been through these last few months. What you may have thought."

" _Why didn't you call?"_  she all but whispers.  _"Why didn't you call just once?"_

"I…"

" _Or leave a note? Where the hell did you go?"_

I sigh. "Punz, it's…kind of hard to explain."

It's silent for a moment before she responds.

" _I'm coming over."_

"W-what?" I sputter, though I don't really know why I'm surprised.

I mean, come on. It's Rapunzel. I should've expected this.

" _I said I'm coming over, Anna,"_  she says without missing a beat.  _"Stay right where you are, I'll be there in a minute."_

"W-wait, Punz, you don't have to do that, really," I say in an attempt to stop her. I can't look at her right now. It would hurt too much. "I'm fine, and, honestly, I just kind of want to be alone right now. It's…the last few days have been…taxing."

" _Taxing? Anna, the last few_ months _have been 'taxing'"_  she exclaims, and I can practically hear her air quote.  _"I mean seriously! First you show up at a hospital, beat to hell, with a billionaire whose been shot, with no explanation, then you—the both of you—just disappear into thin air! No note, no phone call! Nothing! Do you know how worried we all were!? And on top of that, the police have been looking for you, thinking you're the one who shot her in the first place—"_

"What?!" I exclaim cutting her off.

Rapunzel huffs.  _"Well, you knew you were a suspect, what the hell did you think was going to happen!?"_

I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Great. Just fucking great. As if things weren't bad enough, now I'm a wanted criminal."

" _Look, just…stay there, Anna. Please? I…I need to see you with my own two eyes, okay? And besides, we really should have this talk in person,"_  she pleads, and I let out another sigh.

I suppose she  _is_  right. And maybe…maybe it'll be good for me to see her again. At least this way I'll get to say goodbye.

I'm about to answer when I hear a knock on the door. I frown. That couldn't possibly be Rapunzel. I mean, the girl's fast, but not  _that_  fast. And no one else should know I'm here.

Unless…

" _Is that someone at the door?"_  Punz asks.

"Yeah; hold on. I'm just gonna take a peek at who it is."

_"Okay."_

I make my way to the door and peek through the peep hole. I gasp and step back, but it's too late. Just as I had put my eye to the door one of the men standing outside had been gunning for it with his shoulder. I lose my step and let out a startled scream when the door is busted open by one man and another takes bounding steps toward me.

" _Anna?!"_  I hear Punz yell.  _"What's happening?!"_

Before I can answer, the second man takes the phone forcefully into one of his giant hands, only to crush it.

"You're coming with us," he sneers, and picks me up by the collar, not bothering to let me gain my footing before dragging me out of the apartment.

 

*****line break*****

 

"Let me out of here!" I scream, pounding on the inside of a car trunk. "Let me out you Son of a Bitch!"

"Shut up back there!" I hear one of the men yell. "Before I make you shut it!"

"Fuck you!" I yell back as I continue to hit the barrier with my fists.

Suddenly, I feel the car come to an abrupt stop, throwing me against the side of the trunk.

"Ow," I mutter, rubbing my forehead in pain.

I hear two doors opening and closing, then I'm blinded by sunlight when the trunk opens without warning. One of the brutes reaches down and pulls me up by my collar until we are face to face.

"I said," he growls. "Shut up!"

"Make me," I snarl, before I spit in his face.

The man doesn't react at first. Then my head snaps to the side with the force of his slap, my cheek burning in pain. I gasp in pain, my vision blurring slightly as he forces me to look at him again.

"There's more where that came from if you don't shut your whore mouth," he threatens as the second man stuffs a rag in my mouth, covering it with tape so I can't spit it out, and ties my hands behind my back.

They stuff me back in my tiny prison despite my attempts to break free, and close me in. I struggle against my bonds, my screams now muffled against my gag, and I feel the car begin to move again. I let out a muted groan of frustration when I realize my attempts to escape are in vain. I stop struggling, deciding my only chance right now is to wait this out and see where these two assholes are taking me.

As I lie there, I feel my cheek start to throb in pain. Yup, that's definitely going to bruise. That fucker. I'm going to get him back for that, I fucking swear it.

After what feels like an eternity, the car finally stops again, this time much more gently. The trunk is once again opened without warning, and I'm pulled out roughly. Before I get a chance to look around, a sack is forced over my head, blocking out my vision. The rope around my hands is untied, but I don't try to fight. I know that'll only earn me a thorough beating.

"Move," I hear one of the men grunt, and I'm shoved forward.

I catch myself before I fall, and I feel two strong hands grip my forearms, leading me wherever it is we are going. I shuffle around blindly for a few moments, before I'm roughly thrown into a chair. The two men secure my hands and feet with straps on the legs and arms before removing the sack and pulling the rag out of my mouth. I cough a few times as the two brutes exit the small room I'm in, leaving me alone.

"Assholes," I mutter, pulling unsuccessfully against my restraints.

I'm only alone for a few moments before the door opens again. I look up, and my eyes narrow as I watch the person walk—no  _strut_ —into the room. I should've known.

"Hans," I growl, as he stops in front of me.

"Anna," he sneers, bending to look me in the eyes, his hands on his knees. "Long time no see. How've you been?"

I don't answer; I just glare at him.

He lets his face fall in mock hurt. "What, aren't you glad to see me?"

"Bite me," I spit.

Hans pauses for a moment, before he chuckles standing straight again.

"I see we aren't going to act out the pleasantries," he says as he circles me.

"Why am I here?" I snarl, ignoring him.

I'm not going to play his little game.

"Straight to the point I see," I hear him from somewhere behind me.

"Enough with the crap, Hans," I exclaim.

It's silent for a moment, before he walks around in front of me again.

"Do you really not know why you're here?" he leers, grabbing my chin and putting his face only a few inches from mine.

I yank my chin from his fingers, and continue to glare at him. "I'm not telling you a God damn thing."

"Oh, I don't know about that," he says cheerily, "After all, I can be  _quite_  persuasive when I want to be."

Man I wish I could wipe that smug look off his face.

"Fuck you," I say.

"This is how it's going to work," he says, ignoring my outburst. "I'm going to ask you a question, and you're going to answer said question."

"And if I don't?" I reply with as much snark as I can muster.

Anger flashes through Hans's eyes, and, for just a second, I'm fucking terrified.

But then it's gone, replaced by that mask of smugness. "Then I'll just have to…convince you to tell me."

He suddenly stands tall, clasping his hands together. "Now, shall we get started?"

I don't say anything as he squats down to my level.

"Where's Elsa?"

I just glare at him, hoping that maybe if I try hard enough, he'll burst into flames. Hans sighs, letting his head drop for a moment, before standing again. I yelp in pain when he suddenly lands a punch right on my nose, breaking it. Blood spurts out, and I feel tears in my eyes as I gasp in pain.

"Man," I hear through the fog of pain, "You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that. Thanks, Anna. Now let's try that again. Where's the key?"

"Go fuck yourself," I gasp savagely

This time, he places a punch to my abdomen.  I don't know how long things went on like this, but what I do know is that when he stops, I'm eternally grateful.

"Anna, Anna, Anna," Hans tsks "You know you're only doing this to yourself, right?"

My only response is to groan in pain. He sighs.

"Come on, Anna. You can tell me," he mocks.

"What're you gonna do if I don't," I finally say, looking him in the eyes. "Kill me?"

Hans chuckles humorously.

"As much as I would love to, no," he says, shoving his face a few inches from mine, "but I'll make you wish I had."

"Now, now, Hans, is that any way to treat our guest?" I hear, and my blood runs cold.

I know that voice. That's the voice of the man who…who killed me. Or, who killed Anna Bjorgman. Hans stiffens for a moment, before standing straight and turning towards the door.

"Sir," he greets the man with a bow—yes a freaking _bow_ —before stepping aside.

At first, the murderer stays by the door, so all I really see is his silhouette. But then he takes a step forward, bathing his face in the light. I gasp in recognition.

I mean, I've never met him in person, but I've seen enough paintings throughout the castle to know who he is. Standing in front of me is the one person I never expected to walk through that door.

Elsa's father.

"Adgar," I whisper in both horror and surprise, causing him to smile cruelly down at me.

"Hello, Anna."


	23. Chapter twenty two

Chapter 22

 

_Though I don't understand the meaning of love_

_I do not mind if I die trying_

_-"How"_

_Maroon 5_

 

Tense. That's how I'd describe this situation. Fucking tense. Hans shuffles back and forth, looking almost…uncomfortable, as Adgar and I each other stare down. Good.

I feel anger flooding my senses. The longer I stare at Adgar, the more pissed off I get. I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe it. Elsa's father—her  _father—_ is the one that killed me…well, the other me.

That Son of a Bitch.

Eventually the tension becomes too great, and I just  _have_  to say something. Then my inner snark beings to show.

"What, are you just gonna stand there all day?" I scoff.

He doesn't react.

"Come on," I push, letting the sarcasm flow through me, "don't you want to rough me up a bit? Sideburns over here missed a spot."

I hear Hans growl, and I smirk. That's right, Bitch. It takes a lot more to break me down. It's quiet for a few more moments before Adgar finally reacts.

With a smile.

Not a comforting, let's-all-be-friends-smile, no. This one is more like an I'm-going-to-make-you-wish-you-had-never-had-never-been-born smile. I gulp, fear filling my chest for the first time since being dragged here. Adgar walks into the room, hands behind his back, as he looks at me with mild curiosity.

"Amazing," he says, circling me. "You truly are still alive. I thought Hans was pulling my leg when he told me. After all, I've never seen someone last more than a few days after their counterpart died, and," he pauses to chuckle, "I've seen so _many_  people die."

I glare at him as he stands in front of me again.

"But you," he continues, ignoring my daggers, "you are like…well you're like a cockroach. No matter how hard I stomp you, you just won't die."

"What do you mean?" I spit, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Adgar looks at me, something…evil…glinting in his eye.

"What, you honestly think that throwing you off that ship was my first attempt to kill you, Anna?" he chuckles, "Come on, you really can't be that daft, can you? After all, who do you think told you to wake Elsa that night she struck you? Or, how about who was the one that convinced Hans that using, then killing you, was the only way to get the throne? I've been trying to rid myself of you since you were a little girl, Anna."

My ears feel hot, I'm so furious. He'd kill a little girl? A little girl?  _A little girl?!_   _A LITTLE GIRL?!_

"How?" is my curt response as I try to remain—at least somewhat—calm.

"Hmm, I suppose it wouldn't do too much harm to tell you, now would it?" he questions, stroking his mustache thoughtfully. "Wouldn't want you dying without at least knowing why. My gift to you."

He pulls another chair—one I hadn't noticed till now—over and sits in front of me.

"I suppose we'll start from the beginning, hmm?" he says. "You see, I was raised knowing about both worlds, and knowing about the evil of magic. I was told that I would be the one to give birth to the Snow Queens reincarnation, and I was told that it would be my job to guide her towards her true path. And when I came of age, I was given a relic that had been passed down for generations. One that would help me complete my task. A key."

I suck in a breath and he smiles.

"That's right, Anna. Little did I know, however, this key was part of a set, with the other hidden away, only to be made known to the Snow Queen herself. Something about allowing her to make her own choice, or some other pile of crap," he shakes his head as if disgusted. "But no matter. When I was still a young man, I used the key to travel between worlds, only to find myself face to face with, well, myself.

Imagine my surprise when I learned something the legend never mentioned. If a two halves of a soul meet face to face before the prophecy is complete, they will merge."

He scowls as he talks, and I can tell he is upset with the situation.

"Needless to say I was…unhappy…with the arrangement. At first. Then I realized that it gave me the advantage. You see, now that I was complete again, I knew that I was a King, and that I had a three year old daughter who, much to both my pleasure and distaste, had the ability to control snow and ice. I used my newfound knowledge to begin my work. I began to lead her towards her destiny, and all was going well, until you showed up," his expression darkens for a moment. "You were the daughter of one of the maids, and you made fast friends with Elsa. At first, I thought nothing of it. But then I heard you telling her things like her powers were a gift, and, well, we couldn't have that, now could we?"

I try—and fail—to hold back my growl as I grow angrier with each word.

"So," Adgar continues, as if nothing happened, "I arranged for you to be killed, and though that fell through, it still had the desired effect of keep Elsa away from you. At least, until you continued to sneak into the castle and pester her, that is. Though she never opened up to you, I had to sit back and watch her fall in love with you. A commoner. A pest. A  _woman,_ " he spits. "I knew if I didn't nip you in the bud, you would ruin all I had worked for. And then I found Hans, the lowly Prince of the Southern Isles, who only wanted to be better than his brothers. I used him to rid myself of you. I will admit, it was hard to convince him that using you to get to Elsa would work, but I did it, through a disguise of course. Unfortunately, your 'true love,'" he quotes the air, "saved you. And once again, Elsa was thrown off of her true path."

"That was when I decided I would have to rid the world of you myself. And that storm provided me with the  _perfect_  opportunity. After all, I knew you couldn't swim, and who would question it if the Princess Consort was thrown overboard by a wave?" he smiles cruelly.

Man I really want to hit him.

"Unluckily for me, the ship really did start to go down, and I only had a moment to escape. I used the key, and, while I made it safe and sound to this world, the key did not. It was lost at sea, along with you and the ship."

"That's why you needed the key from Elsa," I realize aloud, and he smirks.

"Very good, Anna," he mocks, then continues. "So, keyless, and stuck here, I knew I needed to find another way to keep an eye on my daughter. And that presented it's self in the form of this young man here," he gestures to Hans, who is still standing off to the side. "Since he grew up under the same…conditions…I did, I didn't have to explain anything when I used him to watch over Elsa. I must say, after I 'died,' she was quite willing to do anything I said."

Adgar stands, and begins to pace. "Everything was going as it should. But you," he shakes his head and chuckles humorlessly. "You just  _would not die_. Even after you're other half had been destroyed. You clung to life like some pathetic thorn in my side. And  _again_  you drew Elsa from her true purpose! And then I come to find that Hans was given instruction to kill  _my_ daughter without  _my_  permission," he takes a deep breath. "You can't imagine how angry I was."

He turns to me and smiles. "But none of that matters now. I have you here, right where I want you. And soon I will have Elsa too."

I'm so angry I can't see straight. That bastard. That fucking  _bastard!_

I fight to keep my breathing under control. I can't really afford all this energy. Hans may be a coward, punching a girl while she's tied up and defenseless, but his punches still landed square and I've been close to unconsciousness a few times already. Closing my eyes, I focus on taking slow breaths.

I have to think of something other than this; I have to distract myself. Anything. No, not anything.

I might die any moment and the other Anna had it right when she dedicated her last few precious moments of life thinking of Elsa. Happy thoughts. Elsa thoughts. That one day we spent in the castle together…

_Elsa wears a half smile meant only for me as she gazes into my eyes and tucks a few loose strands of my hair behind an ear for me._

_I smile back as I face her on our bed in the castle. "Why thank you," I tease._

" _Your face is kind of my favorite thing in this world. I wish to see all of it." Elsa says, letting her fingers gently trace their way down to my chin. It's warm, but I still shiver._

" _I'm sorry," Elsa's brows knit together with worry._

_Shaking my head, and still wearing a smile I laugh as I say, "It's all right. I…kind of like it."_

_One of Elsa's brows raises before a smirk takes to her lips. "Is that so?"_

" _Yes," I simply say, and lean into her touch._

" _I kind of like it too," Elsa says, glancing at my lips and tilting my chin up as she brings herself closer for a kiss._

"Don't fall asleep, now," Adgar interrupts, his voice dripping in bloodlust. "Now that I finally have you, I'm going to enjoy this. After all, the death of your soul's other half was rather anticlimactic for my taste. A few words exchanged and then she fell victim to the abyss. I'm not sure I can truly take credit for her demise. Yours, however, I'll be sure to complete myself."

I groan, more in complaint that he interrupted my happy thoughts than at his threat. I've accepted my death. It's coming no matter who delivers it—him or a piano falling from the sky. Even if he knew that, I imagine he'd still want the satisfaction of killing me himself. But why?

"Why do you hate me so much?" I voice my question aloud. "Am I really that much of a distraction to Elsa?"

Adgar narrows his eyes. "Elsa is the reincarnation of the Snow Queen. Her potential is all but limitless.  _You_ , however, have always been in her life and have therefore  _always_ been a distraction from her true purpose."

"I don't understand. She's following through with her 'true purpose.' She's going to merge the two worlds; she's chosen," I frown then grimace, because forming any sort of expression right now hurts like a bitch.

"That is not her true purpose. I can't have that," Adgar waves me off.

"What? Why?" I ask before a fit of coughing takes me.

Adgar waits until I finish before he answers. "Does it matter? You won't be around either way."

"So what's the harm in telling me?" I challenge.

He shrugs. "All right. It's rather simple: magic, especially magic as powerful as Elsa's has no place in either world."

"What are you talking about?" I ask. "How can you say that? You're her  _father_."

Adgar nods and frowns. "Yes, which is why this curse of hers has always broken my heart."

"It's not a curse! It's a gift! It's beautiful! How can you think it's a curse?!" I scream, unable to keep calm anymore. He can say whatever he likes about me and threaten me as much as he wants, but Elsa?

Nope. Not having it.

Adgar chuckles, but the sound lacks all mirth. "This is precisely why I must be rid of you, Anna. You've always fed her with those lies. The truth is, my little girl is sick, and when the world of magic is destroyed, she'll be cured. If I have to kill you for her to see that, so be it."

I close my eyes, and wait for the inevitable, but it never comes. What the hell?

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I snarl.

The lunatic smirks, as if he knows something I don't. "What, did you really expect me to kill you right now? No, no, dear girl, don't you see?" he leans in, grabbing my chin. "You're my best bargaining chip."

I rip my face from his hands, flinching in pain, before I narrow my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it, Anna. What is the most important thing to Elsa, other than her powers, of course?" he sneers, and I feel ice fill my veins.

Because the most important thing to Elsa is her wife…Is me. And I know she would do anything to save me.

"Shit," I curse, causing him to laugh.

"Exactly," he smirks. "You see, despite whatever…precautions I'm sure you took, you and I know Elsa  _will_  come looking for you. And when she arrives, I'll give her a choice. Magic. Or you."

"It won't work. Elsa's not that selfish," I say, despite the panic in my chest.

"It will if I tell her that doing so would save your life," he inserts smoothly, and my breath hitches. "Especially because I'm sure you told her that you're going to die."

Is…is that true? No. No it can't be true. And even if it is, I wouldn't let her give up everything just for me.

"You're lying," I growl, and he chuckles. "She won't believe you!"

"Are you so sure?" he replies smoothly. "I mean, you may be right about her selflessness, but is she really  _strong_  enough to lose you again? Not that it really matters, I'm going to kill you either way."

I want to say 'yes'. I want to believe that Elsa wouldn't sacrifice everything for some false hope that I'll be all right. But I know Elsa. I know she'll never give up her true love. Not again.

"That's what I thought," he says when I don't answer. "You know, Anna, you act as if I don't know my own daughter, but I assure you, I know her just a well, if not better, than you do. And despite what you might believe, I  _do_  love my daughter. I love her enough to rid her of her curse."

I'm about to retort when there's a knock at the door.

It opens, and one of the goons sticks his head in. "Sir?"

"What is it?" snaps Adgar, and the guard shrinks a little.

"Uh-hum, uh, Sir, the patrols just returned. They say the target has just stepped through the portal," he says, and Adgar nods his head once, dismissing the guard.

He then straightens up and address Hans for the first time since entering the room. "Boy!"

Hans jumps, before bowing again. "Yes Sir?"

"Have Miss Christiansen cleaned up and take her to one of our guest rooms. You will be coming with me, so you're men had better make sure she is presentable for when we return with my daughter."

Hans scowls slightly. "But Sir, how are they supposed to make her look presentable? She looks like she was hit by a truck!"

Adgar's expression turns dark, and both Hans and I shrink back. "Well then maybe you shouldn't have let your personal feelings have free rein. You should learn to control your temper, Boy. You're already on a short leash from your previous fuck up, so don't push it. If she doesn't look absolutely  _perfect_  by the time we return with Elsa, I will have your head. Understood?"

Hans frowns, but nods. "Yes Sir."

"Good. We can't have her looking like this when we offer her as a trade. Elsa would never have it," he says.

Then Adgar leaves the room without another word, Hans following behind him like a kicked puppy. As I watch them leave, I finally let all my anger out in one, long deep breath.

I think of Elsa. I need to think of Elsa. It's the only thing that helps me keep my head. I let my thoughts drift as I wait for whoever is coming to "clean me up," and again I'm pulled into a memory.

" _Anna. Anna!" Elsa screams out, thrashing in her sleep._

" _Elsa!" I exclaim, shaking her. "Elsa wake up!"_

_Elsa shoots up, tears running down her face as she looks around._

_It takes her a moment to realize that she's not dreaming anymore before she starts crying into her hands, snowflakes falling around us._

" _Shh, Els," I say as I pull her into my arms, running my hands through her hair. "It's okay. It was just a bad dream."_

" _I-It seemed s-so r-real," she cries, clinging to me like a life raft. "I-I w-watched you d-die, Anna…"_

" _Hey, I'm okay," I pull away to look in her eyes. "Jeg er her min lille snøfnugg. I'm right here, Elsa. I'm not going anywhere."_

_She sniffs, looking up at me with those big blue eyes. "You promise?" she asks in a small voice._

_I smile at her and pull her back into another embrace. "I promise."_

I'm drawn out of the memory by the sound of someone outside the door. Then it hits me. Elsa's here. In this world. And Adgar is coming for her.

This is bad. This is really bad. I need to warn her. I need to tell her that this is all just a trap. I need…I need…

I need to get out of here.

 


	24. chapter twenty three

Chapter 23

 

_I hate living without you_

_Dead wrong to ever doubt you_

_But demons lay in waiting_

_Tempting me away_

_-"Comatose"_

_Skillet_

 

I look up at the sound of the door opening, only to find Goon One and Goon Two waltzing in like they own the place.

"Hey guys! It's about time you joined the party!" I say sarcastically.

The two of them only grunt in response, as they move to undo my restraints. I want to struggle, to fight my way out, but truth be told? I'm hurting.

Hans really did a number on me, that ass-hat.

So instead of throwing a hissy fit that I'm bound to lose, I just let the two brutes grab me by my upper arms, and drag me out of the room. They take me to a small room with a hospital bed, and force me to sit on it before leaving me alone.

It's not for long.

Almost the second they leave, the door opens again to reveal yet another person that I never would have expected to be involved in this. And this one is even more painful to accept.

" _Gerda!?_ "

The older woman looks up at the sound of my voice, sadness in her eyes.

"Hello, dear," she says with a sad smile. "It's good to see you again, though I wish it were under different circumstances."

I gape at her as she walks over, a tray of medical supplies in her hands.

"How long?" I growl.

"Since the day you—or rather your other half—died. I was in Mr. Arendelle's room when he barreled through the portal. I thought he was going to kill me, but he decided that I was useful enough to keep me around. He forced me to swear secrecy, and used me to watch over his daughter," she responds, sounding almost…angry?

No. That can't be true. Can it?

She reaches me and sets the tray down on the bed, before she begins the tremendous task of cleaning up Hans's mess. At first, I flinch away from her, angry that, again, I was fooled by someone I should've been able to trust. But then she gives me her famous you'll-do-as-I-say-I-don't-care-if-you're-royalty look, and I give in.

What can I say? The woman was like a mother to me the last three months. That, and I'm really too tired to fight back.

It's silent for a moment as she wipes some of the blood off of my face. When she touches my nose, I wince.

"I'm going to need to set this," she says gently, and I nod in agreement, bracing myself.

Thinking she'll at least give me some warning, I am taken completely by surprise when she just reaches up and snaps it into place before I have time to realize what happened.

"Son of a  _bitch!_ " I curse, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Sorry, but it hurts less if—"

"If you don't expect it, yeah I know," I finish for her, as the pain dissipates, feeling sorrier than ever for having broken Elsa's nose when we first 'met'.

I look up at her, and before I can help myself I ask "Why?"

Gerda looks at me sadly, knowing what I mean without asking.

"Because he has my husband," she says softly as she continues to work on my face. "Believe me when I say I don't want to do this. Elsa is like a daughter to me. But I can't lose Kai. He's my whole world."

I don't respond. I have nothing to say. How can I judge this woman for protecting her love the only way she knows how, when I did the same thing not even twenty-four hours ago? It's silent for a few more minutes before I speak again.

"Gerda," I say, "You have to help me get out of here."

She shakes her head rapidly. "I can't. They'll kill him."

"Gerda, please," I beg, taking her hands in mine. "They're going to kill millions of people."

The older woman looks at the ground, not saying a word.

"Gerda," I try again, ducking to meet her eyes. "I know the thought of losing someone you love is the most horrible thing anyone could ask of you, believe me, but sometimes you have to put those feeling aside and do what's right," I feel a slight pressure in my chest, as my own words ring through my head. "Please help me. I know you don't know me that well, but I know you. And I know you can't just sit back while millions of innocent people die."

Gerda finally looks up to meet my gaze, tears in her eyes.

"I can't. I'm sorry," she gasps, before running out the door, ignoring my calls for her to come back.

"Damn it!" I yell, hitting the bed with my fist.

I lay back, groaning in pain from my many injuries already purpling my skin with bruises. I think about everyone I know in Arendelle. Olaf, Kristoff, Sven, Gerda, Kai, Rapunzel, Snow, even Hans…and Elsa. My Elsa. I feel tears well up in my eyes.

I've failed them.

They're all going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it. Because I'm weak. Because I can't even convince one woman to help me out of here so I can warn Elsa. A single tear rolls down my cheek.

I regret leaving. I should've just stayed with her. If I had been stronger none of this would have happened. This is all my fault. All my friends, they're going to die, and it's all my fault. I would give anything to make this right.

"I'm sorry," I murmur to the air.

I slowly feel myself drifting off as my thoughts continue to torment me. Eventually, they are silenced by my dreamless slumber.

 

*****line break*****

 

When I wake, I feel surprisingly better. I sit up, and stretch, only to realize that I'm butt-ass naked except for the few bandages littering my body.

"What the fuck?" I squeal in surprise, grabbing the blanket off the bed to cover myself.

I must have been more exhausted than I thought. I don't remember undressing or being undressed. And that really freaks me out. But it doesn't seem that whoever undressed me took any…liberties. In fact, it seems that they actually helped, if the bandages are anything to go by.

After a moment, I assume that Gerda must have come back to finish cleaning me up while I slept. I wonder how long I was out.

Now slightly less panicked, I look around the room for my dress, only to spot a pile of clean clothes folded at the foot of the bed. Not wanting to look a gifted horse in the mouth, I quickly dress, sighing in relief, because thank the gods, there's a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  Man, did I miss wearing pants.

After I'm fully clothed, I begin stretching, taking a quick catalog of my injuries. I'm pleased to find that, besides my nose, nothing seems to be broken. I'm mostly just covered in bruises and small cuts. Satisfied with my self-diagnosis, I walk over to the door, and jiggle the handle gently so that they won't know I've woken up.

Of course; why did I expect any different? I sigh, and take another look around the room when a thought hits me. If I'm still in this room, that means that Adgar and Hans aren't back yet. Which means they don't have Elsa. Which means there's still hope.

With that last thought, I begin searching the room for something—anything—that that can help me get out of this damn room. After a few moments, I huff in defeat. Nothing. There's absolutely nothing. Not even a stray bobby pin—

I freeze.

No. No that's too easy. There's no way they didn't think to take it. Trying not to get my hopes up, I slowly reach up to my hair, praying that they weren't smart enough to check. I almost cry when my fingers find the small piece of metal lodged in my hair. I kiss it like the god-send it is, before jumping up, and running over to the door.

"All right," I whisper to myself as I drop to my knees in front of the lock. "Just like Elsa showed you. Niiiice and easy."

I hold my breath as I insert the pin into the lock, and jiggle it around as I try to hit the correct tumblers. After a few tense seconds, I hear a soft  _click_  and the door cracks open. I let out a relieved laugh. I did it! I actually did it! I smirk. I'm going to owe Elsa a big, fat kiss for that.

I quickly stand, thanking whatever gods there are that I convinced Elsa to teach me. I stow the bobby pin back in my hair—if they didn't look there last time, they probably won't again.

I push the door open with only the pressure of my forefinger to slowly open to door so I can assess the situation. I peer down the hallway cautiously and find it completely empty. Weird. I guess they weren't expecting me to actually escape.

As quietly as I can, I walk down the hall, hoping beyond hope that I'm going the right way. Then I hear a voice from behind me.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing!?"

I turn and see Goon One glaring at me, a pistol in his hand. Shit. So much for my good luck.

"Get back to your room, little girl. The boss would really hate it if I had to shoot you," he says as he points the gun at me.

I raise my hands in surrender, not too keen on being shot, as I try to think of some way to get out of this. Nothing comes to mind. I'm just about to do as the brute says when a shot rings out, causing me to drop, covering my head with my hands over my ears.

It takes me a second to realize that the man wasn't the one to fire, but I do when he falls over, a bullet hole in his back. And standing behind him, gun shaking in her hands, is Gerda.

"Come on," she says, walking over to me, and pulling on my hand. "Someone's bound to have heard that. We need to get you out of here."

I halt, completely frozen to know that this sweet woman has just killed someone. They've turned her into a murderer.

"Anna," she says, insistently, "we have to go."

And I'm going to make them pay for it, I decide, narrowing my eyes with determination.

"Thank you," I say, causing her to pause, before giving me a small smile and patting my cheek.

"You were right. I can't just stand by anymore. And I know Kai wouldn't want me to," she bends down, grabbing the goons gun, and hands it to me. "Now come on."

I take the gun, and follow her without complaint. She leads me through the maze of hallways, helping me to avoid guards that I no doubt would've run into if I was on my own.

"We're almost there," she huffs, as we bypass yet another guard.

I nod, surprised that we are actually going to make it out of here relatively unscathed. But it would seem that I had spoken too soon. Just as Gerda says we're near the exit, an alarm sounds, and about a dozen guards appear in right in our path.

"Shit," Gerda curses, and forces me into a room just as they begin to open fire.

She slams the door shut then locks it.

"Gerda, what're we going to do?" I pant. "They've cornered us, and cut off our only—"

My voice catches in my throat as the older woman turns around, and moves her hand away from the patch of blood over her abdomen. Shit!

She'll drown in her own blood, I realize, my nursing knowledge smacking me with the unwelcome thought.

She collapses.

"Gerda!" I exclaim, rushing over to her side. "No, no, no, no, no."

I immediately begin putting pressure on the wound, causing her to groan in pain.

"Anna," she rasps, forcing me to look at her. "Anna, leave it. You—" she groans again, "you h-have to get out of h-here. You have to warn Elsa."

"No," I cry, tears filling my eyes. "No, I'm not leaving you!"

"Yes," she says sternly. "You are. I'm dead either way, and I'm not letting you die too."

She places a hand on my cheek, and I cover it with my own, tears falling down my face.

"I'm sorry," I cry, but she shushes me.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Child. I made my own choices," she says gently, and I only cry harder, because I should be the one comforting her, not the other way around.

"Now you listen to me," she says, a sudden fierceness in her eyes. "There is a vent that leads outside, just there," she points to a spot in the ceiling. "You are going to leave me here, and you are going to use it to escape while I distract them."

"Gerda—" I cry, but she stops me with a raise of her hand.

"You  _are_  going to do this, Anna. Do you understand?"

I hold back a sob as I nod my head, knowing that nothing I say or do is going to change anything.

"Good," she smiles softly. "Help me stand."

I do as she asks, leaning her against the wall by the door. I give her one last hug, wishing that there was even one small thing that I could do for her. Then I think of something—of what I would want on my deathbed.

"If I see him again, would you like me to give Kai a message?"

Gerda smiles at me. "Tell him I love him. He knows, but he should hear it one more time."

I nod, more tears making their way down my face.

"Shh," coos Gerda, as I wipe my eyes. "No more tears. It'll be okay."

I sniff, and nod, unable to form words.

"I'm glad to have met you, Anna," she says gently. "Now go. And don't look back."

I try to hold back my sobs as I climb into the vent, replacing the cover to hide my tracks. This is all my fault. I was weak, and now…now it feels like I've lost my mother for the second time. Only this is worse, because I could've avoided it. I was selfish, and now she's paying the price.

I crawl the way Gerda pointed, tears blurring my vision as I force myself not to go or look back. After a few feet, I hear several gun shots from behind me, a moment of silence, and then a single, solitary shot. I bite my knuckles, letting out a low, keening whine.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, forcing myself forward, through my tears.

I'm so sorry.

 

*****line break*****

 

After several terse minutes of crawling through filth, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Literally. I cautiously poke my head out, only to see a bright blue sky, and a two story drop to the ground.

I scan the area, and pick out four armed guards running around like a chicken with its head cut off, probably looking for me. I wait until they move out of sight, before I carefully maneuver myself so I'm hanging from my fingertips.

"Okay," I ready myself. "Just drop and roll. You can do this."

I take a deep breath then release. The impact jars my ankles, and instead of rolling, I fall ungracefully back on my ass, grinding my teeth as I wait for the pain to pass. I stand unsteadily, thinking how lucky I am that I didn't break anything.

Then I look around, and realize that I'm in the middle of a group of empty warehouses. Before I can place just exactly where I am, I hear shouting, and turn to see two men running after me.

"Shit!" I curse, and take off running towards the street.

I hear several gunshots ring out, but I don't stop. I need to get somewhere safe. I don't know why, but I immediately think of Kristoff. I need to get to Kristoff's. I'll be safe there. The thought helps me speed up, putting more distance between me and my assailants.

By now my adrenaline is pumping like crazy. I pant hard, but I don't stop, knowing that the road is close, and I thinking they won't pursue me in the open. I hear another shot, and there's a sharp pain in my hip, but I ignore it, breaking out onto the street.

I keep running, ignoring the dirty looks I get as I try to put as much distance between me and the two men as possible. And just as I suspected, the second I hit the street, they pull back. After another moment, I finally stop, leaning up against a wall as I heave in air to catch my breath.

I made it. I look around, noticing that I'm too far from Kristoff's to walk. I'll need a cab. I push myself from the wall, and run out, calling for one. It doesn't take long before a yellow taxi pulls over, and I hop in.

"Where to, Miss?" the cabby asks.

I give him the address of the street a few blocks from Kristoff's apartment. Gotta be sure I'm not followed.

"And step on it," I growl.

"You got it, Miss," he says, peeling out into the street, earning several honks.

The ride is relatively short, and before I know it he's pulling over.

"That'll be $28.50, Miss," says the cabby, turning to me.

I ignore him, and jump out, taking off down the street.

"Sorry!" I call out over his curses as I turn the corner.

A few short moments later, I'm standing in front of Kristoff's door. I knock several times, looking over my shoulder in paranoia. My adrenaline rush finally starts to wear off, and now I just feel tired. And my hip is  _really_  starting to hurt. Like damn, what the hell?

I reach down, and feel wetness on my hip. I bring my hand to eyelevel, and notice it's covered in blood. I begin to feel woozy as I realize what that means. Just then the door opens, revealing a disgruntled Kristoff.

"What the hell—" he starts, before his eyes go wide and his jaw goes slack.  _"Anna!?"_

I try to respond, but my eyes flutter, and suddenly the floor is coming up to meet me. I hear Kristoff call out my name, and feel him catch me.

Then I black out.

 

*****line break*****

 

I wake to the feeling of a cold rag on my forehead. I slowly open my eyes, only to see familiar green ones look back.

"Rapunzel?" I croak, trying to sit up. "What're you doing here? What's going on?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she soothes me, pushing me back onto Kristoff's couch. "Relax. Kristoff called me. You've been shot, but you're safe."

I let her push me down, and I lay back, closing my eyes.

"Anna," Rapunzel says, and I crack open one eye. "What the hell happened? One moment you're talking on the phone, and then there's this loud band, and then the phone goes dead, and suddenly you show up here, looking like you've been through a meat grinder, with a bullet in your hip!"

At the mention of said bullet, I feel a sharp pain shoot up my side, and it takes all my willpower to not scream out in pain. I was right all those months ago. Getting shot fucking  _hurts._

I look down, only to see my shirt soaked through, and a gauze pad pressed firmly over my wound. Rapunzel's face pales when she notices my pain.

"Kristoff! Kristoff get in here!" she calls out, her voice raising a few octaves in her panic.

When the blonde enters the room, Rapunzel immediately runs up to him.

"Kristoff, we need to get her to a hospital. Now," she demands.

"No!" I shout, sitting up, only to realize what a terrible mistake that was. I fall back to the couch, groaning in pain.

"Anna, you're going to a hospital," says Kristoff sternly. "I'm not going to let you bleed out on my couch!"

"N-no," I pant, "N-no hospitals. Not s-safe."

"What the hell does that mean?!" he exclaims, throwing his hands up.

I take a second to collect myself before I answer.

"Look," I say, finally managing to sit up. "There are some really bad people after me, and if I go to a hospital, they'll find me."

"Who's after you?" presses Rapunzel.

I shake my head.

"Come on, Anna," she says, kneeling next to me and taking my hand. "You can tell us."

I let out a shaky laugh. "You wouldn't believe me if I did."

"Please, Anna?" When I don't respond, she sighs. "At least let us help you?"

I look up at her, noticing for the first time that she no longer has her long blonde hair and is instead sporting a short brunette cut. It fits her well. I let out a sigh, running a hand over my face.

"All right," I say after a moment. "If you really want to help, then I need you to help me find Elsa."

Of all the responses I had expected, anger was not one of them.

" _Her_!?" screeches Rapunzel. "You want to find  _her_!? She's the reason you're in this predicament in the first place!"

I resist telling the brunette that I probably would've been a part of this no matter what. It doesn't really matter at the moment.

"Yes, Punz," I respond calmly. "I need to find her. It's important."

The smaller girl huffs, crossing her arms. "I don't know, Anna."

"Please?" I try. "She's in danger. The people that are after me are after her too, and I can't let her get hurt."

She looks at me, shaking her head in exasperation. "Why?"

I don't need the girl thinking I'm loopy from blood loss. Instead of telling her the real reason, I give her one she'll actually believe.

"Because I love her," I say, a warm feeling in my chest from actually telling someone.

Rapunzel and Kristoff look shocked for a moment before understanding floods their faces.

"That's why you went with her to…wherever it is you guys went," says Rapunzel, and I nod, not wanting to explain anything.

"Okay," she says, after a moment. "Okay, well then, I guess we're going to have to find her then."

"What?!" Kristoff squeaks, clearly taken aback, "I thought we were taking her to a hospital!"

"And we can do that once we find her girlfriend," retorts Rapunzel, and I have to physical stop myself from correcting her to say 'wife'.

Boy would  _that_  be fun to explain.

Kristoff sighs, raking a hand through his hair, before conceding.

"Okay, fine," he says, "but as soon as we do, you're going to the hospital, no if's, and's, or but's, understand?"

I nod my head in agreement, not wanting to waste any more time that could be used looking for Elsa.

"Good," he huffs. "Now, where do we start?"

 

*****line break*****

 

After taking half a pain-killer to quell my pain, but not put me to sleep, and changing my bandages according to my standards, the three of us pile into Kristoff's pick-up.

"All right, Anna," he says as he starts the car. "Where to?"

I pause to think. The last place I know Elsa was at was her house. But that was hours ago, and there's no way she'd stay there. Maybe she's at my apartment? I mean, if she's looking for me, wouldn't that be the first place she'd look?

I decide that that's the place to start, but before I can tell the blonde, I hear a small voice in my head.

_Light post_.

What the hell?

_Light…post…_ it says, getting weaker by the second… _light…post…._

What does that mean? Then it hits me. The light post where I first ran into Elsa. I don't know why, but I know she's there. I can feel it. Not giving the little voice another thought, I tell Kristoff and he takes off.

As we drive, I think about what I'm going to say to Elsa with 'sorry' being the first thing on the list. Not that I'd expect her to forgive me. I mean, would I? But even if she hates me for the rest of her life, I'll gladly accept that if it means she's safe.

It's not long before we turn onto the correct street, and I feel my eyes water when I see a familiar head of platinum hair. The second I see her, relief fills my every pore. I know it's only been a little over a day, but it feels like it's been years since I last saw her.

"Stop the truck," I tell Kristoff.

He looks at me concerned. "I can get closer if you wa—"

He stops when I glare at him.

"Stop. The. Truck."

The blonde does as he's told, and I haphazardly climb out of the truck, and begin limping over the blonde that's only a few hundred feet away. Elsa isn't looking in my direction, so she doesn't notice me coming.

"Elsa!" I call out to her.

Even from here, I can hear the snap of her neck as it swivels around.

"Anna?" she says so softly, I almost don't hear it.

Then she's running to me. I limp as fast as I can, ignoring the shooting pain in my side, until we are just a few feet away. Then I stop and let her close the distance. Elsa runs right up to me, and engulfs me in her arms.

"Anna! You're okay," she exclaims, and I pull back to look at her.

I try to speak, but I'm interrupted by soft lips on mine. It amazes me that even here, in the midst of danger and a bullet in me, that her kiss can still make my mind go blank—that nothing else in existence matters. She pulls back after a moment, and it takes me a few seconds to gather my thoughts.

"Elsa," I say, grabbing her hands before she has a chance to speak. "You're in danger. We need to get you out of here."

She looks at me confused, and is about to speak, when suddenly there's a bright light interrupting us. We both look up, and it's like the world is moving in slow motion. I see the car speeding at us. I know there's no way to get both of us out of the way. My body begins moving on its own, and, with all my strength, I push Elsa off to the side and to safety.

Then I look up just in time to watch the car smash into me.

" _Anna! NO!"_

 

*****line break*****

 

Everything hurts. My legs. My chest. My arms. My head. Everything. And not a sore kind of hurt. No, this is like a bone-crushing, gut-wrenching hurt. And it won't stop. I groan as tears fall from my eyes, and I whimper involuntarily, wishing the pain would go away.

"S-she's waking up!" I hear someone say. "Kristoff, she's waking up!"

I know that voice. It's the voice of someone important to me. I strain to think of who it is, but it evades me. I groan again at the sudden spike of pain in my lower back.

"Hang on, Anna," the voice says, wavering a bit. "J-just hang on. Help is coming."

I feel a cool hand on my face, stroking my cheek. Then it hits me.

The voice belongs to Elsa. My Elsa.

The realization gives me enough strength to open my eyes. And the first thing I see is her.

"E-els…a" I stammer, gasping in pain.

She's so beautiful.

"Shh," she says softly, tears running down her face. "D-don't…don't talk. It's going to be okay."

Why is she crying? She shouldn't be crying. She should never have to cry. I furrow my brow, and achingly reach up to cup her cheek. She immediately leans into my touch, her hand coming up to cover mine.

"D-don't…cry…" I force out, using my thumb to wipe away her tears.

Elsa only bows her head, more tears escaping from her eyes as she lets out a soft sob.

The pain in my body begins to muddle my thoughts more, and I have to fight to stay awake. There was something…something I needed to tell Elsa. Something she…needs to know. Before I die. I grasp at the thought, finally realizing what it is I want to say.

"Els...a" I gasp out, and she looks up, clutching my hand like a life raft. "I-I'm…s-sor—"

"No," she cuts me off fiercely. "No, you don't get to do that, Anna. You don't get to say goodbye. You're not going anywhere."

I look at her, a sad smile on my lips as I caress her cheek. She shakes her head, more tears falling down her face.

"No!" she says, her voice breaking. "I'm not going to lose you, Anna! Not again." She let out a pained gasp. "I  _can't_  lose you again. I love you too much."

Now it's my turn to let out a few tears. Because I know that no matter what, I'm not making it out of this alive. I begin to tell her I love her too, when I feel darkness begin to surround me.

No! Not yet! I haven't told her I love her yet!

The darkness doesn't stop at my pleading. It only comes faster. Knowing what's coming, I look into Elsa's eyes, and try to gasp out my final words.

"E-Elsa…I—" but it's too late.

The darkness fully surrounds me, and I feel my hand go slack in hers.

"Anna?" I hear from far away. "Anna!  _Anna!_ "

I'm sorry Elsa.

I love you.

And then I know no more.


	25. Chapter twenty four

Chapter 24

 

_You know that I love you so I_

_Love you enough to let you go_

_-"Already Gone"_

_Kelly Clarkson_

 

Whoa! Head rush! Well…I uh, I guess that's everything… I hope I didn't freak you out too much. I know it's a lot to take in. Believe me, I know.

But, that's my story.

You see now why I needed to show you? I mean, if I had just said "there's this parallel reality that's in danger and you need to help my girlfriend who controls ice and snow save it," you probably would've thought I was crazy. I mean, hell,  _I_  still think I'm crazy sometimes.

If only it were that simple.

So now comes the part where I ask you for a favor. Yeah, a favor aside from telling Elsa that her father is a pscho magic-ist asshole and that Hans (who shall from hence forth be known 'Sideburns Dickface McButt') was just a pawn.

I need you to tell her what I never was able to—that I love her. I love her with everything I ever was and everything I am. I love—

"Anna."

Did you hear that?

"Anna, gods, please just wake up. For me, Anna."

That's…that's Elsa. I can hear her! Gods, I would, Elsa, if I could.

"Okay, maybe you need a little encouragement," Elsa sniffs.

She's…she's leaning down to kiss me. If only true love's kiss was what I needed to wake up right now. I'm too broken.

I wish I could feel that. What the hell? What's with the selective sensory system, body? Seriously. I mean, I can hear her, and see her, but I can't feel her kisses? So not cool.

Oh, uh-hum, sorry I kinda forgot you were there for a second. My bad.

But as I was saying, I need you to tell Elsa just how much she means to me. I know we had our rough spots, but I wouldn't change anything we had together for the world. And…and I need you to watch over her for me.

I know you don't really know her, and I'm sure she won't let a stranger in that easily, but she needs someone to be there for her. Someone who knows what happened. Who knows what she's going through. Because I can't be there for her.

I just…I wish I didn't have to go. I know, I know, I said that I'd accepted my fate. But accepting and wanting are two different things. And believe me, I  _do not_  want to die. I didn't even want to accept the fact until, well, until right before I started talking to you. But when you're in a coma, you have a lot of time to think.

And boy have I had time.

I've been in this stupid hospital bed, filled with tubes and wires and shit for about a week. I only 'woke up' a few days ago, and have been stuck just… thinking. And watching.

It's kind of weird. it's like I'm standing here next to my body, but I'm not. It's really hard to explain, but…it's almost like I'm already a ghost. Wait, no, what is it they call it? Astral projection?

Yeah, that's it.

And it allows me to watch everything that happens in my room, even without opening my eyes. Don't ask me how I'm doing it other than that, because I really have no clue.

But, as I said, I've done a lot of watching.

I've watched the doctors come in to check my vitals, and the nurses come in to change my bandages. I've watched Kristoff, Rapunzel, Sven, and all my other friends visit and talk to me, even caught pieces of their one-sided conversations.

And I've watched Elsa.

She never leaves, you know. And I don't think she's had more than a few hours' sleep since I've been here. She has so much hope that I'll wake up, even though I know, deep down, she knows I won't. She cries a lot. And every tear breaks my heart.

Kristoff and Punz have tried comforting her, but I don't think it's working. And I know why. I mean, if I had to sit back and watch helplessly while Elsa lay dying, I'd be inconsolable too.

I really worry about her. I'm afraid…I'm afraid that she won't be able to make it past this. I know how hard it was for her to lose me the first time, and now she has to do it again. God I just—

Wait…D…do you hear that?

Is she… _singing_?

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."

Oh my God, she's totally singing.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey."

Damn it, Elsa.

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you."

Please stop. You  _know_  I hate that song.

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

Ughhhh!

Elsa chuckles, wiping a tear away. "I know you hate that song, but I'm willing to try anything at this point to get you to wake up, even sing a song you'll hate, because…" Elsa sniffs again. "If you're in there somewhere, maybe you'll wake up just to shut me up," she chuckles to herself again and wipes her nose with a tissue. "Gods, I'm pathetic. Why am I even talking aloud? For all I know you have no idea what's been happening this week."

I'm sorry, Elsa. I'm sorry. I wish I could wake up.

"Okay…" Elsa breathes out a sigh. "So my guilt trip didn't work, neither did the annoying song, so how about a confession?" she asks, coughing awkwardly.

If I could, I'd furrow my brows in confusion…so yeah, just pretend that's what I'm doing. And, hey! Follow along, okay? You're all caught up, so just pay attention.

Elsa straightens as if she were the President or something, and readying herself to give a particularly humbling speech on national television. "I love you. And I mean,  _you_ , Anna Christiansen. I know you felt like a replacement at times, and I'm sorry when I did act that way, but I love you. Your soul's other half…I loved her too, but…I've never admitted this, because I feel terrible about it, but…I think she was…well the person I needed to love on my way to you. She and I grew up together as soon as I could travel between both worlds. We had a special bond and we were best friends. But when I met you, I felt something I've never felt before. You made me want to do ridiculous things just to make you laugh, you made me want to steal you away almost every second I spent with you. And the more I grew to know  _you_ the more I realized this half of my wife's soul was the one meant for me."

She pauses to wipe a tear from her cheek.

" _Please_  wake up, Anna. I need you. I know what you told me, but…but I won't believe it. You're not going to die. I know you're too damn stubborn for that. Just…just please don't leave me alone again."

Damn it. Just…why does she have to tell me this now? It's not helping anyone. If anything, it just makes this so much harder.

You know what, I'm just…I'm going to tune her out for this. I can't listen to her say things like that while I'm asking you to tell her goodbye for me.

So…will you do it? Say goodbye for me? And take care of her? Even if— _when—_ she pushes you away? I know it's a lot to ask, but…you're really my last option at this point, ya know?

You will? Thank God. Wait, no, Thank  _you_. If I could give you a hug right now, I would.

…well, with that settled, I guess…I guess it's time for me to go. I've been fighting to stay long enough to tell Elsa…well you know. But it's so hard, and I'm just so  _so_ tired.

You know that bright light that everyone always talks about? Well, it's real. And it looks really,  _really_  soft. And warm. And…it's been really hard to resist it. And it just keeps getting brighter. I mean, right now it's almost like looking into the sun.

I think…I think it's time I went to it.

After all, it's what the Powers that Be want, so I know there's no getting out of it. Might as well get it over with. I'll be sure to put in a good word for you upstairs.

And…I love you Elsa, more than you'll ever know. I'll be sure to look in on you from time to time, but until then…


	26. Chapter twenty five

Chapter 25

 

_Wake me up inside (I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside (Save me)_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_-"Bring me to Life"_

_Evanescence_

I open my eyes, and all I see is white. That's the only way to explain it. White.

…

I think I got gypped.

Like, seriously, what the hell? Is heaven really that cliché? I guess so.

I shake my head, and stand, only to realize that, once again, I'm completely naked. But, you know what? I don't really care.

I stretch, feeling better than I have in years. Then, since I have nothing better to do, I start to walk around. At first it seems like I'm not going anywhere. But the more I walk, the more I see that it's not an endless expanse of white. It's more like a giant white room. And if there's a room, that means there must be a door, right?

Now having a purpose, I start walking in a single direction. I mean, if I walk in a straight line, I'm bound to hit a wall at some point, right? And it's not like I don't have time or anything. So I walk. And walk. And walk. Eventually, I start to get annoyed. And then frustrated. But just before I get angry, I hear something.

Almost like…someone calling out to me.

"…Anna…"

What the hell?

"...Anna…"

Where the hell is that coming from? I pause to listen closer. I nearly jump when the voice sounds right next to my ear.

"Anna."

"Holy shit!" I exclaim, spinning around to see who, or what, is behind me.

And I have to say I'm just a  _little_  surprised to see who it is.

" _Anna?!_ " I shout, then in a stunned whisper "Princess…Consort?"

The other me smiles at me.

I poke her.

She frowns slightly as she laughs at being tickled.

I poke her again.

She laughs again then yells "Hey! Stop that!" swatting my hand away.

"Oops! Heh, sorry," I say, rubbing the back of my neck in awkwardness.

"Hello, Anna. It's good to finally meet to you person," she says.

I gape at her. My eye twitches. This is too weird. Then I realize something.

"Ahh!" I scream, covering myself.

"Wha-what?!" Anna raises her hands in karate-chopping ready stance.

"I'm naked!" I yell, still trying to cover myself.

"Oh!" Anna laughs. "Not anymore."

I look down to see myself in jeans and a grey t-shirt.

"I think I need to sit down," I say after a moment.

Anna laughs lightly at me. "Yeah, I know the feeling. This is…pretty weird, huh?"

"You can say that again," I agree.

She chuckles, before the two of us stand awkwardly for a moment.

"So," she says, breaking the silence. "I bet you're wondering where you are?"

"Um, yeah, I guess," I say slowly. "I mean, I kinda just figured I was in heaven."

Anna smiles at me sadly. "No. Unfortunately you're not. Not yet, anyways."

I look at her confused.

"Why not? I never did anything heinous or anything. I mean, there was that one time I—"

"Uh-chm, well," Anna interrupts. "I kind of, sorta, pulled you into this room before you could go," she says, chuckling nervously. "It's kind of like a…well if I'm being honest here, it's purgatory."

"What?!" I exclaim. "You pulled me into purgatory?! Why the hell would you do something like that?! What, you want Heaven all to yourself?! Don't wanna share a cloud with me?! What's the deal?!"

"I needed to talk to you; before you passed on completely," she says seriously, not at all offended by my tone.

"Oh," I say, deflating somewhat. "Well, what's so important that you had to pull me into this place to talk to me?"

"Elsa," she says simply. "I need to talk to you about Elsa. I know you sacrificed yourself to save her, and I'm really very grateful to you for that."

"O-oh, um, yeah. No problem," I mumble nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

"So…," she continues a bit awkwardly. "I know what she needs to merge the two worlds."

My brows shoot straight to the ceiling. "You do?!"

She nods.

"Well, shit. We're both dead. We can't exactly tell her even if you do know," I frown, pondering the situation.

"That's mainly what I need to talk to you about," she says, clearing her throat. "I think you should go back."

I raise a brow at her—Elsa would be proud that I've finally mastered that quirk of hers. "Look, I don't know how the whole magic-world-death thing works, but from sciency-science land when you die, you're dead. No going back. You're done! Finito! Dead!"

Anna giggles and we both sit on white chairs that are suddenly available. "This is serious! Stop making me laugh. This must have been how Elsa felt," she chuckles.

"Yeah," I laugh with her, understanding.

"Chm," she clears her throat and becomes serious once more. "You  _can_ go back."

"How?" I ask.

I won't lie—if I can? I definitely want to go back.

"Why haven't you gone back then?" I ask, puzzled.

I mean, if people could just chose to keep living, to go back, there'd probably be a lot more miracles popping up everywhere.

Anna shakes her head. "I'm too weak. I've been gone too long, and…" she pauses, looking down. "That would have meant sacrificing the other half of my soul…you."

I frown. "Well…I mean…I'm already dead. So…why don't you just go back now?"

"As I've said," she continues, waving the comment off. "I've become too weak. I've been keeping you alive as long as I could, sending you messages, guiding your path. That takes pieces of you away."

I swallow, disbelieving that she would do that for me. I know we're two halves to the same soul and everything, but we're still strangers.

"Why?" I ask.

"I had selfish reasons," she began and sighed. "I love Elsa. I couldn't let her be swayed by that…man."

I can practically feel the hatred for Agdar boiling from inside her, out. Actually, I can feel it. That ass-fuck.

"That's not really selfish," I argue.

"We are two halves of the same whole, you and I," she stares into a non-existent distance. "You know that's not true," she returns a knowing gaze to me. "Acting selflessly for one's love isn't truly selfless. We do it because to us, they matter more than anything else in any universe."

I scratch my head. In a way I see her point.

"Anyway," she starts again. " _You,_ however, are not too weak and I have just barely enough pieces left of me to be absorbed by you and send you back."

"But," I tilt my head, not really catching on. "Then what happens to you?"

"I cease. I don't exist. Not anymore."

I stare blankly. I wasn't entirely sure before I died, but now that I know that there is in fact a Heaven, this means…

"You'd give up eternity…"

"For her," Anna nods firmly. "A thousand times, yes."

I bend over to rest my elbows on my knees and run my fingers through my hair, overwhelmed, but understanding the feeling. I'd give anything for Elsa as well.

"It should be you," I shake my head. "You're her wife."

"You and I both heard what she said to you in the hospital. And I've seen you two interact the last nine months. And…she's never looked at me the way she looks at you. She loved me, but she's  _in love_ with you," she smiles. "And I don't blame her. I like you even though I should hate you. Seems like it'd be kind of hard to hate you anyway though, I imagine, with us being…"

"Yeah, two halves of the same soul," I finish for her.

She chuckles. "I've learnt the short version is 'twin souls'."

"Ah," I nod my head, not knowing what else to say.

I mean, what is there to say? She just told me she's going to give up  _existing_  just so I can go back. We sit in silence for a moment, before she clears her throat.

"Chm," she says, "Um, I know this is a lot to take in, and I don't mean to rush you or anything but…we're kind of on a tight schedule. We only have so much time for this to work. You're dead, remember?"

I nod my head in understanding. Brain-death would be a good thing to avoid if we do this.

"Okay…I'll…I'll do it," I say slowly. "But only if you're sure."

"I am," she replies solemnly.

"And there's no way it can be you? You're sure?"

"Yes."

I take a deep breath. "All right…so um, how is this going to work? Like, what's going to happen?"

"Well," Anna says slowly, "I'm not a hundred percent sure, but…I know it won't be like a standard merging."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, well, you know that when twin souls merge, they become a whole new person, with both sets of memories, experiences, and personalities, right?" I nod. "Well, when we, uh—I don't want to say  _merge_ —but um, join? Yeah, when we join, it'll be more like a…reincarnation of me? You'll still be you, but with my memories, and I, as I said before, will cease to exist."

I pause for a moment, taking in what all she's said.

"What do I tell Elsa she needs to do?" I ask.

"You'll know after the joining," she assures me. "Now, quickly. Are you ready?"

"Will it hurt?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know," she answers. "But absorbing me won't fix your injuries to your body, so you're going to have to heal like any normal human being."

I take a few deep breaths. "Okay, let's do this."

Anna nods, standing, and I join her.

"Um, just one thing," I say, and she cocks her head. "Thanks. For everything. I'll take good care of her, I promise."

Anna gives me her first true smile, hugging me. "I know you will."

I squeeze her back, willing myself not to cry as she pulls back.

"Are you ready?" she asks.

I give her a sad smile. "I was born ready."

Anna smiles back knowingly.

"All right," she says, placing her hands on either side of my face. "Good luck."

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain, and I cry out grasping at my skull as thousands of images begin flashing before my eyes. The pain recedes for a moment, but then spikes again as the images begin coming faster and faster.

Elsa and me playing as kids, the two of us building a snowman.

Years of isolation before seeing her again at her coronation.

Me chasing after Elsa when she runs away.

Me throwing myself in front of Hans' sword to protect Elsa.

Elsa's love thawing me.

I fall to my knees, the pain almost becoming unbearable as tears run down my face. Then I feel another type of pain, this one in my chest. It's almost as bad as the nails being drilled into my head.

I gasp in agony when it hits me again, taking my breath away. Then I start hearing voices.

"Still flat lining!"

" _Anna_!"

"Clear!"

I cry out again, feeling as if my chest is on fire.

"No response, go again!"

"Anna please! Don't do this!"

"Charge to three hundred—"

" _SAVE HER_!"

I feel my chest convulse again, only it's different this time. It's almost like it's pulling me towards something. Fast. Suddenly, my back arches and I gasp for air as my eyes shoot open.

"I have a pulse!" I hear someone say, and I'm blinded by a white light.

Everything else turns into background noise as I try to comprehend what's happening. I turn my head to the side, panting for air. I'm met with a pair of cerulean blue eyes that are wide and red from crying.

"Anna!" Elsa cries out, tears streaming down her face. "Anna!"

"…Elsa…" I mumble, before my eyes roll back and I'm consumed by darkness once again.

 

*****line break*****

 

The soft beeps and whirrs of different machines is the first thing I notice. The fact that I'm lying on a bed is the second. Where am I?

Then the memories start flooding back. Adgar, Hans, Elsa, the car…

Anna gave up her life, her  _existence_  for me. And how am I repaying her? By lying in this stupid hospital bed while Elsa is no doubt waiting for me to wake up? No. Not uh. I'm not giving up that easy.

The thought is enough for my eyes to finally flutter open. I blink a few times to clear my vision before looking around the room. As far as hospital rooms go, this one is pretty standard.

I swallow, my throat feeling like sandpaper, as I look to my left. The heart monitor I'm connected to beeps back at me softly, showing my vitals. I blink again, looking to my right.

Then I see her.

She's sleeping, her head resting on the bed next to my thigh, arms around her head. A single strand of platinum hair has fallen over her face, and moves slightly with her soft breaths. Her hand is clamped firmly around mine, I notice, and I squeeze it as best I can.

"Elsa," I try, but my voice cracks from lack of use.

I swallow thickly, and try again, this time squeezing the blondes hand with as much strength as I can muster.

"Elsa."

Elsa's brows furrow a tinge, and her grip tightens.

Then she opens her eyes.

Gods, maybe it's being given this second chance, but if I didn't know better I'd say everything went horribly…wonderful, and I actually ended up in Heaven. I lift my forefinger from our mutual grip to trace her cheek softly and I see tears start to form in her eyes.

I'm not wasted another second of life. I owe that to Anna. I owe that to Elsa.

I owe it to me.

"I love you," I tell her for the first time and it feels so right. Nothing I've ever said has been truer and nothing has ever been more important than her hearing those three words from me.

She smiles and the tears start to fall, but they're happy tears, not sobs, so I smile back. "I love you so much, Elsa" I say it again, wanting to hear the words fill the air once more, and feel her name on my lips once again.

"I love you too, Anna," she kisses my hand held firmly in hers still. "Don't ever do that to me again," she says, and though the words are meant to be teasing and firm, they feel more like a plea.

"Never," I promise her. "I'll never leave you again. I'm so sorry."

"Shh," Elsa hushes me, planting soothing kisses on my knuckles. "It's okay. I forgave you the second I saw you again."

My eyes feel so heavy, but I fight the fatigue that an insane amount of pain killers being pumped into my veins is probably giving me.

"Come here," I say, a croak still coating my voice. "Lay down with me."

Elsa's brows come together. "I don't want to hurt you. You've been through a lot, Anna."

I laugh.  _Tell me about it._

"I'd rather not," Elsa mutters.

I must have said that aloud.

"Please?" I ask again. "I…" I hesitate. I've always hated asking for this—for someone to be my Elsa. But she is my Elsa, damn it, so I can admit that I not only want this, but  _need_ it. "I need you. I need to feel you beside me again. Please?"

"Okay," she whispers softly, and with grace that always makes me smile, she edges onto the bed beside me without it shifting a centimeter.

Elsa begins tracing my brow, then the underside of my eyes, my temples, my jawline. "Is this okay?" she asks.

I smile and purse my lips in a kiss when she reaches them in answer.

She brushes some of my bangs away, above a bandage wrapped around my head, and smiles down at me. "How you feelin', soldier? Should I call a nurse?"

"No," I begin to shake my head, then decide from a twang of pain that that's not the best idea right now. "I just want you, just a few minutes of this, please."

"Okay," she concedes softly again. "Anything, Anna. You know that right?"

I give her a half smile. "I do."

"Okay, I accept."

I furrow my brows in confusion, wondering if my meds are making me fall in and out of consciousness. "What?"

"You said 'I do', and well, that made me think of vows, and I can only assume it was a clever ploy to plant an unconscious desire into my psyche to accept your hand in marriage. So, I accept."

I grin and roll my eyes as best I can. "Stop that."

Elsa chuckles. "I'm not really joking, you know."

I nod ever so slightly, and pull her down for a kiss. "I do," I answer cheekily, still grinning when her lips meet mine.

"Is that a 'yes'?" she asks, grinning on my lips in return.

"It's a 'we've got a few things to worry about first'," I answer, and kiss her once again, relishing the feel of her lower lip on my tongue when I brush it softly.

Elsa slumps her head. "Damn," she chuckles. "I thought the meds my give me a 'sure, whatever you say, Els. I'm too hopped up to know what I'm saying' in the least."

I swat her weakly and chuckle again. "I love you," I whisper in her ear. "I love you I love you I love you. And for good measure: I love you."

Elsa lifts her head to gaze into my eyes and I'm spellbound all over again. "I love you too, Anna Christianson."

A part of me is sad to hear my last name—sad for the other me. Most of me, though, is in bliss. "Okay," I sigh, not wanting this to end. "We should talk. There's a lot you don't know."

"Later," Elsa says, wrapping me in her warm embrace. "Right now I just want to hold you. To be sure you're really here."

I nod, stifling a yawn, causing her to chuckle softly. Man those meds are really hitting me hard.

"Why don't you sleep, Anna? You must be exhausted," she says gently, running a hand through my hair.

"I've slept enough," I yawn, "besides, I don't want to miss a single moment with you."

"Sleep, Anna," Elsa commands. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

I smile at her. "Okay."

I shift slightly, despite my body crying out in protest, and lay my head on Elsa's chest, taking in her scent. As I settle, I let myself slowly fall back into unconsciousness, a smile never leaving my lips.


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! I hope y'all enjoyed the story, and if you came here from FFNet, thanks for your support! Oh, and I got an awesome cover photo made by Lorelei-Lily Princess on Deviant art, but there's nowhere to post it here :/ But, I ended up keeping this story on FFNet, so if you want to check it out, you can look there! Thanks again, and I hope to see you around!

*****line break*****

Epilogue

_I swear, you’re the only reason I keep breathing_

_I swear, you keep on giving me the reason to keep believing._

_-“Best of Me”_

_The Letter Black_

“Anna, hurry up! We’re going to be late!” Elsa calls from the foyer.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I respond, hopping up to her with my crutches. Elsa, seeing me coming, immediately furrows her brows.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asks me in her no-nonsense voice.

“Uh, going to Arendelle so I can watch my awesome girlfriend fulfill her destiny?” I reply with as much sass as I can muster while smiling.

“Not like that you aren’t,” she says, stalking up to me, and forcing me back into the living room. “Where’s your wheelchair?”

“Aw Els, do I have to? You _know_ I hate that thing,” I whine, as Elsa pulls the evil contraption out from behind the couch.

“Anna, you were only just released yesterday. The doctor said to take it easy,” she reminds me.

“He also said I was allowed to walk using the crutches—”

“For short periods of time,” Elsa finishes for me. “And we don’t know how long this is going to take.”

I sigh heavily and back myself into the chair when she pushes it behind me. I wince as quietly as I can, but Elsa still notices and tsks.

“I’m fine!” I say through clenched teeth, holding my ribs, two of which are still on the mend.

Elsa rolls her eyes. “You are very fine, but that’s beside the point,” she says and I can hear the grin in her voice.

I narrow my eyes as I twist as much as I can to glare up at her. Elsa still grins mischievously as she bends to kiss me. I reach up with my non-casted hand to gently hold her chin, tracing her jawline and grin back into the kiss.

“Brat,” I accuse her.

Elsa’s brow arches. “Said the brat.”

I mock-scowl which only earns me another grinning kiss. Before I know it, she’s leaning on both arms of the wheelchair in front of me, and I’m lost in her. Gods, I could kiss those lips for the rest of eternity. I certainly nearly died trying.

“Ah!” Elsa yelps as my chair wheels itself backward from her leaning on it.

“Oops, heh heh,” I chuckle. “Forgot the brake.”

Elsa chuckles in return. “We should get going anyway,” she says, taking to the handles of my wheelchair.

“May I?” she asks permission.

“I’d say where you lead, I will follow…” I begin, and start laughing again.

Elsa shakes her head. “She laughs at being temporarily handicapped. My girlfriend is so weird.”

“That’s why you love me,” I sing as she starts pushing towards the door, pausing only to use the snowflake key to open the portal to Arendelle.

I smile at the swirling blues, excited to be going back. To be going home. My heart warms at the thought. Because, even though it took me a long time, I finally realized that Arendelle is in fact my home. I’ve never felt more myself or happier than when I was in Arendelle. And having _all_ of my memories doesn’t hurt the feeling either.

Elsa pushes me through the portal, and a few seconds later, we walk out of her bedroom closet in Arendelle. I feel my smile widen when I see the familiar room, and direct Elsa to push me over to the window. I take in the view, humming in contentment.

“Ah,” I sigh, “It’s good to be back.”

I hear Elsa chuckle behind me. “Yes, it is. But we need to get going. Everyone’s waiting for us.”

“Everyone?” I question, turning to look up at her as she wheels me through the hallways.

“Yes, everyone. Rapunzel, Aurora, Snow, Hans, Kristoff…everyone. I’ve done a lot of…explaining…these last two weeks. I told them everything.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Everything? Like… _everything_?”

Elsa chuckles again. “Yes, Anna. Everything.”

“And they believed you?” I ask incredulously.

“Well, not at first,” she concedes. “But they did notice that you acted differently, memory loss or no.”

“You told them that I wasn’t her, er me, er….awkward…” I rub the back of my neck.

“Most of them were more concerned with what the merge would mean for each of them,” Elsa changes the subject. “Especially Hans.”

“Oh…” I stare blankly. “Yeah, I guess they would be.”

I touch her hand on the handle of my wheelchair behind me. “Els…?”

“Hmmm?” Elsa stops.

“Are you sure about this? I mean, I think it’s the right call, but it is _your_ call. I hope you’re making this decision because it’s the one you believe in.”

Phew. That’s been on my chest ever since Agdar spewed all that stuff about Anna influencing Elsa’s decision. Not that I don’t absolutely agree, but still…

“Anna Christiansen,” Elsa begins sternly. “You know this is the choice I’ve made and I couldn’t be surer. A world without magic?” She whips the chair around and smirks at me. “Might as well be a world without you, and that’s no world I’d want to be a part of.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, Casanova.”

“You know you like,” Elsa teases, and whip me back around.

We move through the halls in silence for a few more minutes, a question weighing heavily on my mind. I want to ask her…but I also don’t want to upset her.

“What is it, Anna,” Elsa sighs, reading me like an open book. “And don’t you dare try to tell me it’s nothing.”

I look down at my hands, choosing my words carefully.

“It’s just…” I start slowly, before sighing into my lap. “I was wondering if, maybe, we could stop by and see _her_. You know, before you merge the two worlds. I know neither of us really got to say goodbye.”

Elsa’s quiet for several minutes, the sound of the wheels squeaking echoing through the halls. I wait patiently for her answer, knowing how hard it is for her when I bring this subject up.

“Okay,” she says, so softly I almost don’t hear her.

She gently turns me down a different hall, this one leading out to the gardens. A fitting place for her to rest. We walk past several different kinds of flowers, each one more beautiful than the last. It always amazes me how, even in the dead of winter, this garden manages to flourish. Obviously there’s magic involved, though I have no idea how it works.

Eventually, we reach the center of the garden, where a single, solidary headstone sits, the name freshly carved into the stone.

_Gerda_.

Elsa wheels me up to the headstone, and places a hand on top of it. “Hi, Gerda,” she says sadly.

I feel a lump in my throat start to form.

“I’m so thankful to her,” I tell Elsa, holding her hand on my shoulder. “Without her…we wouldn’t be here today.”

Elsa nods, bending to my level. “Even without her sacrifice she would have deserved this,” she says, tracing a medal Elsa had bestowed upon her—a rare Arendelle Orchid encased and forever preserved in a thin layer of ice.

We sit in silence for a moment, both wiping away silent tears before Elsa stands back up. “Okay, love. We should honor her by fulfilling the prophecy.”

I smile at Elsa’s generosity. “You will be doing the honors, Els.”

“ _Au contraire_ ,” Elsa smiles as the perfect French rolls off her tongue. “I’ve decided it should be you to do it, or at least help me do it.”

I raise a questioning brow. “Huh?! How am I supposed to do that? Last time I checked, I’m not the one with magic—“

I cut myself off. Elsa smirks, recognizing my embarrassed expression. I’m guessing my cheeks being on fire probably gave me away.

“Magic…what?” she grins.

“Magic salkfjlskd,” I mumble.

Elsa laughs. “Try that again.”

“Ugh!” I scowl.

“Come on…” Elsa eggs me on.

“Magic fingers! Okay!” I burst. “I was going to say that, because you shoot ice out of them and stuff, and then I realized that would sound incredibly bad and SHUT UP!” I punch her thigh as she bends over in guffaws, tears of a different kind escaping her now.

“Oh gods,” Elsa can barely breathe. “My abs! It hurts!”

I narrow my eyes and cross my arms. “Shut up!” I repeat. “You _made_ me say it!

Elsa finally manages to regain control over herself enough to stand and start wheeling me back inside. She sighs happily. “I love you.”

“Shut up,” I say, still pouting.

Elsa stifles laughter behind me, wheeling me out of the garden.

“Come on,” she says, still chuckling at me, “It’s time.”

*****line break*****

Oh! You’re still here? How the hell—You know what, I’m not even going to ask. After all, it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me. Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches, you know?

Anyway…so you’ve seen everything. There’s really nothing else for me to tell you. Elsa and I are going to merge the worlds. Anna’s memories told me that it was fear that split the world apart centuries ago, and love would merge them. When I told Elsa she smiled and nodded, kissed me, and said “I know what to do.”

Of course, she wouldn’t tell me anything after that. Figures. But, uh, yeah…so here we are. Elsa still hasn’t told me or anyone what’s going to happen when she merges the worlds. She insists I need to help, though I’m not sure how I will.  According to Smooth Operator, I’m her true love, so she can’t do it without me. I really have no clue what she’s planning. Guess we’ll all just have to find out together.

Can you see us? We’re at the crystalline palace, waiting for Elsa who’s preparing on the terrace. I’m not really sure what’s happening. I mean, there’s lots of swirling snow and ice in every color imaginable, and it’s a little scary, but she seems to know what she’s doing, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. It almost looks like she’s crafting a portal like the one between the worlds, only….maybe it’s more like she’s disintegrating it? Who knows? 

Hans looks a little nervous, understandably. He’s standing behind Elsa and me with the others. Snow’s been really sweet, assuring him that his soul—no matter what it’s done and no matter what world it inhabits—can reform, can heal. And surprisingly, I’m here hoping that it does. 

I mean, yeah the Hans in my world is _kind of_ a jackass, but he did help us find and incarcerate Adgar after my accident, so I guess there’s a little good in him, right? 

Speaking of Adgar, I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to him, huh? Well, first of all, no, he wasn’t the one that hit me with the car. That was Hans. But he only did it to help…in his own, perverse way. He was trying to stop Adgar from using me, and in turn using Elsa to destroy the magic world. Not ‘cause he cared. No, he did it because Adgar wounded his pride, and, apparently, Hans is very, _very_ spiteful. But hey, who am I to judge?

…Anyway, after Hans ran me down, he helped Elsa and the cops track down Adgar in order to lessen his dual attempted murder charges. So now both him and Adgar are sitting in cells somewhere until Elsa merges the worlds. We figured we’d find a more…permanent solution for them afterwards. N-not like, killing them or anything, but…something. 

Ooh! It looks like Elsa’s getting ready to start. I better go. You know, the whole ‘I’m supposed to help’ thing.  But, feel free to watch and…thanks. Thanks for being there for me when I thought all hope was lost. Telling you my story helped me in more ways than you’ll ever know. 

“Ready?” Elsa asks, taking my hand and supporting me as we make our way to the terrace. 

I kiss her, smiling against her lips.  I don’t know what’s going to happen, but as long as I’m with her, I know everything is going to be all right. I pull back, a grin on my face as I look into her eyes. 

“I was born ready!”


End file.
